Beyond the Pale Contest
Title: Crimson Love
Pen Name: Dazzled_Masochistic_Lamb
Characters: Bella/Edward (Very, VERY OOC)
Summary: Sometimes love is darker. More crimson.
Image that Inspired You: Seventeen
Disclaimer: Meyers' Bella would be appalled by this and her Edward would have me committed to the same place Alice was locked up in. Jasper would run away from the bad vibes, Rosalie would...she wouldn't give a damn. Emmett would laugh and then ask to arm wrestle me. But Carslise and Esme would want to adopt me and fix all my problems.
Obviously this is fiction and I don't own anything.
Warnings: Very dark imagery, violence, and graphic sexual content. This is not fluffy at all, people.
Thank you: To Tammy for being the first person to brave this monster and giving me awesome feedback. To my PTB (sbsp92 and SecretlySeverus) betas for the amazing help and encouragement. If anything is amiss, it's entirely my fault.
The first thing that struck me was the color. It was darker, less clear than I expected it to be. More crimson. In movies and on television, blood is always this bright, vivid red. The color of a harlot's lips with an almost watery consistency.
I stared at my trembling hands, coated to the wrists in deep burgundy. Blood was sticky and thick as well, seeping into crevices in your skin. All I could smell was the stench of iron and it made my stomach roll.
"Oh God..." I moaned, squatting down on my heels and rocking back and forth. I didn't even realize I was gripping my hair until I tried to pull away and felt the sticky resistance. It wasn't so much that I could see the blood; I could feel it. I let my head fall to one knee, choking on the sob that tried to leave my throat.
I'd warned her, I'd told her that he was mine, but she just didn't listen. It didn't have to come to this. Why couldn't she have just left us alone? I didn't want to hurt her, but she'd left me no choice.
I'd never even been in an honest to God fight before now. I'd always the passive one, never wanting to cause conflict. Until I'd met Edward.
He was the most beautiful man I'd ever laid eyes on. Copper hair and green eyes, tall, lean—perfect. He'd been in a few of my classes and he was certainly a distraction. He was smart without being cocky, witty without being a clown. He loved music and was always listening to his iPod before classes. He knew the answers when called, but didn't show off.
I had loved him almost instantly. My heart rate would spike when we'd lock eyes and his voice sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
But she wanted him, too. Of course, she was gorgeous. Legs for miles and breasts that entered the room before she did. Every guy in class watched her come and go, even him. She wasn't all that bright and her laugh sounded more like a child than the grown woman she was. She flirted and batted her eyelashes and it annoyed me that no one could see beyond the exterior. She was just window dressing. Something pretty to look at; but nothing of actual substance.
I'd seen her making eyes at him, crossing her legs to make her skirt slide up just this side of indecent. And he'd looked, eyes darting quickly to and away, but I'd noticed it anyway. Still, I didn't worry over it too much. I knew that all men looked at other women occasionally and it didn't mean anything.
It didn't stop her from making up horrible things about him in the ladies room. She'd claimed to have had him in her bed. That he'd had hands of gold and a tongue as quick as a snake's. She told whoever would listen that he 'fucked her like a goddamn caveman against the wall' of her dorm room. She was vulgar and tasteless in her descriptions of my sweet, caring Edward.
I'd seen red. Literally saw myself covered in her blood, screaming at her for being a lying, conniving whore. She would NOT taint Edward with her filth. I wouldn't stand for it.
I defended him that day, telling the whole room that Edward would never be with someone like her. That he cared for me and could see right through her facade. She'd laughed in my face, calling me a 'stupid little girl with delusions of grandeur'. She'd said Edward thought I was sweet and that they'd had a good chuckle over my 'crush'.
I knew she was lying. He'd never say that about me. He was too kind and too much of a gentleman to kiss and tell. And we had kissed and so much more.
I wasn't invited to many parties, but a friend of a friend had reluctantly asked me to come along. When I saw Edward amongst the crowd, looking a little out of place and uncomfortable, it felt like kismet. Of all the parties in the world...
