Disclaimer: No I don't own any of these characters, I just play with them and make them do my bidding! MWAHAHAHA!
Game
By: Jumping with Scissors.
It had always been a game with her. Light touches, secret meetings, the always constant thoughts of being caught, the thrill of having a secret lover. Pansy my lady in black.
The first time she noticed me was in our fourth year after the Yule ball. There had been a party in the Slytherin common room, and everyone got pissed.
I had told her that I found her interesting, that I liked her. She smiled in response and dared me to kiss her, I knew full well that Pansy was Draco's girl, but I was drunk off my ass and thought what the hell. That was the night I lost my childhood and was turned into an adult.
Pansy and I became closer after that, talking more, studying together, even spending weekends together. I knew in my heart that her heart belonged to Draco, but every time she came into my bed at night, I would wonder.
She would always leave before morning, before anyone had a chance to realize she'd been gone, and I would lay in my bed for hours and stare at the thankless ceiling, the only witness to our previous passion.
In the morning's after she wouldn't talk to me. She'd smile and hang on to Draco as if she was trying to get his forgiveness for something he had no clue of.
Two years went by and I finally couldn't take being a second to a man who didn't even love her. I was determined to keep her with me, if only for one night. I held her close as we finished, kept my arms around her as she reached for her clothes.
"Stay with me." I whispered.
She looked pained and turned, her back facing me. "You know I can't do that." She whispered back.
I let her leave that night.
Sometimes I think the ceiling is my only friend. It's the only one who knows the whole story, the only one who listens. I wonder what it would say if it had a voice. What advice would it give?
I'm convinced I don't want to know. I know what it would tell me, but I can't give her up. The ceiling doesn't know the whole story, only what it sees. It doesn't know how she makes me feel when she comes into my bed, or how my heart aches when she leaves.
It doesn't know how I feel.
I got the news a few months later. That night as she crawled into my bed she just lay there, she didn't say anything just laid down next to me. She said she wasn't crying, but she was, I could tell.
"What are we going to do?" I asked her. She was quiet for a few minutes, when she spoke her voice was soft.
"Get rid of it." She said, eyes shutting.
I turned on my side to look at her. Tears clung to her eyelashes and left streaks on her face. She'd never looked more beautiful to me, and I'd seen her at her best.
I knew I couldn't do what keeping it would require. I wasn't ready, but I couldn't just let her destroy something we'd created. I was sure that this would be the biggest piece of her I would ever be allowed to keep.
"No, I'll keep it."
She smiled and gave me a look. "If we don't kill it, Draco will."
I knew she was right, but, I couldn't just let it die. I turned away from her, tears falling from my own eyes. That was the hardest night I ever had to sleep through, but the morning after was worse.
I couldn't face Draco after that.
I knew Pansy had told him, but I didn't know if he thought it was his, or if he knew. My child, being carried by the only woman I would ever love, would either be killed or born into the Malfoy legacy. I couldn't stand it. I wished the ceiling had an answer, but it doesn't.
If Draco let it live he would know it wasn't his after it was born.
Pansy didn't come to me for a while after that, but when she did it was the last night of seventh year. I hugged her all night; she wasn't keeping it. That was the first night she stayed with me till morning; I got to wake up with her beside me.
I didn't want to move. I wanted to hold her until the train left, I wanted to keep her with me and our child. I knew we couldn't. We would board the train, she would give up our child, and I would never see her again.
"I need to tell you something." I couldn't let her go without telling her. She needed to know.
She didn't move, she didn't even breath, she was cold. I lifted my head and looked into her lifeless face. If was beautiful even in death she looked like a thousand flowers. I never got to tell her how I felt.
Theodore Nott found us, I was wrapped around her pale body, crying.
The train didn't leave that day, or the day after for me. I lost track of the days, my only companion that gray thankless ceiling.
Draco came to see me once, but I don't remember what he said. I don't want to remember. I want to shut my eyes and see her again, hold her close. I want to cry, but I won't let myself. She never liked tears, and I never liked shedding them.
She was my light. The only one in the world who had any chance at anything. She held my life, my heart in her hands, and when that light went out, I died, and the ceiling watched it all, voiceless.
It was in the middle of summer when I left Hogwarts. I was ready for a new life, one away from all the memories, but I had to see her one more time.
I visited her grave, for the first time and last time. It was in a beautiful clearing, and when the sun hit the tombstone it sparkled teasingly.
I knelt down and lay a pansy on her grave, and read the tombstone.
Pansy Parkinson
1980-1997
'It was just a game.'
I stood up and put my hat on. "Goodbye Pansy, my love." I whispered. I walked away and never looked back.
It was just a game to her, and if ceilings could talk it'd say the same.
End.
A/N: Woah. Another sad little fic, I wrote this one with my friend/co-writer Anndy Malfoy. I love Blaise/Pansy's. Inspiration Beauty song from House of the Flying Daggers.