The Only One
Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with One Tree Hill, because if I did Brucas would have ended up together and Peyton would be with Jake.
AN: This is my interpretation of 624.
Seeing her walking towards me fills me with profound sadness as I now grasp what my actions has caused me. She smiles at me and suddenly I am thrown back to our lives together many years ago. Brooke Davis is my first. She is my first love, my first date, my first sexual experience and my first girlfriend. Brooke has also been the person who moulded me into the person I am today.
The two of us are different as fire and ice. She is bubbly and cheery while I am broody. She loves pop while I'm into indie. She loves shopping whereas I love reading. She is the captain of the cheerleading team while I am co-captain of the basketball team. No matter how different we were, it didn't stop us from falling in love.
Being with Brooke was refreshing. The best part about our kinship is her unpredictable nature. Since she's unpredictable, surprises were always abound. As all couples, we did have our ups and downs. When I'm with her, I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster and I love every minute of it.
If I'm honest, I never thought I would fall in love with Brooke Davis. Before I knew Brooke, I heard stories that she was a party girl and all she loved were boys, alcohol and sex. However, after helping her with Peyton, I recognized that there was more to Brooke than meets the eye. She was insightful and shy and I could see that all she wanted was for someone to love her.
The only person who has ever shown this amount of love to her is her best friend, Peyton; who happened to be the girl I had a crush on for as long as I could remember. Here is where I hate myself for breaking Brooke. When Peyton came to me after Brooke and I got together, I could not let my crush for Peyton go and thus, I started sneaking around with her behind Brooke's back.
Before I knew it, I got into a car accident. When my Mum met Brooke, she couldn't understand why Brooke was there as all my life I had been telling her about Peyton. After getting to know her, my Mum was shocked when I broke up with Brooke. This is due to the fact that my Mum likes Brooke since she was there for me when I was in the hospital. Nevertheless, when my misdeeds were made known, the three of us were on a rocky path. During that period, the only thoughts that were swirling in my mind was how much I had hurt Brooke.
When Brooke told me she thought she was pregnant, I was scared shitless not only for myself but for Brooke and the baby. I knew if the pregnancy was confirmed, it would give me a chance to redeem myself to Brooke and to show her that I still cared for her. Before we found out she wasn't pregnant, I had imagined our lives together. I could see us being happy with our kids, in a house with a big lawn. I was disappointed to learn that Brooke wasn't pregnant. When she thought she was pregnant, she leaned on me and I was grateful to have her confiding in me even when we weren't on speaking terms anymore.
After Dan had a heart attack, I came back from Charleston with Keith. That is when I realized how much I wanted Brooke in my life. The three of us became friends again. I was with Anna while Brooke was with her brother, Felix. Only later, with the help of Nathan that I grasped that all this time I thought I had feelings for Peyton was wrong as I was actually falling in love with Brooke. When I comprehended that, I was truly jealous to see her with Felix. Nevertheless, I was grateful to be closer to Brooke after the winter formal. I was tremendously proud of her when she won Student Council President.
When Brooke had to leave Tree Hill to move to California, I was devastated as I could not imagine my life here without her. So, I persuaded my Mum to help Brooke to stay with us for the rest of the school year. I was thrilled when she welcomed my gift with open arms. During junior year, Brooke helped me deal with my problems while I was there for her when she needed me. When Brooke was about to leave for California for the summer, I told her how I felt about her and we shared a bittersweet kiss before she left me standing alone in my room.
Those three months without her was long and hard. Peyton and I kept each other company, though it did nothing to quell my feelings for Brooke. When she came back, I agreed to her condition of having a no strings attached relationship though it killed me to see her with other guys. That is why at the beach, I told her I was the guy for her. However, it was not smooth sailing. She slept with Chris Keller and I was pissed as hell at her for breaking me. It felt like there was no going back for us and though I loved her, I could not stand to play her games.
When she came to my room to apologize, I admit I was callous and rude to her. Can you imagine how I felt when I saw the woman I love in bed with another guy? Thus, I was surprised when she came to my door again with a box of letters. When she told me how she felt and how she wrote to me letters for each day of the summer, my heart melted. However, when she uttered that it didn't excuse what she did and how we will never be together again, I knew I could forgive her because I too had hurt her once. So, I chased her down my walkway and told her how much I loved her. When she reciprocated my feelings, I felt so incredibly blissful to have her after so long.
Because of what happened last time, this time around we took things slow. We talked more and I let Brooke into my world. Like everything in my life, it wasn't meant to last. The shooting changed us. I lost Keith and Peyton kissed me. Losing Keith made me indifferent to Brooke and I became a recluse. In spite of this, Brooke fought her way in and she helped me in her own way. The time at Rachel's cabin was wonderful and is one of the best moments in my life. I really thought everything would be alright and we would be able to get through anything that was thrown our way.
