Severus sat alone in his compartment, staring out at the countryside, watching as the hours ticked by. He had spent the last several days thinking about what to do. Joining the Death Eaters was no longer an option, but he was still a Slytherin, and he certainly wasn't one of Dumbledore's cronies. Running a hand through his hair, Severus sighed. This was going to be a long term.
"Knock Knock, Can I come in?" a voice asked.
Severus looked up to find none other than Sirius Black standing in the doorway of his compartment. "What do you want?" he asked, annoyed. Now was not the time to fight with his nemesis.
"Can I come in?" Sirius repeated. "I only have a few minutes before James comes looking for me and the charms I put up to stop people from noticing us will work better if the door is closed."
Severus looked at Sirius, trying to figure out what he was up to. But all he could see on Sirius' face was pain and exhaustion. "Fine, wouldn't want anyone to see me with you."
Sirius stepped in, leaning heavily on a cane, his steps awkward and lurching. "Touché, I do have a reputation to uphold."
Severus raised an eyebrow at the cane, and Sirius grimaced.
"Dark magic is hard to heal, as I am sure you can imagine. James is already spreading stories about a wild broomstick adventure through muggle London," he added with a laugh.
"What did you want to say to me?"
"Right. I wanted to sat thanks for what you did. I know we don't get along…"
Severus scoffed. "Don't get along? You and Potter antagonize and attack me every opportunity you get!"
Sirius sighed, "I think, if you look back on events from a neutral standpoint, you will find that is not the case. Not to say we were innocent… but I digress. I just wanted to say thank you. And to let you know there are more than two sides to this conflict," Sirius finished as he leveraged himself up with his cane and the table. As he opened the door to leave, he turned his head and added, "Voldemort is wrong, but then so too is Dumbledore. You have more choices, think on it."
Severus watched as Sirius limped down the hallway, laughing and smiling at everyone who stopped to talk to him. He seemed so at ease and happy, at such odds with that he had shown to Severus in the compartment. And, suddenly, a realization itched at Severus. It was an act. An act that Sirius seemed so comfortable with. How much of what he did was an act? And when did Black become Sirius? Severus leaned back and watched the scenery fly by. Somehow, in the space of a week, his entire world had changed.
It was about a month into the term when Severus realized what felt so different. He hadn't fought with Potter or Sirius once. They still shared classes together, and the occasional barb was thrown, but for the most part, he ignored them and they ignored him. Which was what led him to think about his interactions with the pair over the past five years.
"I think if you look back on it from a neutral standpoint," Sirius had suggested. So, that's what he did.
It had started first year, as most Gryffindor-Slytherin feuds did. He and Potter had thrown insults at each other from across the hallways. Things like "slimy snake" and "dumb lion." Harmless, childish insults of eleven-year-olds. Sirius had not been friends with Potter at the time. An outcast in Gryffindor for being an evil Black. He had been quiet, studious, and frankly, a little bit odd. Which was what led Severus to start up against him. Lucius had suggested it, and Severus, eager to prove his place to the sixth year had happily obliged. But Sirius had been slow to retaliate. And when he did, it was often sneaky and cunning. Rather Slytherin if he thought about it.
It wasn't really until second year, when Potter had become friends with Sirius that they had truly become enemies. And still, it was largely a childish clash of character. The two Gryffindors were loud, rich, and athletic purebloods while Severus was a poor half-blood outcast. No, the real hexing had started in third year. And now that he thought about it, that had been when he had joined up with Avery, Mulciber, and such. And while Potter had been quick to respond to every verbal barb with a hex, Sirius tended only to retaliate if he was attacked. Retaliate with force, yes, but true to what Sirius had claimed, he had not been in the habit of starting it.
And the pattern continued, escalating in frequency and force as Severus became closer and closer to Avery, Mulciber, and crowd. Until this winter. When he had watched Sirius' parents torture their child. When Regulus had acted like it was no big deal, and Sirius had lain, dying on his dining room floor, and begged Severus to kill him.
Sirius Black. The person he had seen in the dining room and on the train, was very different from the boy who walked the halls of Hogwarts. The question was, which one was the real Sirius Black? And what was this third side of the was Sirius had mentioned?
It was the second week of February, during a Hogsmeade weekend when Lily approached him.
"Severus! Sev!" she called jogging to catch up to him as he crossed the street to the bookstore. "How are you? It's been forever since I last saw you. How was your break? I didn't see you at all!"
Severus glanced nervously around. He had, in truth, been avoiding Lily since the break. While the Slytherins had yet to turn on him, they were starting to realize he had no intention of joining the Death Eaters at the end of the year. As such, he no longer had any influence to protect Lily with. Just as he was about to brush Lily off, he noticed Sirius leaning against the side of the bookstore, giving him a not. Curious.
"I am well, Lily," he finally responded turning to look at her. "I have merely been busy. It is our OWL year after all."
"Of course! And you have always been devoted to your studies. But surely you must have some time for friends?"
"I have no…" he trailed off as he saw Sirius gesture to the bookstore as he grabbed his cane and entered. Severus blinked, but for some reason he trusted Sirius. "I have no reason why we cannot spend time together now. I was headed to the bookstore. Care to join me?"
"I would love to!" Lily responded, stepping up next to him as they crossed the street and into the store.
As they walked amongst the shelves, chatting amiably and examining the books, Severus caught Sirius watching the pair unobtrusively from a corner shelf. But a second glance revealed Sirius was not so much watching them as everyone else. He was… guarding them. Well, Lily in all likelihood. Severus had put Lily in danger. Was Sirius also aware that he had previously protected her? For some reason, he thought so.
All in all, it was a lovely afternoon. He and Lily caught up, and he felt at least, renewed their friendship. While Lily was, and always had been his first and most important friend, their relationship had deteriorated since third year.
"It was lovely seeing you," Lily remarked. "I am glad you are no longer spending all your time with those boys," she added as she paid for book.
"As am I," Severus replied.
"Lily!" Severus heard Sirius cry jovially. "Fancy seeing you here!"
"Why Sirius, it's a bookstore, you are the less likely customer."
"I read!" he protested, giving Severus a subtle nod. "But enough with books! I'm meeting Remus as his date at the Three Broomsticks. Join me so I won't be an awkward third wheel? Please?"
Lily looked to Severus, who was now holding her purchases. "Go on," Severus replied to her silent question. "I was planning on heading back to the castle soon. I have a new potion I wish to try and Professor Slughorn has generously provided me with brewing space this evening. I will see you around later."
"Alright, have fun with your brew! I'll see you around," Lily responded, giving Severus a quick hug.
She turned to leave and Severus gave Sirius a slight nod as Lily hooked her arm around his cane hand. They might not be friends, but he could appreciate Sirius looking out for his friend. Especially since he did so without letting her realize what he was doing. Not only would Lily not appreciate them thinking she was vulnerable, but she would demand to know why they thought it was necessary. That was not a conversation Severus wanted to have.