The first time that Soul and Maka had tried to get extra lessons from Stein, it hadn't worked out well. They'd argued. They'd argued and Maka had nearly gotten herself killed because of it. She liked to tell Soul he was exaggerating when he put it quite that way, but he still hated seeing the permanent callouses on her palms that had come from the burns those many years ago. He hated the scars at her rib cage when Free had dug his claws in to try and bring her down with him. It was a reminder of what he believed to be a major fuck up brought on by arrogance and stubborn qualities. Really, they'd just been two stupid teenagers, but he wasn't very good at being rational when it came to beating himself up over his meister's injuries.
He'd been almost positive that they'd never need to take an extra lesson again. Being a Death Scythe was as good as it got, wasn't it? There wasn't any need for further baggage, minus the discovery of new skills and training them to perfection. That had to be enough to distract a person for hours on end, didn't it?
Apparently not for one Maka Albarn. Oh no. As Soul had found himself sitting in that familiar room with those same funny smelling candles, he was trying his hardest to keep in a string of curses that wanted to come to the surface. He hated school on normal days - adding in times when he could be sleeping or eating or something more fun and relaxing than more work. He, yet again, hadn't had a say in all this, but as a dutiful weapon, he was sitting next to his meister, staring at the ground and letting his foul mood radiate around them. She hadn't said he had to go and be happy about all this. He just had to show up.
In all honesty, they probably needed it. Little by little, they'd been arguing more and more frequently. Their wavelengths had started to get that same messy vibe they'd had and she'd complained he was starting to get heavier than before. She'd tried to blame it on him snacking too much, but they both knew it wasn't the case. The constant bickering, the drawn out silences that followed. It was taking it's toll and they needed to know how to make it better. Their professors had never led them wrong and he supposed she'd figured they wouldn't this time, either.
"The source of your problems," Stein had said quite seriously, not really staring at either of them as he spoke, "is that you're keeping secrets. A weapon meister partnership can not succeed if either party isn't fully honest. Secrets will only ever breed resentment, which is something that will slowly eat away at your soul wavelengths until they're pushed apart entirely."
It sounded simple enough. Be upfront with his partner and things would work out. The two had once again decided to lay everything out on the table and, just like last time, it had ended in both of them not speaking their entire walk home. He'd known this was a bad idea from the start. He'd reminded her of what had happened last time and she'd been so sure this wasn't how it was going to go again. But no. They never learned. They always pointed out their faults and neither could ever take the full criticisms.
This time, though, Stein had sent Maka home with a couple of candles of her own. He'd said to light them at least a few times a day and just sit and talk with one another. He hadn't wanted them to give up and while Soul thought it was stupid and pointless, he'd begrudgingly agreed, hoping that it would help this rut the two teenagers had seemed to have gotten themselves in. He'd hoped that something would come of it, something other than the destruction of a painfully built friendship, and that it would more importantly come quickly.
Dinner had been cooked and eaten in complete silence. Neither wanted to rock the boat further than they already had. It wasn't until later, when he was sitting in his room letting the fan blow air from outside across his overheated skin, that Maka had finally been the one to try and approach.
"I think we should give it another go."
Soul sighed, looking up from the comic in his hands to stare at her blankly. "Why? Without a referee, we might just end up killing each other if we do it so soon after our first session." He looked back at the panels, grumbling under his breath. "I don't know about you, but I was feeling pretty homicidal for a second back there."
He heard the scoff and the roll of her eyes and was sure that she was going to drop it and go back to her room. Pigheaded as ever, Maka instead came into his room, closing the door behind her and went to set up the candles near his bed. He didn't say anything, choosing to try and act like he didn't actually notice, even when the familiar strange scent started to get blown around with the somewhat less hot than outside air from the fan. Not even when he felt his bed shift as she moved to sit on it, curling her knees up under her chin and watching him quietly. No, he wasn't going to cave. He was going to keep reading about Captain America and his meister could take those candles and shove it.
"You don't want to be my partner anymore."
The words echoed in the room for a long moment. Soul said nothing, too shocked to respond. He finally dropped the comic onto the floor, staring at her in both fury and shock. He didn't know what to say. What could you say to something like that?
"Excuse me?"
"That's how I feel. That's what I'm not telling you. I'm afraid you want one of those other meisters. The cute ones who flirt with you and treat you nicely and always ask you to transfer. You're getting so distant, Soul - you're not telling me things, I know that Stein's not lying about that. You're pulling away from me. You don't want to be with me anymore, you're going to leave me -"
Soul groaned, cutting her off momentarily as he ran his hands over his face. Where was this all coming from? How had she gone so insane and started jumping to all these conclusions? Why were women so prone to this kind of shit? "For fucks sake, that's not it."
"Then what is it!" He looked up to her, surprised by how furious her tone had become, and was even more shocked to find that she'd started to form tears at the corners of her eyes. "I can't fix things if you don't tell me. Why would you want to stay with someone you argue so much with? Why is our wavelength suffering so badly? Is it something I'm doing? Is it something I can change? I can't lose you, Soul, I can't have you run off with some other girl and leave me, I wouldn't -"
He'd quickly maneuvered on the bed so he could pull her into his arms, hugging her to his chest tightly to cut her off. She was stiff for a moment, muttering for him to not touch her, to leave her alone, but her protests were half-hearted and she eventually molded against him, leaning in and almost clinging to his arms with her hands. She was trying to be strong and failing.
