NOTE: Hi. This idea popped into my head one night. It was getting distracting after a few weeks so I decided to write it down and post it here. Hope you like it.

Bazaar Week was one of Magnolia's sporadic events that occurred when the merchants traveling through town were numerous enough to warrant seven days of peddling wares to help boost the local economy. That and to allow certain types among the populace to procure certain products that would have alarmed the Magic Council.

While most of the vendors set up their stalls along Central Path and the market square, one particular businessman set up his yurt on one of the many hills overlooking Magnolia. The lot was wide enough to accommodate his vast collection of oddities, rare trinkets, and portable distillery while the surrounding wildlife were effectively dissuaded from ransacking the place thanks to the strong fumes that followed the smoke pluming out of the top.

It did not take long for word to reach the locals about the unusual and allegedly "miracle-working" tonics that were being peddled outside town. An experienced shopper would have steered clear but, of course, there were those who were either curious or desperate. Or stupid.

Natsu and Gajeel had decided on their own initiatives to visit the so-called 'Tonic Peddler' after picking up on the fanfare. Apparently, he was the only one man in all of Fiore (and perhaps even the whole continent) who was selling a long-term antidote to motion sickness. And he was just outside Magnolia for a week. After that, poof.

"You've got to be kidding," Lucy protested. "The guy's shady!"

"Troia spells don't work on me, anymore, Luce," Natsu argued. "Unless you want to put up with me every time we travel on...trains...and carriages..." He stopped himself to avoid the bile from rising.

"Fine, I get your point but there are other solutions out there! I'm sure there are better, legal alternatives to that stuff."

"Never said it was illegal," he countered. "Come on, Happy. We got some medicine to purchase!"

"Aye, sir!" the blue exceed cheerfully agreed, sprouting wings and following Natsu out the doors of the Fairy Tail guild hall.

"Natsu, wait!" Lucy stood and made to chase after them, eventually disappearing into the street. "Do you even have enough money to pay for that?"

Meanwhile, in the far back, Gajeel made to stand only to be tugged back down by Lily. He scowled at the darker exceed. "What?"

"I know what you're thinking. I don't think it's wise," Lily warned.

"Come on," Gajeel growled. "I think it's worth a shot. Besides, I'll see what happens to Salamander first."

The exceed only sighed. Then plopped down to the floor to follow him outside. "I'll make sure you don't regurgitate."

"Welcome, welcome!" the Tonic Peddler jovially greeted.

While Natsu and Happy found the interior to be fascinating, Lucy could read 'suspicious' and 'illegal' all over the many glass jars, potions, and whatever ingredients were used to make the stuff in them. That and the pungent scent that permeated the tent was...soothing. Somewhat. It was giving her a weird feeling in her stomach yet was so calming.

"Name your poison," the vendor began, causing Lucy to stop in her tracks with wide eyes. "Or alchemical solution. I have both and more, ha-ha!"

"I'll have that stuff that kills motion sickness," Natsu raised eagerly, completely ignoring the large eyeball submerged in a glass jar near his arm that just moved to look at him.

The Peddler nudged his stubble. "Motion-sickness... Yes, that's right. I have what you need. Wait here, sir."

Lucy walked up to her partner as the merchant disappeared behind a shelf of...things. Weird, freaky things that looked as though they were moving on their own despite the fact that each one was soaked in some kind of preservative. "Natsu, are you sure about this? I don't like the feel of this place."

"Aw, everything's fine, Luce! Trust me. I can't even sniff out anything weird here," he cheerfully replied. "In fact, you're the only weird thing here! Right, Happy?"

"Aye..."

"Happy?"

The two wizards saw the exceed gawking dumbly at a large aquarium to the far right, housing a peculiar school of fish. Or what looked like fish. Well, the things swimming in the container had fins. And fingers. And human ears. And eyes that just looked at them! Lucy made to pull him away for the sake of his sanity. For all she knew, Happy could be under the spell of those...aquatic things.

Natsu tilted his head. "Nice fish."

Lucy made to quip when the Peddler appeared and plopped a rounded flask on the desk. The strong greenish tint on the glass masked the true color of the liquid sloshing inside it which, to the celestial mage, was not assuring in the least.

