A/N: Takes place shortly after Asao's death, and right when Sio is promoted to strategist.
"Everyone present and accounted for? Good, we can begin." The holograms flickered to life, and suddenly it seemed as if everyone actually was present–even if in reality it was just her, Vidocq, Commander Iyo and Dogoo.
"Magnifique. Let's start with a report from all platoons on the eradication process in their assigned locations…"
Though she was now the head strategist and should theoretically be paying attention to all the details, Sio couldn't help but let her mind wander a bit while Vidocq systematically went down the line of platoon leaders–Nostradamus droning on as usual about the 'could-be's' or 'might be's' based on his prophetic vision, Babe Ruth interrupting every so often with what he actually saw on the field–her mind had all but glazed over even as Vidocq nodded studiously, until his voice cut through the drone.
"San Francisco should be all right now, even up into the delta. Though, I can't say for certainty how soon that'll change…" That voice…the same one who used to tease her, that berated her, and now was the one that would never fail to captivate her attention. Rough around the edges, but smooth and (she knew from personal experience) warm, the deep timbre sometimes a mask to hide his true vulnerabilities from the rest of the world.
"Well, that's better than nothing, Jack. Moving on–"
"W-Wait!" Her mouth moved before her brain once again, and this time everybody stopped and turned to stare at her, leaving the former sniper flushing with embarrassment once again.
"…Yes? Did you wish to add something, Nobunagun?" Vidocq raised an eyebrow curiously, but did not dissuade her.
"Ah–I, uh…just, you're all…all right?" She laughed nervously and hoped her blonde co-strategist would not scold her for wasting valuable meeting time for simply catching up with her platoon. "No injuries, I hope…?"
Even separated by a few hundred kilometers and a couple of timezones, he could still read her plain as the day. Or maybe it was only her who caught the slight quirk in his lips, the way his emerald twinkled just a touch at her question. "Hmm? No, nothing major to report, Nobunagun. A couple of scratches, but that's par for course, at this stage."
A wave of relief flooded her system, even though she had already read the reports–it just wasn't the same as hearing it in person; or rather, as close as they could get to in person. "Yokatta…but seriously, be careful out there…" Forgetting for a brief second that he wasn't actually there but rather a hologram, her hand brushed out slightly, only to recoil in slight shock as it felt nothing but air.
"…Don't worry about us, Nobunagun. You just focus on tellin' us what to do, and we'll carry it out." Nobody seemed to have notice that movement except him, with the way he gently mimicked the motion back towards her fingers. A final wink, just the slightest bit before he motioned very slightly towards the Princess Geronimo, who had already launched into her status report without even waiting for the leader of the second to finish.
"Miss Nobunagun, I appreciate your concerns about your former teammates, but next time, please do try and refrain from using meeting times for chitchat." It was a message that had become something of a routine now, she and Vidocq leaving the meeting room with him chastising her yet again on either some breach of protocol or other.
"Hai…sorry; it's just, difficult…" She sighed despondently, and the blonde actually paused and sighed with her, for once. 'Former teammates'–even though she was the newest member of DOGOO, she had greatly enjoyed being part of the Second Platoon. And then to be taken away just when she thought they'd finally gotten settled and would be able to get back into the thick of things…
'…Well, technically I am still part of the Second Platoon…just, not all the time now…'
To her surprise, Vidocq did not comment further on her countless faux pas. "…I know. All this, so quickly…it's not easy to adjust to. I've had years to get comfortable with my position, and now you are being thrust into it so quickly, after so many…hurdles," he cleared his throat, not wanting to bring up the death of Kaoru Asao yet again. "But, I must say you are doing quite well…just try and be a little better about remembering certain details, oui?"
Sio nodded, glad that the Frenchman was finally coming out of his ice-cold shell and acting more like a relatable human being ever since they started formally working together. "Th-thanks, Vidocq…I have to admit, I…wasn't expecting you to be so nice to me…"
At this, the blonde raised a thin eyebrow and Sio immediately smacked herself mentally. "Agh! Wait no, that's not what I–ah, dammit…I did it again…"
"…It's quite all right, Mademoiselle Nobunagun. Truth be told, your words…are not false. I apologize if I caused you distress in the past." He bowed low, much to her remaining surprise, and then took his leave.
"Ah…Vidocq…" She heaved a sigh, making a note to write a personal letter to him apologizing for her rudeness, before shutting herself into her private quarters. It was larger than she used to have when she was but a mere holder, with slightly more fanciful furnishings, but none of that seemed to matter when it was only her. A larger bed was pointless when she slept in it by herself…
'Adam…I miss you a lot…' Sio had a feeling that Commander Iyo somehow knew of their relationship even before everything had happened, but she'd been tactful enough to not bring it up. Instead, it was only acknowledged through subtle gestures such as allowing her larger quarters to share with him and sending her to assist the Second Platoon when they needed backup. Yet still, it wasn't the same as when they were just teammates, simply soldiers who followed orders and carried out their tasks of exterminating the EIOs. The game nights with Newton and Gandhi, playing cards with Gaudi and everyone else aboard the Alex Logan, or else just simply chatting the night away in one of their rooms, him holding her warmly and nodding with an amused smile as she rambled on and on about all the different military vehicle she'd seen that day.
