A/N: okay everyone, are you ready to read my next little one-shot thing? no? oh...well, i guess you're just going to have to do it anyways. see, i stumbled across a prompt-list with fifty writing prompts. and, because i'm incapable of ignoring lists like that, i decided to do some of the prompts. this is just the first one that caught my eye. a little bit on the short side but, eh, sometimes short things are all that my muse will allow.
Prompt - But That's Not My Real Name
Fullmetal.
That's what they call him. Day in and day out, over and over again. Like it's the only title he has. Like it's all that he has ever been. Oh, sure, it's his title in the military. Edward understands that - but it doesn't make it any easier.
To walk into the office and be greeted by a sharp nod and a brisk Fullmetal. Not Edward or Ed or Elric. Hell, he can't even remember the last time Havok slung a casual boss his way. Can't remember when he was last called Major.
It's just Fullmetal.
Always, always that cursed title. Stating that, though he may have brought his brother's body back and that he may have finally broken free from the Truth, he is still nothing more than a pawn. A dog, with a chain wrapped tight around his neck. One that grows ever tighter, that gets ever stronger, and that will never let go.
Yes, that's what he knew he was signing up for all those years ago. When he first became a State Alchemist. Edward knew the risk. Didn't care about the risk - and he still doesn't, no matter what Roy might say when the night grows late and the circles beneath his eyes grow dark.
Alphonse would still be trapped in a suit of armor if he hadn't joined the military.
But is it really that hard?
Edward doesn't know whether or not the others realize what's going on. He knows that, for a very long time, he didn't. Didn't realize that, everytime that awful name left someone's lips, he lost a little bit more of himself. Everytime he's called that.
Every God damn time.
He doesn't realize it until someone asks his name one day, when he's out in the town on his own. Edward doesn't even know who it was - all he remembers is that, when he opened his mouth to answer, it wasn't his name that came out. It was Fullmetal.
As if that was all that he had become.
To say it? To call me something else?
That single moment sets light to his world in a way that nothing else has. The chain wrapped around his throat squeezes and pulls and jerks, forcing him down onto his knees. Forcing him to realize, for the first time in a very long time, that he has not yet escaped. That he never will.
All those years ago? He signed away his entire life. Body. Soul. Even his identity. They no longer belong to him. They haven't in a very, very long time.
He wants to break.
Because it shouldn't be!
Edward doesn't. Instead, he backs away from whatever stall he was at, from whoever he was talking too. Then he turns and he walks, not runs, but walks back to HQ. Into the office that he shares with so many others - and where that horrid title once more greets him.
He grimaces. They freeze; and how long has it been since he did that? Quite a while, he thinks, quite a while indeed.
Without a word to them, he continues through the office. Walks through the heavy, oaken door that sits at the back. Near black eyes look up at him, a smirk dances across pale skin, and smooth words fill the room.
"Well, well, well. Back so soon, Fullmetal?" Roy asks - and then he does nothing but stare, because there is rage once more flowing through golden eyes. Hate that hasn't been there since Alphonse Elric came back from the Gate, almost two years ago.
That isn't my name!
The words leave Edward before he realizes it, just like he storms up to the Colonel's desk without really being aware of it. Slams both hands down on the top, scattering papers and forms, and narrows his eyes.
"My name is Edward." he hisses. And, without warning, the chain loosens just a little.