Boku no CROSSOVER CRISIS!
Issue 1: The Grand Cross-Over Event Begins! Fifteen Minutes of Predictable Chaos!
Please note: desktop readers will likely have an easier viewing this story in a font other than Verdana. To select a different reading font, click the large A in the center above the title. Mobile readers should be fine as is.
On the first page, the sun shines down on one of the fake cities on the grounds of U.A. High. A caption to the side reads, Replica City District E. U.A. High. All Might's patented Fearless Laugh rings out over the empty buildings. "Ha HA HA!"
Down by the training area's entrance gates, the famed Symbol of Peace strikes a properly heroic pose. Class 1-A, dressed in costume, gathers around him.
"For today's practical lesson," All Might says, "we'll be doing the first of what will be many Teamwork Drills! The scenario should be familiar to everyone who took the entrance exam. Somewhere in the city, a group of villains lurks, plotting unmentionable evil! This time, however, you'll be working as a team to drive them out of hiding and capture them with your powers!"
On the next page, he draws a white ball out of a box. "In order to test your leadership skills, for each exercise, we'll be selecting both a leader and a second-in-command at random! Today's captain will be - YOUNG KIRISHIMA!" He brandishes the ball, which bears the name Red Riot in silver letters.
The hot-blooded student pumps his fist. "ALL RIGHT!"
"And his executive officer will be -" All Might draws another ball. "- MINETA!"
A cartoonish nosebleed drips down the short purple-clad student's face. "You mean - everyone except Kirishima has to do whatever I say? Including the girls?!"
This elicits a number of groans. On the next page, Kirishima immediately cuts in. "Okay, ladies - first order. Feel free to ignore any of Mineta's commands that don't relate to the assignment."
Jirou lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God."
Tsuyu gives a thumbs-up. "You're the best, Kirishima!"
Undeterred, Mineta rubs his hands together evilly. "Oh-ho! That just means I have to get creative..."
You know, every day, Izuku Midoriya - also known as Deku - thinks as he stands towards the back of the crowd, I'm kind of shocked that Mineta hasn't gotten the school sued for harassment yet.
Anyway - it's probably a good thing that Kirishima's in charge this time around. He's the only one in the class Kacchan might listen to. Deku eyes his former childhood friend Bakugou, who looks away from him with a typical annoyed sneer. Well, okay... emphasis on might.
Next page. "Now that that's settled - let the battle be joined!" All Might waves his hand as the training gate behind him opens.
"Right! I'm all charged up!" Kirishima slams his fist into his palm. "Let's go, people!"
"Stay in formation, everyone!" Iida barks. A caption next to him notes, still acting like he's in charge, even though he's not right now. "I don't want to see anyone not listening to Kirishima's orders!"
As a group, Class 1-A charges into the training grounds. Well... however this goes, it'll be a learning experience, Midoriya thinks.
"Let's go, Deku!" Uraraka glances back and smiles at him.
"R-right!" Midoriya answers.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Site E...
A voice groans out weakly from inside a back-alley dumpster. "Uuurggghhh... anyone get the name of that truck?..." A red-clad hand reaches out and grasps the edge of the dumpster's opening.
Spider-Man pulls himself out of the otherwise empty container. "My head... what happened? Where am I?" A box next to him reads: SPIDER-MAN! Real name: Peter Parker! Occupation: High school science teacher! Quirk: Does whatever a spider - aww, you know how it goes!
Okay, let's think about this... The hero crawls out of the dumpster and drops to the ground. He wanders towards the alley's exit, still clutching his head. I don't feel drunk... I'm in costume... last thing I remember, I was out on patrol... A flashback panel next to him shows him web-slinging through New York. Suddenly, he looks up, his eyes widening as something speeds towards him, the panel fading to white. My spider-sense suddenly went off and... wait, was I hit by lightning?! Ohhhh, that's not good...
First things first... On the next page, the webslinger pulls a smartphone out from his belt. Let's give Mary-Jane a call. She must be worried sick... He tries to wake up the phone. The slightly-cracked screen stays black. "Oh, come on... I'm still making payments on you!"
"CONTACT!" Mineta shouts from off-panel.
"- huh?!" Spider-Man feels that familiar, hideous tingle at the back of his mind.
The hero leaps over two stories into the air, his eyes wide, as the ground beneath him explodes without warning!
On the next page, Bakugou elbows Mineta aside. "Outta my way, shorty!"
"Hey!" The shorter student flails helplessly. "You're supposed to be following my orders, remember?!"
