Wishin' and Hopin'
By Mel and Nathalia
Chapter 1: Baby Girl Grey
When I was a kid, I was secretly jealous of the kids I knew who had siblings. Every year since age 5 I wished for one. But by the time I was 10 I had grown up enough to know that it wasn't going to happen. My mom wasn't going to have anymore kids. Little did I know that I already had a sister named Ellie. We met when I was thirteen and she was sixteen. We're not like those sisters who tell each other every little detail of our lives. But we have a good relationship. Well, as best of a relationship as the women in my family know how to have. She lives in Manhattan with her 19 month-old daughter Jordan and is starting her fifth year of residency at Bellevue Hospital.
As a mother, Ellie is completely different than our mother was with us. In fact she's the complete opposite. She takes Jordan with her everywhere. I call them the dynamic duo. She's very affectionate and loving with Jordan. And as a result my niece has flourished. She has a vocabulary well above the average of kids her age and she's very bubbly and happy 99 of the time. Unfortunately, I haven't seen them much since my internship started. But that's also my mother's fault.
My mother is the primary reason that Ellie stayed in New York after Jordan was born. I tried to get her to come to Seattle, but she wouldn't. When Ellie was a sophomore in college, she and my mother got in a fight. Still to this day, I have no idea why. But that's not really important. After it was all over, mom refused to pay for the rest of Ellie's education at NYU and that was the end of a functional relationship for them.
The irony of it all is that Jordan loves my mother and she loves Jordan. But the only time they're ever in Seattle is for Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Easter.
I'm rambling, aren't I? I tend to do that when I'm nervous. Anyway my point is that I always wanted a sibling and I got one. But I never thought I'd get another one, especially now. But I am and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Ellie was very indifferent about the whole thing. But then again, she has that luxury because she doesn't live with our mother, she's 3,000 miles away. But right now, I'd give anything for her to be here because I'm not ready for this yet.
Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
Meredith Grey stood just outside the doors leading to operating rooms 1-4. She was still dressed in her scrubs. Bailey had pulled her off the floor an hour and a half earlier to tell her that her mother had gone into labor early. 7 weeks to be exact. She paced the floor. They had taken her in 30 minutes ago and still nothing. She was just about to sneak inside and try to get into the scrub room when Cristina came out.
"What's going on? Is my mother ok?"
"She's fine, they took her into recovery."
"I'm going to go see her," Meredith said and made a move to go through the doors.
"Mere wait," Cristina said grabbing her arm.
"What?" Meredith asked, looking at her.
"Your mom said not to let you in."
"Why would she say that?"
"The baby, your sister—"
"I have a sister?"
"Yes. She—" Cristina started but she was interrupted by the doors opening. Alex wheeled through with an incubator containing the newest member of the Grey family.
A nurse was on the other side but Meredith could clearly see the tiny form inside with dozens of tubes around going in and out of her. But she didn't really see the baby. Instead all she saw was the large lump taking up the space on her abdomen.
"Oh my god," Meredith breathed. "She has an—"
"Omphalocele," Cristina finished. "Bailey will examine her in the NICU," She said softly.
"But how-how did this happen? Why wasn't this caught on the ultrasound?"
"It was a couple of months ago."
"Why didn't she tell me?" Meredith asked, clearly shocked.
"I don't know. Dr. Montgomery is in the recovery room talking to her now."
Meredith nodded slowly, "What time is it?"
"What?"
"What time is it?"
"10pm, why?" Cristina asked consulting her watch.
"I need to call my sister," She said before walking away.
Barricading herself in the nearest on-call room, Meredith took a deep breath. Ellie wouldn't be too happy about the late night phone call. But she had no choice. If Ellis Grey refused to see her own children, things were bad. Slowly, she took her phone out of her pocket and dialed Ellie's number.
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Eliot Grey was sound asleep, her child cradled in her arms, when the phone rang. Ever since Jordan was born she'd been a light sleeper, and as soon as the shrill sound of her ring echoed in the room she jolted awake, groaning. She barely glanced at the caller ID before answering.
"This is a Seattle area code and I swear to God, Addison, if this is you, I'm going to slit your throat."
"It's…El, it's me."
Ellie paused, trying to register the voice. "Meredith?"
"Y-yeah."
Ellie sat up, carefully settling Jordan's head on the pillow next to her. "What's wrong?"
"I—it's Mom."
"What about Mom?"
"She had the baby early."
"That's great. Tell our little sibling I said hello."
"No, Ellie…she's 7 weeks premature."
"We have a sister?"
"Yeah. And she—she has an Omphalocele."
Ellie sighed. "Oh no. Mere, tell Mom I'm sorry…"
"She won't see me." Meredith sighed. "She refuses to see me, or the baby."
