SP/n: TWOSHOT. It's horridiously long. :) This was written on impulse.
I apologize for any wrong:
spellings,
punctuations,
and sense. :D
d i s c l a i m e r :
SprayPaintzz, doesn't own Naruto,
nor its' characters.
Thankyou. :)
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"Don't you have any faith in your best friend at all?" Ino was starting to get annoyed at all Naruto's misconceptions about Sakura and Sasuke.
Since summer, he had been going on and on about Sasuke and Sakura's relationship. Saying stuff like 'eloping' and 'getting it on in Sasuke's kitchen' and other lewd situations. She in fact didn't care what's happening between the Uchiha and her best friend, just knowing she's fine is okay with her.
"No, I do not trust teme with Sakura-chan. She's the sweetest and nicest girl on the face of this world with the most brilliant smile that could melt Pluto. While Sasuke's err... not." Naruto said while taking a forkful of his blueberry cheesecake.
Ino let out a low growl and pointed her fork threatingly at the blonde across her. "Listen here bub, Sasuke and Sakura's relationship is completely professional. Have you even seen these two lately? They don't even touch; their relationship is completely platonic. No touching and absolutely no 'getting it on in Sasuke's kitchen'."
"Then why haven't I seen you and Sakura-chan together lately?"
"She's busy with Student Council stuff with Sasuke!"
"And did she blow you off today so she could be with teme?"
"Yeah, so—"
"I rest my case!" Naruto cried slamming his fork down the table.
Now that she thought about it, Sakura has been spending a lot of time with Sasuke lately. It's as if they were glued at the hip. She even blew Ino off that one time 'cause she and Sasuke had to do a project. Yeah, on a Saturday? Right.
But who was she to listen to Naruto, he's a nut-case.
"Whatever, you think what you want. I still think you're crazy." Ino said, sipping her Hazelnut Cappuccino.
"It's like this Ino-chan…"
She resisted the urge to kick him for the stupid nickname.
"Sakura-chan does her part of the project on this side and Sasuke does his on this side." He said, demonstrating with his hands. The left being Sakura and the right Sasuke. "Then something develops in Sasuke's brain that makes him have hormones." His right hand jolted uncontrollably indicating Sasuke's 'hormones'. "So unable to tame himself, he jumps on poor innocent Sakura-chan." His right hand then wrestled with his left, thus knocking a crumpled tissue off the table.
Ino stared blankly at Naruto, "Your analogy eludes me." She deadpanned.
"Analogy-archaeology. What I'm trying to say is that, we'll be godparents by the end of the school year!" He finished, getting back to eating his dessert.
Ino sighed, despite being the logical side of the argument, she decided to just agree with the blonde across her to shut him up. 'Cause everyone knows when he starts talking, it's hard to get him to stop. "Okay Naruto, I was wrong and you were right. Sasuke's going to impregnate Sakura, then they'll both drop out of school and move to another country where they can raise the baby secretly. Yeah, yeah. I get it."
Naruto stared at her incredulously, "I can't believe you would say that about your best friend! What kind of friend are you?"
"Seriously Ino-chan, you need to have more faith in them. You're too narrow-minded." He said taking a sip from his ice-cold, strawberry-mango shake.
Ino fumed and got red all over. Then in one swift motion, she tipped the table towards Naruto, dumping all of the contents on the table on him. "Let's do this again someday, okay?" she said cheerily, leaving the café with a contented grin. She felt as though she had contributed something to the world after seeing Naruto speechless.
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As Naruto walked home, his pants caked with various sugary delights and coffee, he grumbled about Ino being a total psycho-bitch. "Seriously, that woman needs a shrink… or five." He continued to scrape away the foamy aliens on his pants and flicked them to the side.
Then across the street, he spotted from the corner of his eye a tiny, yet extremely expensive, furniture store; Sakura and Sasuke.
"What are they doing there?" then as the idiot he is, Naruto rushed across the street not bothering to look either left or right, earning honks and yells from the drivers.
He hid behind a newspaper dispenser his eyes and obnoxious blonde hair peeking out.
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Outside, Naruto saw the couple choosing furniture like how a married couple would. The girl wants something, but the husband is really hesitant, but then gives in because wives are very overpowering. Yep, he's seen it in all of the movies. That's it! Naruto thought.
"They're planning to elope!" The blonde said to himself. "Why didn't I think of that sooner." Inwardly slapping his forehead.