"I'm surprised," Hanto Sero, better known as Cellophane, mutters nearby. "I thought for sure we'd be fighting more robots, but I guess they got outside heroes to play the villains this time. You recognize him?"
Next to him, Tokoyami shakes his head. "Never seen him before."
"Seriously?" Spidey demands from no one in particular as he clings to the side of the alley wall. "Can't I get just one morning without someone trying to kill me?" He shoots a webline off panel.
On the next page, Bakugou roars and throws out another explosion. "DIE!" The webcrawler swings away as the alley wall dissolves.
"I've got him!" Cellophane throws his sticky tape after Spidey, managing to tag the older hero's foot.
"Woah!" Surprised, Spider-Man lets go of his webline and lands on the wall of a building across the street. Who are these kids?! he thinks. Doesn't sound like they're speaking English... He reaches down and, with some effort, rips the tape apart. He glances down and sees a bit of it still stuck to his hand. "Huh. Not bad." He aims. "But try this on for size!"
Tokoyami leaps back as the webline slams into Cellophane, who grunts in surprise as he's thrown back. He finds himself webbed to the building behind him. "Crap! What is this stuff?!"
"Stand STILL, you %+$%+*#!" Bakugou flings out another series of explosions.
On the next page, Spider-Man dodges and weaves through the barrage of explosions, guided by his extraordinary senses. "That's - really - not - gonna - work - chief!" He finishes by leaping clear away from the facade he's on as Bakugou's last detonation cracks it apart.
Only to be surprised in mid-air as a long tongue wraps around his chest. "- huh?!"
Tsuyu clings to the roof of a nearby building on all fours. "Nice, Tsu!" Uraraka pumps her fist. Behind the two girls and Tentacole, Deku stares down at the carnage in front of them, a large sweatdrop on his face. He thinks, should've known Mineta wouldn't be able to keep Kacchan in check...
"Gotcha!" The frog girl tosses her head to the side, flinging Spider-Man further down the block.
"Woah!" The webhead tumbles through the air, desperately scanning for someplace to catch onto to and stop his fall -
- when a gigantic hand suddenly closes around him.
"Got your back, Spidey!" On the next page, a gigantic Ms. Marvel grins down at him and flashes him a thumbs-up as she steps out from behind a building. The text box next to her reads: MS. MARVEL! Real name: Kamala Khan! Occupation: high school student/total geek! Quirk: She can grow and stretch her body to almost any shape or size! She can even look like other people, if she concentrates!
"Ms. Marvel?..." Spider-Man asks weakly from her palm.
"Are we teaming up again? Where are - ohmigod, are we in Japan?! We're in Japan!" The girl's eyes goggle as she scans the unfamiliar cityscape. "Dude! I have to go shopping! Where's the nearest anime store?! Or doujin shop. I'm not picky -"
She reels back as an explosion clips the top of her head. "- ow."
"Focus, Ms. M!" Spider-Man leaps out of her hand and swings away on a webline, his eyes narrowed. "I'm getting real sick of that grenade kid..."
Down in the street, Tokoyami rushes down the block, wings of shadow spreading from his back. "I've got the big one!" the bird-headed student shouts. "Everyone else, focus on the one with the spider quirk!" Behind him, Mineta tries to pull the webbing off of Cellophane.
"Dammit, don't order me aro - !" Bakugou stops mid-sentence as Spider-Man's web slams into him, covering him from the belly button down. "Oh, you did not just -"
"Here he comes," Tentacole says quietly.
"Uraraka." Tsuyu glances over to the other girl. "Lighten me up, could you?"
"On it!" Uraraka slaps Tsuyu's back. The frog girl launches herself into the air and streaks towards Spider-Man like a missile.
Meanwhile, Deku stares into the distance. That giant girl, he thinks. Something doesn't feel right here...
"Woah!" Spider-Man lets go of his web early and dives beneath Tsuyu as she hurdles by. She turns her head and lashes out at him with her tongue. He twists around in mid-air, barely managing to dodge before firing off another webline. So - I guess that girl's a frog or something? Because that's a thing? he thinks. Who the heck are these kids? And where - "CRAP!" A beam of light suddenly lances through his webbing, breaking the line.
"Not to worry, mes amis!" Down on the street, Yuuga Aoyama strikes a dramatic pose. "The calvary has arrived!"
