Okay, this is my first fan fiction. Any thought or opinions please let me know =)

Edward....

My heart distorted with pain. Tears filled my eyes and I clung onto my bed sheets. The pain filled my chest and I continued to gasp for air. My hands twisting in pain; grasping onto anything that could create a pain to at least dim this pain filling my limbs. Rivers started flowing down my cheeks. I was broken, not even my sun could fix me. Jacob, my sun, my healer, my smile on a dim day. He was my saviour but he couldn't save me from this pain. I knew he wanted to, he wanted to be the one to save me from my misery. I wanted to save myself. I was sick of this pain filling me every night the sun would set when I was finally alone in the darkness of the night. But here I was, lying in my bed gasping and whimpering in pain.

I needed air. I clumsily fell off the bed and crawled my way over to the window sill. Once I reached the window sill, I pushed the window up with all the strength I had left. But with me being on the floor still had only allowed the window to reach half-way. I lifted myself up to slightly lean out the window. The strength I had left in my body gave out as I just managed to stick my shoulders out the window. So there I was now, half my body hanging out the window feeling the coldness close around. It reminded me of him.

I was thinking of him again. I hated myself for believing that I could avoid this pain forever. The coldness was now becoming an itch on my skin. I felt it drop several more degrees as the hours passed. I didn't know what time it was. I didn't care. I wanted to remain in this world of coldness as it reminded me of how he use to hold me when I slipped into my dreams. It also reminded me of the hugs I would get from the rest of the Cullens. I knew it wasn't safe for me to think of him or of any memories of us together or any of the other Cullens but I knew this memory was safe.

Goosebumps were beginning to appear on my arms and the tear stains on my face felt like ice. I closed my eyes in remembrance. I let myself linger on the moment. Then I thought I heard, in the distance, my name being called. I flung my eyes open and lifted my head up slightly to look up and down my empty street. That's when I notice the snowflakes slowly falling from the sky.

No wonder I was getting cold. I forgot winter was just beginning to set in Forks. But selfish Bella Swan had been too caught up in her own world. My eyes wandered the street once again, before I let my head relax hanging from window sill. I closed my eyes again, hoping that I would drift off into a mindless slumber hanging from the window sill. But just as before I heard someone call out my name in the distance. My imagination I guessed so I continued to ignore my name being called.

Then I heard it get louder and louder til the point it sounded like someone right outside the driveway. I slowly moved my head up to check once that it was my imagination. And there he was, Jacob. I felt my whole body jump with happiness, which confused me because this was Jake. I mean sure, everyone excited to see there best friend. But the feelings I felt didn't scream best friend. But I watch as Jake climbed my tree near my window and sat on the branches closest to me. But I swear, I thought the branch would give away with his size. He had filled up within the last couple months since his transformation.

He watched me curiosity and wonder as he tried to make himself comfortable on the branch. He flickered his brown eyes into mine; and I looked away as I knew he would know, he would know that I was thinking of him again and I was in pain. I saw sadness cloud his face. No! He was my sun, he was meant to make me feel better! But I couldn't face him, not yet anyway. He would question everything, to the position I was in, to the tear stain frozen upon my face. Still looking at the ground that slowly clouding up with white bliss.

"Jake...Could you please help me? Cause I'm kinda of stuck like this...You know if I try to move, I'll probably..."

The rest of my sentence faded away on my tongue as I watched Jake jumped onto my window sill to push my window up to it's full height. He then climbed through the window and disappeared in the darkness of my room. I felt two warm hands gently grabbed my hips which, strangely, sent shivers up my spine. Jake picked me up bridal style and laid me down on my bed. I felt his warm lips press a light kiss on my forehead. I felt his heat leaving me to the cold night stuck on my skin.

"Wait! Please don't leave yet"

I felt a spasm of cold shivers control my body. I saw Jake's small smile flash a light white in the darkness. The bed's weight jolted slightly but then resumed it's usually form. Jake's warm body was up against the side of mine and I shiver with warmth; the heat was overtaking my body again. I was sure that Jake was running his finger's through my brown locks. I locked my eyes with his chocolate-melting eyes. I wish I could love him like he loved me. I was selfish, no one should love me. He deserved someone better, someone better than me, someone who wasn't broken and didn't collapse in pain at the sound of their ex boyfriend's name.

"Why do you love me, Jake?" I probably sounded stupid but I wanted to know, why me?

His body heaved with a fresh breath of air and his eyes clouded over with thought. While I waited for his answer, I slowly wiped the frozen stains off my cheeks and flecks of snowflakes on my arms. Suddenly, I felt a warm pair of lips brush against my cheek bone. My heart jumped and started thumping like crazy like I had been running a marathon. I felt the warm lips slide up to my ear to slightly blow in it. My breathe became in pants and my mind was going as crazy as my body reactions.

What was he doing? How is this answering my question? Is he going to finally kiss me? My heart jumped a little harder in my chest. No! I scolded myself. I shouldn't be thinking these things. I still love...him. I only like Jake as a friend. Yeah, just as a friend, right?

But my thoughts began to stop as I felt the warm lips travel back down curve of my cheek bones. My heart thumped faster and harder in my chest and anticipation was beginning to eat away slowly in me. Jake's lips started making a slow trail on my cheeks towards my own lips. My mind went to fuzz, I couldn't think, it was like my mind had de-activated of something. I felt the warmness stop on my cheek, just a few centimetres away from my anxiously waiting lips. Jake put a slight pressure on the place his lips were and pulled away to look into my eyes.

"I love you Bella because you are Bella Swan and no one else. Your clumsy and beautiful at the same time. I love everything you do. I love it when you hug me, laugh, smile, tell me about your day, how you can handle a motocycle, how you manage to still be my best friend even though of what I am"

His eyes were light up with devotion and simply adoration towards me. But I noticed his eyes changed slightly when he said best friend. I knew it was another reminder of him wanting me to be more, but I ignore it. But I just didn't know for how long.

"But don't you want someone else?" I replied back.

"No, not ever." He said with confirmness and with that, he pressed his lips once again on my cheek. "I think you should sleep now, Bells"

I nodded as I felt sleep slowly taking over me for the last couple of hours. But I didn't want Jake to leave yet. I wanted him to stay a little bit longer.

"Jake, can you not leave til I at least fall asleep?" He smiled at me and nodded. I closed my eyes and felt his fingers to continuously run through my hair. My senses slowly started to dull and a felt my dreams take a hold of me. But just before I slipped into the bliss of slumber. I swear I felt Jake's warm lips press against my forehead and he whispered into my ear...

"Don't worry Bella, I won't leave you ever"