Disclaimer: I of course do not own Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy or the Astronomy Tower, (as much as I'd like to) They all belong to the brilliant J.K Rowling. I also want to say that the idea for this story came from the song Hate Me by Blue October… which I also do not own.
Sitting on the ledge of a window, framed by the moon and the falling snow, was 17 year old Harry Potter. Nine months. It was such a short time, yet felt like an eternity. Nine short months. The thought would never make sense. Just 36 weeks ago, he had truly lived for the first time; he finally understood what it meant to be in love.
Staring out at the snow, clips of the past seven years ran like some twisted horror film in his head. But the last nine months, those were like heaven.
The sound of the astronomy tower door closing snapped Harry from his thoughts as he turned and smiled upon the sight of the love of his live. His smile wavered however when he saw the tears falling from those brilliant silver eyes.
"Draco?" Harry's brows knitted together, "Oh my god, what's wrong?" he gracefully dissented from the windowsill and quickly walked towards the blonde. He placed his hands on either side of Draco's face, wiping a stray tear from his cheek.
Draco pushed away Harry's hand and turned away, shoulders shaking, leaving a hurt and confused look on the darker boys face. With questioning eyes Harry placed his hand on the obviously tormented young mans shoulder.
Draco whipped around, forcing Harry to back up, his back against the wall. "I can't do this Potter, not any more," Draco's soft voice muttering those words was almost more than Harry could take. "I can't. I want to but I can't. The thought of me hurting you is more that I can bear. I can't do this to you anymore. I won't love you in secret while I have to hurt you in front of the world, and I can't love you in front of my father. He would use me against you and I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Please say that you'll never love me. Please say that you will never try to reach me. Potter, you have to hate me!" Draco pleaded, a look of anguish in his eyes.
"Wwwhat? Draco, you don't really mean that. Our love, doesn't it mean anything to you?" the young man said sharply as he continued to look confused and hurt.
"Oh, Harry please. I need you to hate me. Hate me for all the things I've done to you. Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you."
"You didn't answer my question." Harry breathed a shaky breath, trying to regain control of his emotions. "Doesn't our love mean anything to you?"
Turning away Draco looked at the floor. "That's not fair. You have so much more strength than I do Potter. Even if "us" did matter to me, I wouldn't be able to fight for you."
"So all those nights, while I sat there listening to you ramble on about your past, about the drugs and the cutting? All those times I told you how strong you were and how proud I was of you for getting past all that? None of it mattered?"
"Of course it did! You know I've been sober for three months now. I fought to keep you then and now I have no more strength. What will it take for you to let me leave? How far do I have to go before your heart can leave me behind? Can't you see? I'm saying good bye, I may kick myself later but I know that this is what's best for you. I've made so many mistakes, being responsible for another one of your wounds is not one I'm willing to add to the list."
"You selfish bastard! Don't you dare try to tell me what's good for me. Don't you understand that I love you?" Harry said as tears of frustration threatened to escape.
"But, please Harry…" Draco started as he fell to his knees.
"No buts Draco, if you want me to forget you, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me anymore."
"I… I can't… you know that it would be a lie. I love you so much; I would give my life for you." Draco hung his head as a few tears fell to the floor.
"Then we'll have to get through this, you and me. I love you Draco, and you love me… that's all that matters right now. What's coming will come, and I don't know if I could face it without you… you have to be there for me… I need you."
Harry brought his hand to the side of his lovers face and got down on his knees. They sat there for just a moment, emerald meeting silver, until Draco finally broke down and allowed himself to be held by the only person he ever truly trusted.
Although it would be hard they knew that nine months, 36 weeks, or 273 days; No matter how you counted it, nine months is not enough time to live, to love.
Sorry if this is absolutely terrible… I'm not too happy with it as of right now… maybe I'll try to redeem myself by writing a Tonks/Lupin fic… I'm soo much better at those… Review please!