Chapter I: A Sweater Weather Fiend

A/N: quality check complete ch1-5

Cause it's too cold

For you here and now

So let me hold

Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

And if I may just take your breath away

I don't mind if there's not much to say

Sometimes the silence guides your mind

To move to a place so far away.

Ruby stood on the corner of the busiest intersection in Westside: 24th and Schnee. The light was red and the sun beamed down on Ruby's hoodie but she still felt cold. Cold deep within her chest, she realized; Ruby couldn't shake the sentiment and shivered as the sun was sheltered behind a soft cloud floating by. The crossing signal beeped in the corner of Ruby's consciousness and the heat rose from the pavement; voices clamored as people, mostly students, traversed the main street outside of campus. The bustle was normally a source of pleasantry… but today, Ruby had a staggering headache. Summer was usually her favorite season, but this year, it was shaping up to be the worst time of the young student's life.

Looking up from her feet as the sun peeked out again, Ruby saw a striking young woman with snow-white hair walking with a taller blond man across the street. The woman turned to look at her and Ruby noticed a thin scar running up and down her left eye; it gave her an air of excitement, danger… and she was attractive, Ruby thought. The woman paused to stare at Ruby as the cars flew by; a bus with reflective tint rolled by, and Ruby briefly saw the mess of a person she had devolved into over the week and her eyes widened in shock. The bus rolled to a stop to her right; the woman and her counterpart had disappeared and Ruby groaned before making her way on the bus, swiping her student ID and plopping down in the back. Ruby took one last glance out the window to look for the pair she had seen to no avail and stuck her other earpiece in, cranking up the volume of her latest produced track on repeat. Ruby set her fingers in her jeans pockets; one hand wrapping around the knife in her right pocket and the other grasping a small pouch of dust in the left as she stared out the window. She had gone through a lot to make it to where she was, sitting on the 1233 line bus, each pocket lined with an item with the potential to save or kill. It was odd to think about; growing up, Ruby wanted nothing more than to be a well respected, highly decorated officer of the law, just like her mother.

The memories flooded up from her ankles and down her throat in a rush.

All of that changed the night her mother didn't come home, and the knocking on the door sounded instead of her mother's voice pleasantly calling out, "I'm back, Ruby!" That was the moment when she realized protecting stupid people who didn't deserve her mother's life given in service was stupid, foolish and not worth her time. What became worth her time consumed her; with her sister already slated to leave out of state for college, Ruby was left alone for two extremely... formative years of high school. Years that Ruby spent swiftly discovering the world's pleasures and vices, enjoying herself at cheap concerts and festivals with fake IDs, learning to enjoy a crew's company, another's company, preserving all but her 4.0 GPA and perfect attendance record. Her teachers took pity on the recently orphaned child and bought the excuses, lies, and half-baked tear sessions that passed the redhead through her senior year, finishing with a 2.3 and skipping her ACT and SAT appointments. Ruby shuddered in remembrance and her fingers brushed up against the plastic in her pocket again, bringing a smile to bury her memories alive; a smile came to her face as she realized that her four (or was it more?) days of agony were wrapping up today; finally, her suffering was over.

By the time Ruby was slated to get off of the bus, the sun had begun its descent in the sky and Ruby could feel her nose begin to twitch in anticipation. She'd gotten fired for a no-show from her last job, unfortunately, so she was working fast-food until she could pick up another barista job or, dust-willing, tutoring gig with some rich, bratty frat kid who couldn't handle university math and had cash to waste on a drugged out teenager barely making it through basic community college courses.

The smile that had begun to form on her face at the thought vanished as Ruby walked up to her first-floor apartment over in Southside Vale; her arms and hands shook as she pulled her lanyard off of her neck and inserted the key into her rattling door, pulling it open and pushing forward the screen. Ruby dumped her backpack on the floor and the lanyard onto the small entryway table she owned; it was one of her four pieces of furniture and one of the few things left over from her old place, along with her twin-size bed, a single bar stool and a torn leather couch. Ruby threw her shirt on said couch and slipped on her only luxury clothing item; a pair of fuzzy, twenty dollar house shoes.

Ruby didn't mind her humble existence. Besides, on her current budget, new furniture was out of the question if she wanted to both eat and fund her habit. Selling her laptop was even further out of the realm of possibility; producing music was the last thing in the world keeping her grounded, the last thing keeping her dreams alive. At least one good habit had come out of her tumultuous upperclassman years of high school.

Out went her pockets onto the kitchen counter; the knife landing first with a clicking noise up against the laminate and the bag of light blue dust plopping with a thud next to it. Ruby reached for the knife, but once it was in her hand, she spun it in practiced motions in a routine manner of hesitation. It was in this particular moment that Ruby felt all of her demons come forth from the recesses of her mind; her mother, her ex-boyfriend, her ex-girlfriends, plural, the ghost of a father she'd never met… all of it rushed forth and sat on ghost-like bar stools next to her, each wearing a disappointed look on their faces. Ruby's left hand twitched towards the bag and all of the eyes in the room moved and focused on her hand settling on the bag of dust.

What are you doing, Ruby?

What have you become?

So much potential, wasted. How could you do this?

The voices came faster and faster until Ruby heard her mother's voice speak quietly, silencing all of the other voices. It felt more real, and that's because it was; it was the line Ruby remembered with the most clarity, the one that always rationalized her decisions.

"Whatever it takes to make my baby happy." She couldn't have been more than eleven, but she remembered it like it was yesterday. Closing her eyes, she could just barely remember what it felt like to have her mother run her fingers through her light red hair; it always bleached brighter in the summertime.

Ruby sighed and opened her eyes to an empty, silent kitchen and slowly pressed the knife into the bag, slicing outwards and spilling out a small amount onto the countertop. Ruby opened a drawer, pulling out a large styrofoam cup from a gas station, a straw and a cheap motel key card. She covered the bag with the cup and slid it over to the corner of the counter, flipping her knife shut with the other hand absentmindedly. The rain pattered up against the windows as Ruby sorted the small pile of powder into two neat lines with the card, wiping it off on her tongue. The crystals tingled in her mouth, gently numbing her cheeks and the tip of her tongue and cooling the back of her throat. Ruby's nose twitched again and she inhaled in a rush before sneezing over her shoulder. Turning back to see her lines undisturbed, Ruby sighed in contentment before taking a deep breath and lining her straw up with her nose and the countertop.

I'm sorry, Mom.

Ruby snorted the first line up her left nostril and felt it travel down through the back of her throat, giving her entire esophagus a tingly feeling and leaving the left side of her nose completely numb. Her mind felt almost immediately at ease; partially due to the wonders of Dust and mostly due to the power of placebo. Sighing again, Ruby lined up the straw with right nostril and whispered softly to herself.

I'm sorry I couldn't do better.

It's all the same

You're pointing fingers but there's no one to blame

So you're snorting all these lines

Getting caved inside

What you reap, you sow

Now these drugs will never let you go

Screaming, "Hey hey"

Fuck that, take a hit and let's get blown

Cause I don't feel the pain no more

Cause I will never leave no more

And you get a little insecure

Ooh, let the drugs be the cure.

A/N: Image is not a product of my work. PM me for source or reverse image search, as links are not allowed here.

Intro bit. I have toyed with this premise for three years now and was inspired by the cover image to write a little ditty and see where it went from there.

Let me know what you think; r/f/f please.

-ken