It's just your accidental death.
You're the Indian in the cougar's nest.
-Rilo Kiley, "Accidntel Deth"

-

This was something else.

Elaine was pacing back and forth down the hall, fists clinched on the strap of her bag. Internally she was, for lack of a better term, freaking out. On the outside her features were pressed into worry and anxiety. George sat, slumped into a pile of defeat and dread. Kramer was fidgeting next to him, head darting to every door that opened.

Elaine was the only one standing. Her mind was filled with scenarios. So many that she couldn't deal with them sitting down, squished between George and some guy with stomach pains. But most of all she was chanting this is not happening, this is not happening.

If Jerry dies today, things will fall apart. He was the glue, the one adhesive piece in her life. In the revolving door, the men hop in and out, but Jerry never leaves. There is a space just for him. Jerry's the one she can talk to. What if Jerry leaves? What will I have? For fuck's sake! What would I do?

She's making herself nauseous. Who is she kidding? We all made it through jail! This is going to work out alright. I mean, it's Jerry. Everything comes up roses for Jerry.

But what if it doesn't?

The doctor steps out into the waiting room, and she rushes up to him. George and Kramer were already standing up, and she joined them. Alarm bells were blaring, screaming at her to notice the pained way he ran his hands through his hair. She breathes in deep and the doctor looks her in the eyes.

He didn't make it.

How happy is a New Yorker allowed to be? There heads hang collectively. The doctor tells them that he is really sorry for their loss [as if he would say "eh, no big deal." Elaine cannot stand the pleasantries]. When his parents finally make it up here, it's all too much seriousness for Elaine to take. She isn't use to this, doesn't know how to deal with this.

She lost her best friend because some loser in an alley thought Jerry should have more in his wallet. There was so much violence here. She never really noticed it, or rather, was never scared it would hurt her like that. She used to love this city. Living here had made her life so colorful.

Her life used to be such a comedy. Now it's just like all the others.

-