I never thought that I
Had any more to give
Pushing me so far
Here I am without you
A brunette with piercing blue eyes and wildly spiked hair sits alone at a bar, a lit cigarette in his fingers and a half-empty glass in front of him. He doesn't know what he's drinking any more, doesn't care what he's drinking as long as it's strong. On the outside he looks young, like he should be in college, but his eyes tell a different story. The piercing blue eyes look ancient; they have seen more pain than anyone should see in their lives. The young man looks almost as if he is falling apart in front of you, right there on his barstool. The world has taken everything from this man, leaving him broken and alone.
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
The young man is Ban Mido, formerly a member of the recovery service known as the GetBackers. Those days are behind him; now he's just another person trying to drown his mistakes at a bar. Trying to ignore how lonely he is without his partner, how empty he feels without the person he loves most.
One mistake, one little mistake, and Ban's life came crashing down around him. One second of distraction and Ginji is in front of him, shielding him from bullets that he never saw coming. Ban can still feel Ginji's hand on his cheek and see Ginji's last smile. He still hears Ginji's last words in his ears; "Ban-chan, I love you." He treasures the memory of their last kiss and the feeling of Ginji's last breath on his lips.
Ban clearly recalls the pain of his heart breaking when Ginji died; he hasn't stopped feeling it since.
Everything will change
But love remains the same
Everything changed when Ginji died. Nothing matters to Ban anymore; he's simply curled into himself, not letting anyone close, not even his friends. He knows that smoking and alcohol are a horrible combination, but he can't bring himself to care. He knows that Ginji wouldn't want him to do this to himself, but he can't find it in him to care about that either. To stop would mean he had moved on, and he can't move on without Ginji.
When Ban finally leaves the bar and stumbles to the Ladybug, he leans back in the driver's seat and stares into the rearview mirror. Then Ginji is shaking his arm gently, asking "Ban-chan, you ok? You spaced out for a little." Ban turns and kisses his partner fiercely, holding him close. When they break apart Ban hugs Ginji tightly and tells him "I love you." Then Ginji is gone and Ban is alone, whispering "I love you" as he stares at an empty passenger seat.