Author's Note: I do not own anything, it all belongs to JK Rowling (aka The Queen)

English is not my first language, so if you read something preposterous:

1 – Sorry about that wasn't my intention.

2 – Please let me know so I'll fix it.

Be free to review, any way you want it!

And it's a working project, not really sure how it'll end up. If you have any ideas, please share!

I hope you enjoy!

Bloody Rodolphus

It's been six months since I left my so called husband to finally be with my soul mate, my Love, my Lord.

Everything seemed perfect, I could lastly kiss those lips I longed for so much, feel those long cold hands running over my body, I could wake up only to see the man I've been completely head over heels for sleeping next to me. Well, sort of…

In the beginning I remember I was more than excited, imagining how perfect my life would be without that pathetic excuse of a wizard I called husband anywhere near me, but In his place the greatest wizard of all time. Lord Voldemort and Bellatrix! I was now Mrs. You Know Who, or Mrs. Who Shall Not Be Named. You would think it was obvious that he would choose me to be by his side, after all, I was his most faithful servant, and gave him only my undying love and devotion. But only I know how much I've been through to get where I am today. Still so, somehow I wish I wasn't in this position.

You must be thinking I'm crazy. Well believe me I thought it so too, but I came to the conclusion that's not the case, tough I really wish it would, because it would make things so much easier.

It all came to me about two months ago, while making love, or better off, fucking with my new "husband". In the middle of it, I could only focus on one thing and one thing only: Rodolphus Lestrange.

Yeah, that's right. The man of my dreams fucking me and my mind wonders to my loser ex husband and on how tender his touch was, how I could see how much he cared based solely on the way he moved, how his hips matched mine perfectly … I could go on for hours, but I imagine you already got the picture.

Believe me I tried to shrug those thoughts off to the best of my abilities, but I couldn't no matter how I tried. To cope with it, I desperately searched for some sign in my new lover's behavior that showed that he cared, even if a little bit, but everything with him was purely physical… he was never really preoccupied if I was enjoying our moments together or if I was dreading it, actually he never really cared at all. Honestly, whether it was me or a blow up doll in his bed didn't make a damn difference: we never kissed, we never fooled around, everything was absolutely cold and mechanical.

After drawing this conclusion I tried to make myself believe it was only a matter of getting used to it, viewing it as a matter of adaptation: I was used to and obnoxiously attentive man, and now I was with someone less icky towards me, like in a real relationship, and I needed sometime to manage it, even because I never even liked my ex husband, and I've always been in love with the Dark Lord.

Please don't be fooled; when I say I really didn't like the man I spend about 20 years of my life, I absolutely mean it. To be quite fair I despised the man, who surely wasn't up to my standards. Any chance I had I would humiliate him, make fun of the feelings I knew he had for me, fantasize about my life without him and trample over every slightly piece of memory he held as a happy one regarding him and I. I was able to make his life a living hell, and I most certainly passed with flying colors in every subject available. And every time I think of all this, I can't bring myself to believe I did that to someone I actually loved. Maybe it was denial. Maybe I don't really love him at all and I am just flabbergasted to realize how my true love treats me. Maybe I'm just trying to jeopardize the relationship I'm in because I think I'm not worth it. Maybe I just needed to lose the one I cared about to gain the strength to face my own feelings. Or maybe I just really am fucking crazy. Does it even matter at this point?

All I know is that this feeling towards my ex keeps growing, and it had grown to a point I'm not sure I can hide it anymore. I already caught myself innumerous times just staring at him at gatherings, and I couldn't help but notice how he behaves around his new skinny ass girlfriend, how he looks at her the way he used to look at me, how his attention is undoubtedly hers. I just hate my life.

I guess all this drama sums up to that old saying: be careful of what to wish for.

Drowning in all my sorrow and trying to act normally, I kicked the stupid house elf and went to bed. Tomorrow was a big day for my sister Cissy (20th anniversary of her marriage with that annoying brat, Lucius) and I had to be on my best to help her.

Around 2pm I manage to arrive at the Malfoy Mannor, only to find my dear sister panicking over the decorations. Everything looked perfectly aligned and the Slytheryn colors matched graciously, covering the whole room with tasteful elegance, but in her eyes it was almost like 100 shit bombs went out spreading shit all around:

"Cissy, I really think you're overreacting, everything looks absolutely amazing!" – I said, trying to calm her down.

"Argh, you don't know what you're saying; this place is a complete disaster! Look at those curtains! Oh my God! THAT'S NOT THE CHINA I SELECTED! I'm going to cancel it! I can't do it! I can't do it!"

Obviously calming her down wasn't one of my many abilities.

"Honey, why don't you go relax for a while and let me take care of it?"

