A Day Late, an icarly fanfic

A Day Late
By Anberlin

(There's an acoustic version of this song as well as the original. Either one works. But since this is from Sam's POV, I feel like the original one has more appropriate passion. Lol, also, iOMG, iLost My Mind, and all the future episodes where Sam and Freddie are dating didn't happen in this one. It's not the typical Seddie fic, but this is my favorite one I've written so far.)

Sam's POV

So let me get this straight.
You say now you loved me all along.
What made you hesitate
To tell me with words what you really feel.

Are you fucking serious, Freddie? After all those years of me wishing it was me you loved, putting on a strong face when you kissed your girlfriend in the hallways at school, crying myself to sleep because you didn't feel the same way for me, you're crawling back now, telling me that you actually did love me back? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I can see it in your eyes: You mean all of what you say.
I remember so long ago, see I felt that same way.

I loved you so much, more than I could bear, but you didn't feel the same way, so I was the strong Puckett girl that everyone knew me to be, and I put on a plastic happy face and moved on. I tried so hard, and now here you are, making me realize that trying to move on was pointless because we could have been together all this time? Why are you doing this to me?

Now we both have separate lives and lovers.
Insignificantly enough, we both have significant others.

I'm with someone else now: a great guy who loves every part of me, even the bad parts. His name is David. He wasn't a coward; he told me how he felt. We were friends first, then he told me he thought he might like me and he wanted to date me for a little to see if we both liked the idea, and we went out, and we liked it, and we've been together for 6 months now. He's a great guy, and I'm happy with him.

Oh yeah, and how's Carly? Yeah, your girlfriend. Did you forget about her in this little confession of yours? You're with someone, Freddie, and she doesn't deserve to be stabbed in the back like this. She finally realized what a great guy you are and started dating you our senior year of high school and as hurt as I was, I was happy for you guys because I knew you were happy together.

And I didn't feel betrayed, because neither of you knew how I felt. That's right, she's my best friend and I never breathed a word of how I felt about you. Now it's the summer after our freshmen year of college, and you two are still together, yet here you are, telling me that I'm the one you really love. This isn't fair to me, Freddie, and it's especially not fair to poor Carly.

Only time will tell.
Time will turn and tell.

We are who we were when
Could've been lovers, but at least you're still my day late friend.
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we'd know now.
Could've been more, but at least you're still my day late friend.
We are who, we are who we were when.

There's a part of me that's happy with this closure, but that's all this is. I'm not leaving my boyfriend and hurting my best friend's feelings just to chase after a once-passionate dream of being with you as the girl you loved. I finally know that it's not that I did anything wrong that made you not like me; instead, it turns out I did everything right and it was just never the right time for us.

But thoughts they change and times they rearrange.
I don't know who you are anymore.
Loves come and go and this I know,
I'm not who you recall anymore.

I'm not the same girl I was in high school. I've matured. I know better than to drop things for something that might be nice, but is more likely to come back and bite me in the ass. You're not the nerdy tech boy I loved back then; you've changed. I can't put my finger on it, but you're not the same. Maybe it's because now you're looking at me with a face of earnest longing, hoping that I'll run away with you.

But I must confess you're so much more than I remember.
Can't help but entertain these thoughts, thoughts of us together.

I had endless silly daydreams of us walking hand-in-hand, of us listening to music on your bed together, of me walking down a church aisle to meet you. My dress was going to be strapless and cream-colored; not quite white, but could be mistaken for it in the wrong light. It was going to have red lacing down the back and red flowers stitched along the bottom. It's a little shiny, but not blinding. It reaches the floor and has a short foot-long train, but I won't kill myself by tripping over it. It was beautiful, but not the stereotypical fruity poofy wedding dress every girl wants. I remember falling in love with the picture and I imagined you'd fall even more in love with me when you saw me walking towards you in it. Oh well. Too late now. If only you weren't my day late.

Don't try to make me feel bad about this, about turning you down. I'm not being selfish; in fact, for the first time, I'm thinking of other people. I'm thinking of Carly and how devastated she'd be. After all the jackasses she's dated, she deserves someone like you who will love her and be her rock. I'm thinking of David and how confused and upset he'll be. He likes my craziness, since it's a fun crazy that won't kill him in his sleep. I'm his loving, goofy, crazy girlfriend, and he likes me that way. I can't just drop him.

And I'm thinking of you. You say after all these years, you still want me. But what about when you finally get what you want? Will you be as happy as you expect yourself to be, or will you just be guilty? I'm not as perfect as the image of me you have in your head. Maybe I look the same, but have you blocked out the abuse I put you through? I meant it flirtatiously, but you won't like it anymore if we start dating. And even if we were dating, I wouldn't stop. Wouldn't even ease up. I'm not perfect, I know I'm not, but I'm just imperfect enough for you to see my flaws once you have me fully vulnerable to you.

So let me get this straight.
All these years and you were nowhere to be found.
And now you want me for your own.
But you're a day late and my love, [he's] still renowned.

I love David. He's not you, but I love him and he loves me. Maybe I'll marry him, maybe we'll only last a few more months, but he worked up the courage to win me over. He tamed Shakespeare's Shrew and I'm his until we're done.

I love you, Freddie. More than you can ever believe. But I can't do this.

I'm not going to run away with you. You should go home to Carly.