Hello everyone, it's been about a year since I've written anything. I had a block, and plus I've been through a lot lately which prevented me from creating any stories. But I'm hoping that now, I can actually get some work done. Tonight is a beautiful night: a full moon, dark clouds, and it's quiet. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but that gives me insperation. :]

Well, I've started a fresh new start. I deleted all my stories from before because I have no love for them anymore. I'm going to start new stories that hopefully, will be even better. So I'll stop wasting your time if you took the time to read this. Now, enjoy the story.

Review, favorite, stuff like that and I'll know you like it and that will encourage me to keep writing! Thank you very much!

(This is an ANBU SasuNaru story. Just read, you'll catch on. Naruto's viewpoint, all of it.)

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A Lost Cause

It's been 4 years since Sasuke returned to Konohagakure, where he truly belongs. He returned right before my 17th birthday, and I couldn't have asked for a better birthday gift. I had my best friend back, the only one who truly knew what it was like to feel alone. No guidance from loving parents, no brothers or sisters to confide in, no grandparents, aunts or uncles, nothing. Though Sasuke had once had that, but his brother had taken them from him but left him alive. We all knew that story though. We also know my story, the boy who had the Kyuubi (Nine-tailed fox) sealed inside of him when only a baby by the Hokage at that time. So there's really no point in reviewing all of this.

You think I would be happy that Sasuke was back and that I could see him everyday again. Sakura was happy, of course. She had been immune towards love for Sasuke for a while, but who could really resist that Uchiha? She had fallen right back in love with him just last year. I gave her credit, she managed to resist for a whole year or so. But as you would assume, she returned to her vicious, overprotective, violent ways again. Ino and her fought like they were Academy students again, girls still swooned over Sasuke, he still didn't care, I still got jealous. All was where it should be, yet...I wasn't happy.

I wasn't sure why I was unhappy though, that was the odd thing. All of this had once made me happy before when I was 12 and just about the most stupid thing that ever walked the planet. But now, I was 19 years of age, I was an adult now. Well, legally I was an adult. But maturity wise, I'm still young and I know it. Though I'd never let anyone see that I was perfectly capable of being mature. It wouldn't be as fun, really. Plus, I am famous for making people underestimate me then turning it around so it bit them in the ass. It was the Uzumaki Naruto way, and everyone in Konoha knew that. Now that I was legally an adult, my love for what I had back then (besides ramen, that stuff is still fucking delicious!) doesn't appeal to me anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'd prefer this over what I had when I was 15, any day! I was happy to know that Sasuke was here to stay, and he wasn't going anywhere. But there was just something missing...something I was craving.

----

It was early summer, June something...I didn't keep track. Kakashi-sensei and Sakura had invited me to eat at some kind of restaurant that I bet Lee would have liked. Most of their food was spicy, and there was no ramen. I had just ordered a few dumplings, which was very odd for me, I'll admit. I was busy chewing on the tip of the straw that was floating in my iced tea, with my chin resting in my hand. I was watching a bird fly around in loops happily, then rest itself on a electrical wire.

"Naruto, are you okay? You haven't eaten anything."

"Hm?"

I looked over at my two teammates and former teacher, they were all watching me. One concerned face, one half concerned, and one not concerned at all. Sakura had been the one who talked to me, she was waiting for an answer.

I released the straw from my mouth and gave her a genuine smile and a thumbs up. "Yeah, Sakura-chan! I'm great! Just not that hungry, that's all! Hahaha!"

"You know,...not every answer requires a stupid mouthful of laughter."

My laughter had been cut short and I glared over at Sasuke, the one who had made the rude comment (as always). "Well, excuse me! Maybe some of us have more than one emotion. Look, I'm Sasuke, I have to talk like this so people will swoon over me. And I have to have one expression alll the time."

I had been making a face as if I was sea-sick and using the deepest voice I could manage. Then I felt an extreme stinging pain in my face as my head swung to the side while being accompanied with a cracking sound.

"NARUTO! YOU BAKA! DON'T TALK TO SASUKE LIKE THAT!"

"Now, now. Let's try to pretend that we're maturing adults here, children."

As I rubbed my face, Kakashi gave a little side note that I knew was mostly towards Sakura. She had such a temper, it was scary. My eyes were locked onto Sasuke, who's eyes were locked onto mine as well. He then looked away, obviously getting bored with watching me.

"Hey, Kakashi? I think I'm going to go for a stroll or something." I stood up, my stomach didn't want a thing to eat. I had no clue why.

"Are you sure, Naruto? You should probably eat something first. Shinobi need their fuel, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I'll eat some ramen when I get home or something."

"Well, alright then...Remember, you three have a mission tomorrow. Be ready by the break of dawn."