I mustered up the courage to speak to him, somehow managing not to stutter or slur. The mixed drink I'd been sipping on helped to ease my nerves. When he spoke his voice was smooth, his smile a little crooked as we awkwardly flirted over the noise. He made a joke and I laughed, a little high-pitched and definitely girly.
We were standing close to the stairway when someone bumped into me and sent me stumbling into his chest. His warm hands were strong as they steadied my waist, fingers giving me a small squeeze. He smelled wonderful, clean and crisp with just a hint of cinnamon. I think I told him he was beautiful, and he laughed lightly.
He grasped the hand that was lying on his chest and pulled me into the dimly lit hallway. The bulb flickered slightly, casting deep shadows over his face every few seconds. I stared up at him, confused but happy to be with him nonetheless.
I felt his hand sweep a strand of my hair behind my ear as he whispered, "I'm going to hell for this...too innocent." His lips claimed mine and I was lost to the sensation. The sounds coming from the party were muted by my thundering heartbeat.
Being kissed by Edward was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. Even the little sex I'd had with an old boyfriend didn't compare to the sensation Edward caused with just his lips on mine. I wasn't that experienced, but I knew enough to know true chemistry when I felt it.
I cried out, the sound muffled as his tongue slid and tangled with mine. He pressed closer to me, one hand behind my neck and the other sliding just underneath the bottom of my shirt, running along the heated skin of my stomach.
He pulled back, smirking at me and nodding his head to the room down the hall. There was no second guessing, no hesitation. I wanted Edward the second I laid eyes on him and I knew this was our moment.
As soon as the door shut behind us, Edward pulled at my shirt. My head got caught for a moment and we both chuckled nervously. But as soon as his hands were back on my skin, all thoughts of laughter flew away. He was magnetic, making me feel as if I were crackling with energy just under the surface. I never felt such passion.
I kissed him harder than I meant too, our teeth clicking. "Easy, baby..." The endearment flowed off his tongue, causing me to blush. His eyes locked on mine, his hands sliding up my torso and cupping my breasts.
I fell into him, exhilarated by his touch. He turned us, pushing me down on the bed and crawling over me. His eyes locked with mine as he reached behind him with both hands and pulled his shirt free. There was just enough light in the room that I could make out the definition of his chest and stomach. He wasn't overly muscular, but toned and carved in places that made my mouth water. He caught me staring and cocked his eyebrow, his hand trailing down his own chest, running his fingers down the thin line of hair and stopping when he hit the waistband of his jeans. I whimpered.
"Down worry, baby, I'll show you anything you want to see, but first...this needs to go." He took one finger, lazily following the cups of my bra. He brushed a nipple, sending a shock through me and making me gasp. "Mmm, like that?" He applied more pressure and my hips raised without my permission as a moan left my throat. He leaned down, copper flooding my vision, and opened his mouth against me. Teeth nipped and pulled, and then I felt the quick flick of his tongue.
"Edward!" As soon as his name left my lips, his closed around my nipple and sucked. I gripped his hair, holding him to me as I twisted up against him. My other breast was quickly engulfed in his hand, both fingers and teeth twisting almost painfully. I panted and cried out his name over and over. It had never been this good.
"I bet I could make you come, just like this, couldn't I?" His voice deepened, and his eyes gleamed with masculine power. I blushed deeply at his words, but I couldn't argue with them. I was so very close and I didn't think it would take much more. I wanted him so badly, for so long, that every little touch sent me reeling.
Then his mouth and hands were gone and I felt the cold air hit and chill my skin. One hand sunk into my hair, pulling me up roughly to meet his mouth as his other unsnapped my bra so fast I almost didn't realize it was gone. He nipped at my lips, groaning when our naked chests touched.
He pulled away, his eyes falling to my breasts and a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He watched his own fingers toy with my nipples, delighting in my reaction. I moaned, arching into his hands and moving my hips against him. I wanted more.
"Ohh...my..." I gasped as he trailed one hand down my stomach, swirling his index finger around my belly button. He didn't stop. He tugged and pulled at the snap of my jeans, the zipper sliding down easily.
