Chapter 1 -Another ruined soufflé

The door of the Torchwood headquarter opened with a satisfying hissing sound as a tall dark-haired man entered sighing slightly sarcastically. Today was not at all a good day for him to reappear, and although the Capitain was looking forward to meeting his old friend again, the remorse overpowered every pleasant emotion. Any day would have been fine, but why of all days did he have had to choose Alonso's birthday? Captain Jack Harness hung the black coat that had more than a charming effect on the ladies, men and diverse alien individuals on a chair standing near the entrance. He knew for sure that no one would dare to take his coat, even though it often lay in unlogical places. His coat was too much of a reminder of Jack's extroverted and engaging character; it's plain association with him made the agents of Torchwood feel as if they touched Jack in an uncomfortably intimate manner.

But at the moment, Jack had worse problems than his well-fitting clothes: his friend would soon appear and with him, as always, probably loads of trouble.

The device on Jack's wrist made an unpleasant bleeping sound and he had a quick look at the display.

ONE NEW MESSAGE (AUDIO).

'Play message', ordered Jack and the display turned black. At first, he could only hear rattling noises as well as buttons being pushed and triggers being pulled. Then a few aggressively whispered words and finally a slight cough.

'Hello, Jack' said the Doctor while seemingly still navigating the TARDIS as there were a lot of background noises, 'I hope you have a little bit of time to spare because Clara and I are in a little bit of trouble and we might need Torchwood to do their duty. Anyways, I know Alonso expects a certain kind of comfort on his birthday which includes your presence, but don't worry, he won't even notice you were gone. So now that this is resolved: Geronimo!'

The pling of Jack's vortex manipulator was barely audible, but he saw the display glow again.

'Oh no, you don't' muttered Jack, but he knew manual reprogramming didn't stand a chance against the Doctor's and especially the TARDIS's strong will.

Bright light blinded him as he unwillingly entered the Time Lord's ship. The well known calming hum of the engines and the friendly, yellow light of the time machine's heart soothed Jack and he could concentrate on the possibilities that lay before him; brunette, brown-eyed and with a slightly confused smile.

'Well, hello' grinned Jack and felt his mood rise to even higher levels. 'Who do you happen to be? Maybe we could-'

'No, you couldn't, Jack, stop it!'

The Doctor and stabbed a finger into Jack's chest. 'Stop flirting with my...' He didn't end the sentence but cleared his throat and began kneeding his hands like he always did in embarassing situations.

'So!' he suddenly shouted and clapped his hands together overenthusiastically, 'It seems like some old friends will be popping in and I wondered if you, Jack, had any interest in doing what you're best at.'

'Seduction?' suggested Jack and ignored the Doctor's inflictive look.

'No' the Time Lord continued as if there had never been an interruption, 'I was actually talking about something else. Jack – you do remeber you are the leader of Torchwood?'

'

Might have heard about it, yeah' Jack said nonchalantly.

'Then you'll be aware of your institute's function' concluded the Doctor with an amused smile.

'Nice new look, by the way!' exclaimed Jack and ignored his friend's rhetorical question completely. 'The tweed suits you really well and that hair – stunning. Your bow-tie, though...'

'What about it?!' the Doctor asked indignantly. 'Bow-ties are absolutely cool, don't criticize them!'

To avoid any further discussions that could turn into a serious fight for life or death, Jack now turned to the Doctor's attractive female friend which astonishingly hadn't been introduced as his companion.

'What's your name, pretty?' asked Jack and enjoyed the helplessly displeased stares with which the Doctor tried to pierce him. What was it about this cute young thing that awoke jealousy in the Doctor's hearts?

'Don't try to flirt with me' she said smirking ironically, 'It's no use. But I'm Clara, pleased to meet you.'

'Clara, that's a wonderful name. And I wasn't flirting at all, just saying what's on my mind and therefore basically telling nothing but the pure truth.'

The Doctor didn't react to Jack's mild provocation; he just sighed and started to land the TARDIS in his usual, uncoordinated manner.

Several minutes later (the TARDIS was still travelling through the vortex) Jack doubted more than ever that the Doctor had any idea how to navigate a time machine, and out of that state of resignation he remembered the mentioning of some 'old friends' and felt his curiosity take over.

'Are these ''friends'' of yours the slimy type or more – you know – pleasant to look at?Your... acquaintances could totally become my friends as well, don't you think?' he added grinning at Clara who now felt less intimidated by him than a few minutes ago and this time smiled back less sarcastically.

Jack knew that everyone fell for him sooner or later. Even the Doctor himself couldn't fully resist Jack's charming character, or at least the Capitain liked to think that.

'Those ''friends'' are actually quite dangerous aliens from the dawn of time' the Doctor replied seeming not at all unhappy about that fact.

'No wonder they like you, you have a lot in common' muttered Clara.

'It smells a little – weird in here, doesn't it?' remarked Jack.

Clara sniffed. It did smell a little peculiar indeed, not to say: burned.

'Oh no, my soufflé, it's still in the vortex' energy stream!'

She hasted to the second control room in its console her soufflé had turned into charcoal.

'Why can't this stupid box just install a timer instead of destroying my soufflés? You hear me?!' Clara adressed the TARDIS her arms crossed.

'Just because you hate me doesn't mean you have to waste a delicious dessert. But what would you know about it, you're just an annoying metal cube!'

As if she had heard Clara's insults the TARDIS started humming aggressively and suddenly shook so heavily that Clara didn't have the chance to get a hold of anything – she fell down the stairs that lead to the console and hit her head on the floor so hard she only saw little blinking stars for a moment.

'Oi, Clara, what did you say to the lady?!' she heard the Doctor shout.

'She's not a lady, she's just a machine that despises me!' Clara yelled back gripping a metal pipe to be prepared for the immediate angry response of the ship.

All of a sudden a huge bang sweeped both of them off their feet. Somewhere in the depths of the time machine something had exploded.

'Doctor, what happened?!' screamed Clara who already regretted the rude things she had told the box.

'I think you just offended his wife!' Jack replied loudly over several minor explosions.

'She's not my wife!' dissented the Doctor, 'I'm married to her daughter!'