"Sorry we're late!" Kirishima pants as he and four other students - Kaminari/Chargebolt, Sugar Man, Jirou, and Yaoyorozu - catch up to their flamboyant classmate. "We ran into some robots a few blocks down -"
"Oh, come on! How many more of you are there?!" Spider-Man tumbles down onto the rooftop across the street from Deku's team, flipping over before catching himself against a skylight. Unfortunately, his hand goes straight through the fake glass, entangling him in the metal ribs. In the distance behind him, Ms. Marvel locks hands with Tokoyami's immense shadow form, her teeth gritted.
On the other rooftop, Uraraka glances over to see Deku grabbing onto a ladder. "Hey, where're you going?!"
"I'm gonna go check something out! I'll be right back!" Deku slides down the fire escape.
"Gimme a boost up there, Satou!" Kirishima grins, his skin hardening into armor.
His larger classmate nods and, with one hand, tosses Kirishima high into the sky. Spider-Man looks up to see Kirishima arc through the air and hurdle towards him, his hands raised. "HERE IT COMES!" the student yells.
Then something collides with him mid-air, knocking him completely off-course. "Oof! - AGGGHHH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF -"
"Get 'im, Tippie!" a voice shouts from off panel.
Kirishima tears off the thing that's latched onto his face - and finds himself staring dumbly at the small furry creature in his hands, a pink ribbon wrapped around her neck. "Buh - a squirrel?! What -"
"- ow." He lands on top of Bakugou, sticking to the webbing on him. The squirrel takes advantage of the moment to bound free of his hands and rush away.
"OH THAT IS IT!" Bakugou growls, sparks flying from his hands.
Kirishima can see where this is going. "Aww, dude. Don't do -"
Spider-Man looks over to see Squirrel Girl land on the rooftop next to him. "Oh, it's you," she says, looking disappointed. Behind her, a huge fireball lights up the block as Bakugou blows himself free of the webbing. (The explosion tosses Kirishima into the air in a direction away from the American heroes, a resigned expression on his face.) A caption box reads: SQUIRREL GIRL! Real name: Doreen Green! Occupation: College student! Quirk: Talks to squirrels! Eats nuts and kicks butts! Knows SQL!
"Oh, hey." Spidey extracts himself from the skylight and gets to his feet. "What's up?"
"Struck by lightning. Don't know where I am. You?"
"Same. Tuesdays, am I right?"
Behind the two American heroes, Tsuyu grabs Kirishima out of the air with her tongue as she alights on a building a little further down the block.
Down on the ground, Bakugou pulls himself free of the last of the webbing. He raises his hands. "POUR IT ON!"
On a splash page, Spider-Man and Squirrel Girl leap around the next wave of explosions, effortlessly dodging both Bakugou's fire and Aoyama's beams as they bound across the rooftops. "Any clue who these kids are?" she asks.
"Nope." Spidey takes a second to strafe the street with his web-shooters.
"Look - don't take this personally, okay? But I - like - usually try to avoid teaming up with you?" Squirrel Girl dodges Tsuyu as the frog girl leaps at her. "I just feel like we cover too much of the same ground. What with the whole animal-themed superpowers thing, you know?"
"I dunno. Might be a franchise opportunity there." Spider-Man vaults over Kirishima as he throws a punch, then turns to fire a webline after Tsuyu. A helpful caption box at the bottom of the page reads: FUN FACT! Mid-battle banter is Spidey's preferred way to keep himself from freaking out in combat! (Doreen's just cool like that, tho.) "Like - the Petting Zoo of Justice, or something."
Squirrel Girl knocks the redheaded student to the side with a flick of her tail, then leaps across the street with Spidey to dodge another blast. "Dude. I don't know where they have spiders in their petting zoos - but if you grew up there, that explains so much - WOAH."
On the next page, a massive wave of ice suddenly engulfs half of the block.
Towards the top of the formation, Spider-Man clings to the bottom of a large icicle. "So... we should probably start paying attention now."
"Yeah..." Doreen pulls her tail free of the ice.
Back down on the street, Todoroki lowers his hand, his brow knitted. "Hrm..."
"WATCH IT, DUMB+**!" Bakugou calls from down the street, his fist raised. "YOU NEARLY GOT THE REST OF US WITH THAT ATTACK!"
Todoroki gives him an annoyed glare. "Sorry..."
Two hands suddenly wrap around Todoroki's head gently from behind. "Hey! Don't touch m.." His eyes roll back. "..." He passes out.
"Woah... Todoroki..." Sugar Man steps back, his eyes wide. Kaminari's jaw drops. Even Aoyoma looks a little perturbed behind his constant bishie sparkle. (In the background, Jirou and Yaoyorozu look on with dismay, trapped beneath Spider-Man's webbing.)