Now she was one of those 'top brass' whom she'd thought she'd never meet, much less calling most of the shots and actually being taken seriously. The respect was nice to be sure, but sometimes she'd trade anything to just go back to simpler times, when things weren't so complicated, before she had lost so much…
'…But you can't anymore, Sio. You know that. Just be grateful both of you are still alive…' Before her self-pitying could degrade any further however, a knock gently resounded throughout the room, followed by Saint-Germain announcing his presence.
"Yes? Come in, it's not locked." The interlocutor slipped in, looking as neat and formal as ever in his black coat and white gloves. "Do they need me for something else?"
"No, everything has been taken care of on that front." Pushing the glasses up slightly, he handed her a small memo, a short message penned with the fine elegance of the Commander's handwriting. "I am simply here to deliver a message."
Confused maroons blinked once, but accepted the message anyway as Saint-Germain showed himself out. "Message? Wonder what it's about…and why did it have to be delivered personally? She could've just paged me." Shrugging, her eyes fell across the neat script, squinting slightly to decipher the brush-like strokes that were indicative of the Commander's true age.
No more thoughts were to be had, both good and bad, as her eyes quickly scanned the message, before hastily tossing it onto her desk as she rushed to pack her essentials into the duffel.
"Jack! You sure you got the time correct?"
"Shut it Gandhi. Look, there's the heli now." A smug grin towards the Indian as the other simply shrugged in resignation, while the military chopper made its decent. The blades hadn't even stopped spinning yet before the side door opened, a small figure jumping down onto the landing pad with a bag in hand, running full speed towards him, not even caring that her hat had flown off from the gusty winds as she jumped perfectly into his arms.
"Umph! That's quite a greeting there, Sio."
"Adam! S-Sorry…I-I just, I couldn't wait to see you, so…" Her face turned scarlet with embarrassment as Adam leaned down and kissed her very slightly on the forehead, despite the muffled giggles from the other two and being in full view of the ground crew. "A-Adam…"
"Well love, you were the one who decided to literally jump me," he teased, before retrieving her hat from the ground. "I'd say that evens things up?"
"You lovebirds are too sweet," Newton joked as they walked back into the shade of the A. Logan, Sio bowing and waving to all the staff as they eagerly greeted her return. "What brings you here all of a sudden? Not that we mind of course–we've missed you!"
"Perhaps it's for a dirty weekend…" Gandhi winked at her, though Sio remained confused–only the other three seemed to have understood the joke, particularly the Ripper as he blushed furiously before attempting to elbow the other man in the stomach. "Oh come on Jack, don't be such an arse! I know you missed Sio-chan…"
"I'll say!" The blonde shook her head and pulled the younger girl aside. "He won't admit it, but he was quite depressed before you told us you'd be visiting. All moody and moping about during mealtimes…I was worried for a bit that he'd have a relapse of depression. You should've seen his face light up when we got your message." Though Newton's tone was light, Sio felt her stomach drop all of a sudden at the realization.
'Poor Adam…and here I was thinking I had it hard…' Biting her lips, she forced a smile when Gandhi suggested afternoon tea, something they hadn't indulged in for quite a while as a platoon.
The tea was a lively and welcome respite from their day-to-day activities; Gandhi and Newton filled her in with all the gossip and chatter she'd missed, including a very salacious(?) rumor about how two certain members of the First Platoon were seen together, and not just as teammates or friends. "I'm not sure what concerns me more, the fact that they might actually be serious or the age difference," Newton shuddered, before offering another helping of biscuits to the sniper.
"Still, I wish you'd come along with us more often, Sio. We miss our badass Nobunagun on the field," Gandhi winked, causing the girl to blush pink. "Seriously though, we're very proud of you. You've done so much in our war against the EIOs…even if it's…well, sad that you're no longer part of the Second Platoon permanently…you'll always be welcome here."
"Don't forget, we'll always be here for you, Sio-chan. No matter what."
"G-Gandhi…Newton…y, you guys…" Though she'd tried her best to remain calm, there was no hiding her feelings around her teammates–friends and the family she'd come to adopt ever since she became an e-gene holder. Sniffling, she gratefully accepted the tissue Adam handed her, before the entire platoon caved into a slightly-awkward hug. "Everyone…thank you…"
At the other two's instance the cleanup was left to them, with Newton practically shooing the two out of the lounge to 'go and spend some quality time' together, Gandhi making another lewd jab before being yanked back by the ear.