"Lift up..." He tapped my hip and I quickly moved to obey him, "Atta, girl." My pants were gone almost as fast as my bra. Edward licked his lips, his fingers toying with the waistline of my panties.
Slide, tug, slide—over and over again until I begged him to do something, anything. He chuckled at my impatience, leaning down to press his lips over the column of my throat. I felt the sharp sting of his teeth against the tender flesh and I cursed.
"Sweet...I knew it." I didn't have time to wonder what he meant, because in the next instant he was pulling away again and reaching for his own pants.
I wanted to help him. I wanted to touch him, act coy and seductive. But all I could do was watch. My body refused to listen to my brains urge to act and I stared in wonder as inch by inch of him was revealed to me.
I took the time to drink him all in. From the smattering of hair, to the roped lines that formed a 'v' into his abdomen. From the pale color of his skin to the way his hip bones seemed to accentuate his slight build. He was even more beautiful than I'd imagined.
I opened my mouth to tell him so, but he stopped me with a sharp tug to my panties and his mouth crashing against mine. There was an urgency now, a rush to his movements and I eagerly met his pace.
I don't know how either of us ended up naked. I didn't register the exact moment it happened, only the heat of his body as it hovered above mine. The press of his knees against the mattress between my legs and the grasp of his hand against the pillow beneath my head.
His kisses were hungry and his breathing sharp and fast against my lips. I kissed him back, pushing even harder, demanding more. I was finally with him and I wasn't willing to waste a moment of it.
I wasn't expecting much more than for him to thrust into me. It's how it had been before. But I should have known Edward would be different.
His finger slid easily down the length of my sex and he growled as he felt just how ready for him I was. How much I wanted him.
"So fucking wet. Bet you're tight too, huh, baby? Let's see..." He dipped his finger inside me and we both grunted at the feeling. "Goddammit...you're going to feel so good on my cock." He pulled back, two fingers replacing the one from before and his thumb moving to rub circles around my clit.
His touch wasn't too hard or too soft. He kept me balanced perfectly between "too much" and "not enough." I tried to move his hand, away or closer I wasn't sure, but he grasped it in his and pulled it up to the bed frame. He pressed my fingers around the metal, squeezing my hand as a sign for me to keep hanging on. The faster he went, the tighter I gripped. His mouth fell to my breasts again and he took my nipple inside, teeth biting and tongue flicking.
It was sensation overload. He curled his fingers in and the sound that left my lips was beyond anything I even knew I could make. I should have been embarrassed; instead I arched closer and begged for more. "Please, please...oh God, Edward, please!"
"You gonna come on my fingers, baby? Get my whole hand wet with you?" He breathed the words against my neck, sliding his way up to my mouth and dipping his tongue inside. I panted against his lips, our tongues teasing each other. "Come on, sweetheart, I want to feel it." His thumb pressed harder and I felt the coil snap.
I shattered underneath him, my hips undulating, pulling so hard on the headboard that it groaned under the pressure. I couldn't catch my breath to do more than mumble his name over and over. My breasts heaved and my nipples ached. I felt pleasure at every point and the sound of Edward's growl at the sight of me coming undone for him only heightened the experience.
"Fuck, baby, how long have you needed that? I've never seen anyone come that hard; it was hot as hell. But I'm curious..." His head dipped, kissing his way down my chest. He kept going, running his tongue lazily around my navel and tracing over my hips.
I heard him inhale deeply right before his head disappeared between my thighs. I could feel the blush all the way to my toes, which curled into the sheets beneath me.
There wasn't a part of me that his tongue didn't explore. He circled it slow and hard against my clit, then just as I would start to moan, he'd move his head lower and dip his tongue inside me. He wrapped his arms around my thighs, his fingers digging into the skin as he pulled me closer to his mouth. I slid against the sheets, one hand still gripping the headboard.
He had me stretched out, my body bowed and pulled tight. I held steel in one hand and copper in the other, pulling hard against the strands. I usually kept my eyes closed tight during sex, always feeling embarrassed about my pleasure. But I wanted to see this-Wanted to see Edward between my legs, tongue working.