Maybe because the thought was way too absurd and impossible to be true; which was probably why it didn't come to him sooner.
Then Sakura and Sasuke exited the store which made Naruto duck further down the newspaper dispenser. "Please don't see me, please don't see me." He chanted over and over in his head.
"Naruto?" came the sweet, angelic voice of his female friend.
The blonde stood up, very finicky to be precise. He had this look on his face that just screamed 'Oops-my-two-friends-caught-me-spying-on-them.' "Hey, what are you two doing here? Me? Just tying my shoes. Ain't no better place to tie your shoes but behind a newspaper dispenser. Yeah. Well, see you guys!" Don't call me back, don't call me back!
"Wait, do you want to get some coffee with us? Sasuke's treat." Sakura said, jerking her thumb towards the male behind her, who frowned as she said 'Sasuke's treat.'
"Well, you see I'm covered. Ha-Ha." Naruto replied gesturing to his clothes, the desserts hardening on his jeans. "Get it covered…? 'Cause I'm… Nevermind."
"Pig." Sasuke said.
"Yeah, thank you. Well, gotta get going. I have to feed my plants and water the fish." Then Naruto vanished in a flash. Leaving his two friends bewildered.
"What's his problem?" Sakura asked, staring at Naruto sharply turn at the corner.
"Probably being an idiot again." Sasuke muttered. "C'mon, I know a venti with your name on." Then they left opposite from where Naruto ran, his hand on her head, lightly ruffling her hair.
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He had his arm over her shoudlers, leaning most of his weight on the smaller figure.
"Sasuke, you're heavy." Sakura said, slightly slouching because of the dead weight next to her.
Sasuke made no attempt to move, ever so leaning more on her. "Hmm," He mused, looking at the folder Sakura had in her hands.
"What's that?" he asked, resting his chin on her shoulders.
"Fund reports and the budget plan for the upcoming school festival. The Treasurer said I should look it over." the female replied, flipping through the pages, lightly scanning them.
Sasuke's head moved away from her, his arm still on her shoulders. He then gave Sakura a look of confusion.
"Yeah, I don't know why he gave it to me either." Sakura replied, still scanning through the pages. Until she reached the last page, she remained quiet and pondered.
"I think I know why he gave it to me." Sakura laughed. She shoved the page under Sasuke's nose, tapping on the text written over the printed one. Written in the Treasurer's neat block writing, over the tabled fund reports, was probably the funniest yet sweetest note she had ever received.
"'Do you want to go to the festival with me?'" Sasuke read. He remained quiet for a while, then spoke, "The Student council always keep a back-up of their reports, right?" he asked, eyeing the corniest note in the world.
"Of course, you should know that." Sakura replied, raising a brow at him. "Why?"
"Confirmation." he said, before yanking the folder out of her hands and threw it far to his side. He then rested his head back on her shoulder.
A gasp escaped her lips as she elbowed Sasuke in the rib. "What did you do that for? I thought it was sweet."
"I thought it was stupid." he said, his eyes shut, listening to the many teenage voices that encircled them. "That treasurer is wasting valuable time making a fake report, instead of investing in making the important one." He huffed, blowing some of Sakura's hair out of his face.
"Meanie." Sakura muttered with a smile on her face. "You're such a jerk, you know that?"
She was rewarded with a grunt.
"Forehead!"
"Piggy!" Sakura beamed, waving to her approaching blonde friend.
Sasuke's ears perked up and slowly sat upright, his arm around Sakura dropped behind her and supported his weight as he leaned back.
"Ooh, I see you two are getting cozy. Should I leave?" Ino teased as she stopped in front of the two.
Sakura laughed and patted Sasuke on the knee. "No, no, no. Don't leave, he was just catching up on some sleep."
"Hmm, if you say so." Ino said in that same teasing tone. Though in the back of her mind, she debated whether Naruto was right or not. Hello? The two were just cuddling in broad daylight!
"Hey, where'd you disappear during the weekend? I called you a crud of times." Ino asked.
Sakura glanced at Sasuke the same time he glanced at her. "Um, I was—"
"She was with me." Sasuke said, "I accompanied her to get her phone fixed. Apparently, she dropped it from the skywalk."
Before Ino could say anything, she was interrupted by Naruto's incessant screaming from across the field. His arms flailed wildly, bumping into innocent students loitering about. A sigh escaped from the trio as Naruto arrived.
"Obstruction of justice." Sasuke said.
