Okay, I just made this because I was in a yaoi mood. Enjoy! Warning: EvilxFlippy don't like, GTFO. Evil and Flippy are seperate entities.
Every. Fucking. Night.
Evil knew there was something wrong with his host beside himself, but this was getting out of hand. Every night for the past MONTH Flippy had been getting up out of bed to go in the kitchen and snack. But, of all the snacks to eat, Flippy had to go eat a spoonful or two (or ten) of sour fucking cream. Evil hated watching his counterpart come back into the bedroom licking the white cream off of his fingers and lips, reminding him of things (or desires) he'd very much like to forget. Badly.
So tonight was no exception. Evil was jolted from his horrid dreams of bloody murder by his soft little counterpart getting up out of bed and walking out of the room. Evil growled and closed his eyes again, trying to catch up with what little sleep he could get before Flippy woke up for good and began rambling on about his girly little plans for the day. Bastard. Just as the evil bear was drifting off-
SMASH
Fuck.
Evil had enough. I'm getting sick of this bullshit! He raged inwardly. Why doesn't he eat this during the DAY? He stomped into the kitchen and found Flippy, kneeling down on the floor and cleaning up a red substance. Evil's heart shot up into his throat, but then he realized that Flippy was just cleaning up some strawberry jam, not blood. As if it matters. Evil scolded himself.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Evil hissed, and Flippy shrieked, jumping to his paws. Evil flicked the light on and leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and a pissed expression on his face.
"Oh-" Flippy stammered. "Did I wake you?"
"You wake me every night you do this shit!" Evil spat. "I just haven't said anything until now."
Flippy sighed. "Damn, I'm sorry. I'm addicted to this stuff, I don't know why!" Flippy showed his evil counterpart the jar of sour cream, shame shadowing his face. "Try it. You'll understand."
"I don't understand anything about you." Evil slammed the refrigerator door shut, an idea striking him. He knew he had been harboring a secret crush on his counterpart for a while now, maybe he could use this sour cream to his advantage...
"I refuse to eat that shit."
Reverse Psychology.
"Wh-Evil! Don't be so mean! It tastes good!"
"Fuck you."
"That hurts, Evil. Stop it."
"Fuck you. I see no pain."
"St-stop it! Just try it!"
Evil grinned wickedly in his mind. On the outside, he wore a Poker Face. "Fine. I'll try it when you try it."
Flippy blinked. "Uh...okay."
Evil watched his counterpart pull out a silver spoon, fill it with a huge glop of sour cream and put in in his mouth. He slid the spoon out and-
"Stop it. Don't swallow." Evil snapped. Flippy jumped, then gave him a confused look.
Evil tried to hide his grin but failed as he stepped closer and closer to his counterpart until Flippy was up against the wall. Flippy's eyes were wide with fear, and his mouth was full of sour cream. Evil leaned forward until his lips were barely touching Flippy's, their breaths mingling.
"You really want me to try it?" Evil whispered.
Flippy frantically shook his head 'no'.
"Liar." Evil pressed his lips onto Flippy's, then began to part his lips with his tongue. Flippy thrashed a bit until Evil grabbed his wrists and pinned him to the wall so that Flippy could only writhe. Once Evil gained entrance he began to explore Flippy's sour-creamy cavern and lapped some off of his teeth and tongue. Flippy whimpered and barely stifled a moan as Evil continued to assault his mouth.
Evil finally licked up some cream and pulled away, savoring the taste of Flippy in his mouth. Said bear was crying, some of the sour cream sliding down his chin where he couldn't keep Evil away. He quickly whiped the stuff onto his pajama sleeve, then dried his tears as Evil swallowed slowly.
"Urgh." Evil grunted. "I still don't understand why you like this stuff. Maybe some lettuce, tomato and taco meat and you're alright." He grinned darkly at his counterpart. "You know Flippy, I heard there's something called whipped cream. It's white and creamy like sour cream, but much sweeter and more delicious. We should try it."
Evil left the kitchen, turning off the light as he did. Flippy stood there in the darkness a while longer before deciding that he was going to sleep on the couch here on out. At least until he got his own bedroom.
Yeaaaaaaah...weird. This idea came to me and wouldn't leave me alone so...hey. By the way, this idea isn't COMPLETELY mine. I got inspired by these two stories called Remus Lupin Hates Quidditch and Sirius Black Hates Books by imSiriuslyLupin4you (sorry if I got the titles wrong! It's late at night and I'm EXHAUSTED). Thanks for reading!