I looked down and gasped when my eyes locked onto his. He was watching me as he worked me and I moaned at the thought. He gave me a wink and then I felt his fingers back inside me as he drove his tongue hard against my clit.
My second orgasm hit me fast and unexpectedly. I cried out, my hand slipping out of his hair and my palm slapping against the mattress. "Edward...Edward...oh my God." My head was spinning and my whole body throbbed.
I was still trying to catch my breath when I felt his mouth slide up my neck. I tried to turn my head away, but Edward's hand came up fast, holding me steady and unmoving. He blatantly licked his lips as I watched and I felt myself blush. "You ever taste yourself, baby?" I shook my head rapidly, my breathing accelerating at the thought. "Mmm, let me show you what you've been missing." He didn't give me a chance to protest, his mouth covering mine and his tongue slipping inside. Instinct made me want to move away, but Edward just kept his hold and worked his tongue over mine.
He pulled away and it was my turn to lick my lips. Edward groaned and I felt him twitch against my hip as he whispered, "Good? More?" This time I pulled him down to me and claimed him. It was my tongue invading his mouth and searching out our combined tastes. He was right, it was so very good. We really were perfect together.
As we kissed, I heard the tell-tale sound of crinkling plastic and felt myself clinch. This was really going to happen. Edward pulled away, breathing fast as he slid the condom over his length. I shyly reached out after he was covered, gripping him and sliding my hands slowly up and down. He grunted, his hand covering mine, tightening for a moment and then pulling us both away.
"You start that, baby, and I won't ever get inside you. And that's just not fucking happening." Pride washed over me and I smiled up at him, making him grin back.
"You want me." It should have been obvious earlier, but maybe I was too distracted to really take it in. Edward Cullen wanted me.
"Really fucking badly right now..." He slipped one hand underneath my thigh and pulled it over his hip, pressing into me quickly. I couldn't stop the gasp as he filled me and he groaned in response. "Jesus Christ!"
It felt like he was everywhere. His mouth on my neck, his fingers digging into my skin, and his cock hitting deeper than anyone had ever been. He moved my hips the way he wanted, pointing them up and making my eyes roll at the pleasure. "Ohh, oh God..."
I moved with him as best as I could, but it felt so good I couldn't concentrate. Our rhythm would falter a bit, but Edward always picked it right back up. I slid my hands over his slick chest and up over his shoulders and into his sweaty hair. I pulled his mouth to mine, but we were both breathing too hard to do more than press fleeting kisses to each other's lips.
He started to sit up and I was confused until he pulled me with him. He settled me firmly on top of him and when he thrust up into me I squeaked.
"Yeah?" He asked, his hips rolling up as he pushed me back down. I moved on instinct, my hands gripping his shoulders as I followed his lead and pressed down. "Good girl, just like that," Edward praised, one hand flexed against my back and holding me steady, the other twisting into my hair.
My thighs trembled over him, every inch of my body felt as if it was on fire. His words were only adding fuel to the flames.
"You look so good riding my cock, baby. Fucking tightest pussy I've ever...shit...you need to come. Want you to come on my cock, soak it like you did my fingers and tongue."
Thrust. Whisper. Tug. Scream.
I came hard, rolling my hips sporadically against his as he groaned in approval. I barely had time to come down before he pulled out and spun me around. He was quickly back inside me, slamming into me from behind. I'd never experienced sex like this and I gasped in shock at just how deep he went.
The sounds coming from Edward were feral and I could feel him begin to twitch inside me. The bed shook with the force of his movements and it was all I could do to keep myself propped up. I reached for the headboard again, gripping it to stay in place.
Edward's hand slid down over my hip and I shivered when I felt his fingers brush over his cock inside me, getting his fingers slick before pressing them hard against my clit. "Can you come again, baby? Let me make you feel good again. You feel so fucking good when you squeeze my cock as you come. Tighter than anything." I whined, it was almost too much, but I wanted it too. I wanted to make him feel just as good as I did.
