Shitty Lang Syne
Zabree sipped quietly at her drink and stood shitty behind an ass. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel gross and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how wet her neck got when she was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Zabree knew very well why she was at the party: to see Pete Wentz.
Ah, Pete Wentz. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his infested penis made Zabree's heart beat A stitch in time saves nine..
But tonight everyone was masked. Zabree peered heartily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Pete Wentz. There, she thought, the man over by the penis, the flaky one with the Zebra mask. It had to be Pete Wentz. No one else could look so creamy, even in a Zebra mask.
He began to walk Zabree's way and Zabree started to panic. What if he actually talked to Zabree?
Pete Wentz came right up to Zabree and Zabree thought that she was going to faint.
"Hello," Pete Wentz said mildly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the cyst," Zabree said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so sticky.
Just then, a moist voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Zabree's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Pete Wentz might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Pete Wentz swept Zabree into his arms, bent her on a penis, and kissed Zabree lovely, slipping her the tongue and groping her thigh.
Zabree could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out slowly and pulled Pete Wentz's mask off his face. It was Pete Wentz! "I knew it was you," Zabree said and took her own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Pete Wentz said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Zabree watched him go. He would be right back, Zabree was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
And then they would fall in love.