"I'm not going to leave you," he said softly. The very thought made his heart ache and he couldn't believe he'd led her to think something so ridiculous. He could never imagine himself with another meister. He could never think of letting someone other than Maka into such an important role in his life. He held on to her tightly, wanting her to know he was there, he was solid, and he was not going anywhere. "I told you a long time ago, Maka. Cool guys don't cheat on their partners. You don't have to worry about me wanting anyone else."
She pulled back enough to look up at him, shaking her head. "You'll find a girl you love more than me and you'll want to move in with her, to love only her, and you'll leave. I know you will."
Those were words he'd been dreading hearing. Having to finally confront this topic they'd been so good at dancing around. Both never dated anyone, they never went to try and find someone else who could bring them happiness that they were supposed to have. Maka was able to credit her lack of interest to a bad role model in romantic relationships that made her irrationally angry at all men. Soul had no such excuse. He was just never interested, approached by the wrong type, wanting to focus on his career for now, and a thousand other excuses he'd come around over the years. None of which were ever far from the truth, but were never quite honest, either. She couldn't read his mind though, could she? She'd always assume that deep down, he wanted to find a girl to love and settle down with - someone other than Maka.
"Dammit," he muttered. He leaned forward to place his head against her shoulder, closing his eyes and sighing. He had an urge to tell her everything, to show her how wrong she was, but his thoughts couldn't be formed so easily. "Maka, I..." He sat straight again, going to look at her, to try to find a way to say this. To make it clear he never would leave her behind, no matter who he loved. She would always be his first and foremost important person. She would always be the number one of every relationship in his life.
The words were cheap in his head though and would sound even worse out loud. Nothing was good enough for her. Nothing was ever going to get what he really felt out in the open. No amount of rambling could satisfy those emotions and he hated himself for not having a vocabulary expansive enough to get across how he really felt. There was a bubble of frustration in his tummy, an anger at himself for not understanding his own feelings better, and he was almost blinded by that anger. He could show her. He could show her how much she meant to him, but it could destroy everything they already had. Was it worth it? Could he find the courage?
His hands held onto her shoulders tightly and without thinking, without letting himself worry about that rejection, he pulled her close and crushed his lips against hers in a kiss that he'd been holding back for too many years. Maka was stiff and confused, staying there and letting him do what he wanted, but not quite reciprocating at first. He pulled away when he felt that, yanking himself back and going to try and stand up.
"I'm sorry, that was stupid. It was uncool of me. I should've asked. You should probably go back to your -"
She pulled him in for another kiss, hand linked behind his neck and trying to pull him closer to her. He let her maneuver herself into his arms again as his mind registered what was going on and he was quick to return the affection. It didn't take long for the kiss to deepen, tongues exploring as hands roamed. He could feel a fire in his body, a twist in his stomach that bubbled with excitement.
For all his making fun of her lack of sex appeal, Maka was one hell of a kisser.
He picked her up enough with one of his arms to flip her onto her back, pressing his body fully against hers and roughly into the mattress. Hips began moving on their own according, grinding and undulating against one another, and the heat from his stomach slowly began to spread through his entire body. They had opened a flood gate that couldn't be stopped and his fingers worked at her clothing, removing each piece with fumbling hands and muttered apologies. Their teeth bumped against one another, their lips occasionally getting caught up in the mess, and each time they would laugh or cringe, realizing just how inexperienced both were.
He'd nearly lost it when his fingers found their way between her legs. The heat their was overwhelming, the wetness that coated his fingers sending a burning sensation all the way through him and making it hard to contain himself for much longer. He thought of something else, anything that would keep him from losing it too quickly, to keep his mind off of just how good she felt underneath him. His hands moved with less than expert precision, but he listened for moans and sighs to push him in the right direction. She moved against him, body reacting on its own accord, and he let out a sigh of pleasure against her ear as she dug her nails into the skin of his back.
Eventually, they moved on to more. Soul had fumbled to get a condom from the drawer, wasting two before he finally figured out how to put it on just right, and by then, she had found herself almost frustrated out of her own arousal. But his hands had gone back to touching and it wasn't long before he was able to get himself buried deep inside of her. She whimpered, stiff and hurting, but not as in quite as much pain as either had expected. They moved together, though only for brief moments. Those few minutes he had been able to hold back had been like heaven, but it was cut short by the growing need inside of him and a lack of training to keep himself composed.
He had refused to leave her unsatisfied, though. He let his hands find their way between her legs again, touching her until she was able to come herself, and it was only then that he was willing to lay beside her and bask in the glow of an awkward and messy first love making session. It had been enough to speak all the words the two had kept from one another and he could feel a steady beat between them. A rhythm of music that had been missing for far too many weeks now.
Soul smiled softly, burying his face into Maka's hair, and quietly muttered; "Maybe I'll have to thank Stein for those stupid candles after all."