"Edward!" My throat burned as I groaned out his name one more time and fell over the edge. His pace quickened and his rhythm faltered.
"Fuck, fuck, FUCK. Baby...goddamn...baby, baby, baby." He snarled and swore, jerking and releasing. I felt the sharp sting of his fingers as they gripped my hips. I liked it.
He was panting as he pulled out and disposed of the condom. He tugged on my arm and rolled me to my side, pressing me back against him. I smiled and threaded my fingers through his. He placed a kiss against my temple and whispered good night.
My heart slowed and I swore it seemed to slip right in line with Edward's. It didn't matter that there were no words of love between us tonight. I could feel it there in his kiss and in the heat of his touch. No one had ever made me feel so alive.
I would do anything to keep this feeling. To keep Edward.
I felt my lips curving into a smile as I replayed our time together. It wasn't until I brought my fingers to my lips, remembering all of his kisses, that I was forced back into reality. The blood was mostly dried now, but the smell hit me and I jerked my hand away.
"Ed...wa.." The sound of his name hit me like a punch and I felt the rage flow over me again in waves. I pushed myself up, the gravel hot under my hands as I moved towards the sound. I leaned over her and sneered. Not so gorgeous now, was she?
"You don't get to say his name, whore. I told you he was mine, but you just couldn't listen, could you? You had to toss your perfect fucking hair and bounce your perfect fucking tits in his face and now look what you've done! I don't blame him. You taunted him, teased him, he's only a man. He could only take so much. I forgive him for his moment of weakness. I know he's better than the rest of them." I snarled, poking her in the chest with each point.
I was just getting myself all sticky again. She was covered in her own blood and fresh little streams of it oozed from her wounds. Wounds I'd inflicted.
If she'd just kept her mouth shut, none of this would have happened. I was willing to overlook their tryst, even though the sight of them locked in a heated kiss would forever be locked in my memory. He'd been sweeter with me, I was sure of it.
But no, she'd just had to tell everyone that he was with her and that he'd used me because he knew he could. She'd told everyone how they both knew how I felt about him and he'd gotten drunk and couldn't help but take advantage of the situation.
It wasn't like that. He was just shy, embarrassed that we had been consumed by the heat of the moment. That's why he looked away when our eyes met in class and that was why he always seemed out of sorts when I lingered around him. Edward was a gentleman; he would never use me that way.
"He's kind and good, not like you. Running your disgusting, lying mouth to anyone that will listen. Why couldn't you just leave us alone? Couldn't you tell that he was just worried about how fast things had happened between us? He was going to come back to me, I just know it. Then you moved in, putting your dirty little hands all over what belonged to me. I was meant to be with him, not you!" I seethed, pulling her head up by her hair. It bothered me that it was almost the shade of Edward's now, the red mixing with the golden blonde.
"He'll be so happy that I saved him from the likes of you. You'd break his heart in a million pieces if given the chance. I can't let that happen." I released her hair and she didn't even cry out when her head harshly met the pavement.
I raked my eyes over her and shivered a little at what I saw. I had been crazed with anger and I truly hadn't even registered the knife in my hands until I had already slid it across her face. She'd panicked, turning her back on me and trying to flee. Her hair, her beautiful long hair, was just the perfect length to wrap my hands around and pull her back to me.
They make slitting someone's throat on television look so easy. It's not; and it's noisy, too.
I hadn't cut too deep, she could still speak. It brought her down though, clasping and clutching at the wound and leaving her back defenseless.
Someone should have told her never to turn her back on an enemy. Having a policemen for a father paid off sometimes.
It took some strength to retract the knife time and time again, but I managed. I was doing this for Edward and that thought alone gave me the drive I needed to get through it. I hated blood, hated violence, but I hated the thought of her ruining him more.
"You could have walked away, Tanya. You knew how I felt about him, you knew we could have been happy together if just given the chance, but you couldn't stand the fact that I had him when you didn't. It didn't have to be this way, but I'm not sorry." Her eyes held mine for a moment, and then rolled back into her head. She would get no sympathy from me.