"Sweet! How much?"

"You're seriously going for it!?" Lucy snarked.

The vendor rapped his fingers against the hardwood before declaring, "Because I have a good feeling about you, I'd be willing to let this go for five hundred Jewel."

"Five hundred Jewel? Alright!" Natsu then suddenly turned to Lucy. "Hey, Luce, you got five hundred on you?"

"As if!"

"Come on, it's not even that expensive."

"It's practically cheap," Happy added.

"Cheap enough to make me want to call the army," Lucy growled. She eyed the Peddler who only grinned at her, looking smug and innocent. Then she noticed that Natsu was still staring at her with his hand out. "You can't be serious."

"Just five hundred and I'll pay you from the money on our next job."

From behind the counter, the Tonic Peddler only grinned, amused to see the customers bicker in front of him. This was such a joyous first day. Word of mouth spread like wildfire and he could practically feel the Jewel sitting in his palms before he saw it come out of the blonde's purse. Business would be booming in the next seven days; he was sure of it.

"Sweet!" Natsu cheered, holding up the flask. "Say, how long does the effect usually last?"

"Well, three gulps should keep away the nausea for at least a week," the vendor explained. "The whole bottle should last a month if you travel very often."

"Wow, if it's that potent then I'll just chug this down and take on all those long-distance jobs."

"Natsu," Lucy pleaded behind grinding teeth. "I don't think you should take that lightly. Who knows what it could really do! I mean, I don't trust this place."

"Have some faith, Luce. From now on, you won't have to worry about me barfing out the window every time we take the...train." Natsu paused to swallow some air. "Hell, we could take more of those high-paying escort jobs!"

The celestial mage looked to her only solace around but the blue exceed was back in front of the aquarium, face and paws pressed against the glass. "Really, Happy!? How is that even appetizing!"

"The fish aren't for sale, I'm afraid," the Peddler remarked.

"Not interested!" Lucy growled, dragging both the fire dragon slayer and the exceed outside.

Not long after, the flap flew open and a larger man with piercings and rough spiky hair occupied the space in front of the counter. A small black cat with a scar and a sword followed suit. He was rather gruff but straight to the point despite his pet's protests.

"Motion-sickness, eh? Hold on, my good sir. I have just the cure for you."

Gajeel looked around and tried to appear nonplussed by the trinkets and odds and ends and are those human-finger-fish? "What the hell...?"

"I guess there's a reason why it's called Bizarre Week," Lily chimed, poking at a stuffed pygmy head.

"It's Bazaar Week, but yeah. This is just...bizarre."

A thunk returned their attention to the vendor. The iron dragon slayer could feel a vein about to pop in his temples. In front of him was clearly a whiskey bottle with the label haphazardly ripped off and topped by a cork that had already been skewered. Inside was a thick cherry fluid that reminded him of cough medicine.

"Is this it?"

The Peddler nodded. "One thousand Jewel."

Grumbling, Gajeel forked over the cash and eyed the bottle carefully. It was obvious that the container was recycled and whatever was sloshing inside looked like it had been cooked up in the back of an alley. Probably made from the same stuff that was all around him in this freaky-ass tent. "This better be worth it."

"Oh, I assure you, it is damn well worth the price," the vendor said with a smile. "You'll feel the effects in an instant. Three gulps and you'll be enjoying your train rides without worry for a week."

"A week, huh?"

"I don't even know why you even believe what he's telling you," Lily groused. "I doubt that would even work."

Gajeel ignored him. He made his way outside, despite the tiny voice in his head that screamed at him that he was being scammed. He was more concerned about finally being relieved from the damn side effect of being a dragon slayer. Even for a week. Just seven days to actually enjoy a non-gut-churning train-ride—a luxury denied of him. That would make all those far-flung jobs easier.

It was an odd sight, to be sure. Most teams huddled together around their own tables but on this particular day, the guild hall appeared to be segregating two spheres of influence (if there was no better description for it). On the right, Natsu was completely isolated from his everyone around him; Lucy, Gray, Juvia, and even Happy were keeping their distance. Three tables away and mum.

