A/N – Hello everyone, it's Kat here with another hopeless fanfiction that is actually an RP, edited to make it look slightly better. SLIGHTLY because it still sounds like English is not our first language, so… please pretend that is the case! Lmfao. My RP partner is izayaorihara18, who of course roleplays as Izaya in this fanfiction. I called this dank memes 'cause of how ridiculous it is, but funny and serious at the same time. SPOILER: It has nothing to do with memes. If you don't mind poor spelling and grammar at some points, go for it. If anything really bothers you, leave a review and I will definitely fix it. Keep in mind it is currently 5AM for me, so right now my motto is hakuna matata… Which basically means fuck it, right? On that note enjoy and if you want more please, please, please let us know!
Cliché Memes: Chapter One
Walking down the sidewalk in Ikebukuro, there weren't many people as usual since it was pouring out. Having his hoodie up, Izaya kept his hands in his pockets. Looking up ahead to see a familiar blonde, wondering if he should sneak up on him or leave. With a bored expression he just continued walking forward getting a better look until he stopped at a reasonable distance watching as you held an umbrella. "What are you doing out here in the rain~?" I smirked tilting my head, an amused expression on my face.
It was a boring day for Shizuo, despite having one of the most entertaining jobs... For people that actually enjoyed violence. It was the only type of job he could do, the only one employers would hire him for. The blond figured that everyone had a place in the world, even if they hates what they were stuck with. The ex-bartender stomped on a cigarette he had been puffing for the last ten minutes. His head snapped to the right when he heard the always annoying voice of Izaya Orihara. "Better question, what are you doing in my city?" Shizuo asked, cracking his knuckles.
"Don't worry about it I'm just stopping by for a visit, promise I won't take long." Maintaining a smirk, he kept my hands in his pockets breaking his distance as he walked closer to Shizuo, now only a few steps away from him, "anyways I guess I picked a bad time for our fight huh? It's pouring like crazy~." Izaya teased moving closer to him but not close enough.
Pulling out his pocket knife Izaya messed with it and soon pointed it in Shizuo's direction. "Don't you ever get tired of trying to get rid of me?"
"Don't you ever get tired of pissing me off?" Shizuo retorted with his own witty response. Honestly, today was one of the busiest days at work, and he was starting to feel mentally exhausted. He had no time to waste taking care of pest control, 'cause all he wanted to do was go home, relax and eat some cake. "I'm not going to hold back, Flea. Unlike you, I actually had a long day." Shizuo set his cake and umbrella down on a nearby table and unbuttoned his collar. Predictably, he grabbed the nearest trash can and whipped it at the ravenette's face.
"Nope!" Izaya teased, moving aside as Shizuo threw the trash can at him. "Well that didn't go as planned hmm?" Still holding his pocket knife, Izaya swiftly moved cutting Shizuo's left cheek. "You should stop before someone gets hurt." Izaya joked walking over, then stopped when he heard some kids running passed. The raven kept his gaze on Shizuo to see what he was planning on doing next. "Are you planning on throwing more stuff at me?" Izaya sighed, a little bored.
Shizuo roared to the point where inanimate objects around him rattled. Why did he even bother fighting Izaya? The raven dodged his attacks 80% of the time… but the other 20% was well worth every second. Shizuo knew when he hurt him, despite how casual Izaya appeared. Over the years Shizuo started to notice the little things, like the way his eyebrow twitched when something collided, the way he limped or clutched his side under his parka, little things like that. "One of these days, your stamina is going to fail and then I'm going to fucking kill you." Shizuo threatened, licking the blood that fell down his lips. The blond ran towards Izaya like a bull, aiming for his jacket.
"Tch," Izaya smiled standing there for a few seconds with his hands in his pockets before dodging again, swiftly keeping a good grip on his knife so he could swing. "Jeez I didn't do anything wrong but see you while I was walking by…" Izaya appeared behind Shizuo, lightly pressing his knife on his own cheek, slightly tired since he was busy all day. He didn't get enough sleep but it wasn't like it mattered. Izaya didn't need much sleep to begin with. "Are you going to turn around already?" Izaya sighed playfully.
"You didn't do anything wrong?" Shizuo laughed lowly, baffled. "Your entire existence is wrong. I don't need a fuckin' reason to fight you." Looking at the knife on Izaya's cheek, Shizuo imagined that knife digging into his skin. The thought pleased him, making him wish he could fight with knives.
Then again, Shizuo didn't need the power of a knife to fight, he had raw strength. "Why would I turn around?" Shizuo suddenly lunged forward, predicted Izaya's movements and grabbed on to his arm. "Look at you. You are weak, so you hide behind little knives." Shizuo's grip tightened, making Izaya let go of the weapon. "Do you really think I can't predict you by now?" The blond smacked his forehead against the raven's.