"What's wrong, Naruto?" Sakura asked, a genuine worried look on her face.
"The most horrible thing happened!" he announced dramatically, a hand on his forehead with his other on his chest. "I went by the grocery to buy Instant Ramen and you know what I saw?"
"What?" Ino deadpanned.
"Two dollars, Ino. Two. Dollars." Naruto said, his hands on her shoulders, lightly shaking her.
"What's two dollars?" Ino deadpanned— again, 'cause Naruto was known to be the one who tends to over react. Like, when his phone just shut off after he just charged it. He blabbed something about the apocalypse. When actually, he just forgot to turn off his Bluetooth, and we all know Bluetooth is a frickin' vampire.
"Ramen was a buck fifteen before. Now it's two dollars! How could they do this? It's a conspiracy!" the male blonde ranted.
The trio sighed once again. Luckily, the bell rang, thus, ended any possible time Naruto could rant about the 85 cent increase Ramen price. Because we all know he's going to forget that little tidbit later on.
"Sorry Ino, but you'll have to deal with Naruto yourself." Sakura apologized as she stood up together with Sasuke.
Ino looked over to Naruto who was sulking on the stone bench where Sasuke and Sakura sat.
"Council duty calls, c'mon Sasuke." Sakura said as she dragged Sasuke towards the building.
"C'mon Naruto, let's get to class." Ino muttered, annoyed at being stuck with Naruto every single morning while Sasuke and Sakura play Student Council.
"Yeah, but I have something to tell you first." Naruto said completely sober. He bounded up next to Ino with a grin on his face. "It's about Sakura-chan and Sasuke."
"Did you play the whole two dollar Ramen conspiracy?" Ino laughed.
"Kinda, but seriously. After our little 'snack date', I saw Sakura-chan and Sasuke, wait for it…" he paused. "…shopping for furniture!"
Ino raised a brow, on both the 'snack date' and furniture shopping; maybe he really wasn't that sober? "Shopping? For furniture? What is going on in your head boy?" Ino said, entering the building with Naruto holding the door open for her.
"I'm not kidding you blonde." Naruto deadpanned.
"Hmm, Sasuke did say that they went to get Sakura's phone fixed." Ino said. "Said it fell from the skywalk. Poor phone. T'was expensive too."
Naruto scoffed, "Pbft. Phone? Sakura-chan didn't look the slightest bit depressed, for someone who had their phone skydiving."
They entered their classroom, bumping into a few friends and such. Naruto patted her shoulder and went to his seat as Ino did so.
Is it possible? Ino thought. That her best friend replaced her with just some unfeeling, sardonic guy? Some guy she met over eight years; over their age-old friendship? What happened to chicks over dicks!?
She hated the thought of losing her best friend. But what she hated more was the thought that Naruto— in some weird, twisted, hell-bent, way— was probably right.
"Damn blonde."
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Lunch time came and Sasuke and Sakura were still no where to be found. At their usual spot during lunch; under the huge oak tree on the school yard, Ino, Naruto, Kiba and Shikamaru sat. Along with a few other groups of students.
"Where's Hitler and Mother Teresa?" Kiba asked; referring of course to Sasuke and Sakura, respectively.
"And please don't say out on a spy mission or what." Shikamaru said, before Naruto could even open his mouth. "That's just absurd."
Suddenly, a body fell flat on the grassy ground beside Ino, alerting the many occupants of the field.
"OH MY GOD, SASUKE!" Ino screamed, moving away from the body.
"Someone call 9-1-1!" Kiba cried.
Groan.
The male authoritarian figure slowly stood up, ignoring the many protests of his friends. He held his head in his palm, while his other held the tree. Another groan erupted from his throat.
"Not cool." He muttered.
"What the hell were you doing up there?!" Kiba cried. "We're you trying to kill yourself?"
Sasuke ignored everyone's worry and looked up at the tree, where he fell a 6-foot drop. Good thing he didn't fall from the top of the tree, which was about a 100 feet high up. Now that wouldn't be cool.
"What are you looking for?" Shikamaru asked.
"Sakura." He replied calmly after just slammed his back on the ground.
"President!"
A student, probably a junior, approached Sasuke (he probably wanted to die right now). Then just before he could open his mouth, someone fell in his arms. But not in the whole 'bridal style-crap', she fell upside, on her frontal area.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Oh God, I thought I was going to die!" Sakura laughed.
