Here we go, everybody! I know this fic is about 9 months late, but I haven't had a lot of times with things. Quite a bit happened to myself when I was in the Marines, so that's taken up a lot of time. But enough of that, here's the second fic in my "South Park Middle School" series! Please enjoy, and REVIEW!
South Park Middle School: Stupid School Games!
(The camera show the front of SP Middle School, which looks pretty much just like the elementary school. We cut to the 7th grade math class, taught by none other than Mr. Garrison! The boys all look pretty much like they did in the show, but they are taller. They are all 13 now.)
Mr. Garrison: And THAT'S why Brad Pitt couldn't do geometry after he broke up with Angelina Jolie. Anyway, children, before class ends I just wanted to announce the big 'rivalry games' with Middle Park Middle School.
Stan (whisper): Oh, brother.
Mr. Garrison: Now, children, I could care less about it but the attendance boosts a lot of money into this school and I want to get paid so I'm going to mention it anyway. I have this sheet right here that lists the students in this particular class that have to participate in the games. Let's see…Clyde, Stan, Craig, Kyle, Kenny, and…Kevin.
All those boys: Weak!
Cartman: Ay!! Why didn't the school pick me to participate?!
Mr. Garrison: Because you're a fat little punk who can't excel at any physical activity! Now shut up!
Cartman: Weak!
Mr. Garrison: Now for you boys who will participate, you were picked by the principal himself, and I've been informed to tell you that if you don't participate, you get an automatic F in one of your major classes. Which means, basically, that your screwed.
Kyle: He can't do that!
Mr. Garrison: Whether he can or not, he will, so I'd just suck it up and get my little ass prepared, if I were you.
The boys: Ugh!!
(The bell rings)
Mr. Garrison: Well, that's lunch! Good luck, boys!
(The boys leave and head for the cafeteria.)
Stan: Dude, this sucks so much balls!
Kyle: Yeah, but what can we do about it?
Kenny (unhooded now): Well, remember a few years back when we failed at baseball so we wouldn't have to play all summer? We can just do that again, I guess.
Stan: I suppose.
Cartman: Excuse me, dudes, but does ANYONE care that I can't be on our school's team?!
Kyle: Not really. Why would anyone WANT you on the team, fatass?
Cartman: Shut your mouth, Kyle! Shut your stupid Jew mouth!
Craig: Dammit, do you two really have to fight all the time?
Cartman: He started it! But anyway, when I get done with lunch I'm skipping out on the rest of the day. I wanna go home and sleep.
Stan: Your such an idiot, Cartman. I don't know how you get through school.
Cartman: You seriously under-estimate my intellect, Stan.
Kyle: Well, if you are going home, will you stop by my house and tell Ike I'll take him to Shakey's Pizza later? He's home sick.
Cartman: He's faking. And to answer your question: why would I do that for you?
Kyle (rolls eyes): Fine, here's a dollar.
(Gives it to Cartman)
Cartman: Oh covetous Jew, how cheap thou art.
Kyle: Will you do it or not, Cartman?!
Cartman: I guess so. But after I eat.
Stan: Of course you won't miss lunch, but you won't get an education. You seriously suck, Cartman.
Cartman: Whatever, dude. Go hug a tree.
(The boys all get their food and sit down at a table.)
Clyde: Where's Butters at? He never sits with us anymore.
Kyle: He's always with his girlfriend. He spends every waking second with her, it seems.
(They look across the cafeteria and see Butters sitting with his girlfriend, Kristall *who was introduced in the first part of the SP Middle School series. Go read that fic first!* They are sitting close and laughing and kissing while talking and eating.)
Kyle: I still can't understand how HE got the hottest girl in school.
Jimmy (who's sitting at the table too): Because he's got a good per….he's got a good per…puh..peeer….he's got a good per..per…personality.
Craig (roll eyes): Ugh. *see the first fic to see why Craig don't get along with Butters!*
Kenny: I gotta go take a piss guys. Be right back.
Kyle: Cool.
(Kenny heads for the restroom that is situated in the cafeteria. All the girls (minus Kristall) sit at a table very close to the boys restroom).
Kenny: Hello, ladies. How we doin?
Wendy: Hey Kenny! You guys ready for those games against Middle Park?
Kenny: Does a penguin crap in the woods?
(They are all silent and look at each other for a few seconds)
Kenny: Uhh..that means no.
Bebe (laughs): Well, you guys better be.
Kenny: Yeah. Well, anyway, I gotta go before I go in my pants.
