Naomi had been longing for a chance to play the piano ever since Pandora's party. It had been over a week now and she'd just been getting more and more upset over the events that had happened there and more so her reactions to those events. Playing piano was the one thing that soothed her, that calmed her and helped her work things out.
She'd started playing at age four when her mum had actually had a piano in the house before she'd decided that communal living and minimalism were the way to go. She'd started playing scales (not that she'd known that was what they were at the time) and begged her mum for weeks to let her take lessons. Her mum had finally remembered to ask the woman who'd lived down the street at the time if she'd be willing to give Naomi lessons, and she'd started going there twice a week and practicing daily at home. She had loved it from the start.
Now her fingers were practically itching to play, hardly able to sit still in class, drumming along the desk, picking out the fingering to one of Bach's Minuets. The only piano she had access to these days was in the music room at college, but it had been occupied every time she'd tried to use it. She felt so frustrated that she was ready to burst.
The puppy dog eyes that Emily kept shooting in her direction weren't helping at all. She'd told the girl that it was only the drugs. She'd warned her. It couldn't be anything else. It just fucking couldn't. But Emily kept giving her helpful little waves and shy little smiles that fucking definitely didn't stir butterflies in her stomach. Just like the kiss hadn't done that either. Or the one later on the bouncy castle (though that had been more of a snog if she was honest with herself). Still it had just been the drugs.
She tapped a little harder on her desk, willing the seconds of her class to tick by a little faster. She made the mistake of glancing to her left and caught Emily staring at her. The girl blushed and smiled, eyes looking back at Naomi full of expectations. Expectations that Naomi fucking knew she couldn't live up to.
No, she thought firmly, smacking angrily at her desk, causing a few curious glances from her classmates that she promptly ignored. She fucking didn't want to live up to Emily's expectations! Even if she could, she didn't want to...She didn't want that! She wasn't gay. Emily was. She felt her heart beating a little harder, matching the taps of her fingers on the desk.
The bell rang and Naomi gathered her books and raced out of the classroom, wanting to avoid actually having to talk to Emily at all costs. She navigated the packed hallways, picking her way towards the music room.
She practically sighed in relief when she saw that the room was empty. She walked in, dropping her bag carelessly on the floor with a thud as she made a beeline for the piano.
Almost as soon as she sat down on the piano bench and centred herself in front of middle C. She felt herself relaxing. She contemplated what to play for a moment as her hands hovered above the keys. She opted to start with something easy, mindless as it were. Something that she'd been playing since she was seven so the motor memory was so imprinted in her fingers that she could just let it flow and focus on other things.
As her fingers played out the first few notes of Für Elise, she felt the tension in her back start to unwind. She let her mind wonder as her fingers danced. She didn't care if she was playing a tempo. In fact, she was well aware that she was playing too fast. She wasn't concerned if she was playing pianissimo or fortissimo or anywhere in between. She was playing her emotions and her frustrations out for now.
Everything had gotten so fucked up. Ever since Emily'd kissed her in middle school. No, before that even. As soon as Emily and Katie had entered her life way back when, things had started to go to shit.
Why her? Why had Emily decided to like her? Why had Emily kissed her? More than once now, too, she reminded herself as she pounded a little harder on the keys. Weren't things shit enough with Katie spreading rumours about her being gay and most of the population of the college being complete twats? Why couldn't Emily fucking leave her alone so that she wouldn't have to deal with the strange way that her lips seemed to think they enjoy kissing her?
The final chord of the song sang out and lingered in the air as Naomi decided what to play next. She felt like more of a challenge now that she was warmed up. Something that she could focus on more, but still something that would give her a chance to expel her anger and frustration. She settled on Chopin's Etude in C Minor Op. 10 No. 12, letting her fingers race over the keyboard. She couldn't play it completely a tempo because it was so incredibly fast while being rather complex as well, but she liked playing songs that she could push herself in, songs that made her fingers rush. Her fingers liked to dance quickly over the ivories. The minor key was soothing to her ear and fuelled her darker mood. The pounding chords in the right hand helped her get out her frustration. She let her fingers settle into the longer song, focusing from time to time, especially on her faster moving left hand. She couldn't help her mind wondering back to her problems though.
The biggest issue was that she really had enjoyed kissing Emily. It had felt good physically. There was no denying that her body had responded. Fucking stupid body, betraying her like that. Sure the drugs had contributed, but nobody else's touch had lit her body on fire quite so much that night.