Boy was I wrong. After all these years, I have come to the conclusion that I should have told Brooke about the kiss and reassured her that I did not felt the same way for Peyton. Nathan and Haley's second wedding was a monumental moment for Brooke and I. Brooke looked so broken when she lashed out at me for not telling her about Peyton and the kiss and for not calling her when I was away. The truth is, I wanted to let Brooke all the way in and I thought she knew that. But, I never fully appreciated the fact that underneath that tough exterior, Brooke is an insecure girl who has always felt that my feelings for Peyton never went away.
We broke up on the eve of her birthday. My heart was crushed when she told me she didn't love me the way she used to. I was heartbroken and I turned to Peyton to help me. In hindsight, that was the dumbest move I had ever made. I should have known better than to lean on Peyton to help me get back together with Brooke. I knew they were fighting and yet it did not register in my mind that Brooke would see this as Peyton and me getting back together.
One of the worst things I did to Brooke was to tell her I was not the guy for her. The look on her face may have been indifference but I knew underneath it all she was hurt and despite that, I did not care. I guess I wanted her to feel how I felt. When I heard she was pregnant, I was happy that I may have a chance with her though I was angry that she didn't tell me about it. When Haley told me it was her that was pregnant, I realized that my happiness with Brooke may never come true.
I still do not fully understand how this led to me and Peyton being together. I started leaning more on her as Brooke was out of question and Haley and Nate had their own problems to worry about. The next thing I knew, Peyton was telling me she loved me. I was stunned and could not give her a proper answer before I left.
The night we won the championship game was another greatest moment in my life. Earlier when Peyton asked me who I wanted to spent it with, my answer was Brooke. Brooke was the first person to congratulate me and she was the one who told me to go to Peyton. At that time, I knew that no matter what I did, Brooke would always saw me as having feelings for Peyton and in a way; I decided to be with Peyton to appease Brooke.
That night, we both sacrificed our happiness for someone else. I guess that is why I romanticized my relationship with Peyton. I made it into a much deeper and fairytale like love than it actually was. Because of that, people became to acknowledge Peyton and I as soul mates while Brooke and Jake as a hindrance to our budding love.
I was pissed off when I saw the videotape of Brooke with Nate. I could not believe that my brother had slept with Brooke. It did struck me as weird that it didn't matter to me that Peyton and Nate had slept together many times before and yet it was him sleeping with Brooke that made me hit the roof. It is then that I discovered that my feelings for Brooke were still strong and that no matter how much I push it deep within my heart, I became aware that my feelings for her would never go away.
Nevertheless, slowly but surely, Brooke and I became distant again and we only ever talked when I presented her with my book that described her best. Brooke was amazed and astounded by my description of her and I am very grateful that she knew how much she meant to me. I am immensely appreciative of Nathan and Haley for making Brooke and I, Jamie's godparents. Because by being Jamie's godparents, we would always be linked together.
After graduation, Peyton and Brooke left for LA together while I stayed back to help Nate and Hales with Jamie. After a year of not seeing Peyton, I went to LA to propose to her after the team won the Nationals. The only reason I proposed was because I wanted to have a family after seeing how Nathan and Haley were happy with Jamie. When Peyton said No, I was disappointed because my dream of having a family was slipping away.
The next day, I got a call from a publishing house and they wanted to publish my novel. The launch party was in New York and I met Brooke. Seeing her there when one of my dreams came true filled me with happiness. When I hugged her, I could not believe how long it was since I last saw her. The evening spent with Brooke was magical and she did the one thing she had always been capable of doing, taking my mind off Peyton and the doomed proposal.
That night, when I was showing Brooke the ring, everyone thought we were engaged and we both happily played along. By the end of the night, we were buzzed and were having a marvellous time together. We got on a carriage ride and told the carriage guy how our lives would be like when we got married. It was refreshing that our ideas matched each other's perfectly and in that moment I could see us being together forever.
As always I had to ruin the night by kissing Brooke when she was helping me get into bed. The look on her face when she pulled away and gave me the ring was one of sadness and I cursed myself for being the one to hurt her. Up until now, I'm not sure whether I kissed her because I wanted to after so long or because I was lonely and my dream of having a family was slipping away. I guess it is because the lives we would have had together was ringing in my ears and all that I have ever wanted is to have Brooke in my life as my wife.
Do you know how much I wanted to propose to Brooke not Peyton? But, I knew she would never accept my proposal. I do still love her very much but I knew she didn't feel that way about me anymore and that hurts more than anything.