"Gotcha', Kakashi-sensei!" I gave a little salute while smiling then turned on my heel and began walking off.

When I was a good distance away from the small group and there was hardly anyone around, I started to talk to myself. I had been doing it a lot more than usual, it kind of helped my mind unlock.

"Is there something wrong with me? ...you think I'd be happy, my skills have been improving, I'm an ANBU now, my friends are all alive, Sasuke's back, I'm no longer a little kid. What's up with me lately? It's starting to bug me now."

"Talking to yourself?"

"AH!"

I jumped from the voice that had suddenly spoken and sounded like it was right beside me. I had stopped walking and I threw my arms in defense dramatically, my left eye twitching and my jaw dropped. I was pretty sure I looked like I was trying to evolve into a new species. But it didn't last long, because it was just Sasuke. He was standing there, in a ANBU outfit that mirrored my own.

"SASUKE! Teme! You don't just follow someone, not talk, then whisper in their ear like a pedophile! Ya' creep!"

I guess he found this amusing, because he gave a soft smirk then removed one hand from his pockets and used it to smack my forehead. It gave me a little stumble backwards, which didn't help my angry mood with him.

"Relax, you dobe. Kakashi told me to follow you and make sure you didn't walk into a telephone pole and injure your delicate self."

Oh, he knew how to get under my skin! He started walking again, but I ran to catch up and walked beside him. I dropped the little arguement; Sasuke and I hardly got to talk by ourselves. So it was kind of pointless to spend it doing what we usually did,...I guess.

"So, you did? Aw, Sasuke! You DO care!"

"No. I don't care, I'm only making sure I have another partner for tomorrow's mission. The more, the better."

"Well, jeez. Don't sugar-coat it, teme."

We talked in silence for a little longer, which was fine by me. But it was also a little awkward since we were heading for the quietest part of Konoha. A little hot springs surrounded by a tiny forest. It was pretty, but it was kind of where lovers went to, um...Do that lovey-dove stuff in the hot springs. But the forest was basically never occupied at all.

"So, are you going to tell me what's on your mind? Or do I have to shake it out of you?"

"Wha-?"

"You know what I mean."

Sasuke always saw right through me, and I should have known by now. I looked away, pursing my lips together as if I thought that would be an answer. Sasuke didn't give any signal that he was content with it. Sighing, I started rambling on, not sure if it made any sense.

"I've just been thinking...It's been four years since you've returned. Things are basically like they used to be, except we're no longer Genin and we're ANBU. But,..."

"But?"

"But...I'm not happy with any of it."

Sasuke stopped walking and so did I. He turned to me, his eyes narrowed and his gaze hard. "Aren't you the one who begged me to come back all the time? The one who chased me down because you wanted this?"

I was a little shocked Sasuke had actually been listening, so I was thrown off gaurd. "I-..."

"And now you're saying that you don't want it?"

"No! No, I'm not saying that! I'm content, but I'm just not...content enough, I guess. I guess I want something,...I don't know...more."

A soft chuckle came from Sasuke as he shook his head and positioned himself to a sit on a tree root that arched its way out of the ground to make a nice seat. "Naruto, Konoha doesn't have much more than this to offer."

"Sasuke...why do you say stuff like that?"

"Like what?"

"You talk so negatively about your home. This is where you were born and where you grew up. You don't feel any sort of connection, whatsoever?"

"I never said that."

"Well, it sounded like it."

Then there was silence. I'm not sure how long it lasted, mostly because I had been thinking during most of it. But Sasuke broke the silence eventually.

"So...what do you want?"

I watched him, he was watching me as I thought. What did I want? Did I want to become stronger? Of course, I've always wanted that. Well, if it's not that, and it's not to become Hokage, then what was it?

"I'm not sure. It's just one of those things...you know you want it, but you're not sure what it is."

"I've never had that."

I rolled my eyes then smacked the air with my hand, the contact being silent. "Shut up, Sasuke. You're not helping at all!"

This time Sasuke sighed, and he ran a hand through his dark hair before looking at me with a slightly tilted head.

"So, if you don't know what it is...find out what it is. Don't just sit here, moping about it. Do something about it instead. I can't believe I have to tell you that, of all people."

I thought about what he had said for a moment, my finger tapping my chin multiple times. I guess he was right. Sulking about wasn't going to help anything, it was only going to worsen mood and attract attention. The kind of attention that I actually dislike and don't want. So, for once, I'd take Sasuke's advice. I'd figure out what it is that I've been yearning for, and I'd get it. I promised myself right there and then that no matter what it turned out to be, I'd get it.

"Yeah...you're right!"

"You know..."

I looked back up, his tone catching my attention. I'd never really heard Sasuke use such a tone, and I wasn't sure exactly what kind of tone it was. But it wasn't his usual low, uncaring tone. He was also slowly taking steps towards me, his arms at his side. It looked like he was about ready to come up and choke me.