As soon as they rounded into a more private hallway he pulled her into a embrace, Sio eagerly burrowing into his arms before planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Oy now, I haven't seen you in weeks. I'm sure you can think of a better greeting than that," he teased and she flushed, before pulling him into a full kiss that was deep and warm. "There we go…that's my girl…"
"S-So…h, how are you doing…?" Even though she'd been looking forward to this spontaneous leave all morning, for some reason now that they were together again, it seemed as if all her nerves and insecurities were working their way up again. Newton's words about how Adam had been depressed due to her absence wormed its way into her heart, threatening to sink the joyous mood she'd just left teatime with.
"Myself? I've been all right…" The door slid open and Adam set her duffel onto the writing desk by the door, sinking into loveseat with a satisfied sigh. "I'm sure you've seen our reports…Tell comes out with us and we shoot things, Geronimo keeps insisting her kill-count is better than mine…"
She nodded, of course she'd gone through all the reports–especially his–at least a hundred times by now. "Yeah, I know…b-but, I mean, Adam…how are, you…I want to know how Adam Muirhead is doing, not Jack the Ripper."
He sat in silence for a bit, before motioning with his hand and she quietly crawled into his lap, letting him cradle her head against his chest. "Mmm…how I've been, 'ey? Should be askin' you that…Vidocq better not be giving you a hard time…"
Sio shook her head slightly, letting her head rest against his chest and listening to his heartbeat, steady and soothing. "No…he's actually a lot better now. Dunno why…maybe it's because he finally sees me as an equal? Who knows…" Somehow, just being in his embrace made her feel more relaxed, feel safer and managed to soothe the sharp aches and pains that she'd constantly dealt with ever since they returned from San Francisco.
"Even with…" His voice trailed off, but she knew what he was hinting at. Asao's death…and all the changes that had taken place so quickly afterwards. The first time she'd gone through such an emotional upheaval, she'd tried to deal with it by pushing everyone away, even though that was when she'd actually needed them the most. And look at how well that had turned out: hair turning white, dissociation between personalities, animosity towards her teammates, and the dreaded runaway e-gene incident that nearly leveled an entire city they'd been trying to save and almost killed both of them in the process…
No, she was done trying to act the lone wolf. It was only through a miracle that they'd gotten a second chance, and Sio was not going to carelessly throw it away this time.
"I'm doing quite well, honestly! Galileo says there haven't been anymore abnormalities in my heart…and you've seen for yourself! My new gun is doing just fine…" She gave a nervous smile, but it quickly dissipated under his somber expression. "I-I mean, yeah, sure it's difficult trying to move from a soldier position to a more leadership role…and I keep forgetting all the formalities," she rolled her eyes, remembering Vidocq's nagging after each meeting. "But, the Commander and Dogoo, they've been really great…and all the council members, they value my opinion and insight, and you know, I sometimes still get to go down there with everyone else too so…so…"
"…Sio, please, just tell me…" Adam seldom became overly emotional, even around her; the tone of longing that was present in his voice now sent a wave of yearning throughout her body, threatening to break that fragile mask she'd set upon her face for everyone else. "You don't have to entertain me with fluff; don't you trust me?"
She was a little taken aback at his words, moving back just slightly so she could look directly at his eyes. "…Of course I do, Adam. I trust you with my life. But if that's the case, then why don't you tell me first? You're the one who started off with fluff…even though you know I read all your reports at least twice…" she muttered, suddenly feeling a bit resentful. "If you want me to be honest with you…then why don't you start by being honest with me?"
It wasn't her intention to sound so snappish, but the second those words left her mouth she immediately regretted taking such a cold tone with him. Why the hell was this happening…shouldn't she be glad that they were seeing each other again after all this time? That, for all intents and purposes, their relationship was actually doing quite well, given all the circumstances. And yet there was this strange lump in her chest, of something that kept her from just acting all carefree and happy like any other teenage girl.
"…All right. Sorry, you're right; I'm being an arse again." He sighed heavily, before just leaning back against the couch, fingers absently rubbing her knuckles. "Physically speaking, I'm fine…but of course, it's not the same without you around. Not just out on the field, or…or hanging out with everyone else." Those fingers that had been gently stroking her hand stopped and intertwined with hers instead, as he laced their fingers together.
"…I miss you something awful at times. Lonely days, lonelier nights," those fingers gently slowly following the path between each digit as he rubbed her palm, "just lying there until sometimes I think I must be slowly going mad…"
"Oh, Adam…!" She didn't know what to say; what could she say, other than apologizing over and over again–which he hated, because the truth was there really wasn't anything either of them could do. "I…I miss you a lot too…especially at night; somehow, it's always worse at night, I don't know why…" Being held in his arms again after that separation, after being deprived of his love and warmth… Sio never thought she'd become so dependent on someone, and now she couldn't imagine living without him.