Naomi sighed in aggravation as her fingers tripped over a key and struck the wrong note. She started a little further back and tried again. Her fingers flowed seamlessly this time. She breathed a little easier.
And why couldn't she stop thinking about the kiss? About Emily? It was ridiculous. It shouldn't mean anything! Except it was their second kiss, really. And it had taken her months before she'd stopped thinking about that first kiss every day. She hadn't wanted to think about what that might mean.
There was something about that girl. The cute way she nibbled on her pen when she didn't know the answer to a question in class, the way her nose scrunched up when she was disagreeing with Katie but didn't want to voice it aloud, the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled, the way she tucked her hair behind her ears and let her fingers linger there when she was reading a book that she was especially engrossed in...Naomi pounded harder on the keys, trying to pound the images out of her head. She shouldn't know all of that. She shouldn't have noticed all of that. But she did and she had. It was Emily Fitch. She was special. Naomi didn't want to think so, but nobody had gotten under her skin like Emily had. That was what bugged her the most. She fought and she fought and this quiet little girl somehow still worked her way in.
Naomi closed her eyes as her fingers danced, squeezing them shut. Emily Fitch. The girl could very possibly be the death of her. No...make that: would very probably be the death of her.
She was gorgeous though. There was no denying that really. Her big brown eyes, her porcelain skin, her little button nose...All of it made her beautiful. The cute little quirk of her rosebud lips made them look all the more kissable. And it was more than that too. When she wasn't busy shooting Naomi lovesick looks she was really rather fun to hang out with. It was why she'd been with her and Pandora's party to begin with.
She let her fingers run down the keys and strike the final chords of the song. Her fingers hovered as she tried to decide what to play next. Her anger had mostly drained away while playing that last song, so she was in the mood for something lighter, something...more romantic.
Sticking with Chopin she decided to start on the newest song she was learning, though she was teaching herself mostly these days so progress was slow, especially given how infrequently she had access to a piano. She poised her fingers on the starting notes of Chopin's Ballade No. 4 in F-minor, Opus 52. She didn't have all of it memorised as it was quite a long song, but she could work on the bit that she did know by heart. Her fingers touched down and the notes sang out softly.
She had to focus even more on this song in order to play it properly, but even still, images of the redhead floated in and out of her consciousness as her fingers danced.
Emily sighed as she packed up her bag. Naomi had barely looked at her in class. Hell, she'd barely looked at her since they'd kissed at Pandora's party. Forget trying to hold an actual conversation with her.
It was especially frustrating because she'd basically come out to Naomi. It was the first time she'd admitted it aloud, that she was gay. And the one person who knew would barely look at it. She walked slowly down the hall, engulfed in her own thoughts.
Suddenly music broke through her reverie. She looked up and around and headed towards where the sound was originating. She peaked through the window of the music room door and her breath caught as she caught sight of a familiar form with blonde hair sitting on the piano bench, whole upper body moving as she played.
Emily's jaw dropped. She had no idea that Naomi played the piano, especially so incredibly. She glanced around the hallway, but nobody else seemed to be paying any attention to the beautiful music that was now overwhelming her brain. She slipped quietly into the room, closing the door behind her as softly as she could. She breathed out slowly as she realised that Naomi hadn't noticed.
She didn't mean to stare, especially since Naomi didn't know she was there, but she didn't want to interrupt and she couldn't help but watch as the blonde's hands flew over the keys.
It was remarkable to watch. She'd never seen anyone's fingers move so fast and the music that filled her ears was simply stunning. Naomi looked so elegant as she played and Emily could envision her in a concert hall in some slinky black dress playing to an audience of hundreds. She bit her lip at the mental image and her body felt a bit flushed. It was incredibly sexy. She felt her frustration with the blonde melt away as she watched her play. She was in awe of her. She realised as she observed, mouth gaping, that she'd possibly just fallen a little harder for Naomi.
The song came to an end and before Emily could shake herself out of her reverie and announce her presence, Naomi's fingers had started in on another song. She didn't mean to be acting all stalkerish (although she couldn't help thinking that Naomi, in her elusiveness, was rather stalkable), she just didn't have time to say anything in between songs and she didn't really want to interrupt the beautiful playing. She couldn't tear herself away from the vision in front of her either, so she simply watched on.