"V-Vice-president!" the junior stuttered, still a bit dumbstruck at having accidentally saved one of his superiors.
"Okay everyone, nothing to see here." Sakura shooed them all away, noticing that most of the people occupying the field were watching.
"What did you want?" Sasuke growled. "And could you put her down?"
The junior set Sakura down on her feet and held out a folder to Sasuke. "Tsunade-sama asked me to pass this on."
Sasuke accepted the folder and stared at it for a while, "Did you look at these?" he asked.
"N-No." the junior replied, terrified of the glare he was receiving.
"Anything else?" the President asked, loosening his glare on the poor boy.
"No, sir." The boy shook his head, his shoulders hunched up.
"Okay." Sasuke grabbed Sakura away from the boy and put his palm on the boys' face and deftly shoved him away. Hitler in action!
Sakura gasped and punched Sasuke hard on the shoulder as he led them to where their friends sat, watching the show before them. "What did you do that for?! That kid could've been hurt!" Sakura cried. And there's Mother Teresa.
Sasuke ignored Sakura and sat beside Ino, the very same place where he fell unceremoniously in front of most of the student body.
"Aren't you sitting?" Sasuke said, patting the empty space beside him.
"I'm not talking to you." Sakura said, opting to sit beside Shikamaru instead.
And their audience sat still and silent at the suddenly awkward moment. Yet one had to be the superhero in these times.
"SO, were you two out on a spy mission or what?"
They all sighed.
Unfortunately, that superhero had to be Naruto.
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SLAM!
Her locker slammed open.
"Wow, John Wilkes Booth and Eleanor Roosevelt still not getting along?" Kiba said, observing the two authoritarians not speak to each other. Sasuke stood beside Sakura while she was fixing her locker; neither of them talking.
"They never did get along; much less born at the same period of time." Shikamaru said, also watching the two. "But I don't think they're really fighting."
"Why's that?" Kiba asked.
"Knowing those two, they'd probably start World War III." Shikamaru scoffed. "Plus, the reason of the fight was just too shallow."
"Do you think it was staged?"
Then Sasuke turned his head towards the audience and immediately, Shikamaru let his head fall back while Kiba pulled at some passer-by as if they were conversing the whole time. Sasuke looked back at Sakura.
Shikamaru's head popped back up swiftly and Kiba practically threw the guy away. Poor boy.
"Whew, that was close." Kiba said.
"I think I just gave myself whiplash." Shikamaru said, massaging the back of his neck.
"HEY GUYS!"
"Oh look, it's Bonnie and Clyde." Kiba said, eyeing the two blondes.
"I'm Bonnie of course, right?" Ino asked, squeezing in between the two boys.
"Yes, yes." Kiba said, lazily waving his hand.
"So, what did we miss?" Naruto asked, shoving Kiba closer to Ino and Shikamaru so he could sit too. Who in turn, was seething.
Shikamaru sighed, "The lamest war in the history of ever. I could watch re-runs of The Bachelor heck, even Rock of Love Bus and it'd be more interesting compared to this."
The three stared at Shikamaru strangely.
"Figuratively speaking, of course." Shikamaru coughed.
"Okay…" Ino trailed.
It was time for Naruto to play superhero again, "You two want to join me and Ino go spy on Teme and Sakura-chan?"
"Oh no, no, no, no; I never agreed." Ino said.
"Yeah, but you said it was cool."
"No, I said it was stupid."
"Oh. Who cares? So, who's up for a mission?"
Then Sakura turned her head towards the four and immediately Shikamaru's head fell back, Kiba grabbed some guy over Naruto and pretended to chat, while Ino and Naruto pulled at each others' hair; WHICH WAS COMPLETELY NORMAL.
Sakura turned her attention back to her locker and the four went back to watching the not talking higher-ups.
"It's not that easy to pretend to fall asleep." Shikamaru groaned, massaging his neck again.
"Don't worry, 'cause after tonight, no one's going to pretend anymore." Naruto said maniacally.
They caught Sasuke looking again.
"Pain." Shikamaru groaned.
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"I cannot believe I let you talk me into this." Ino muttered darkly as they were hunched behind a bush across Sasuke's house.
It was 9PM and there was school the next day, so what they were doing was both maniacal and stupid. Like Naruto. They were at Sasuke's 'cause Sakura wasn't in hers. Plus, they were dressed like thieves. Ino couldn't have more of a ridiculous day.
