Tony sat up and stared around the room. God his head hadn't hurt this badly since he took the Japanese version of NCIS's agents out for saki bombs. Though he was pretty sure there hadn't been any saki involved this time.
He felt the bed shift next to him and he yelped and sprung out of bed. On his bed was a lump, the head was covered by his pillow but the covers did not cover the distinctively male ass.
Tony turned around and tried to think through the pounding in his head. Why was there glitter all over the place? Shit he was never going to rid of it. What had he seen on Facebook; glitter was the herpes of the crafting world.
A soft snore from his "bedmate" sent Tony into the bathroom. "God I smell like a damn mini bar. What the hell it's like that Katy Perry song."
Well mostly Tony thought, he didn't have a pool to be full of pink flamingos or a barbecue to be covered in Barbies, or Barbies to cover a barbecue with. Looking up in the mirror he yelped again at the dark mark on his neck. "Oh shit please let that be bruise."
"No no no... This is soooooo bad. Oh crap." Tony remembered the next line of the bad song and quickly hustled through his bedroom to his laptop. Flipping it open and searching he found what he was hoping he wouldn't.
There, online, was pictures of him, Abby, Jimmy, Tim, and even Ducky taking shots and yeah there was one of him and Abby on a tabletop. His co-workers laughing their asses off as four Metro police try to get them down.
"Oh please let there be a god and PLEASE let the warrants just be part of the song." Breaking a few rules Tony pulled up a site he wasn't suppose to look at except at work and sighed when he found nothing with anyone's names on it.
Letting his throbbing head fall back Tony tried to think. The last week had been hell. A missing little girl, a unattended natural death of a 41 year old man that looked suspicious but turned out to just be tragic, then a suicide and a distraught mother who's son had just been delayed to Afghanistan, though how that one had come to them when the kid was Army, Tony still didn't get. They had all ended up at a bar to let off some steam but now it was just a blur of drinks and shots. God had he actually done an Irish Car Bomb; they were as lethal as a saki bomb.
He did remember something about a kiss but only that lips had touched his last night. Why couldn't he remember? Who had he kissed? Considering the ass that was in his bed right now he couldn't even narrow it down by gender.
The cottonmouth feeling was superseding the pain in his head and it sent him in to the kitchen. The mess on the floor had him dropping his head to his chest.
There on the floor was his mini chandelier. Tangled with it a pair of boxers, he didn't need three guess to figure out who they belonged to. Though three guess wasn't going to be enough to get him the name of the owner.
Looking down he frowned more, his feet were dirty.
What, did they hear that inane song in the bar and decide to act it out? He wouldn't put it past Abby to try and get them to create their own Last Friday Night.
There was a part about an ménage Ā trios but he didn't remember any sex. The ass in bed could be Tim or Jimmy, he doubted it was Ducky. The ass was firmer than he would expect the older man's ass to be and the frame looked to tall. But even then it only ruled out one man out of thousands.
"God what am I going to tell Gibbs? Uh yeah boss need a day off because I need to call an electrician to replace the chandelier that I don't know how got knocked down but it had a pair of boxers in it. No not mine because well you know I go commando." Tony sighed and skirted the mess making it to his cupboard and sink. Drinking a large glass of water had his stomach doing flips and he hoped the water would stay. Waiting a few minutes he turned to the fridge and found one can of ginger ale. Sighing Tony popped the can open as quietly as possible, not up to waking his unknown guest. Taking a few small sips he was happy it stayed down and calmed his stomach.
What was he going to do? Traversing the scattered floor again Tony found his phone and found several texts from the rest of his team. They all made it home apparently, ruling out Tim or Jimmy as his partner. He dropped on to his couch, sticking to it instantly since he was as naked as he was when he woke up. Pulling the blanket off the back, Tony shoved it under his ass and flipped an edge over his lap.
Looking at the rest of the texts on his phone there was what looked to be cat calls from Abby about the hot stud he picked up. "Oh god Gibbs will kill me if I took home a stranger home, a male stranger." Tony never took people to his place, he always went to their place or a hotel and he never slept more than a few minutes but since it was well past dawn and sliding into late morning he had slept for quite a while.
Sighing again Tony got up and wrapped the blanket around his like a toga and went to the closet and retrieved the broom he clean the mess a little and made coffee. Maybe the smell would wake his "friend" up and he could move him along.
Lost in his thoughts Tony didn't hear the soft bare foot steps behind him until and a hand wrapped around his waist making him jump and spill water all over the counter. Turing around Tony screamed and dropped the carafe. Fortunate for him his partner caught it.
And Tony's brain really meant partner, because there in front of him was one Leroy Jethro, second B for bastard, Gibbs. Naked. In his kitchen. Naked. Holding a coffee carafe. Naked.
Had he mentioned Gibbs was naked.
"Yes Tony you mentioned I was naked. Four times in fact."
"Oh shit I said that out load?"
"Yes Tony."
"Why are you holding my coffee carafe in my kitchen naked, Gibbs?"
"Because you tried to drop it?"
"But I tried to drop it because you were in my kitchen naked."
"You seem to hung up on the naked part Tony. Do you want me to go out clothes on?"
"YES!" Tony screamed and pulled the carafe out of Gibbs hands.
Gibbs smiled his half grin and said, "Alright may have to borrow some of your sweats. Pretty sure you ripped my slacks last night."
Gibbs was down the hall before Tony could process the statement. Looking over at the pile of lighting he saw that the boxers were torn and Tony cringed.
He had torn his boss's boxers off of him. God what else had he done? Why was everything a blur? Even the night of the saki bombs he could remember the next day. It just hurt to, he had never been so drunk he blacked out.
Tony made coffee quickly and had a cup filled for Gibbs when he came back down the hall wearing Tony's OSU sweats.
