Wow. It's been a really long time since I wrote fanfiction, or even visited this site. Anyways. I wrote this in March/April for the livejournal community twilightswap. It's pretty different than anything I've really written for this fandom, or really anything in general. I guess the point of me posting this is because I've recently started working back on Lesson in Survival and this was meant to be posted like a month ago, but I never got around to it. So, I'm sorry for the author's note, and its longwindedness, but here goes nothing...
Remnants of an Unfinished Life
You've been in a situation like this before. This push-pull relationship that you've developed with one another, both unyielding, stubborn to the last breath. You know that it's only going to end with one of you broken, with the other left to pick up the remnants of an unfinished life.
But you've already been broken once before. You know what it's like to be so thoroughly disheartened that life loses its meaning. This time, you're determined to not let it happen to you again. If anyone is going to be broken, you resolve to be the breaker, as much as it pains you.
You haven't seen him in six days. Once upon a time, when vampires were long gone and he was all you had, six days would have been too much for you. Now, you manage to fill your moments with true loves and dreams about the future that don't seem to have a place for your best friend. And as much it hurts you to think about that you push on.
Still, you crave the warmth. As much as you love Edward, you miss the sheer presence of life that was your best friend. You miss the relentless optimism that he had always shown you.
When Edward's out hunting and you're sure nobody else is around, you boldly dial the telephone number that's become forever ingrained in your soul. For what seems like eternity, but is probably less than a minute, the sound of the phone connecting draws itself out, pulling at your confidence. After the sixth ring you contemplate hanging up the phone. It's certainly what you would have done two years ago, before you'd met things that were dreamed about in books and films.
But before you can convince your hand to move he picks up. His voice is just as you remembered it; you can already picture his exact facial expression as his mouth forms the word.
"Hello?"
You manage to stutter out your intentions, as you picture his half-formed anger sprawling itself across his features. For what seems like another eternity he's silent, and you're afraid he's hung up on you. Finally he sighs heavily and you think you've won.
"Are you sure?"
You're sure, and his agreement makes your heart soar. As the two of you organize the where and when, a thought slips past you. Maybe, just maybe, you can get him to see your side of things. Maybe then he'll see that you need them both. That without the two of them, you're incomplete.
You slip out easily because Charlie's still at work, and you curse the world in general when your truck takes forever to start. But slowly you manage to make your way down to La Push, eagerly counting down the minutes until you can see your best friend again.
La Push is the same stagnant place it's always been and you find a little comfort in that. Your life has been an upheaval and the fact that a place you enjoyed visiting once has not been affected by the recent developments of the seemingly soap opera that has become your life.
You park a little ways from the beach, carefully picking your way through the driftwood to the place you had agreed to meet. At first you don't see him and melancholy drifts over your mood and you realize that once again, you've been let down by someone you love. You're about to turn around when you hear your name called in a low voice. You turn around and he's standing there in front of you.
He's been waiting right where he promised and your heart lightens just at the sight of him. As you hug him gently the scowl melts right off his face, and he returns the hug briefly. You're once again reminded that for all that his appearance is that of a man, he really is still a boy, albeit one who is easily affected by a perceived snub. The two of you sit down, cross-legged, face to face and go through the usual pleasantries. He avoids any and all mention of vampires and you purposely omit any sentences that contain what he's become when you ask about his pack.
You're amazed at how easily you fall back into the back and forth conversations that could go on for hours. At one point in the conversation you want to hug yourself, because you have your best friend back, and you're starting to think that maybe, just maybe, everything is going to work out for the best. For that one instant, you've convinced yourself that everything's fine.
"What about Cullen?"
From the twist in his features and the subtle shakes that threaten to consume his whole body you can tell he's not happy with you, or your answer. You try to placate him before he loses complete control and your efforts are rewarded when he calms back down. You rush to try to explain yourself, your reasoning. Edward is your raison d'etre, and if you were to lose him again you'd be even worse than before. His eyes are cold as he stares you down unflinchingly, and for some reason, you've never seen him look so beautiful.
Your hands flutter as you try to help him see your way of thinking. The shaking starts again full force and you're panicking now. You've never seen him get this violently angry and the fear is coming in waves as your mind tries to quickly process how to extract yourself out of the situation.
For a moment his features return to normal and you see the calm, placid features that you know as well as your own. Then, distantly you see a flash of bronze, and you know that it's all over. Edward is coming quickly towards the both of you and you're squeezing your eyes shut because you know that the only things that will happen are bad, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
You open one eye to see a wolf in lieu of your best friend, but Edward shoots straight past him towards you. His eyes are searching you, and for a second you think he can see into your soul.
"What were you thinking?"
Before you can answer the wolf is coming towards the two of you at an alarming rate. Without thinking you throw yourself in front of Edward at the last second and pray for the best.
The next thing you know you're up against a pile of wood and your whole body aches and two Edwards are kneeling in front of you. You think it's the most gorgeous sight you've ever seen in your life, and you try to open your mouth to tell him so.
"Can you hear me Bella?"
He takes his hands and cradles your face.
"Bella, I love you, please don't leave me."
You try to tell him you aren't going anywhere, but he still doesn't seem to hear you. You feel yourself growing weaker with each passing second and you can't understand why he's taking so long. You stare up at him, unfocused as his face twists into a mask of indecision, sobs wracking his entire body. He stills suddenly and your eyes recognize someone behind him.
"Do it."
The voice is so dull and lifeless that you don't associate it with the person it belongs to. Pain equal to your own is scrawled across his open features. He kneels down closer to you, running his hand across the top of your head. He turns towards Edward.
"Do it."
Edward looks at him and nods once. He turns to you with a sad look in his eyes before bending towards your neck. You take all the strength left in you and turn your head to grant him easier access. His words are a whispered murmur against your skin.
"I'm so sorry it had to happen this way."
You barely feel the bite through your quickly dulling senses, but you immediately recognize the fire. Your body arches painfully as Edward gathers your broken body in his arms. As he carries you away, you look one last time towards the man on the beach. His expression is so thoroughly broken that your heart breaks. You try to extend a hand towards him, but it's already too late for that. The damage is done and now all that's left is two broken people trying to pick up the pieces of an unfinished life.
After unspeakable pain you wake up to a pale face hovering over you, quickly and quietly murmuring it's worry. You lift your hand up disconcertingly fast to stroke Edward's face and briefly you marvel at the paleness of your complexion. He looks at you and you can see the love and worry that are battling for dominance in his expression. You think that maybe your expression is the same as he pulls you close to him. You squeeze your eyes shut and tell yourself that the small ache in your chest is imagined and isn't for a tall boy that didn't ever want to hurt you.