Lily's Eyes

Post OotP. Harry is captured, and Snape is made to torture him for Voldemort. Snape rediscovers what it is to care for someone. Slightly AU, Snape's POV.

They flung him roughly into the circle, he landed at the Dark Lord's feet, breathing hard. Wiping blood off his face he stood, green eyes staring up into the merciless red eyes in defiance, more blood running down his cheek.

"Ah, Harry Potter. How nice of you to grace us with your presence." said the smooth, cold voice, a smile of triumph upon the Dark Lord's pale face.

How had he been caught? I had thought he was protected, he would be safe at his relatives'. Did Albus know he'd been captured?

The boy remained silent, staring up at Voldemort with a deep hate burning in his eyes.

"I've waited so long for this moment Harry, so long to see you standing before me, defenseless, vulnerable. You are at my mercy, Harry."

"If you're going to kill me, then kill me now and get it over with Tom. You'll get no satisfaction from me."

Suddenly, and unexpectedly, I felt a deep admiration for this child, who stood before the Dark Lord and calmly spoke of his own death. This boy, who I'd hated for years, who I had called arrogant, spoiled, like James. Now I could see him as Lily's son.

"No, I don't think I'll kill you just yet." answered Voldemort, "You have too much potential for that. Join me, Harry Potter, and we will be stronger than anyone could imagine. Just think, you could save your friends, those who fight for you, and will die because of you. Maybe we could bring back your parents, or your godfather. You'd like that, wouldn't you."

"Yeah," says Harry, "My parents who you killed. Sirius, he died fighting you. You'd best just kill me Tom, my loyalties are decided, and I'll never join you."

The Dark Lord's eyes narrow, I am amazed the boy dared to use the name that had once been Voldemort's. "Then, Harry, I will have to persuade you. I am sure you'll come around to the idea." he hisses, and a few Death Eaters laugh.

My blood runs cold, Voldemort will torture him now, break him so that he is not Harry Potter anymore, turn him into a scared child. This is more that wanting to protect Lily's son, I don't want to see him hurt. The boy who I have hated, tormented and ridiculed for five years.

"Severus, you will help me." says the Dark Lord, beckoning me to step forward. "Harry Potter, do you know who this is?"

"I'm not stupid Tom," says Harry, "It's Snape."

"Good Harry. Snape will help you see why you must join me."

I feel sick, I can't do this, can't hurt this boy. But I know I have to, if there is to be any chance of saving him in the end. I nod to Voldemort. "Of course, my lord."

"Thank you Severus. Make him scream, would you." orders the Dark Lord.

I raise my wand, trying to push all thoughts of compassion or mercy to the back of my head, I remember when I truly believed in Voldemort, when I lived to serve the Dark Lord. Harry doesn't flinch, he stared steadily at me, calmly, waiting for what he knows will come next, and again I feel myself pierced by those bright green eyes. "Crucio." I speak the spell, I have to do it quickly before I cannot. The boy shakes, gritting his teeth against the pain, fighting it. I put more force into the curse, willing him just to give in, scream, so I can stop hurting him. He falls to his knees, but his mouth remains closed, his eyes locked into mine.

"Just tell him when to stop Harry, as soon as you're ready to join me. Don't you see, it's the easiest way?"

I remembered Albus's words. "A time will come when we will have to choose between what is right, and what is easy." Harry would not choose the easy way.

Still, I pressed harder into the spell, he writhed on the floor in unbearable pain, but no sound came from his lips.

Finally, Voldemort motions for me to stop. Harry lies on the ground, his face pressed to the cold stone floor, still but for the slight, fast, rise and fall of his chest. "The Lord Voldemort is merciful. Take him to his cell Severus. We will continue tomorrow."

I pick him up roughly, he remains limp, but his eyes find the Dark Lord's, and he stares back defiantly. We leave the room, I carry him though a maze of cold stone halls, until we come to a dungeon-like place, with a few dark, cold cells. Gently, I set him down in the nearest one

"Who's side are you on?" he asks me, again piercing me with those green eyes. "Tell me the truth."