"You aren't an adult yet, you're still technically a teenager...Your hormones are raging still, and probably even worse now since I'm just about sure that you have never done anything. I wouldn't be surprised if what you want..."

"What are you getting at, teme?"

"Maybe you want sex, Naruto. You could be bored, you never know."

I felt my cheeks grow really warm, and I knew I was blushing from embarrassment. I was staring up at Sasuke since he was still taller than I was.

"Sasuke...! You perv...!"

Both of his eyebrows raised as he finally stopped, a small amount of space was between us. His eyes were burning into mine with such intensity, it made me feel like a bug under a microscope. I had no clue what he was thinking, and half of me didn't want to know. Yet, there was another half of me that was dying to know what it was he was thinking at this exact moment.

"I'm serious. You're a male, and still a teenager. Most likely a virgin too,...no, you are a virgin. I can't believe I even considered that. You should really hook up with someone, Naruto. Before you're fifty years old and single."

My mouth was hanging open at everything he just said. He was mocking me because I was a virgin, and on top of it, he was telling me that I should date someone! Did he even have room to talk? My whole life, not once had I ever seen Sasuke holding hands with a girl. Yet he had the guts to tell me how to live my love-life. He was just full of surprises.

"Excuse me? I've never seen you with anyone! When have you ever dated someone!?"

"Who says I needed to date?"

"...you're disgusting!"

I turned around and began stomping off. I really regretted the second part of this conversation, and if I were to review it over in my head, I wouldn't be able to remember what got us to this conversation of sex. I highly doubted that was what I was yearning for. Sasuke was just a secret pervert, a pervert just like Kakashi and Jiraiya. I knew now that Sasuke was one sly person, he had been sleeping around these past 4 years. Well, for his sake, I hope he didn't have some kind of STD. It made me sick to my stomach just thinking about it all. Especially Sasuke and some girl, in bed...

"UGH! That's so disgusting! It's going to be in my head all night!"

----

It was going on midnight, and I had just brushed my teeth and gotten in my boxers. My bag was all packed; I was all set to go for the mission tomorrow!

Getting in my bed, I set the alarm clock for a early time. Way earlier than I usually would get up at. When I had nothing to do, I'd sleep in very late. Sometimes if I was extremely tired, or just extremely lazy, I'd sleep until 1-3 in the afternoon! Then usually, the result would be me staying up almost all hours of the night. It was really unhealthy, and not to mention, it was a pain to break a habit like that. Iruka, basically my father figure, always nagged me about that. He told me that one day, it's going to severely effect me one day. He was probably right, but not many people cared about what would happen to them down the road. That's why they dyed their hair, slacked off in school, and hell, they even smoked!

Laying down, I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. And wouldn't you know it, a mental video of Sasuke's and my conversation began playing unwillingly. His words rang right through my head as clear as a bell.

"Maybe you want sex, Naruto. You could be bored, you never know."

I gazed down my body that was covered with my blanket and was only visible thanks to the moonlight that shined down into my room. Was I really just...sexually bored? Could Sasuke be right? If so, then should I really get a girlfriend or something to help with the situation?

"NO! That's disgusting, Naruto! Besides, that's not what girlfriends are supposed to be for...Well, only when you get serious. But relationships are supposed to be based on love and commitment. That's what Iruka says, so that's what it is."

I pushed my bottom lip into my mouth and ran my tongue along it, back and forth for a few times. Then I gently bit it and sucked for a moment. It was just a thinking tactic.

"I guess I could...NO! Just go to sleep, Naruto. You have a mission tomorrow, you need to sleep."

Turning onto my stomach, I sighed and closed my eyes. I relaxed and then let everything just slowly melt away from my mind. I was able to forget everything just for the moment, I had been unknowingly exhausted. I fell asleep within a minute.

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Well, that's chapter 1 for you. It's almost 3:30 as I finish this up. So I'm pretty tired, I'm sure I'll be able to sleep now. Yaaay. :D Anyway, just to let you all know, I'm trying not to give out the few spoilers that I actually know, myself. And to answer questions that I'm sure I'll get:

Yes, Naruto was thinking about masturbation. Yes, there will be "love" scenes if you know what I mean. Who would read it if it was just boring old kissing? Come on, now. No, I do not like Sakura and she will have a little mean-ness to her now and later on. Sorry, Sakura-lovers. No offense or anything! Yes, I will be updating very soon! So read away. My life only evolves around myspace, yaoi, anime, roleplaying, writing, and Queer as Folk. Basically. :] Anyway, I'm going to bed. Hope you all liked it!

Thanks so much for reading! Look out for chapter 2!