After that, I started going out with Lindsey, my editor. Three years later, Brooke and Peyton came back to Tree Hill. I was thrilled to see Brooke in my room after so long that I just held her for a little while before letting her go. Lindsey had been insecure that both my exes were in town. I was thankful that Brooke welcomed her with open arms. Peyton however was a different story. She came between Lindsey and me. Like always I had to be an idiot, and I kissed her when we were fighting. Because of what I had done, I proposed to Lindsey when she showed me the ring to ease my guilt.
Looking back, I can say that I have loved three women in my life. Yet, the love I have for each of them differs from one another. Lindsey is a beautiful woman and is the most easygoing one out of the three. Being with her is easy and she makes me comfortable. She knows how to comfort me and we have helped each other through a rough patch.
Peyton is an attractive woman. We have a deep connection with one another. She gets me very well and we can communicate with each other easily. We have the same taste in music and this has played a big part in our lives. I have a hero complex and I appreciate the fact that Peyton has always seen me as her knight in shining armour. The reason everyone sees us as soul mates is because I am always running off saving Peyton.
Last but not least is Brooke Davis. She is the most stunning and exquisite woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life. She came into my life like a breeze on a sunny day and she has changed me in many ways. Brooke and I have the same heart. We both care a great deal for our friends. Brooke and I understand each other completely. She sees me as who I am complete with my flaws and she loves me all the same. She has the most amazing heart and is one of the strongest persons I know. Of all the women in my life, my Mum sees Brooke as her own daughter and she loves her very much. I am appreciative of the fact that my Mum loves her as her own as all Brooke ever wanted is to be loved.
Even now, I can see that of all these women in my life, Brooke's the only one whom I have continually loved since I fell for her. Even though, I have been with Peyton and Lindsey, there is a piece of my heart that will always belong to Brooke. She holds the key to my heart. I may love the other two but it's a different kind of love compared to the way I love Brooke Davis. Over the years, she has grown into a successful and magnanimous person and I am forever in debt for having her in my life.
My marriage to Lindsey didn't take place and she left me fleeing to New York. Peyton then tried to weasel her way in my life but I was too angry with her to let her in my life. I spent most of my time with Brooke who at that time was given a baby girl to take care of until she received a heart surgery. Brooke helped me cope with Lindsey leaving by keeping me company and having me helping her with Angie to take my mind off my messed up life. Angie was a bright light in both our lives and those moments I spent with both of them made me feel like we were a family. I cherish those moments very much and every time when I think about Brooke and Angie, I wonder why we aren't a family.
No matter how long has pass between us, Brooke and I are still comfortable with each other. She still understands me in a way no one could and I see her for the woman she is. When she looks at me, I can see my feelings reflected back to me. With just one look, Brooke can make me feel at ease. Of all the women in my life, Brooke is the only one who can read me by just looking at me. She sees the mask in place and she tries to help me by breaking through my barriers.
Seeing Brooke with Angie renewed my notion that Brooke will make a wonderful mum and reminds me of the day she told me that the reason she came back to Tree Hill was to have a family. She is great with Jamie and she is wonderful in taking care of Angie. Having Brooke as my child's mother is something that I have always dreamed about. It would be amazing to see a miniature Brooke running around with her delicate features and personality complete with my blue eyes.
When Brooke had to give up Angie at the airport, I was filled with sorrow to see how broken she was. I am glad that Brooke let me hold her and comfort her. When she told me she love me, I knew she meant it as a friend but when I replied the same I was telling her how much I do still love her. When she gave me her purple monkey, I was humbled by her gesture. The gift meant a lot to her and for her to give it to me was huge and it meant how much she treasured having me in her life too.
Once I left Brooke, I saw the lyrics written by Peyton on the Rivercourt. It angered me that whenever she said she loved me, I had to run to her and proclaim the same. This is where I made the third biggest mistake in my life. I called Peyton and ask her to marry me at Vegas. I don't understand how I could be so stupid to propose to Peyton. I think it's because I was scared that if I proposed to Brooke she would reject me. I called Brooke first but her line was busy and instead of waiting, I called the person whom I knew would say YES.
Now, I see that I should have never left Tree Hill when Brooke had just given up Angie. I thought she would be okay and that Nathan, Haley and Jamie would be there for her. When we got back, Peyton decided that she would move in with me. I wanted to see Brooke but she was not home. The next I saw her was at Nathan and Haley's house when Quentin Fields was killed. Brooke looked so broken and she had all these bruises on her face and body. She told us she dropped down a flight of stairs but I knew there was more to it as I saw the handprint on her arm and neck.
However, I did not voice them at all as I didn't have the energy to fight Brooke when I was already grieving for Quentin. Till this day, I am angry with myself for letting Brooke down. I promised to save her and yet when she needed it, I left her to fend for herself while I was with her best friend. After that, my relationship with Brooke started to disintegrate. I realize that whenever I'm with Peyton, my relationship with the rest of my family and friends tend to suffer.
