This is a very short and sad one shot, and it's the first one I have ever posted. A little bit scary so please be nice.
I don't own anything you may recognise in this story, I only own the story itself. Have a nice read!
Feelings. They are supposed to be good, and most of the times they are supposed to be a sign that you are sane. A sign that you're human. Happiness, sadness, fear, guilt, anger. These feelings ensure that you have a conscience, that you will do what is right. That you won't go on a killing spree just because, that you will protect the village you swore to protect.
But when the village you swore to protect nearly kills you, what do you feel then? The need to protect? When the village you swore to protect has thrown you to the wolves, what do you feel then? The need to destroy? When my village betrayed me, I didn't feel anything. I'm guessing it was shock, but I wouldn't know. It was just an empty feeling. Like there was nothing in my body, like my body was filled with air. It was an odd feeling. Nothing I had really felt before. Not this much.
The feeling I was feeling when my village threw me to the wolves reminded me of another time. A time when I had no one… No, not when I had no one, but when I had lost one of the only people I did have. When I had watched one of the only people I had, be killed right in front of me. When my village betrayed me, I had nothing left. Nothing to love, nothing to protect. Nothing to live for. If I had been a stubborn person I could have felt hatred. I could have felt the need to destroy the village that made me feel nothing. But I felt nothing.
When the village I swore to protect threw me to the wolves, I felt nothing, and so I had nothing to live for. When you have nothing to live for, you don't have the will to live. When you don't have the will to live, you don't have the will to do anything. At all.
As I lay dying here, in a pool of my own blood, in a dirty interrogation room, I have nothing to live for. Nothing to love, nothing to protect, nothing to hate. The pain was almost unbearable, the need to give up was almost overwhelming. But one thing I refused to do was give up. It might have seemed like I had. Given up that is. But I never gave up, I just gave in. Gave in to the need to fall asleep. The need to fall asleep and not wake up again.
Even when I felt nothing, I felt something. The emptiness was a feeling. I think. Feelings betrayed me. Feelings made me feel like I had nothing to live for. So are they that good? Sometimes I wonder about that even now. Even now, when I don't have a life to live for. I wonder about feelings, I wonder if I would have been better off without them.