"Where is he off too?" Naruto asked, as they saw Sasuke come out of his house, dressed in sweatpants and running off into the night.
"Can we go now?" Ino complained.
"No! You see that room?" Naruto pointed to the second floor. "That's Sasuke's room."
"The curtains are closed but you could see the lights are on." Ino mused. "… Which would probably mean… Sakura is in Sasuke's room."
"OH MY GOD." Ino exclaimed-whisper, "They better not be doing what I think they're doing."
"Macramé?"
"What? Macra— No! The deed, Naruto: the deed which caused women to have children at a very young age!" Ino said, slightly panicking.
Naruto stared, "So, you mean sex?" he said slowly.
"Of course, I mean sex!" Ino snapped, hitting him on the shoulder.
"You could've just said so. Sheesh, you must be on your period." Naruto said, emerging from the bushes and off to Sasuke's backyard, with Ino following behind.
"What are we going to do now?" Ino asked, looking up at Sasuke's veranda to his lit room.
Then a steel ladder came into her view, leaning on the railings ever so softly. "We go in." Naruto said.
"Have you completely lost what's left of your brain? This is breaking and entering, we could go to jail!" Ino cried, trying to keep her voice low.
"This could be your only chance to find out if your assumptions were right…" Naruto said solemnly. "Or hopefully, wrong."
Ino groaned and stomped her foot. "Okay, okay fine. You go first."
"Oh yeah!" and the blonde practically jumped on the ladder.
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"If we ever survive this, I promise I won't do this again." Ino prayed as they finally reached Sasuke's veranda.
"Ino look, it's Sakura-chan." Naruto whispered, gesturing to the slit in between the curtains.
Ino gasped, "She looks horrible."
Sakura's arms were tied on the arm rests of Sasuke's office chair and she had cuts and bruises on her body. Some looked like they were weeks old and some were as purple as Asuma-sensei when Kiba told him to go mess with Kurenai-sensei. Plus, Sakura was…
"Looks like she just came out of the shower." Naruto continued.
… naked— somewhat. She was in her underwear, okay?
Ino slid open Sasuke's balcony door and rushed in front of Sakura, followed by Naruto. She knelt in front of Sakura and held her face up. Sakura had this huge-ass bruise on her cheek, her eye was slightly swollen and her lip was swollen and bleeding. It's as if she rolled down the Great Pyramid of Giza.
"Sakura? Sweetie? Talk to me, what happened to you?" Ino asked, lightly shaking the unconscious Sakura.
"I don't think Sasuke would do this kind of thing?" Naruto asked, loosening the ties on Sakura's wrists.
Groan.
The two blondes' froze as their friend stirred lightly. She saw Ino and Naruto looking at her with worried faces, then anger washed over her.
"What are you two doing here?!" Sakura exclaimed-whisper. "Get out, now."
"Who are you?" an unfamiliar voice with an accent said.
Ino and Naruto spun around and saw this big burly man by Sasuke's door holding an equally big gun.
"So you called-in reinforcements?" Big Burly Foreign Hulk said.
"W-What's going on h-here, Sakura?" Ino asked.
Sakura stood up, yanking with her the arm rests of the chair. Apparently, Naruto didn't loosen them enough. "I told you to get out."
She really didn't seem like the Mother Teresa they knew back at school.
He pointed the gun towards the three and both blondes' screamed. In that instant, Sakura lunged at the Big Burly Foreign Hulk, and side-kicked the gun away.
"Sakura-chan, you can do kung-fu?!" Naruto cried.
Just before Sakura could kick the man on the chin, her leg frozen in mid-air, three guns pointed at her.
"Stop right there, missy." One of the gun-wielding men said. He had the same accent as Big Burly Foreign Hulk did. He was bald, like shiny bald; he was this one-eye blind type of guys. And we all know that not all bald, one-eye blind men are good.
"Or what? You're going to shoot me?" Sakura laughed.
"Of course not, that would be stupid." Bald, one-eye blind man said and pointed it at both Ino and Naruto. "I shoot them."
Sakura lowered her leg and immediately she was tackled by the other two gun-wielding men and thrown back to the arm-less office chair.
"You're sick, Ivan." Sakura spat.
Bald, one-eyed man snickered and said, "Yes, yes I know. But who'll live long enough to care?" his face then turned sour, "This time, tie her up good." He ordered to his men.
He made his way towards the door and stopped, "Oh, and tie the two nuisances too. They're good leverage."