Gritting his teeth Izaya glared back, refusing to budge when Shizuo hit their foreheads together. Izaya moved his free hand, slamming his fist against Shizuo's face and breaking his sunglasses. "Hmph you're quite the work today aren't you..." Ignoring the blood seeping down his head, Izaya kicked Shizuo on to the ground & pointed a knife at his neck. "I'm going to cut your pretty little face." He hissed, having about enough of Shizuo talking shit.
Shizuo smiled, happily watching the blood seep down Izaya's face. The sight caught him off guard when Izaya broke his glasses and cut his face in the process. While he picked the glass off, Izaya swept his feet causing him to fall on the ground. Shizuo's honey eyes stared into crimson fiery orbs. Izaya was angry for some reason. He usually lapped up Shizuo's rage and turned it into comedy. "I guess your plan backfired, huh?" Shizuo said casually before bucking his hips and throwing Izaya off his lap. "I ain't gonna fight ya if you don't want to." The blond pulled out a smoke from his pocket and lit it.
Falling off Shizuo's lap Izaya got up & was about to say something before a random person pushed him over, causing him to slip and hit his head harshly on the cement. His eyebrow twitched as he held his head & finally slumped over from passing out cold. The raven was bleeding a bit more than he usually did
Shizuo's eyes widened from the next turn of events. It all happened so fast and it took a while for Shizuo to process it. Izaya fell, hit his head on the ground and passed out cold. "What the fuck." Shizuo's cigarette fell between his lips as he held back a laugh.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Is he okay!? Oh shit, that's Izaya Orihara… and you are Shizu-" The man who ran into Izaya froze in place.
Shizuo frowned and placed his hands in his pockets. He was extremely angry that someone other than himself knocked Izaya unconscious, especially since they were in the middle of a fight. "I'm going to give you ten seconds to run away." The blond threatened, and watched the man immediately flee. Shizuo knelt down beside Izaya and surveyed the cut on his head. The cut probably wouldn't have been this bad if he didn't hit Izaya in the head. Shizuo thought for a moment. He could leave Izaya out on the street to die, or he could have killed him right here, but that would have been too easy. Contrary to popular belief Shizuo hated playing dirty. "You're lucky I'm not like you, Flea." Shizuo picked Izaya up and walked to his apartment, planning to call Shinra when he arrived.
Shinra was sitting on the couch with Celty talking until he was interrupted by his phone ringing. Standing up Shinra answered the phone not bothering to look at the caller ID. "Hello? Yes, Shizuo? What's up?" After the discussion with Shizuo he was slightly surprised that it was about Izaya. He came over a few minutes later, walked over to the couch where he was laying unconsciously, checking the injuries, including the one on his head. He started tending to the wound which just needed a few stitches to stop the constant bleeding. After finishing the last stitch he decided to wrap gauze around Izaya's forehead to prevent infection, but it didn't look like anything too serious. "There you go. He should be fine now… It'll just take him a while to wake up from the impact he had earlier." Shinra said smiling.
"You look happy about this, you sick fuck." Shizuo rolled his eyes.
When Shizuo arrived home, he set Izaya on his couch and called Shinra. The phone call was incredibly awkward, explaining that he had an unconscious Izaya at his house with a gash on his forehead. Shizuo sat down on a recliner opposite to Izaya, tapping his leg nervously on the floor. As each minute passed, he started to regret his decision more and more. The doorbell finally rang and Shizuo got up to let Shinra inside. He watched Shinra stitch Izaya's wound, not fazed by that at all. There were many times Shinra tended to his wounds on the same couch, but never his arch-enemy.
"Thanks I guess…?" Shizuo asked, unsure of himself at the moment. He just finished his tenth cigarette since Izaya passed out.
"I have to say, I am extremely surprised that you helped Izaya… and brought him to your home. What were you thinking?" Shinra bravely asked.
"Shut up, I wasn't thinking obviously!" Shizuo angrily punched the arm of his chair, breaking it in half.
Shinra only jumped slightly, used to Shizuo's fits. "I only meant that it was an act of kindness, Shizuo. Even though you hate Izaya you didn't want him to die all alone… Maybe you like him more than you let on?"
"Don't push it, Shinra. I appreciate you coming over here an' everything… but don't get this backwards. I only saved him so I can kill him myself!"
"What do you mean…?" Shinra blinked, confused.
"He fell and knocked himself out, alright? I can't fight someone who's unconscious."
Shinra smiled. "Wow…" He paused. "I am sorry Shizuo; I'm afraid I can't take Izaya off your hands."
"What the hell do you mean!? I did this much, now it's your job to nurse him back to health."
"Says who? Yes, I am his friend, but Celty and I have other obligations. We are actually going on vacation soon. And don't even think about throwing Izaya in his apartment. He has a hit list, and I am pretty sure Namie isn't going to do anything about it."
Shizuo's jaw dropped. "Un-fucking-believable."
After their talk was almost over Shinra stopped at the door. "Oh but if Izaya loses his memory when he wakes up just call me. It's unlikely for that to happen, since the wound wasn't too bad but just to be safe." With that he left, and Izaya was still laying on the couch unconscious, not waking up any time soon.