It was a few more minutes before Naomi's fingers began to stumble slightly over the keys. She watched as the blonde pressed down on a discordant chord in frustration and sighed, pulling her hands away from the keys.
"Well it was alright til then," Naomi muttered to herself.
Emily knew that she had to make her presence known then. She took a deep breath. "That was incredible, Naomi!" she informed the blonde, biting nervously at her lip as she was unsure of how the girl would react.
Naomi practically jumped a foot in the air as she spun her head around. It was Emily. Of fucking course it was Emily fucking Fitch. Nobody else would stalk her like that. No shaggable guy would have stumbled across her playing (not that there were any at their college anyway...tossers, the whole lot of them).
Several thoughts ran through her head, all of them rather defensive. "How long have you been standing there?" she demanded.
"Not too long. Just a few minutes," Emily replied apologetically.
"For fuck's sake!" Naomi sighed. "Can't you tell when people want to be alone?"
"Sorry," Emily mumbled, her cheeks blushing a bright red.
Naomi sighed again, but it was less exasperated this time. Emily obviously hadn't meant to intrude. She had complimented her playing as well. Still, of all the people to find her, it had to be the one she was trying to avoid? "I don't really like playing for an audience," Naomi muttered.
"Why not? You're brilliant!" Emily said eagerly, taking a small step forward.
Naomi snorted. "Oh yeah. That was brilliant just now. Couldn't even bloody remember what note to play and I didn't even know I had an audience."
Emily shrugged shyly. "I thought it sounded lovely."
"Yeah, well...I'm done now," Naomi stood and grabbed her bag.
Emily approached to the piano and let her fingers run softly over the keys, not actually pressing any of them down. "What was that last song you were playing?"
"Frederic Chopin's Ballade No. 4 in F-minor, Opus 52," Naomi replied.
"It sounded really complicated," Emily offered, glancing shyly up at Naomi.
"It is," Naomi said honestly, though a part of her brain scolded her for showing off a bit.
"Could you...I mean would you be willing to give me lessons?" Emily inquired softly, pressing two notes right next to each other.
Naomi cringed at the sound. Emily was probably just trying to spend time with her, and that was really not something that Naomi was sure she was comfortable with. The more time away from Emily the better really. Less time for things between them to get muddled up. Less time for her to have uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Less...temptation. "I really don't think that I'd be the best teacher," Naomi replied. Still Emily wasn't looking at her. Instead, she was admiring the piano with admiration. Naomi remembered the first time her piano teacher had played a really complex song for her, the awe she'd felt, the excitement at the possibility that maybe someday she'd be able to play like that. Naomi watched Emily's face fall a bit and remembered her mother denying her lessons to start and how heartbroken she'd felt. "I don't even have a piano at home," Naomi relented a little. "So unless you have one..."
"You could give me lessons here?" Emily suggested hopefully.
Naomi hesitated again and Emily took a seat at the piano and started pressing keys at random. Most of them didn't go together. Naomi reached out instinctively and caught Emily's hands in hers, making her stop playing. "If I say yes, do you promise to stop making that awful noise?"
Emily looked up into Naomi's eyes and suddenly Naomi was finding it a little harder to breathe. She was suddenly acutely aware that she was holding Emily's hands in her own and she dropped them like she'd been burnt.
If Emily noticed, she only showed it for a split second. "Promise," she replied.
Naomi swallowed hard. "Ok. Good. Meet me here...I dunno tomorrow after school or something."
"I can't tomorrow. Katie's insisting we go shopping," Emily rolled her eyes.
Naomi crossed her arms in annoyance. "Do you want lessons or not?" she snapped.
Emily pursed her lips for a second. "What about during lunch tomorrow?"
Naomi paused, unsure if she really wanted to spend her lunch in here teaching Emily to play, but she'd already said she'd do it so she might as well. It wasn't like she was especially social at lunch time anyway. "Ok, fine."
Emily smiled broadly at her and she did her best to ignore the way that her stomach flipped.
"Right, well, I've got to go," Naomi lied. She just needed to get out of the room with Emily before things became awkward.
"Ok. See you tomorrow," Emily said cheerfully.
"Right, yeah...See you," Naomi replied before quickly scooting out of the room. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath once she was outside. Just being that close to Emily had set her heart racing. Giving her lessons was going to be a problem. She was stuck doing it now, though. She took another deep breath. It'll be alright, she tried to tell herself. It's just piano lessons. She just wished that she really believed that.