Disclaimer: If I owned IS, I would not be writing this.

Spoilers: I'm not too sure. Let's just play pretend and say that Tommy and Sadie got back together after "Hallelujah" (I know, I know. WTF? Right? Well it's only for storyline purposes). Guess the story just kinda goes on its own.

A/N: This is my first venture into the Instant Star fan fiction realm. So please feel free to constructively criticize , praise, or do as you see fit. I hope you enjoy reading this.

I'm not too entirely sure where this is going, but I have an idea of where I want this to go and who I want to end up with who (Jommy shipper here, but I'm also a sucker for an unconventional pairing, hint hint). But there will be no mushy stuff right away. I'm more an of angst, I-don't-believe-in-fairy-tales kind of girl. But it is nice to dream. LOL.

This part is on the short side, just a little prologue. Let me know if you want more.

Prologue: Something Like Feeling

She lay there on her back, motionless and in complete silence, body aching and sweaty. Her brilliant eyes staring at the nothingness of the ceiling above her, trapping her there. Laying there in completely darkness, she shivered, instinctively pulling the thin sheet closer so it conformed to her body, like a second skin, like something to protect her.

The room was cold, except for the man next too her. Fear leaving her there paralyzed, unsure of whether or not she should move closer to the warm-blooded body that had just moments ago made her feel anything but cold. She missed that feeling already. And she hated that. Hated herself. Hated that she felt needy and wanted to be comforted. That was never who she wanted to be, never her intentions. Then again it was never her intention to end up right where she was at this very moment.

She lay there afraid to say something, anything. More like not knowing what too say. She blinked, suddenly wishing there was some light in the room. Then maybe that way she could have at least stared at the ceiling and counted the numerous cracks in it, keeping her from thinking. Thinking hurt too much, just like everything else. It always did. No matter what her thoughts somehow shifted to him.

No, No, NO! She yelled inside her head. She would not do this know. She refused. She laughed bitterly inside her head. And here she was reprimanding herself. If things were the way things were supposed to be, she wouldn't be lying here thinking about him. She should be thinking about the person lying next to her, who did things to and with her that a good little girl would never do. But nothing was ever the way it was supposed to be. It was official. She was a firm believer that life was cruel.

She exhaled deeply and let on the breathe she had been unconsciously holding. She couldn't take this silence anymore. It was too loud. Any longer and she would lose what shred of sanity she had left.

"I don't think I can move," she stated matter-of-factly, her breathing still a little ragged.

She could hear him try and suppress a laugh, but he choked on it instead.

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

"I know. It just that, well, after what we just did you shouldn't be able to move at all, girl," he said before he could catch himself with the last word. Fuck he thought to himself. He bit his tongue but it was too late. He could feel her flinch and shift uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't think-" He started to apologize but his words were cut off by her lips roughly upon his, her tongue tracing his lip and pulling away before he could open his mouth and grant her full access. He understood. It was her way of shutting him up and saying there was nothing to be sorry about.

Jude settle back into the bed, once again laying on her back, staring into oblivion.

"You'd think I would be over it by now. Look at me. I'm fucking pathetic. I just…I…I don't know…" she searched for the words to try and explain but there were none.

He moved so the he was on his side, but used his forearm to prop himself up, so that he was almost hovering over her.

"You don't owe me an explanation. I understand, Jude. Honestly I do," he spoke hoping she would be at some ease with his words, but his voice betrayed him. Jude could hear the strain and hurt in him too. Jude contemplated how sick it really was too find comfort in his pain.

She swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that were threatening too fall. She could feel fingertips grazing the side of her face before he reached for a blonde strand and brushed it away from her face. It was then that she noticed the room seemed a little brighter. Her gaze shifted too behind him where the brilliant, white moon was now brighter than ever, illuminating the room so she was able too make the outline of his well-defined body out.

Her porcelain skin glowed in the moonlight and her eyes glistened with the tears that were lingering there, but she stubbornly refused to let fall. Typical Jude. Stubborn. It made him smile.

"You're beautiful," he stated.

"I'm a mess."

"Ok. You're a beautiful mess."

For the first time in a while, a slight smile played across her delicate face. He placed a chaste kiss upon her lips, letting his linger on hers for a moment.

He once again laid down on his back ,mimicking her position, a companionable silence falling between them for what seemed an eternity. Nothing needed to be said. No meaningless, empty promises of "I love you" that would be broken anyways. No voices of regrets because there were none. They weren't lovers, or committing themselves too each other, nor were they 'friends with benefits'. No, they were more than the latter. They were two people who needed something, needed this, more than anything ever before. Needing too feel something besides hurt and pain.

His large hand grasped hers, their fingers entwining together. At this moment Jude had never been more grateful for anything or anyone. He was giving her something to hold on too. Something to remind her she was alive. Yet this was the most god-damned twisted thing she had never even imagined.

Jude realized it was ok too feel the pain, hurt, anger, and emptiness she had been trying to keep locked away. It was ok because he got it and wouldn't judge her for it. She rolled over and moved closer, attaching herself to his body. She rested her head upon his strong, bare chest feeling the rise and fall of him breathing with her, in sync.

"Damn it. How did we get here?" she asked almost rhetorically. "How did everything get so fucked up? How did it get to this point? How did we get here, Kwest?" she spoke while her hot, salty tears branded his chest.

He didn't say anything because they both knew the answer. All Kwest could do was hold her as she cried for herself, for him, and for the thing called love that they both wished never existed.

End Prologue

Well, there it is folks. The introduction to what is hopefully a good story.

I know there is probably a lot of you going WTF? Jwest? And where is the Jommy? Lol. Well I guess good things come to those who wait. But it may take a while.

You all will learn the backstory to this in future chapters. That is if you want. So don't forget to hit that review button.

And I thank you for taking the time to read this.

Tamara