"Pl..lease...don't wan...die." Her voice was weak now, breath stuttering and stopping. I shook my head, pitying her attempt at trying to beg me for her life. She should have thought about that before she fucked him.
"It's too late for that now. Pray, maybe God will forgive you for your sins. I won't." I brushed a strand of hair back from her face, a dark line following my fingers across her cheekbone.
Her breaths were getting fewer and farther between; it wouldn't be long now. The blood flow was much slower now. I watched as her fingers flexed against the asphalt, stretching towards me. I huffed, moving just out of her reach. I didn't want any more of her on me than necessary.
There was a choking gasp from her and then silence. Her eyes went dim, but they were still wide open and seemingly staring straight at me in horror. I didn't like it. I pushed my fingers against her eyelids and tried to shut them. It only partially worked and the effect was even creepier.
God, death wasn't pretty at all. Tanya was a complete mess from head to toe and I almost felt bad for whoever found her.
"Finally...we're free. We can be together now, Edward." I whispered, smiling brightly at the idea. I'd dealt with the obstacle in our path and now there wasn't anything stopping us.
I stood up, brushing the dirt and loose gravel from my jeans as I went. I gave Tanya's body a push with my foot and grimaced when I got blood on my shoelace. Dammit, I was never going to get all these blood stains out.
"Goodbye, Tanya. Don't worry, Edward's in good hands now." I gave her a little wave, turning quickly and heading towards my car parked on the sidewalk. Really, Tanya's nasty coke habit worked in my favor. I'd followed her and as soon as the scumbag that supplied her took off I'd attacked. I'd left the stash of cocaine in her pocket, of course.
That stuff was dangerous and I didn't want it anywhere near me.
I opened my trunk and pulled out the cardigan stashed there. I looked around quickly and not seeing anyone, I pulled my over-shirt off and tossed it into the car. I straightened out my tank top and was happy to find it blood-free. I slid the cardigan on. Nice and presentable now. I looked at my hands and frowned. I needed to take care of that.
"Where are they...I know I left...oh there!" I located the bottles of water in the backseat that I always made sure to carry. My car wasn't the most reliable vehicle and I was never sure just when I might need a little water.
I got busy, pouring water over first one hand and then the other. It was difficult to get the older blood off one-handed, but I managed. It took several bottles; I'd have to remember to replace them soon.
I remembered the little bit I'd gotten in my hair and cupped my hand full of the last bit of water, rinsing the strands out thoroughly. My jeans had a couple of bloody spots, but the blood was so dark now I could pass it off as dirt. No one would be looking that closely anyway.
As I drove back to campus, I couldn't help but feel anxious to see Edward again. It was wonderful to know I wouldn't have to worry about that tramp hanging all over him anymore, but I was also a little nervous. Things between us were still awkward. It was a shame we were both so shy and quiet.
As luck would have it, as I was crossing the quad I happened to catch a familiar glimpse of copper. I couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face. I had to stop myself from walking too quickly in his direction.
I could smell the pungent stench of cigarette smoke as I made my way over and I knew that his friend Jasper must be there with him. Which meant his other friends would be there as well. I wasn't a really big fan of the crowd he hung around with, but he was just so nice to everyone that he couldn't help making friends with all different types. Even the less desirable ones.
"Goin' to Tanya's tonight?" I glared as one of the girls he hung out with asked. She was almost as slutty as Tanya, but she was less obvious about it.
"Maybe, maybe not." Edward's voice sounded bored and it struck me as odd. Why would he be going to see her?
"You fuckin' dog...who else you got on the line? That brown-haired chick that makes puppy-eyes at you?" Emmett cackled and I felt my anger rising as the rest joined him. Even...no. It couldn't be.
"Fuck you, asshole. That was one time and I'm still pissed at all of you for not stopping me. I knew she'd get all fuckin' weird and shit, but..." I felt my stomach turn as he joked, the smirk obvious in his voice.
"Pussy is pussy?" Emmett laughed, but turned it into a cough when he caught sight of me. I could feel the tears threatening to fall, but I dug my nails into my hand to try to stop them. He hit Edward and nodded his head in my direction.