"My, my, my..." a voice drawls from off panel. "Ain't this just a kick an' a half..."
The pale woman in front of them smiles as she examines her hands, one producing flame, the other frost. "Fire and ice? Like Bobby and Pyro at the same time... not too shabby at all, sugah." The caption box beneath her reads: ROGUE! Real name: Anna Marie D'Ancanto! Occupation: Mutant rights activist / X-Man / unrepentant freeloader! Quirk: Can absorb other people's powers with a single touch! Hot Southern accent! Rockin' highlights! "So... who's next?"
Up above, Spidey glances down as he and Squirrel Girl slide down the ice flow. "Oh, hey, is that Rogue?"
"I guess? - GAH."
Another explosion from Bakugou rips through the ice beneath them, throwing them both in opposite directions. "Not again -" Spider-Man groans as he plummets towards the ground.
"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?!" Iida bellows as he rushes up the street. "I DEMAND THAT YOU STOP - ACK!" He flings himself out of the way as a large fragment of ice slams into the ground.
"Oh, boy..." Uraraka winces and glances over at Tentacole. "We better get down there..."
In a nearby back alley, Spider-Man grabs hold of a fire escape, twisting the railing in his hand but stopping his fall. "Ow. Again." He rubs his shoulder and starts to climb up -
"HEY!"
Spidey looks down and sees Deku standing below him. Remember, the boy thinks. They all seem to be speaking English. So - "You no speak Japanese?"
"Like - three or four words, maybe!" Spidey shouts back.
"Are you not a part of the training exercise?"
"The what?!"
"I thought so." Deku shakes his head. "Listen - I'll try and calm everyone! Just don't hurt any of my friends, okay?"
"Buddy, I don't want to hurt anyone!" Spider-Man fires off another webline. "I just want to get through the next ten minutes without getting blown up, all right?!"
Across the street, Bakugou skids across the asphalt on his back, his hands spitting sparks. Before he can fire again, Squirrel Girl lands on his chest knees first, two of Mineta's balls stuck to her back. She punches him in the head. "WHAT - IS - WRONG - WITH - YOU -" she shouts.
(In the distance behind her, Iida spins in the air as he aims an axe kick down at Rogue.)
In the next panel, Squirrel Girl slams her fist into the teen again and again. "DON'T - BLOW - UP - OTHER - PEOPLE - YOU - JUST - MET -" Overwhelmed, Bakugou weakly raises a hand. Caught up in the moment, she fails to notice Mineta as he carefully sneaks up behind her, a sticky ball in hand.
(Rogue catches Iida's kick in midair with a blast of ice. She looks down at the next student - Uraraka, who cringes slightly but raises her fists.)
"I - MEAN - WHO - EVEN - DOES - THAT -"
Behind Squirrel Girl, Mineta suddenly looks up, the blood draining from his face.
("Nah," Rogue mutters. She turns and walks away from Uraraka. "I ain't gonna do that, hon.")
"WERE - YOU - RAISED - IN - A - BARN - OR - SOMETHING?!"
Mineta rears back as a squirrel-shaped blur tackles him. A (small) caption box in the corner of the panel reads: Tippie Toe! Occupation: Doreen's best friend / squirrel! Quirk: Literally just a squirrel!
"You... %!#*%..." Bakugou mutters. His hand goes limp and drops to the ground.
("Hey!" Uraraka indignantly chases after Rogue off panel. "Come back here!")
"Hey - um, S.G.?" Spider-Man appears at the top of the panel, hanging upside down on a web line. "I think you got him..."
"YEAH I KNOW OKAY?!" Squirrel Girl shouts up at him.
"Okay, okay! Geez!" Spider-Man holds out a hand. "Listen, I found this one kid who speaks English. He says he's gonna -" Behind them, Mineta flails his arms, mostly hidden under a squirrel-shaped blur.
A sudden flash of light illuminates the battlefield. "ENOUGH," a voice booms down from the heavens.
Spider-Man and Squirrel Girl look up. "Ooh," they say in unison.
"Oh, wow." On the next page, Kamala looks up, the claws of Tokoyami's shadow around her neck. "Hey - um, bird dude? Can we get a time out? You guys are - like - seriously outclassed. Trust me."