"I'm on your side." I tell him, "Here on Dumbledore's orders, spying for him. I- I'm sorry for what I had to do."

He nods, seems satisfied. "Then I'll be OK. I trust you."

I am surprised by his words, that he trusts me so easily. "I'm might not be able to get you out." I tell him gently. I don't want him to think I can just let him out. "I'll try, but- This might go on for a while. I'm sorry."

He nods. With a flick of my wand I chain his arms to the wall as I was ordered, but the chains are looser than they should've been, so his arms were not twisted back to far. As I turn to leave, I wonder what is happening to me. I have tried for so long to protect him, but now I find myself caring for him, almost as if he was my own son, and not James'. The change in myself puzzles me, almost frightens me, it is as if my hard shell I have built up is melting away, leaving me unprotected.

I am sent the next morning to fetch him. I find him sitting in the corner, his face pale in the darkness, but his eyes still bright with defiance, the defiance I once took for insolence. I unchain him and lead him back to the stone hall, he goes calmly and willingly. Voldemort sits in a throne like stone chair on a dais. "Ah, Mr. Potter. How nice of of you to return!" his cold voice echoing in the empty room.

I walk the boy to the center of the hall before the Dark Lord, then step back a few paces, waiting for Voldemort's instructions.

"Have you had a change of heart yet Harry? Seen the truth?"

"You won't change my mind Tom." says Harry. "You'll have to kill me before I join you."

The Dark Lord sighs dramatically. "Foolish boy. Such a waste, that you should be hurt so, when all you need to is swear loyalty to me. Severus!" he motions for me to being the torture. Again, I push thoughts of love and kindness to the back of my head, and point my wand at Harry. He stands still, unflinching, accepting what will come. "Crucio."

His eyes are wide open, but he doesn't see, he is on his knees, desperately fighting the pain that tears at him. My heart screams to me to stop, I can hardly bare seeing him tortured by my own hand. Ignoring my feelings, I put more and more force into the spell, he lies on the floor, shaking, tears flowing from his eyes, but still silent. Again I wish he would just to give in, to scream so that I could stop hurting him, but I know he will not. At last, I end the spell, and again he lies still on the flood.

"You see Harry, you're only hurting yourself. All you have to do is serve me, you could be great, you have so much potential! Think of bringing back your parents, saving those you love. You could become immortal, together we would rule for all eternity." Voldemort speaks softly, trying to tempt Harry.

With a great effort, the boy pulls himself upright, his fingers clutching weakly at the edge of the dais. "I told you Tom, you'll have to kill me first." his voice shakes a little, but it is clear and strong.

It goes on two more days. Each day I bring him to the stone hall, he is tortured. Each day he becomes weaker and weaker, but continues to defy the Dark Lord. I carry him back to his cell when he is unconscious from the pain. Harry is strong, so much stronger than anyone could expect of a fifteen year old boy, a child. But now, he is not really a child. He continues to trust me, not holding against me the pain I put him through every day. Each day he walks willingly to Voldemort, never trying to fight me. It breaks my heart do do this to him. I look for an escape, a way to get him out of this hell, but find none.

On the fourth day, when I come to his cell, he asks me a question. "Professor... If I do break, say I'll join him, kill me? You can make it seem like an accident, like I tried to fight you and was killed."

I am taken aback by this request. I don't know if I could kill him.

"Promise me!" he says forcefully, and I nod.

"If you break, I will kill you, I swear it." I say heavily.

He nods, satisfied, and comes with me to Voldemort. Again, I torture him, and he writhes on the floor in silent anguish as I put more into the spell than every before. Voldemort watches eagerly, his pleasure at seeing the boy's pain unmasked.

Them, after nearly two hours of unbearable pain, he cries out. It is a noise that chills me, it is so filled with pain and sorrow. I stop the curse, I could not go on even if I tried, and await Voldemort's orders, my heart cold and heavy.

The Dark Lord's high, cold laughter echoes horribly in the stone hall. "Now Potter, will you join me?"

Harry's eyes close, he is shaking so hard it looks as if his bones must be rattling. Slowly, painfully, he sits up, and stares again into the red eyes. "No."