They all turned to stare at me and the one they called Alice actually looked sorry for me. Edward looked horrified. His green eyes locked on mine, his mouth opening and closing rapidly as he tried to think of something to say.
"Don't...just don't. I thought you were different, Edward." I sniffed, wrapping my arms around my waist and rocking slightly.
"Um, listen...I'm really sorry. I didn't mean...you're a sweet girl. I shouldn't have...um..." He stammered, one hand running through his hair and gripping it tightly.
"Honey, you should just walk away now. He doesn't even remember your name. Save yourself some dignity, sweetie." The blonde bitch that dressed almost as scandalous as her tossed me a small smirk as she spoke the words that hurt more than anything else could have.
"Rosalie, goddammit..you're...unbelievable! God, I'm sorry..." Edward looked truly troubled and I knew then that it'd all been a lie. I'd just imagined that he'd felt the spark between us.
"Bella. My name is Bella!" I yelled. I wiped angrily at the tears and watched as they all flinched. I had never spoken to any of them except for Edward and I could tell that my outburst startled them. I dug my fingers into my hands, trying desperately to control my anger. I didn't want him to see me like this. No one was supposed to see me lose control.
"Bella. Look, I don't really know what to...shit...what I mean is..." Edward couldn't seem to find the right words. He'd been charismatic and charming when we'd been together. He'd known just what to say that night, but now he couldn't even form a simple apology.
My head was spinning and I could feel my heart hammering away in my chest. I kept hearing Tanya's choked pleas over and over again, begging for her life. I shook my head to try and clear it, noticing the worried look on Edward's face as I let out a whimper.
"Dude, she's freaking out...you need to make her sit down." Jasper called out, his voice sounding distorted and wavy to my ears. I felt warm, slightly calloused hands wrap around my arms and lead me to one of the hard benches that dotted the campus. I knew it was Edward comforting me and that thought alone was almost enough to stop the anxiety.
"I thought you liked me, Edward. I don't sleep around and I didn't think you did either. I just thought you were shy about it all and then she had to go running her fucking mouth about how the two of you were screwing behind my back and I just couldn't handle it! God, Edward, she was saying the most disgusting things about you when you weren't around. She was just using you for sex and you deserve so much better than that. I wanted to give you that..." I bit my lip as I looked up at Edward. He looked more than a little confused about everything I had said.
"Look, Bella, I think you're a nice girl. I'm just not looking to date anyone. I'm not with Tanya, either. I'm sorry you thought differently. I had no idea she was talking to you about...everything. I'm going to talk to her about that. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want." He looked pained, worried about how I would handle the news.
I just smiled, bent down, touched the still bloody shoe-lace and grinned. "You'll come to your senses soon enough, Edward. And I'll be waiting for you, because you are supposed to be with me. I can feel it in here..." I tapped my chest, right above my heart as I smiled sweetly at him.
Edward's eyes widened with just a touch of fear before he got a hold of his emotions. Which was silly! I could never harm my Edward. He started to move back towards his group of friends, awkwardly waving to me as he went. I returned the gesture and gave him what I hoped was a soothing smile. He didn't need to worry. Everything would work out in the end.
I'd just have to be patient. He might not see it yet, but I knew we were made for one another. I might not be with him now, but I damn sure could keep all the other dirty sluts out to get him away. I let my hand fall into my purse and smiled when it hit the knife's leather sheaf. Yes, I would keep them all in line. I'd made a mistake with Tanya and assumed that Edward wouldn't fall for her tricks. It was one I didn't ever plan on repeating.
I stood in the sidelines, waiting for my time to shine. There were a few girls that tried to chase after him, but most of them scared pretty easily. I had to be careful though. I didn't want Edward figuring out what I was doing.
When they found Tanya's body, the whole campus lit up with rumors. It was assumed she'd gotten in with the wrong crowd and paid the price, what with the drugs and all. Edward took the news harder than I expected. He even brought flowers and placed them on her desk in class. The murmured whispers about him grieving for his "girlfriend" enraged me. I wanted to shout that Tanya had been nothing but a lying slut who'd gotten what she deserved, but I didn't want to upset Edward any further. At the least, he'd been friendly with the whore and it was only natural to feel sad when someone you knew died.