"Do I still have a job?" Tony asked quietly.
"Why wouldn't you have a job Tony?"
"Well um I mean I I ...I don't know."
Gibbs chuckled.
Tony's head snapped up and the his eyes snapped shut at the sudden wave of nausea.
He heard movement but didn't dare open his eyes. When his stomach calmed down enough he opened them and found a trash can in front of him.
"How much of last night do you remember?"
"Gibbs I'm not up to twenty question."
"Not twenty just one."
"Nothing after the second round at Galway."
"Remember to never drink Irish Car Bombs then."
"How many did I drink?"
"We lost count at seven."
"Oh god."
"Pretty much.
"Wait we?"
"I showed up when Liam called and said my team was there looking to get hammered including Ducky."
"Oh god. Just tell me what happened."
"Liam called about nine. I got there about nine thirty. You each had had one ICB and couple rounds of shots and had another round of ICB's ordered. I watched for a bit but went to the head and that was when you and Abby thought it would be a good time to get on the table. Two minutes Dinozzo, two that how long I was gone."
Tony tried to shrink in his chair but waited out the story. He had to get to the part that lead to Gibbs naked in his bed, boxers tangle in what was once his chandelier, hugging him in his kitchen still naked.
"I'll get to that Tony."
"Why can't I keep a thought a thought this morning?"
"Still drunk." Gibbs offered but continued, "as soon as I came out I saw Metro hassling you, I got them to stand down so long as I promised to heard you all home. Abby was actually the easiest. One of the sister happened to be there for Fish Fry Friday and offered to accompany Abby in a cab and make sure she got into her apartment safe."
Tony vaguely remember something about trying to trying to tell nun jokes to a nun. He'd bit his tongue the whole time he was thinking that so he hoped in had stayed a thought. When Gibbs didn't comment he guessed it had worked.
"I figured Ducky would be easy but no, I ended up calling Vance."
Tony groaned. The director knew about last night?
"Yes Tony, Leon knows."
Shit he hadn't bitten his tongue that time.
Tony put his hand over his mouth and leaned heavily on his elbows.
Gibbs just smirked and continued, "Jimmy and Tim agreed to go straight home to Breena. I got a call from her saying they arrived in one piece and Tim passed out on the couch as soon as she sat him down on it. I brought you home and tried to pour you into bed. That uh didn't work well."
Gibbs let the thought sit as he nodded towards the pile of metal in the corner. He had been mostly sober and he still couldn't figure out how the light had ended up on the floor.
Tony waited Gibbs out but it was hard.
"Did you know that when your drunk you can't tell? You don't slur your words. You don't stager. You're not clumsy. Nothing."
"No?"
"Nope but you are one of the horninest, handsy people I've ever met."
Tony dropped his head onto the table and groaned at the added pain. "How did we end up naked in bed together Boss?"
Gibbs smiled, though Tony couldn't see it with his head still on the table. "I kissed you."
Tony's head shot up and his stomach mostly stayed put. "You kissed me?"
Gibbs's smile was wicked. It was the only word Tony could think of. He had clenched his jaw and knew again he had managed to keep a thought to himself.
"Yes Tony." Gibbs leaned in and in Tony's ear sang, "I kissed a boy and I liked it."
Tony groaned. What had they done to his boss. They had him quoting Katy Perry songs.
"You didn't do anything Dinozzo."
And again he failed... "Gibbs."
"Jethro."
Tony looked at his boss with raised eyebrows.
"Tony I've had my cock up your ass. Pretty sure that moves you from Gibbs to Jethro."
Tony whimpered. He'd had dreams about Gibbs for years and the first time it happens he to drunk...wait a minute.
"There's no way you fucked me last night, Jethro."
"Really?"
"Yeah Jethro. I know you to well. You would never have taken advantage of me in that fucked up of a state."
Gibbs sat back in the chair and waited to see if he could out bluff his SFA. Tony did squirm but stuck to his revelation.
"Alright we didn't actually have sex last night or well this morning. But it wasn't for lack of trying. Something about seeing you streak across your apartment buildings lawn..."
Tony dropped his head back to the table...never again would he drink Guinness, Jameson, and Baileys.
"No one saw but me. Come on let's go back to bed, neither of us have had enough sleep yet."
"Together?" Tony squeaked.
"Yeah Dinozzo. Slept together all morning and I kind of enjoyed it." Gibbs stood and pulled Tony up and down the hall with him, but pushed him past the bed and into the bathroom.
Tony didn't understand until Gibbs handed him his toothbrush. Tony blushed and brushed his teeth while Gibbs used the toilet, once he was they traded places and tasks.
Walking out into the bedroom Tony wondered if he would ever stop blushing.
"It's okay Tony. If you want I'll bunk on the couch."
"I didn't say that out load again did I?"
"No but it's not hard to guess why your blushing."
"I uh I don't um remember..." Of course he didn't remember, wasn't that why Gibbs had been telling him about the night before.
"Tony it's fine."
"No it's I just I've never ..."
"Tony last night you told me you'd been with men before."
"No I ha...ve I have never sle..pt with a man before."
"Tony you've never slept, got it. You've had sex before but never went to sleep with one before." Gibbs said understanding now. "You broke that record this morning Tony. You slept with me, once I got you corralled in your room that is."
Tony nodded once and sat down on the side of the bed he had woken up on. Laying down on his side facing the wall he waited for Gibbs to lay down. When he did Tony squeaked again because Gibbs slid in right behind him and draped his arm over Tony's waist.
"Shush and go to sleep. This was the only way I could get you to lay still last ...this morning."
There was no way Tony was going to be able to sleep like this he already felt like he was going to have a heart attack. But then Gibbs fingers started tracing random patterns on his hip bone and his heart settled and his mind mellowed. Before he could think about it he was asleep.