"Meredith, there are a lot of great doctors there…"
"I don't need you here as a doctor. I need you here as my sister. Please, Ellie…"
"I…okay. I'll have to wait until morning, I need to talk to my chief of surgery and see if I can get time off."
Meredith sighed. "Okay."
"Meredith, I'll try, but I'm up for Chief Resident…"
"This is important, Ellie! I know you hate Mom, but I can't do this by myself." She said, now pacing the on-call room. "You have to come."
"Okay, fine." She sighed. Meredith sounded like she really needed someone other than boyfriend number 12, and Ellie figured the new baby could use someone too. "I'll leave a message on the chief's machine and catch the next flight out.
Meredith sighed with relief. "Thank you. I'll see you soon."
Ellie hung up the phone and slid out of bed, trying not to wake Jordan as she did so. She slipped out in to the hall and dialed the hospital.
"Bellevue Hospital."
"Jess, it's Eliot."
"Hi. Is everything alright?"
"I need Jim's voicemail, if you would please."
"Okay, sure."
Ellie waited as she was transferred, her fingers tapping against the door jam, one eye on Jordan, still asleep in the bed.
"You've reached Jim Mitchell, Chief of Surgery for Bellevue Hospital. I'm unavailable right now, but if you leave a message, I'll make sure to return your call when I return to the office. Thank you."
Ellie sighed as the machine beeped. "Jim, it's Eliot. There's been a family emergency, and I need to go to Seattle, hopefully just for a couple of days. I'll be back as soon as I can." She hung up, leaning against the wall and dialing information to get the number for the airline.
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
A few hours later, Ellie was walking in to Seattle Grace, Jordan wide awake in her arms.
"Nana?" Jordan asked, perking up at the recognition of the hospital.
"Maybe later, okay?" Jordan snuggled in response, her tiny fingers playing with the necklace Ellie was wearing. Poised as ever, Ellie refused to walk in to a place she hadn't seen in months looking like she'd just rolled out of bed. Prada shoes on her feet, a Gucci skirt and sweater hugging her body, Ellie looked every bit the Manhattanite as she strolled through the hospital.
"Eliot?"
She turned, grinning. "Mark Sloan. How've you been?"
"Fine, I guess. What bring you to Seattle?"
"My mother just had a baby."
"Oh, that's right. I didn't think you would be coming."
"Meredith called. The baby was premature."
"Addison said she has an Omphalocele."
"Yeah." Ellie sighed. "I should find my sister. It was good to see you though."
He nodded. "Yeah, you too."
She smiled and headed further in to the hospital, rounding the corner and running in to Derek Shepherd. "Christ."
"What a greeting."
"Do you know where my sister is?"
"Not even a hello?"
Ellie sighed. "Derek…"
"She's up in the NICU with Addie and the baby."
"Great, thanks." Ellie headed for the elevator, but Derek stopped her by placing his hand on her arm.
"I'm here, if you guys needed anything."
"Right. Thanks." She freed herself from him and hit the elevator button. Jordan waved at Derek, who waved back, smiling, and then headed back down the hall.
Jordan started to wiggle in Ellie's arms as they waited. She knew that this was where her Auntie Meredith and Nana worked. "Nana?" Jordan asked again hopefully.
"Later, baby. We'll see her later, okay?"
"No!" Jordan said sticking out her lower lip. "Me want Nana now peas."
Ellie sighed. "Honey, I don't know where she is. She had a baby and is resting, so we're going to have to talk to Aunt Addie about when we can see her."
Jordan looked crushed, "Nana," she whimpered softly.
"I know sweetie." She said softly, as they got off the elevator and headed for the NICU.
As Ellie and Jordan approached the NICU, Addison and Alex came out, laughing and talking. Addison briefly glanced over at Ellie and Jordan, turning back to Alex and then pausing, her head swinging back around. "Ellie?"
"Hey Add." Ellie smiled.
"Hi!" She raced over, wrapping her in a hug. "What are you doing here?"
"My mother just had a baby…"
"No, I know, but….I didn't expect you here."
Ellie shrugged. "Meredith asked me to come. She said that the baby has an Omphalocele."
"She does." Addison looked down at Jordan. "We should really talk about this without her here."
Ellie nodded. "Okay. I don't know where to put her though."
Addison thought for a moment. "Karev, can you take Jordan?"
He nodded. "Sure, Dr. Montgomery."
Ellie handed her over. Jordan looked at Ellie, confused. "Just for a few minutes, sweetie. This is Dr. Karev."
"Alex." He said, smiling. "I'm Alex."
Ellie nodded. "Just hang out with Alex for a little, okay?" Jordan nodded, watching as Addison led Ellie in to the NICU. "So that's Alex, huh?"
Addison rolled her eyes. "We are not discussing this here."
"Why not? I can't have a sex life, I have a kid. I have to live vicariously through someone."
