Authors Note:

This story takes place from the view of either Percy or Jason but as for the guy they're taking about, I'll leave that up for you to decide.

Sinking, Drowning, Gone

Somehow it hurts inside.

There's a deep sinking feeling over my heart and my body feels like its disappearing into quicksand. My heart feels like a spastic watch thats going to break but its spinning and going so fast in the last few seconds you wonder if it'll make it. This is me. The feeling that I get each day as I stare into his face and know he can't and will never be mine. The feeling I get when I see her with him. The feeling I get just from rolling out of bed to stare at the sight of the empty cabin around me.

I'll see him look at me and smile and I'll smile back and for a few seconds it's all ok. But as soon as he turns to laugh at something she says it all comes crashing back down again, even worse than before.

I used to be in the center of attention with true friends galore and all smiles. But somewhere along the way of watching him, I slipped into the background and into my own little world. A world spinning dangerously out of orbit. Now I sit at my table alone, eat alone, and keep to myself during classes with a few well placed smiles to keep everyone fooled. I train until my body's numb and until I bleed and feel the skin start to peel from my hands. It keeps me occupied so I don't have to think about it.

Buts always about him. Its a never ending circle. I'll try to block him out but it'll seep through the cracks, the sight of him, the news of him, all him. I can't escape.

Today feels the worst. They are hanging all over each other today. He laughs so loudly. The sounds of the world seem to have disappeared, leaving only sharp pieces of conversation and laughs from those around him.

He catches my eye and when the others are distracted, looks at with a face that says 'what's wrong?'. I just shake my head and smile 'I'm fine'. This smile however, doesn't reach my eyes. When he looks away I vanish, running as fast as my legs will take me to the forest. I jog around the trees and the monsters keep their distance. I jog and run so far I reach the other side of the forest. A small private beach, surrounded by trees, greats me. Its calming there with only the surf crashing in and the occasional bird from the woods. I lay there staring at the sky and feel myself draining from my body, sinking into the waves and out into the open air where it can just be. It hurts, feeling yourself slip away and yet you're not dying, you're just...disappearing. Yet that part of me that's now gone feels like its finally feel and content.

The sky begins to darken and the sun slowly sinks back into the gateway of night. The darker it becomes, the colder it becomes, and the less of me there is. It is only when I feel those final parts starting to slip away do I hear footsteps -first walking, now running towards me. And there he is like a knight in shining armour. He pulls my head into his lap, almost screaming for me to tell him whats wrong, whats happening, how. I just smile and reach my heavy hand off the sand and he grasps it, knowing what I want immediately. I feel a trickle of warmth in my heart, which now beats ever so softly. I feel a small part of myself come back and anchor onto him. I wonder if that piece is strong enough to hold on long enough for enough of me to come back. I wonder if it wants to come back. If it should come back.

I can only try.

AN: R & R please

~Authoress