*a.n* I started wondering what Arthur Weasley actually did at work—when he's not busy escorting potential criminals, that is (snigger), so I went and wrote a little dialogue to ease my suffering. Now, if only I could say that I own the characters. . . but I can't. Sad, ain't it?

*poof into Arthur's extremely cramped office*

"Ow! You really should move that desk, Perkins, I Apparate onto it every day and it's really quite painful."

"Sorry, Arthur, but there's no room for me to move this blasted thing! Maybe you should aim for the coffee room or something."

"I'll do that, thank you very much. Now, what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well, there's a few articles from last night's raid that we need to tend to in the in-box right there, and our report needs to be submitted, it's already late, then we're scheduled to make a visit to the Malfoy Manor—you know Lucius has been named as a Death Eater?"

"oh-HO! You don't say, you don't say. . .well then, what are we waiting for? Hand me that thingy and let's get cracking!"

"Right. What is this thingy, anyway?"

"What do those Muggles call it?. . .oh, yes, it's called a toaster. What's wrong with it?"

" Dunno. I'll have to poke around it a bit to find out. . ."

*snapping sound*

"That toaster just bit me!"

"Oh, calm down, Perkins, it's not a killer. You shouldn't have stuck you hand into one of those little holes. . .after all, things don't come here when they aren't dangerous."

"Yes. Right. You take it."

"Oh, all right, you big baby. Here—these aren't dangerous, they're only mittens."

 

*strangling noise*

"Ok. . .I guess they are dangerous. . . c'mon, you stupid mittens, let him GO!"

 

*gasp*

*pant pant*

"NOT DANGEROUS!?!?"

"How was I supposed to know they would try to strangle you?"

"Fine. Luckily, there isn't much left—only this watchamacallit. . ."

"Ooh, it's got a plug! Let's plug it in!"

"Arthur?"

"Yes?"

"we don't have eckel—eckelec—"

"Eckletricity."

"Yeah. That."

"Sorry. I forgot. So, I'll be taking this home…"

*stuff stuff*

"Then we're done here. . ."

"Good. I can turn in the report, Perkins, I have it right here. Just relax. . .take those Muggle things down to Charm-Stripping, I'll be right back."

"oh, goody, leave me with the easy job. . ."

*poof into Fudge's office, which is considerably larger*

"Oh, hello, Weasley. I don't have much time: do you have that report?"

"Yes, sir. But if I could take a second, I'd like to ask you if I—"

"No."

"No, sir?"

"That's what I said."

"Oh. Well, then, I'll be going."

"You do that."

*whisper nasty things about Fudge under his breath*

"What was that, Weasley?"

"Nothing, sir."

*poof back into the extremely cramped office, still whispering nasty things about Fudge under his breath*

"Ow!"

"What's that, Weasley?"

"Oh, I tried to get a bigger office out of that bungler, but he didn't even let me finish."

"Figures. Maybe you should let me ask from now on. I wasn't in the Order when Fudgehead was fighting it, he won't have a grudge against me."

"Maybe, maybe not. You ready to go, Perkins?"

"Yep. I even got out the big sacks—it is the Malfoys, after all."

"Good. Let's go."

*poof with Perkins to the front gate of the Malfoy Manor*

*a.n*  I'll just leave you hanging here. . .what will Arthur and Perkins find in there? Is Lucius Malfoy even home? Wil poor Perkins be the victim of a bunny slipper attack? You'll need to review this first, then read chapter two to find out!