Chapter 1

"Whoa, hey, slow down Bay! You're not late, what's the rush?"

I looked at Alicia and almost broke into tears. "Can we talk in the office?" I could see the concern in her eyes as she tossed a towel into the sink and without a word headed to the office.

"David, bar needs covered, emergency going on here," my best friend announced as we entered the office. I was pretty sure no one else could talk to their boss that way.

"You okay darling," David asked as he moved toward the door. I nodded and kept quiet until he had closed the door and headed down the hallway to the bar.

"Brantley has lost his damn mind this time Alicia!"

I could see her exhale the deep breath she'd been holding. "What scheme is he running with now?"

"You know the big award show in three weeks, the CMA's? Yeah, well he expects me to go with him!"

"Okay, I guess I fail to see the issue here Bailey. That sounds awesome!"

"UGH! Alicia! He's nominated this year! All of Nashville is noticing him these days. If I go with him I'll be tossed into the spotlight, you know I don't want that!"

Alicia actually giggled. "Doll we all know you don't want that. That's why you're sitting on stacks of songs that could bring in major recognition for you and change your whole life forever! But seriously, this does sound fun. He isn't trying to con you into selling songs at least. Hell, maybe there's even a way to go and avoid the paparazzi of it all."

I sighed heavily and sat down in David's chair. I thought over what she said and wondered if maybe there would be a way. "If there was and I could get the time off, I'd love to go. It's a huge night for him. Win or lose."

"Look, tomorrow when we all meet up at your place for the game we can put our heads together and figure it out."

"Okay genius and if I can't get off work, what then?"

Alicia threw open the door and yelled out, "Hey David, Bailey's gonna need a week off in three weeks! That okay?"

From the bar area I could hear him call back, "Whatever my girls need!"

Closing the door Alicia looked at me with a satisfied smirk. "There, that's taken care of. Now can we please go to work?"

"Okay okay! You win! Let's go mix up some drinks."

The night flew by and before I knew it last call was over and the last cab was pulling away. I was at the bar wiping it down and making sure it was all cleaned and ready for the next day when David walked up and held out a chair. "Sit Bailey, talk to me. What's this week off about?"

"You know Alicia, always jumping the gun." He nodded and quietly waited for me to go on. "Okay, fine. Brantley wants me to go to the award show with him. The big one."

I could tell by his face that he understood my dilemma. "And for him you want to go and be there, but you're worried about the lights and publicity of it all. Look Bailey, he's your best friend. These days a friendship that lasts as long as y'all's has is rare. It's a big night for him. Everyone around here is talking about his success. Listen; if you don't go you're gonna end up regretting it. Where there's a will there's a way ya know? I'd advise you find a way. Besides you got the days off so you might as well go. Now get on home, I'll get this here."

"You're sure? I can help, you know I don't mind."

With a smile he said, "Go Bailey." I smiled at the only father figure that I had before I grabbed my purse and headed to the door.

"Bailey! WAKE UP!"

"I swear Brant, if you do not get off this bed and leave me alone you will not live to the CMA's…" I muttered pulling the covers up over my head.

He jerked the covers down and grinned. "But I brought pumpkin spice lattes."

I slowly cracked one eye. "Did you say…" he nodded still grinning that grin that made him look ten again. "Fine, but you better know that the latte, it's your saving grace."

Planting a kiss on my forehead he jumped off the bed and headed to the door. I'll see you in the kitchen Bay." I mumbled something under my breath that even I didn't understand and heard him laugh as he headed up the hallway.

After I grudgingly got out of bed and went through my morning routine I felt somewhat more like myself. I entered the kitchen and glared at Brantley sitting at the high bar sipping his hot chocolate. "I really need to get those locks changed."

He shrugged and held out my latte. "Then I'd just bang on the door til you woke up and let me in."

"I'd kill you."

He laughed, "Bailey dear you love me far too much. Besides, I've been thinking and I've figured out a solution to the CMA issue you had."

I choked on my latte and looked up at him warily. "Brant it is far too early to discuss this."

He arched his eyebrow at me and said, "Okay, let's start with the fact that it's almost noon. And let's then discuss the fact that I've talked to the guys at the Association and venue and found out that there is a family and friend drop spot so to speak."

"You have my attention. Continue."

"You would be able to get dropped there, no red carpet, no press, or paparazzi. I'd meet you inside. Problem solved. You now have no excuse whatsoever not to go."

I smiled, thinking to myself that this could actually work. "Okay hot shot, what about when we get to the seats?"

"ARGH! Bay! They won't be showing me in the seat! Please, just come. This is the biggest night in my life and I don't just want you there, I need you there."

"She's going if I have to cuff her to you!" Alicia called out as the door slammed shut behind her.

"Did I mention that I have got to change those damn locks?"

Alicia breezed into the kitchen grinning. "Girl you are going. Deal with it!"

I held my hands up in surrender. "FINE, I'm going! You two win!"

Brantley's head snapped up. "You'll go? Really?" He smiled and scooped me up in a huge bear hug, spinning me around before letting my feet touch the ground again.

"So what changed your mind miss no limelight," Alicia asked.

Shrugging my shoulders I said, "Well, he worked out all the privacy issues so to speak. So it's okay."

Alicia raised her eyebrows in Brantley's direction and he smirked with a shrug. "Alright ladies, to the living room; its kick off time!"

We got settled in the living room and ready to watch the game. Well, at least Brantley and I did. Alicia was a student at UGA and I swear she had no team spirit at all. While I snuggled up with Brantley under a blanket she sat in the floor with her laptop in front of her working on school papers.

"You know she is probably the only student at UGA who doesn't give a damn about football and has never been to a game."