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Ino and Naruto were tied to Sasuke's metal foot board, physically unscathed and panicking; while Sakura was tied to the same chair except her arms were at the back of the chair as they yanked and twisted Sakura's arms back to make sure she wouldn't escape. Her feet were tied on the chair's column, and before they left they gave her a few slaps with their gun.
And you didn't even hear her fidget.
"You're probably wondering what's going on." Sakura said softly, her head down; just in case Big Burly Foreign Hulk, who was standing watch, could hear her talking.
"A-A b-bit." Naruto tried to say without his voice cracking, yet utterly failed.
"I'd be breaking protocol if I do this, but here goes. I'll probably die after this." She paused. "Sasuke and I are agents working for… this group; and we've been doing this for nearly four years."
"Agents? Like spies?" Ino asked.
"I knew it!" Naruto said, inwardly celebrating.
"Shush," Sakura reprimanded. "We looked for find ways on how to keep it secret it was then when Tsunade-shishou helped us."
"That old hag is in on it too?" Naruto asked disbelievingly, then shushed by Ino.
"We disguised ourselves as the Student Council of our school as to be able to cover our missions as meetings; so no one would get suspicious." She looked at them pointedly, "Apparently, that didn't work."
"Hey, this idiot dragged me into this." Ino said, glaring at Naruto.
Naruto glared back, "I'm sorry I was just concerned for our friends."
"So did you cheat the ballots or what?" Ino asked which made Sakura laugh.
"We were supposed to, but then it wasn't really necessary since we both won anyway; which was kind of weird."
"So who are these men? And what do they want?" Ino asked. Feeling slightly relieved that her best friend didn't leave her for some guy. Even if that some guy might have saved her life about a million times.
Sakura laughed a bit, "Sorry, now that's just pushing it."
"Teme?" Naruto said.
"What about Sasuke?" Sakura asked.
Naruto shook his head, "No, no. I mean, Teme, is out there on the veranda." He whispered. Wow, who would've thought he could whisper.
Make that a million and one.
"What?" Sakura turned her head to the balcony and saw that Sasuke was really there, in all his sweatpants glory.
Sasuke brought his finger up to his mouth, and Sakura nodded. She then began thrashing wildly, as if to break free from the chair. Naruto and Ino looked at each other, didn't that mean quiet?
"You can't break free little miss, you'll break your shoulders." Big Burly Foreign Hulk said, yet Sakura continued to thrash.
"Your efforts are futile." He said, approaching Sakura.
Then in all her thrashing craziness, they heard a crack. It was Sakura's shoulder. She just dislocated her damn shoulder. Idiot!
"Oh my God!" Ino cried her eyes shut.
"Teme." Naruto said.
Ino opened her eyes and saw Sasuke standing over the used to be alive Big Burly Foreign Hulk. Sasuke just killed a guy that was about more than twice his size. KILL. A GUY. TWICE HIS SIZE.
He was still Hitler.
"Let's go kick some butt." Sasuke said, smirking at his pink-haired partner.
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"So…" Ino trailed. "Are they dead?" she asked, cringing, as four bodies wrapped in black bags were carried out Sasuke's kitchen by men in black. Excuse the pun.
"Of course not." Sakura said, "But the one upstairs probably is, thanks to Sasuke."
"He was going to shoot you." Sasuke answered calmly.
Sakura raised a delicate pink brow at her partner "Was he really? Or were you just assuming." In turn she received a grunt.
Ino and Naruto shivered, and thought of all the boys who tried (yet failed) to woo Sakura off her feet, only to have Sasuke practically throw them out a window.
As if on cue, the doorbell rang as the men in black (excuse the pun), fully exited Sasuke's kitchen along with the bodies. Sasuke opened the door halfway, seeing as it was his neighbour. A lady in her 50's living with her son and family beside his own home.
"Hasegawa-san, what brings you here at this time of night?" Sasuke politely asked the worried old lady.
"I was wondering if you were alright in here, I heard all of these noises which I thought were… gunshots?" Old lady Hasegawa said worriedly.
"Oh, it was nothing; Sakura and I were watching movies upstairs." Sasuke said, pulling Sakura, who was standing quietly and unmoving behind him, to his side.
"Um, yeah; so sorry if the noise got to you again. We'll turn the volume down next time." Sakura said, snaking her arm around Sasuke's waist.