Across the hall, on the far left corner, the same could be said for a sulking Gajeel. The fact that Levy and Pantherlily sat behind Jet and Droy four whole yards away spoke volumes. Both groups were completely reticent. It was as though the dragon slayers were infected with some sort of virus. And it seemed so serious that no one was even talking. Let alone moving.

"A bad day to be a dragon slayer," Cana slurred from the end of the bar.

"You'd think they'd be happy that they completed their jobs without incident," Mira said.

Cana chuckled. "Without incident, huh. You ever noticed something about their last job, right?"

"That Natsu and Gajeel managed to work together without causing a scene? Or maybe the long distances?"

"Hah! More than that. They both had to ride the trains and you know how they get all motion sick."

"I can understand that." Mira stopped what she was doing and raised her hands to cup her mouth. "Oh my...did they...vomit? Was it that bad?"

Cana burst into raucous laughter before settling against the polished hardwood. Wiping away a tear, she gulped down a fresh bottle and grinned like a cheshire cat. "It was much better!"

"So they didn't vomit?"

"You know that weird potion tent just outside of town?"

Mira pondered a bit. "The 'Tonic Shop', right? 'Tonic Peddler'?"

"Yep. Apparently, Natsu and Gajeel believed that the guy had a big-time cure to their motion sickness. So he sold them a bottle each."

"And?"

Cana had already emptied her spirits and reached for another while trying to contain her bubbling laughter. "It actually worked. They weren't motion sick for the whole five hours of the trip!"

"That's great to hear."

"But...but there was a side-effect that got left out during the transaction." Before she continued, Cana belched out another laugh that was loud enough to earn her the glares of both Natsu and Gajeel from their respective corners of the hall. "I don't know if the guy was screwing with them because the medicine doubled as a super strong laxative."

Mira felt her jaw drop. So that explains... "Oh."

"You could imagine those two lug-heads trying to keep themselves from shitting all over their seats for hours while the train rumbled. Hah! It cracks me up just thinking about it!"

"Oh, well. At least they didn't...let themselves go."

Cana stared at Fairy Tail's poster girl as she went back to wiping the plates clean. She waited until she looked back at her.

"Yes, Cana?"

"Oh, they let themselves go alright."

Mira's eyes went wide. Her hands froze mid-wipe.

"There were some bandits on the train but when they saw the boxcars full of shit...and the cargo covered in shit...and, and"—Cana wheezed, nearly choking on her alcohol—"Happy crying because his wings were covered in shit! Oh shit, ha-ha! No one wanted to rob the train! They all wanted to get out because it smelled so bad. I think the conductor fainted before they reached Hargeon."

"That's...quite descriptive."

"It gets better," she continued. "You see, the smell was so bad that when the train rolled into the station, the passengers almost caused a stampede from trying to get out. I mean, the package was fine but cleaning it cost the client so much that he had to halve the pay."

Mira forced a smile despite the retching feeling in her stomach. Not like she was going to have lunch today. Neither did the other guild wizards that accompanied the rather unfortunate dragon slayers on that mission. "At least they ensured the goods reached their destination and they came out of it in one piece."

"Guess who cleaned up the mess."

The bartender tried not to look in the direction of both Levy and Lucy.

Cana plopped the empty bottle on the bar and sighed. "I feel bad for them, you know? Thinking about how many times they had to shower, how much deodorizer lacrima they burned through just to get rid of the smell... Man, getting that stuff splashed all over you really sucks."

Mira raised her hands. "I get the point, Cana."

"Makes you wonder. What exactly did Natsu and Gajeel eat before they took the job? I heard there were chunks—"

"Cana, why don't you see the request board for some work, eh?"

Cana shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, we could visit the Tonic Peddler later."

Mira opened her mouth but stopped herself. She paused then eyed the various people in the guild. All the potential couples that needed a gentle push to get them there. Her lip curved slightly into a smirk. "Not today."

ORIGINALLY DRAFTED: October 31, 2017

LAST EDITED: November 1, 2017

INITIALLY UPLOADED: October 31, 2017

NOTE: I've written down a few other scenarios involving other Fairy Tail mages and the mysterious tonics they happened to purchase from the Tonic Peddler as well as their unique side-effects. I'll probably type them up soon...if I'm not busy or lazy.