The Impossibles and Big D are the property of Hanna-Barbera.
Jordanna the Conquerer
She had shining red hair, a beautiful, delicate-featured face and a tiny, shapely frame – she didn't quite make 5'.
She was stunning.
She was also a greedy, scheming, conniving megalomaniac, with an ability which, combined with her looks and her devious nature, made her thoroughly lethal.
This was Jordanna. And she reckoned the whole world would soon know it …..
The singing Impossibles were eagerly discussing their next concert, to take place in a couple of day's time.
"Unusual venue for us, isn't it"? Multi Man stated. "Apparently, lots of official meetings for all manner of important organizations and hot-shot companies take place in the various rooms all the time", Fluid Man explained, "That's why they limited the number of tickets which could be allocated, for security reasons". "Well, hopefully we won't disappoint those who did get tickets", Coil Man added, "And it's certainly a luxurious place to watch our show"!
Jordanna was also looking forward to that day …..time to get some nice jewellery for the occasion, she told herself. Soon, she was striding up to the formidable doors of The Rock Emporium – the classiest – and most expensive – jewellers in Empire City. The items on display in the windows had no prices on them. Not at all surprising; quite apart from being true to the old adage "If you have to ask, you can't afford it", they probably didn't make price-tags that big. Not that Jordanna had any plans on paying prices of that magnitude ….. she pushed the door-bell and was led into the store past the 2 burly guards at the entrance. Picking out a number of items, she asked for several to be set aside, stating; "Yes, I'm very interested in these", and requesting the final price. When the salesman had finished reciting the long number, she looked him steadily in the eyes and said, huskily; "As I'm purchasing a number of these. I'm sure we could do a deal – come to some arrangement for a discount" … after fifteen minutes, during which she haggled him down to more and more crazily low prices, he agreed to a final one - $10.
She was out of the shop and back home before the shocked salesman came to his senses and realised just what he'd – literally –let her get away with. He would be working at the shop for a quarter of his wage until he was 150 years old before he paid back what he'd just lost them, he reckoned!
Back home, Jordanna gloated over her haul; glowing green emeralds, topaz the color of root-beer, sapphires in blue, yellow, green, purple, set into substantial gold and platinum mounts; a few natural fancy-color diamonds, too, pinks, yellows, purples; no red ones, the rarest natural color, but there was one of those in the Smithsonian institute – she'd have that, given time!
"Well. It wasn't me"! Europa replied jokingly when Multi told her about the jewellery shop incident during her break. "H'mm – I could only afford an item from their cheapest range", she indicated her signet ring, "and even then I had to save for ages …. And I felt like I was in a rather luxurious maximum-security prison, with those guards keeping their eyes on me like they did – not that I blame them, with the value of all the stuff in there"! "Those prices are scary" Multi agreed, "Don't know who buys their most expensive stuff"! "Europa smiled at him and finished off her huge mug of tea. "Better get another of these to keep me going", she said, "I've a pile of filing almost as high as this building to do"!
Meanwhile, Jordanna had managed to persuade several more expensive shops to part with their wares at knock-down prices, as well as obtaining rather large amounts of cash from banks she didn't have an account with. And any police officers or security guards – when they were actually called – seemed unable to make the decision to arrest her – until some time after they had let her go ….
It was a really smart event the Impossibles were providing the music for. The limited number of tickets had been quickly snapped up. The boys were in the dressing-room, getting ready to go on stage , having rehearsed their set earlier in the day. "H'mm ….. I wonder if there's any more news about that girl who's been swindling the shops and banks"? Multi wondered out loud as he brushed his hair in front of the mirror. "Apparently got a lot of cash from a couple more bank branches in her unique way that requires neither check book, I.D. or threats", Fluey replied, straightening his collar. "Just caught it on the T.V. set in the foyer", " I have a feeling we will be dealing with her very soon – or attempting to", Coiley muttered. "Somehow, she's deflected all attempts to arrest her up to now".
In another part of the building, there was a meeting of Empire City's municipal division. It was just about to end when Jordanna, having persuaded the doorman that she was permitted to enter the exclusive suite, identified the head of the organisation. She was looking very prosperous and businesslike, she thought, even if she did say so herself, wearing a sleek black dress and selected items of the exclusive jewellery she'd deceptively obtained. Heads turned in admiration as she walked confidently into the room.
She sidled up to the head and simpered; "I have some very - effective – ways of improving our local government and it's administration". she stated, looking up at him with a persuasive smile. It only took a few minutes for him to agree to a meeting in his office to discuss her ideas the next day, "In fact – we can go right now", he enthused. Jordanna agreed, smirking; she knew he was going to say that!
Later, sitting in his leather-upholstered swivel chair, she dictated her plans while he took notes. "Control of all banks and other financial institutions in Empire City to be passed exclusively to me", she stated, "Also the power to change any local laws and regulations how and when I like, to take immediate effect as soon as I decide", she added.
"Today – Empire City – soon – the White House" , she declared, "Then … the world! Global domination"! The official nodded meekly. She put her feet - clad in shoes from the most exclusive fashion store in Empire City – on the desk, ankles crossed, and took a cigar from an ornate box, lighting it and inhaling as she put it to her lips. She nearly choked on the pungent fumes, so she stubbed it out and clamped it between her teeth purely for the effect.