It's weird because when I'm with Brooke and Lindsey, I spent a huge amount of time with my friends and family. I guess when Peyton and I are together, we tend to ditch the people we love and for me it is always Brooke that is left behind. It is strange that when Brooke and I were together, she encouraged me to still be friends with Peyton and yet Peyton doesn't extend the same courtesy.
Everyone believes The Comet is about Peyton and that the quote describes her perfectly. However, they are wrong as it is actually about Brooke. Brooke has been the one who changed my life. The moment she walked into my life, I was hooked and I relish the moments where she brought out another side of me. "It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty… meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart."
This quote describes our relationship seamlessly. At the start, everyone was against Brooke being with me but with Peyton, they were happy and welcoming about it. The quote is about how no one believes these two people are meant to be and how even the guy sometimes doubts their love. Brooke has brought meaning into my life and I would not be who I am today without her help.
Even with The Unkindness of Ravens, everyone believes that the love between Peyton and I transcends everything but they could not be more wrong. Peyton and I do love each other but it is not the same as how we love Brooke and Jake. We know that instead of being by ourselves, we could be together as we get along great and understand each other well. Our love is not really love at all. Instead its two people who believe that the love of their life is not within reach and they are settling for second best.
When Peyton found out she was pregnant, I was overjoyed. I had been hoping to start a family for a long time and to have it come true was a miracle to me although Brooke would not be the mother. When we found out Peyton could die, I wanted her to abort the child as I did not want my child to be motherless like how I was fatherless. Likewise, I believe that this child made me loved Peyton more and I drowned out my love for Brooke to the deeper recesses of my heart.
I was jealous when I found out Brooke was with Julian, my movie producer and Peyton's ex. I know it's selfish since I'm with Peyton who is carrying my child, but that didn't stop me for wanting them to break up. I comprehended that I cannot see Brooke being with another guy. Sometimes, when I look at them, I see myself and Brooke. Julian reminds me of who I used to be and it makes me wish that I had chosen the right path in high school. Maybe if I never cheated on Brooke, our relationship would have flourished and we would now be like Nathan and Haley with a kid in between.
No matter, how far apart Brooke and I have drifted, she would always be the woman that I love and even if we can't be together now, I believe that one day we will find our way back together as Brooke has always said 'People that are meant to be together will always find their way in the end.' Maybe in another lifetime, we will get to have our happily ever after.
As I see her standing there in her red dress with her hair curled to one side, I am reminded of Haley and Nathan's second wedding. Brooke is breathtakingly beautiful and it takes everything in me not to kiss her. The wedding march starts and everyone turns to see Peyton coming up the aisle, Peyton looks resplendent in her white gown and I am amazed that Brooke could dress her up so well with the baby bump she's sporting.
As Brooke winks at me and gives me the smile that she has only ever given to me, I'm floored and I understand that by marrying Peyton, I would be making the biggest mistake in my life. No matter how much I love Peyton and our child, it is not enough and after all that is said and done, it is Brooke who I see a future with and who I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Once Peyton steps in place beside me, I feel myself freezing up. When Haley tells me it's my turn, I am numb and I feel like I cannot breathe let alone speak. I turn to look at Brooke and she gives me a questioning look and I convey to her what I'm feeling. There are a myriad of emotions playing on her face. There's shock, hurt, love, pain, anger and lastly, disappointment. As Brooke looks me in the eye, I see her pleading with me to just let her go and not to ruin her best friend's happiness. The truth is, as hard as I try I cannot turn off my feelings for Brooke anymore.
I turn away from Brooke and I see Nathan looking at me in bewilderment while Haley looks furious at me for starting up the dreaded love triangle all over again. Before I could say a word, Peyton looks at me expectedly. I know that I have two choices. Either I go through the wedding pretending to love Peyton as much as I say I do or I ruin the wedding by telling Peyton the truth. I look at both of them and I grasp the fact that even if I did not marry Peyton, it doesn't mean that Brooke and I would be together as she's with Julian. As I weigh my response, I know that at the end of the day, I may be married with a kid on the way or I may be alone with a kid on the way. Before giving my answer, I look to Brooke once more.
"I'm sorry for making all of you wait and my answer is …"
I'm sorry for leaving the ending abrupt. It could have gone both ways. When I started the story, I wanted to end it with Lucas marrying Peyton though he loves Brooke but when the story was being written, I found myself questioning my decision.
So, in the end I decided to leave it hanging and for my readers to imagine the ending they want. I know some of you would have wanted Lucas to suck it up and marry Peyton because he isn't good enough for Brooke anymore and then there are those who would always want Brucas to end up together no matter what happens.
Anyway, thanks for reading and please review :)