He gave her a pained look, no words necessary because he knew that she felt the same, as well. The worst was when Asao had died–Sio thought it hadn't been possible to cry so much, nor would she ever feel happiness again. Yet slowly but surely the pain did begin to recede, and sometimes she felt the only reason she was able to recover so quickly was because Adam had been there for her the entire time. No matter how late she returned or how many times she woke in tears and terror, he would unfailing hold her until sleep came again.
"…I'll ask the Commander, m-maybe I can spend more time here–I mean our communications technology is so good it shouldn't matter–"
"–No; it won't change anything." She stared back at him in surprise. "I'd rather you not going around and abusing your position just for the sake of personal feelings."
Though she knew Adam meant well, and was only looking out for her, somehow his response sparked that irritation again. "…Personal feelings? I–you were the one who said how awful it was, and I'm just trying to figure out a way to spend more time together–isn't that we we both want–"
"–I know! I know, all right?! " It wasn't the fist time they'd argued, but it was the first time he'd ever raised his voice at her in such a harsh manner; Sio instantly shrinking back, maroons wide with fear as Adam looked away in shame. "…Sorry. I'm really sorry, Sio–gods, I didn't mean to yell at you–I'm just so stressed about this whole–"
"–Well you know what, so am I. You think it's easy literally having the fate of an entire planet to deal with? To not see you or my friends, let alone my family–and still maintain a relationship? But you don't see me lashing out at you." The ice in her voice surprised even her, and for a second she wondered if it was Nobunagun who was creeping into her mind.
It certainly stunned Adam, who was sitting there looking as shocked as she'd ever seen him, Sio feeling an uncomfortable mix of righteous anger and guilt. She knew how hard it was for him…hell, the fact that Jess had mentioned his depressive mood was more than alarming for her, and yet couldn't they see how hard it was for her as well? Ever since she'd ascended her new role, she swore she'd never let the public see her tears or vulnerability; it wasn't that she didn't believe in them–on the contrary, as Oda Nobunaga had coached her, a leader had to understand and accept the fear of failure, of death, in order to be successful.
She just wasn't allowed to show them.
A true leader not only understands fear, but embraces it. After all, how can you proclaim to overcome something if you reject it? But remember carefully, Ogura-dono; a leader's role is to guide others, to act as their omnipotent savior. You are not so much a symbol as you are an ideal for the common peasant to strive for. And that, is why if you want your troops to be successful, you must not let them see your fears.
"…Sio, I'm–"
"–Forget it; if I'd known you'd be so sulky, I wouldn't have bothered coming." All the warmth and euphoria from their reunion earlier seemed to evaporate, replaced by a cold cruelty that wanted her to hurt. Wrenching herself free from his grasp, she didn't even give him a backwards glance as she headed for the door, Adam's pleas falling on deaf ears.
"…And if you didn't want to have such a stressful relationship, then maybe you shouldn't have fallen in love with me."
To leave him staring at her back, speechless and hurt as she stormed out of her room was not how Sio had planned this visit to go. But she was still human, still very much just a girl, and feelings were a fickle thing that no matter how good she'd gotten at controlling them in public, were something she could never hide from him in private. One tear, then two, and the next thing she knew she there were two streaks running down her face as she ran down the hall sobbing, unsure of where to go or what to do now. The last time she'd left him hurt and speechless was when her hair had just turned white; and even then that had been more of a cold shoulder, not the deliberate hate she was throwing at him.
"Sio-chan? Where's Adam–oh, Sio–!" She recognized the voice before she could place a person to it, but that generous bosom she was being pressed into was definitely familiar. "Sio! What's wrong love, did something happen?! I thought you two were spending some time together…"
"J-Jess…I-I, I…" There was nothing more left to say, nor did she have the strength left to explain it; one look at her friend's worried face and Sio broke down, sobbing and gasping for breath as the blonde patted her back in kind understanding, gently ushering them into her own quarters so they could have some privacy.
"Shh, there there Sio, it's not the end of the world; I'm sure you must think it is, but trust me when I say things will be all right." Taking off the girl's cap and mantle, she brought out two cups of tea for both of them, along with a box of tissues which Sio immediately took. "Just take a few deep breaths, and I'm sure whatever it is that's got you so wound up will be a little less painful."
"Th-thanks, Jess…I really appreciate it."
"Of course! Like I said earlier, we're always here for you, unconditionally." Smiling kindly, she patted the younger girl's arm. "Now, would you like to talk about it, or…?"
Sio nodded, maroons still swollen but at least the crying was reduced to just the occasional hiccup now. Sometimes she was so caught up in a world of just her and Adam, that it was easy to forget that there were many others who cared for her, as well.
"Y-Yeah…a-actually, I…I could really use your advice.."