Up above, lightning flashes in the sky as the Goddess of Thunder, gleaming hammer in hand, descends towards the ground. "I HAVE NO INTEREST IN FIGHTING CHILDREN," she rumbles. The caption box below her reads: The MIGHTY THOR! Real name: Jane Foster! Occupation: Doctor of medicine / interdimensional diplomat! Quirk: Wields the hammer Mjolnir, which grants her powers beyond the ken of mortals! (Also: a near-professional-level scrapbooker. Seriously. Why doesn't anyone ever ask about that?) "COME. LET US PARLEY."
On the next page, a familiar laugh rings out. "Ha HA HA! Well said, madam!"
Deku looks up, a relieved smile on his face. "All Might!"
"Class 1-A, at ease!" The hero poses on one of the few undamaged buildings, his teeth gleaming. He's backed by an expressionless Cementoss and a somewhat cross-looking Eraserhead, who glares down at the street. "Clearly, this exercise has taken an unexpected turn! (I mean, you barely even found half of the robots...)"
Down on the street, the students - the ones still on their feet, at least - and the American heroes stare up at him. Most of the buildings are either damaged or burning, if not both. Jirou, Yaoyoruzu, and Aoyama are all webbed-down to the street. Kaminari, Tentacole, and Sugar Man are partially encased in ice. Uraraka freezes in place in a fighting stance next to Rogue (who has her hands raised as if to ward the girl off.) Iida's trying to pull his foot free of the ice column. Bakugou and Todoroki are still out cold. A hapless Tsuyu dangles upside-down from another web. Kirishima's knocked out cold against an alley wall. Mineta lies helpless beneath Tippie Toe's savage claws.
Spider-Man's hands suddenly slip off his webbing as Eraserhead unintentionally cancels out his powers. "Woah, hey -"
He lands on the ground behind Squirrel Girl. "- ow! Man, not cool!"
On the next page, the teachers and the American heroes stand in a circle. Ms. Marvel has returned to her normal size. Deku hovers anxiously at the edge of the circle, a few steps behind All Might. Down the street, Bakugou glowers as Recovery Girl attends to his heavily bruised face. "Not to worry!" All Might says. "This sort of misunderstanding is inevitable when heroes first meet! Why, I remember the first time I ran into Endeavor in the field -"
"Ahem." Eraserhead coughs.
"- Ah. But that said, I must admit that we bear some concerns. It seems that none of you are registered as official heroes in our nation's database. In addition, it is no small matter that you gained access to our campus without authorization."
"Campus?" Squirrel Girl raises her eyebrows. "This is a school?"
"Indeed!" All Might replies. "You stand upon the hallowed grounds of Japan's greatest hero academy!"
"Look, Mr. All Might, sir -" Spider-Man intejects. "None of us know where we are or what we're doing here, I promise. We literally all just got lightning-ed here... wait, that wasn't you, right?" He glances at Thor.
"T'was not my doing, friend arachnid," Thor rumbles. "I am as lost as the rest of you. So swears Thor."
"So none of us chose to be here," Spider-Man continues. "I promise, we didn't intend to break any laws. We've all been abducted somehow."
"Hmmmm!" All Might strokes his chin. "Strange, if true!"
"Well, there's one thing that might help clear this up..." Spider-Man glances at the other American heroes. "Do any of you have your Avengers card on you? Think mine's in the other costume."
"Oh! Yeah!" Ms. Marvel hands him a credit-card-sized object bearing a large A on its cover.
"Thanks, Ms. Marvel -"
"Wait - did you say Ms. Marvel?!" Deku bursts out. He stares at the girl. "You're Kamala Khan?!"
"Wait, how do you know my -" Kamala catches herself. "Um, I mean - who? What's this Kamala you speak of? Some new... J-Pop band or... something?..." She shifts her eyes.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" Deku instinctively cringes and bows repeatedly. "Please forgive my interruption!"
"Nonsense, my boy!" All Might waves his hand. "If you have something to contribute -"
"It's just... you can't be her. I mean, that's impossible." The boy stares at the American heroes, Kamala in particular. "You died hundreds of years ago!"
Letters Column!
Q: Dear author guy - what is up with the way this story is written? Why's everything in the present tense? What's with all the random bold text in dialogue? And what's with all this talk of pages and panels? It's weird.
I'm glad you ask, hypothetical reader! As an experiment, I've decided to write this story as if an omniscient narrator is describing a comic book / manga he/she/it's reading to the audience. That includes the use of bold text in dialogue for emphasis... just like traditional comic book lettering! It's a different style than I'm used to, but it's been a lot of fun so far! I hope it's enjoyable for you too!
Next time: Exposition, omakes, and mysterious shadowy figures who will in no way be important later! Look forward to it!