"Are you kidding me?" – She said on a complete serious tone.

"Ok, perhaps I'm not the best choice to do it" – She agreed to it so fast I was a little bit hurt – "So why don't we just go get our hair and makeup done, and while there get a full body massage? You sure look like you need one…"

"And who will fix all this?"

"I'm sure Penelope Clearwater would love to help. She's being doing just about everything to please you" No answer "And she does have a talent, you know, decorating things. Besides, if you stay here you'll end up murdering all the help"

Cissy looked surprised, and stared incredulously at me, but ended up agreeing. She grabbed two huge boxes and two smaller ones (which I presume was our clothing) and we went.

Ok, this might not sound like a big deal at all, me taking my sister to the "beauty parlor" or whatever the hell they call it, but you can't begin to imagine how much, I ABSOLUTELY HATE people messing with my hair, or as a matter of fact, how I hate people I do not know touching me. It just makes me want to kill everyone. Go crazy "Avada Kedavra" on their asses. But this was my sister, and I really cared about her, so I went.

It took us precisely 5 hours and 34 minutes do get ready. I really can't believe I was able to make it without killing or seriously injuring anyone, and based on Cissy's glances, she was quite shocked too. Needless to say she looked perfect, with her hair kindly caressing her shoulders, and light makeup job just to cover a few imperfections. She looked naturally beautiful, with a slightly silver dress and high heels. To complete it all she had a huge smile on her face, probably because in about 30 minutes the celebration would begin.

I, on the other hand, had to conceal all my strength not to scream when I saw myself in the mirror. My hair was all tamed and restrained; the makeup made me look like some sick distorted version of Tinkerbell, and my dress (chosen by my dear sister) was a lot shorter than I was used to. It wasn't by far promiscuous, but was something I would most definitely never wear. Oh yeah, and it was green. I really don't do colors, and she knew it. I hate Cissy.

I tried to argue with her but by no means I was able to negotiate another dress (or hair style, or nail polish). Argh. She'll pay me, I swear.

When we got there, Lucius was anxiously waiting, dressing a tux and with his hair on a pony tail, he got my sister hand and started dancing, with no music whatsoever. I got out as fast as I could, to avoid both the scene itself and possible comments on behalf of my ever so lovely brother in law about my clothes (or hair style or nail polish). When I reached the kitchen, thinking I was able to ignore his remarks, I heard from afar "Wow, you sister almost looks like a lady today. How did you manage that?". Fuck you Malfoy! I'll deal with you later.

When I got to the living room, I got to say I was stunned. Penelope Clearwater was somehow able to turn an already perfect room into something beyond words. The girl must really like Draco, because sure as hell she must have had a lot of work to do that.

It wasn't until almost nine I came to realize I had no idea about the Dark Lord surroundings, which only corroborated my theory about falling out of love with him. As if magic (lol) he appeared in front of me, on his usual non-nosal face and long black rob.

"Where are the Malfoys?"

"I believe they're in the living room, My Lord"

And he just went away, just like that.

A few minutes later people started to arrive, and among them came Rodolphus, as handsome as ever, with his hands entwined with that blonde bimbo. Will anyone notice if I make her hmm… how can I say? "disappear"?

The evening was going quite well, and things were flowing quite pleasantly, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to get up and mingle. My "date" was already gone, because he had "some things to take care of". Whatever, I wasn't feeling like being around him anyway. Watching the movement from where I was seated, I saw Rod dancing with that idiot. That was it, I needed to get some air. About 20 minutes after, while pacing and trying to cool off around the garden, I felt a hand touching my right shoulder. I didn't even need to turn around, I knew it was him.

"Bella?"

"Rod"

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just needed some air"

"Humm" – He stared at the grass, and slowly and shyly looked at me "You look quite nice"

"Are you mocking me?" – In a harsher tone than I intended

"Guess you want to be alone. I'll go inside then." – An he turned around, somehow disappointed, and started walking

"Rodolphus!"

"Yeah?"

Good one Bella! You called the guy without a damn thing to tell him. You should just be awarded the biggest fucking idiot in all England.

"Ahmm…"

He looked puzzled at my loss of words.

"You signed the divorce papers already?" – Yep, after this one you definitely will win that prize.

"No. But don't worry, soon enough you'll get officially rid of me" – He went away, obviously pissed.

"But I don't want to" – I said to myself, almost numb.

After building up some courage I was able to get up and go inside, just to catch the ending of their vows exchange, my sister was crying of course, and I have to say that Barbie doll wasn't too far behind. It was touching really, seeing a couple so devoted to each other. Damn it! What was that? I must be getting soft. I got to go kill something to balance it.