"We're in a NICU, Ellie!"
Ellie laughed. "I'm sorry, you're right." Addison led her over to the incubator Baby Grey was in and Ellie gasped softly. "She's so small."
"She is. But she's a fighter El."
"She is?"
"For the moment your little sister is holding her own."
"Th-that's good."
"After she was born, I covered the omphalocele with protective sheeting. We're going to keep it covered with special dressings for the next week or so depending on her growth. If she has a good growth pattern we'll attempt beginning to put the organs back inside the abdominal cavity. But because she is a preemie, her breathing and over-all function is a concern."
"Right. What happens if she doesn't have a good growth pattern?"
"In terms of growth, I'm talking more about the abdominal cavity. As it stands now, we can't begin putting the organs back in because she needs some time to recover from birth and also because the cavity isn't big enough yet."
Ellie nodded. "Okay." She sighed. "How-how's Ellis?"
"Ellis is like any mother who has just had a baby with special needs. She's in shock."
"Meredith said she refused to see her."
"Yes, she did. She doesn't want the two of you to see her like this."
"Like what? Upset? Like a real person?"
"You could say that I guess."
She sighed. "Well that's ridiculous."
"It's not. She just-she doesn't want anyone to see her this way." Addison sighed, "I picked this up on ultrasound a couple of months ago. Your mother said she could handle it and told me not to say anything to you or to Meredith. But today she had to face it and that's very difficult for a mother even if they've had children."
"We--well, Mere wants to help her. How is she going to do that if she can't go in and see her?"
"Give her time. If this happened to you, would you want Jordan to see you upset?"
"Well, no, but Jordan is two."
"It doesn't matter how old the two of you are babe. She's your mother and she's trying to protect you."
She sighed. "I guess. I just hope she lets people in to the room soon. Jordan is dying to see her."
Addison smirked, "Well she didn't say anything about Jordan."
"She didn't? Do you think that would be okay?"
"I would never come between a little girl and her Nana. Besides, Ellis could use some comforting right now."
Ellie nodded. "Okay."
Addison glanced at her watch, "I need to go. I'm due in surgery in 20 minutes. But maybe we can meet up tonight?"
"Yes, absolutely. I'll call you later."
"Great. See you later," Addison said and left.
Ellie went back out in to the hall and took Jordan from Alex, thanking him profusely for watching her. Alex smiled and led them down to Ellis' room. Ellie knocked on the door, letting it open slightly. "Mom?"
There was no answer to Ellie's call. Ellis was lying in bed staring out the window.
Ellie stepped inside. "Mom, I know you didn't want us in here, but Jordan wants to see you."
Jordan's eyes lit up when she saw Ellis, "NANA!" She said and started wiggling hard trying to get out of Ellie's arms.
"Hold on baby." Ellie said softly. "Mom, is it okay if I leave her?"
"She can stay," Ellis said softly.
"Okay." Ellie set Jordan on the bed, kissing her before leaving, shutting the door behind her.
Jordan crawled up to Ellis carefully and crawled into her lap, being careful not to touch too much. She sensed that her Nana was maybe hurting a little. Ellis tensed at first, never looking away from the window. She felt sick, and awful, and like it was her fault.
"Nana," Jordan said in her baby's voice. Ellis sighed, but didn't turn to look at her. Jordan tried again and this time she kissed her cheek softly. She knew her Nana liked kisses.
Ellis' hand went up to her cheek and she started to cry softly, her hands shaking a little. Jordan frowned briefly at this reaction, but then slowly and very gently, she hugged Ellis. Jordan sighed softly in response and cuddled. For her, nothing and no one mattered now. She was with her Nana. Ellis kissed her, hugging her as tight as she could. She was glad to see Jordan.
"Hiyo Nana," Jordan said.
"Hi baby girl."
"Me miss you."
"I miss you too sweetheart."
"Nana have owie?"
"Sort of sweetie."
"Me kiss better?"
"You can't kiss this one better little one."
"No?" Jordan looked disappointed at this.
She shook her head. "No. But if you hug me lots that will help."
Jordan grinned at this and hugged Ellis as tight as she could. Ellis let out a soft sigh and hugged Jordan, closing her eyes. When Ellie checked on them again, both were sleeping peacefully. Ellis had found some solace in Jordan. But the fact remained that there was still another child upstairs fighting for her own life. She had had very little human contact since her birth 12 hours before. The newborn had been surrounded by voices and hands during this time. But this place was a far cry from the warm and safe environment that she once knew. The quiet and sometimes hesitant voice that she could not know had been her mother was gone. And now in this box that was her new world, baby girl Grey was left to fight alone.
Never again That not everything is gonna be the way
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe
Lyrics- "I Shall Believe,"- Sheryl Crow
R/R please!