Well I bring you another attempt at humor and torturing poor, poor Kakashi. But he is so fun to tease. Let's see, hmmm, I don't own any of the characters in my story, except for the kids and animals. I got the idea for this story from a very funny email called "Calling off Work".
No Respect
An Elite Shinobi is one with unmatched skill in ninjutsu, taijutsu, and genjutsu. Only an equally matched shinobi can bring another one down. Or so I thought. I, Hatake, Kakashi, was brought down, not by an S class criminal, but by a small ball of fluff.
"Tou-san, can I get him? Please?"
Big green eyes stared pleadingly up into my one dark eye.
"Hmm, you know how I feel about those, things."
"Tou-san, it's not a thing. It's a cute, cuddly, fluffy, soft little kitten. Doesn't he look adorable?"
This all was said as my six year old daughter had her hands and face pressed up against the glass looking at two squirming fur balls.
"Yeah, adorable, but the answers still no."
Silence. Now, I know my daughter. She may have my hair, but she is so like her mother. The silence could be taken as: A) she is going to through one major temper tantrum or B). My thought was interrupted by a sound, a sniffle to be exact. I looked down to see a quivering lip and tears running down my baby's face.
"Fine, but he's your responsibility." I'm such a sucker for big green eyes.
"Yeah I will Tou-san. I promise."
It's amazing how fast the tears can stop. Oh well, seeing my daughter happy is worth putting up with a cat. If it gets to bothersome I'll just summon a few nin-dogs to put it in its place. Smirking, I shoved my hands in my pocket and we walked home with our newest family member.
For a few weeks, everything was fine with the kitten. I stayed out of its way and he stayed out of mine, life was good. The only complaint I had was the cat toys lying around the house: little mice, little balls, balls with bells in them, and the dangly toys he likes to jump at.
One morning I was enjoying a nice hot shower when, "Kakashi, its messed up again. Come fix it please". I heard my wife's voice yell. The "it" she was referring to was our garbage disposal, our very old, often breaking down, garbage disposal.
"Sakura," I called back from my nice hot shower, "you know how to fix it. Do it your self." Sighing, I closed my eyes and let the water run down my head and across my aching shoulders. Yeah I thought smirking, it was good to be married to a younger woman.
SLAM, CRASH.
My eyes popped open, unless said wife was the strongest Kunichi in the village and top medic-nin.
Pulling back the shower curtain, I saw a for mentioned Kunichi glaring at me with blazing green eyes.
"Kakashi, you know how I feel about sticking my hands under the sink to find the button. It will only take you a minute."
"But Sakura, I'm in the middle of a shower." Whining always works for her and the kids.
"So?"
It's obviously, not going to work on her.
"Fine." To show my displeasure I stomped out of the shower, out of the bathroom, and into the kitchen dripping water along the way in all my manly glory. I could feel Sakura following behind me and being the seasoned shinobi that I am, I should have felt the enemy following too. But, I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts and my wife's muttering about the mess I was making. Servers her right for making me get out of my hot shower.
As I approached the sink, the enemy was approaching from around the corner. Sighing, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the reset button my wife was afraid to find.
It was at that exact moment when I was at my most vulnerable that the enemy struck with our warning. No battle cry, nothing to warn me. It wasn't an Akatsuki member, but the kitten. He pounced on the new toys he spotted dangling between my legs with his needle-like claws.
Shinobi are supposed to be able to stay calm and in control of the situation. And above all else, they are never to show emotion. Whoever came up with those rules was never in my situation. Everything I believed in flew right out the window in my flight to get away from the menace hanging from my man parts. Let me just say that I'm known for my speed and that was proven correct in my escape. The only problem with my not thought out escape plan, the cabinet.
I awoke to the feeling of my wife's warm healing charka on my head. I realized three things upon waking: one, I was still naked laying on my kitchen floor; two, my daughter was clutching the little menace or kitten to her chest; and the third and final thing or things, my two former students laughing their fool heads off. Yes, even Sasuke.
I tried to give them a menacing glare to shut them up but failed miserably.
"What's wrong Kakashi, cat got your tongue?" Sauske asked smirking.
Closing my eyes I thought, I just get no respect.
Just for the record I'll state again that I got this idea from an email about a man who ended up in the same situation as Kakashi. The email stated it was written by an anonymous male from Texas.