I laughed out loud and said, "You know you're probably right about that. I mean, who wouldn't wan… OH DAMN! Did you see that play! Touchdown Dawgs! Way to start this game boys!"

"At least I can have a conversation that isn't interrupted with cheers and jeers at the plays being made. You two don't have a normal conversation ever on game days."

Brantley and I had to laugh because she was right. Sentences were started and never finished, unless you considered the jubilant or dismayed play recalls finishing a sentence. Most didn't. I think somehow though that Brantley and I thought it was a perfect conversation.

"Another big win for the Dawgs baby," he said when the game was over as he stood and stretched out his lanky body. "And unfortunately I have to get going. I have to be in Nashville tonight."

"Be safe and text me as soon as you land, okay?" I worried so about him travelling that he sometimes referred to me as mother hen.

"Yes mama," he laughed. He kissed my forehead and headed out the door. I watched as he pulled away in his truck before I turned and headed back inside.

An hour later Alicia had finished up her final paper for the term, and came into the kitchen where I was putting icing on a batch of caramel Jack Daniels cupcakes and leaned against the door frame. "When are you two just gonna get together already?"

Maybe I'd sipped too much of the jack while making these cupcakes. "What! Are you insane? It's not like that with us. We've been friends since I was six years old Alicia." Had she lost her mind? Maybe she'd been sneaking the liquor.

"Maybe not, but then again maybe not for you," she said. "Anyone can see how he looks at you. Look, I know you're nervous about guys and all that relationship mess, but it's Brantley. He would never in a million years hurt you."

"He wouldn't, no, but that doesn't matter since I do not see him in that way, and he doesn't see me like that either. He knows all of my hell Alicia, from childhood til now and I can promise you even IF it was like that he wouldn't want damaged goods."

Alicia sighed heavily and moved to the refrigerator and began rummaging. Her voice was muffled from inside the fridge, "You are not damaged goods Bailey! You have got to stop thinking that you are. You're a survivor and a so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You didn't break like so many others would have."

"Maybe I just don't see me like you see me okay? Damaged goods or not, me and Brantley are just friends."

She stood from the fridge with the makings of dinner in her hands. Sitting it all on the counter she reached into her back pocket and pulled out my cell phone. "Well here, you're friend landed."

I took the phone and headed into the living room, plopping down onto the couch and glancing at my phone. I shook my head and swiped the screen to unlock it and then clicked the message icon.

"Hey my BayGirl, I just landed and I miss home already."

I smiled reading his childhood nickname for me. It had been bestowed on me at the age of eleven and had stuck. It was good to know that some things wouldn't ever change. "Good to know you're safe and sound and on the ground BG, and home misses you too."

"Well shucks miss, I'm flattered ;)"

I must have laughed out loud at that because Alicia poked her head around the corner and watched me intently for a minute. "Yep, that boy done got you giggling from a text." With that she turned and went back into the kitchen and I turned back to my cell phone.

Three hours later dinner had been devoured, cupcakes were all gone, and the dishes had been washed and put away. Alicia was gone and I saw alone in front of the fire nursing a cold beer. My mind had decided to travel down roads that I'd long ago stuck closed signs on. This was all Alicia's fault.

I'd been happily single for three years but tonight it wasn't feeling so happy after all. I had to admit, even if just to myself, that I was I was lonely. Maybe a boyfriend wouldn't be so bad. I was thirty one and not getting any younger, and deep down I did want a husband and a family of my own. But that would require me to trust a man with all of me, and that was something that I wasn't capable of doing.

In my life I'd had maybe six long term relationships and in every single one I'd been cheated on, an unspoken reminder that I just wasn't enough. The last two had verbalized that reminder daily. Between my last two boyfriends I'd spent four and a half years of my life being bruised and battered physically, emotionally, and mentally. I still carried the scars, seen and unseen. Those scars are what kept me from opening up enough to try again at the love game.

Alicia always said I just needed to try to find a nice guy who's different. The thing was, they're all nice and different, until they got you sucked into that. I could never get past that fact, they all start out nice. There was just no way that I could risk the next nice guy being as "nice" as the last one was. So why now was I thinking of how much I'd love to find a guy to keep me warm at night?

Chugging the last of the beer I stood and put the fire out before throwing the bottle into the trash bin. I shuffled down the hallway to my bedroom. It seemed extra roomy tonight, and by extra roomy I was thinking that it was extra lonely. I needed to redirect this idiot brain of mine so that I could get some rest.

I plopped myself down onto my bed and leaned back on my mountain of pillows, but not before I pulled open the bedside table drawer and pulled out my note pad and pen. I chewed on the lid to the pen for a good ten minutes before I finally let it touch the paper. I watched as the lines formed letters and the letters turned into words. Within an hour I had yet another song in front of me that was destined to become a page in my binder, a saved filed on my laptop.

I grabbed my cell and sent Brantley a text. "Guess who just knocked out a number one hit? That's right, this girl right here. Now I'm exhausted and going to sleep. I hope you're having fun BG. Goodnight, I miss you." I sat the phone on my bedside table and headed to brush my teeth and use the restroom. I got back to my too large for one person bed and saw the message indicator on my phone flashing. Picking it up I smiled, loving how I knew that I could always count on my best friend.

"Way to go my Baygirl! I can't wait to read it. Email me when you wake in the morning. I still wish you'd let me show your talent off around this town. Goodnight Bay, miss you."

I smiled again and shook my head. He was never going to give up, but I wasn't giving in. I plugged my cell phone up to charge and turned out the light, pulling my oversized comforter up around my shoulders. I fell asleep quickly but dreamed of the horrors that could be waiting for me at the CMA's. I tossed and turned all night and when I awoke at ten the next morning I felt as though I'd not slept a wink.