It took a while, but Edward finally started acknowledging me again. The awkwardness between us faded just enough for him to smile or wave if he saw me around. I could feel the hope stirring. Was this it? Were we finally going to have our chance to be together?
I felt so happy I wanted to share the news with someone. It was too good to keep to myself. I rushed after classes were over to find the one person I truly wanted to tell.
"He's coming back to me! I can see it in his eyes that he knows the truth now. We're made for each other and I think he realizes his mistake. I told you he had feelings for me. I told you that when you were out of the picture he would turn to me. You see, you had to die, Tanya. You had to die to make him see how utterly wrong you were for him. He could have never been happy with a tramp like you. I saved him from that and if he knew...if he knew he'd thank me for what I did." I smiled, brushing my fingers over the carved letters of her name.
An angel has returned to Heaven.
What a crock of shit. Heaven would never allow a dirty, drugged out whore into its doors. I rolled my eyes at the headstone and turned to walk away. I felt my heart lurch as I caught sight of the one thing I'd never expected to see.
Copper. Edward.
"It was you. You killed Tanya." His voice cracked and the flowers he held in his hand fell to the ground as he stumbled back.
"I couldn't let her have you, Edward. You're meant to be with me. Can't you feel it?" I took a step towards him and he moved even further away.
"Stay the fuck away from me! You're crazy. You killed an innocent person and for what? Me? Us? There is NO us!" He was frantic, his voice screeching and his hands waving wildly. "Oh, God, Tanya...she didn't deserve this."
"Don't you dare defend her to me! I had you first! You were with me and she just had to try and take you away from me. I couldn't allow that, Edward. I told her to leave you alone, but she wouldn't listen. She gave me no choice! So, yes, I killed her. I stabbed her over and over. I watched her die. I washed her fucking blood off my hands and I did it all for you! I love you, Edward." I tried to reach out to him, to touch him and let him feel just how much I meant those words, but he yanked away from me.
It happened so fast, I didn't have time to react. He went down quickly, his foot catching on a small headstone. There was a sickening thud and he let out a startled moan on impact. I heard a scream and it took me a moment to figure it all out.
The scream was mine as I fell to my knees and made my way over to him. I cradled his head, stroking his hair and yelling his name over and over. I shook him, I pleaded for him to be okay. But I knew there was no use. My Edward was gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I lost track of the time as I held him and sobbed.
My hands were once again covered in blood, the metallic smell burning and twisting at my stomach. His copper was now bronze, streaked with bright red. His eyes were open and staring, but I couldn't close them. I pulled his head to mine and kissed his lips, tears spilling down my cheeks and I could taste the salty tang of them between us.
"Oh, Edward, I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm so sorry, baby. I couldn't let her have you. You were always mine from the moment I saw you. We were so perfect together that night. I know you felt it. I know you just didn't realize it. It's okay, Edward. I'll fix this. It isn't the end of us." I kissed him again, nuzzling his nose with mine. I took a deep breath, knowing what I had to do now.
I blindly reached for my purse, unwilling to let go of Edward. I managed a small smile when my hand came in contact with what I was searching for.
"I'll meet you on the other side, love. You were worth everything." I whispered, keeping my eyes on his as I brought the knife to my wrist.
Cut. Drag. Pull. Down. Red. Repeat.
It stung and there was a rush of fear, but I pushed it away. It had to be this way. I belonged wherever Edward was. The pain wouldn't last long.
I laid my head against Edward's still chest, clinging to his hand as tightly as I was able to. We were finally together. The blood was acting as a bond between our hands, our palms sticking.
I placed my other hand by his head, my fingers twitching to touch the strands of his hair close by. I was feeling light-headed now. My eyes were fluttering, but I tried to keep them locked on the sight before me.
Bright red mixed with copper, turning the blood a deeper, darker hue. Crimson. It was perfect.
I smiled.