Then he falls back to the floor, unconscious. For a moment, I think he's dead, and so does Voldemort, but he's not. Not waiting for orders from the Dark Lord, I pick up his limp, skinny body, and leave the room. As soon as I'm out of his sight, I stop and bend over the boy. Don't die, don't die, don't die... I think desperately. He can't die now!The pain in my heart is a physical pain, tearing me open from within. I did this to him, I think, I was the one that hurt him like this.

Then he opens his eyes. The bright green orbs show barley any of their old fire, they're sad, filled with pain. "Thank you..." he whispers. "Don't give yourself away."

I nod. It's all I can do not to cry. I know I have to get him out, even if it means Voldemort finding out my true allegiance, even if it means dying.

I carry him back to the cell and chain him, then leave. That night, I sneak into the castle, silently creeping down to the dungeon. He's awake, waiting for me. All I can see of him in the total darkness are his green eyes, looking at me, and I feel as if Lily is near. The cell door opens easily for me, and I slip inside. However, when I flick my wand at the chains, just as I do every morning, they don't budge. Again I try to release them, and again I have no effect. I attempt cutting and burning through the chain, nothing works. He holds out his hand, and I try to slip the cuff over the thin hand. It almost goes, but won't fit over his thumb. I know what I have to do, I look at Harry, he nods. Slipping the cuff back onto his arm, I pull his thumb back, until with a sickening crack, it breaks. Now the cuff slips easily over the hand, and I heal him with my wand. I repeat the action, and he is free.

Shakily, the boy gets to his feet. I lead him for the last time up the stairs. As we pass through the stone hall, his torture chamber, he shudders, looking at the empty throne on the dais. Finally, we are outside. Harry breaths in the fresh air, to him it must've seemed like months he was inside the castle. He sways, and for a moment I think he will pass out, but he regains his balance, standing up straight beside me.

Now I realize that in my desperation to free the boy I had not really planned what to do. I as wondered how to get Harry away from here, he tapped my arm. "Look" he whispered, pointing to point coming closer by the second, flying towards us. At first I thought it was a bird, but as it drew closer, I saw a hippogriff. Finally it landed in front of us. "Buckbeak!" cried Harry. Relief flooded over me. "Go to the Burrow." I told him, and pulled from my robes his wand..

Harry took the wand and mounted the hippogriff, then turned back towards me. "Thank you. You saved my life."

I was surprised. After all I'd done to him, he still thanked me. "I'm sorry..." I whispered, "Sorry about everything, sorry I hurt you."

"No," he said, "I'm glad it was you. I'd rather it be you than Voldemort."

Then he clutched the hippogriff's neck as it reared, then launched itself into the moonless night.

"Thank you!" came Harry's voice from above.

۞ ۞ ۞

Epilogue

A/N: This isn't really part of the story, and it doesn't really fit with the rest. I just wanted to see how it ended.

Buckbeak landed silently in the yard outside the Burrow. Harry patted him and dismounted, nearly collapsing as he hit the ground. Slowing, he walked to the door and knocked. He could hear the faint sound of feet on the stairs, and then the door opened, and a wand was pressed to his neck.

"Who is it!" asked the voice of Molly Weasley.

"It's Harry, it's Harry Potter. I met you at the train station in my first year and you helped me get through the barrier." Harry spoke franticly.

"Harry! What are you doing here?" Mrs. Weasley led him inside the warm, kitchen. As she caught a look at his face, she gasped sharply. "What's happened, you look awful!

To tired to reply, Harry shook his head, sinking into a chair. Mrs. Weasley didn't press him to talk, and he was grateful. She brought him a bowl of broth, which he drank gratefully, suddenly realizing how hungry he was. As he finished, he again heard the sound of feet on the stairs, and Ron appeared in the kitchen, looking concerned.

"Blimey harry, what 'r you doin' 'ere?" he asked.

"I- Voldemort- h-he caught me." it was hard for Harry to speak, "I was there for four days, then I escaped."

Suddenly Harry was crying, crying all the tears he had held in while Voldemort had him. Ron put his arm around him and Harry didn't care that it hurt his ribs.

"You're safe now Harry, it's OK."