Old lady Hasegawa blushed lightly as she saw Sakura in nothing but her underwear. "Oh…" she trailed. "One of those nights again? I see, sorry for bothering." She turned slowly only to be stopped by Sakura.
"We're really sorry Hasegawa-san, for the bother."
"No, no, it's alright." She waved her hand as she walked away. "I know how kids are these days. Just be careful you two."
"We will." Sasuke muttered as he closed the door, sighing.
"Those nights?" Naruto asked incredulously. "What did she mean those nights?!"
Sakura lifted Ino and Naruto off the couch and dragged them to the door. "Why don't we talk about this some other time, like, 20 years from now, okay?"
"We'll kill you of you tell anyone, alright? Alright." Sasuke opened the door again and Sakura shoved the two blondes out. "See you tomorrow!"
SLAM!
"So, Sakura-chan and Teme are dating?" Naruto asked innocently.
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"Hideki-kun, about that Treasurer's report you gave me yesterday…" Sakura said unsurely, seeing the boy in front of her slightly fidget.
"I thought it was really sweet and cute, but you see—"
"She already has a date." Sasuke interjected, leaning his weight over her as he draped an arm around Sakura's shoulders. "So, why don't you make a real report and hand it over tomorrow."
Said Treasurer sulked towards the school building in depression and maybe fear. Yeah, fear.
"You really could've been nicer." Sakura reprimanded, frowning at the taller (and heavier) being leaning himself against her. "Or let me do it."
Sasuke merely grunted and kissed her temple. "He never had the right in the first place to ask you." Sasuke whispered against her hair, which made Sakura smile.
"Gosh, you're so corny." Sakura laughed, "You're cornier than corned beef."
Sasuke just gave Sakura the 'What-The-Hell' Uchiha look. "And you can't make a joke to save your life."
"So, Hitler and Mother Teresa hooked up. It may sound completely disgusting, but I hope you two have cute little religious Jewish-killing babies." Kiba cooed at the two 'cuddling' authoritarians.
Sasuke instantly broke free from Sakura and both looked up at the 'New Arrivals'.
"So, are you two building schools or is it the Holocaust?" Shikamaru asked.
"What are you idiots talking about?" Sasuke said.
"There's no need to be ashamed, just know that we support your decision." Kiba said, putting his arms over the shoulders of the accused as he squeezed in between them.
"Though, I don't know how the Vice-President could also be the First Lady. I think it's—"
"What are you talking about, Inuzuka?" Sasuke deadpanned.
"Oh, no need to be ashamed, everyone already knows of your little happy hour last night."
"Happy… hour?" Sakura said in disgust and confusion. "What are you talking about?!"
Kiba heaved a sigh and released his arm from Sasuke and held Sakura by her shoulders. "Sakura, you're really cute; and it suits you, but this whole dumb act isn't working out."
"Fornication." Shikamaru simply said.
Then Sakura burst out laughing. "Fornication, you mean sex, right? Shikamaru, it's the twenty-first century, get with the time."
Kiba and Shikamaru stared wide-eyed at the two. "So, it's true?! You and him? Him and you? And you're not denying it, why aren't you denying it?!" came Kiba's hysterics as he bolted up.
"We're not denying nor admitting anything." Sasuke said, snaking an arm around Sakura's waist.
Saved by the bell.
"Off to your classrooms while we engage in fornication at the SCO." Sasuke said with a smirk, which made Sakura laugh.
Kiba whimpered a bit and said, "Tell me, oh God, please tell me you're using protection, or birth control!"
"Well, what do you know, the little, ramen freak was right." Shikamaru mused.
Both authority figures shrugged and went on their way towards the school building as students showered them with 'Good Morning's' as they passed.
"Now that Shikamaru put it that way, it's kind of nasty and dirty, don't you think?" Sakura whispered to Sasuke as she greeted another classmate.
"Just like you in bed my dear, just like you." Sasuke whispered back, pinching her side, which earned a laugh from the not so innocent Mother Teresa.
--
.
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Fornication is art.
.
.
--
SP/n: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Thank you my infinite playlist (not the fanfic, I mean my iTunes playlist), you have been with me through it all. :D
Was it long? OF COURSE IT WAS.
Was it boring? OF COURSE IT WAS.
Was it idiotic? ...MAYBE.
Was it non-sensical? OF COURSE IT WAS.
Tell me what ya think, a'right? ;)
SprayPaintzz
Double up the zz's!