She then dismissed the official, telling him to come back in an hour when she had decided what other changed she was going to make to the running of Empire city. By the time half an hour had elapsed, however, he realised what she had been up to ….. and how he'd fallen for it….. and also remembered recent news reports…
Just as they had finished their second encore, the Impossibles received an urgent call from Big D detailing Jordanna's whereabouts; changing to their super hero identities, they made their way there in the Impossimobile with cries of "Rally-Ho and away we go"!
The boys entered the office where Jordanna resided, directed by it's very embarrassed rightful occupant. As she had taken his keys and given him a code-word to use so she would let him in again, Fluey switched to his liquid phase to force the door off it's hinges. The Impossibles entered, fully intending to arrest her. She wasn't having that, she decided, even by a good-looking bunch like these ….. she particularly liked the short, chubby one - very nice, she mused … both he and the dark-haired one in the wetsuit-like costume were already under her powerful influence. She observed with surprise, however, that the slim one with the mop of red hair seemed strangely unaffected ….
"We have to take her in, guys"! Multi urged the others. "Yes, she's gorgeous but that hardly excuses what she's been up to"! "We can't do that", Coiley protested, "Can't you tell she's totally innocent of all those dastardly accusations" "Of course she is; no way would she have done any such things", Fluey agreed. While they were arguing, she slipped out of the room, out of the building and into the street.
It didn't take long after she had escaped for Coiley and Fluey to come to their senses. Off they went in the Impossimobile to find Jordanna.
"You were so right, Multi", Coiley declared, exasperated. "Goodness knows how she had Fluey and me fooled"! Fluey, speechless for once, just shook his head.
When they did find her, she had just raided another exclusive store in her inimitable way, and, laden with designer carrier-bags, she was sweet-talking a group of police officers who had been sent to deal with her "Turn yourself in"! Fluey shouted to her; while Multi was trying to assure the officers that they did indeed need to arrest her. "I'm not taking any of these accusations any more", she declared haughtily and stormed off.
She came up against a hippie-ish looking guy in an Afghan coat, wearing a flowing scarf and mirrored shades, who gently but firmly grasped her wrists. "Please let me go", she pleaded, I need to escape – they have it all wrong" ….It dawned on her that her power wasn't working on him. He retained his grip and declared; "If the Dibble and these other dudes are so eager to catch you, I reckon you'r definitely a chick up to no good"!
.
Suddenly, something occurred to Fluey. "Can someone borrow this guy's scarf", he said, indicating the hippie's neckwear, "and blind-fold her with it – but watch out for her kicking; she could do some damage with those heels"! Coiley sprung forward, and, following Fluey's instruction, blind-folded a protesting Jordanna., while Multi duplicated into two in order to take a firm hold of her while she was handcuffed. "You can take her into custody now", Fluey continued, indicating the police officers, "but whatever you do, avoid direct eye contact with her – use glasses with one-way lenses, on yourselves or her, speak to her from the back, whatever; just don't look into her eyes while they and yours are both uncovered"!. The hippie was praised for making a citizen's arrest and promised a reward. "Hey, man, glad to have helped you dudes in the pursuit of justice – happy to accept the reward, though – mustn't appear ungrateful"! he declared.
Jordanna was taken into custody and a batch of shades with one-way glass were ordered for anyone dealing directly with her.
"I put two and two together", Fluey exclaimed. "What did Multi and the hippie guy have in common"? He waited for a moment, then answered his own question; "Jordanna couldn't look either of them directly in the eyes ! The hippie had on those mirrored glasses which the wearer can see out of but an onlooker couldn't see into – as for Multi " …. He didn't need to say any more
Multi's shaggy hairstyle, with it's long, eye-covering bangs, was widely acknowleged to be "impossibly" cute and appealing, both in his musician and super-hero identities; on this occasion, it had also proved to be his defence against Jordanna's power. "So – you could say, in her case, the eyes have it – but only if they get the chance"! Fluey concluded.
"It seems that if she can make direct eye contact, she can form some sort of conduit between her optic nerves and those of her victim, and through it access their brain to persuade them to see things her way", the neuro-psychologist explained to the Impossibles, "Perhaps people through history who have been considered extremely charismatic and irresistible had something of the same power"?
,
In her cell, behind a pane of one-way glass, Jordanna was speaking with Coiley, who had been given permission to talk to her. In spite of everything, she was actually pleased about this .A pity, though, that they were on different sides of the law …..
"You are bright, resourceful, and beautiful", Coiley said to Jordanna, "and I think, in spite of all you've been up to, you are basically a decent person. So", he added, "with all that going for you, why did you need to turn to crime? You are capable of achieving so much without breaking a single law"! He paused; if only things were different ….. or perhaps they could be ….?
"Do think about what I said ", he finished, "Things could be so much better for ….. well, they could be better …
Finally, she replied, simply; "I do wonder about that" ….
When he left, she reflected upon his words; could he be right? Could he …
Time would tell.….
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