(He goes to the restroom. When he's done, he is coming out but stops at the wall of the restroom, where the girls can't him)
Wendy: I'm psyched about those games!
Bebe: Me too!
(All the girls voice their approval too)
Wendy: And I tell you right now, if those boys loose these games, they probably won't girlfriends to come back to.
Bebe: I heard that, girl.
(Kenny's eyes are wide)
Kenny (thinking): Oh crap! The girls are banking on us to win! Stan and Kyle are gonna loose their girls if we don't! How am I gonna tell them?!
(Kenny straightens himself out and walks out of the restroom)
Bebe: Oh, going back to the guys, huh Kenny?
Kenny: Huh? Oh, yeah, the guys! Yeah, uh, yeah! They sure are a bunch of WINNERS, all right! You know?
(The girls look confused)
Bebe: Ummm….ok.
Kenny: Well, see you ladies later then!
(He rushes away from the girls table)
Bebe: That was weird. But then again, it's Kenny.
Wendy: Yeah, well, as I was saying, those Middle Park guys better win or their girls probably won't ever wanna be seen with them again.
(The girls all giggle and keep talking. We cut back to the boys table)
Stan: There you are. What took so long?
Kenny: Uhh, guys, we better get serious about these games.
Kyle: What? Why?
Kenny: I overheard the girls talking and well….Stan and Kyle, dudes, you could loose Wendy and Bebe over these games if we loose!
(Stan and Kyle have wide eyes and look worried)
Stan: WHAT?! Are you serious?!
Kenny: That's what I heard!
Kyle: But they are just some dumb games!
Kenny: That the girls really want us to win! Don't ask me why!
Stan: Dude, this can't be happening!
Cartman (laughs): Serves you two assholes right!
Stan/Kyle: Shut up Cartman!!
Cartman: Haha! Well, this day took an unexpected good turn! Oh man! But I'm still gonna head out. I guess I'll still stop by and see Ike. It's the least I can do for you Kyle! Haha!
(Cartman gets up and walks away with his empty tray)
Kyle: Man, we HAVE to win these games!
Craig: Wow, wow, wait a sec, Clyde and I don't care about if you guys loose your girls. And we don't wanna play these stupid games.
Clyde: Yeah.
(Kevin's head comes into the frame)
Kevin: Yeah, me either.
(They look at him, and his head slowly goes out of the frame)
Kyle: Oh really? If you guys loose, do you think you'll EVER be able to get a girl here?
Kenny: Yeah dudes, it's not just Wendy and Bebe. All the girls are pumped up for this.
(Craig and Clyde now look worried and glance at each other)
Clyde: Uuhhh…maybe we should get ready for this dude.
Stan: Alright, it's settled. Today after school we have practice for the games with one of the coaches here. Let's go out there and kick some major ass.
The other guys: YEAH!!!
(Cut to Cartman. He's walking down the street singing to himself)
Cartman (singing softly): I'll cry…for youuuuuuuu..if you don't say it's truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue
(He stops in front of Kyle's house)
Cartman: Get this outta the way real quick.
(He knocks on the door. Ike opens it up. He's as tall as the boys were when they were in third grade. He looks like he did in the show just taller of course. His voice is older too)
Ike: Huh? Oh, hey Eric.
Cartman: Your lame brother told me to relay to you that he's gonna take you to Shakey's Pizza later after school and practice for those stupid games which I wasn't invited to play. He also only paid me one dollar because he's a greedy butthole.
Ike: Ahh, ok..thanks, I guess.
Cartman: So I hear your sick?
Ike: Yeah, a little bit. But actually, I feel a little blue. There's a girl I like at school. Valarie Kilmer.
Cartman: So? Talk to her.
Ike: I can't! That's just the thing! I mean…I've never had luck with the girls.
Cartman: Well, for one, your young anyway, and for two, what about when you were with your teacher in kindergarten?!
Ike: Ahh, yeah, forgot about that….but I don't know how to approach this girl.
(Ike thinks for just a second and then smiles)
Ike: Hey Eric, do you think you could show me the ropes? You know, with girls?
Cartman: What?! Are you serious?
Ike: Well, I mean, we have always been cool around each other, I've always supported all the stupid stuff you've done! Like when we were pirates in Somalia!
Cartman: Well, THAT would have gone good if it hadn't been for Kyle! And the Navy SEALS…
(Cartman thinks for a second and sighs)
Cartman: But why SHOULD I help you? How can you repay me?
Ike: I don't know man! I mean, my parents don't want me to have a girlfriend at this age..and neither does Kyle.
(Cartman smiles)
Cartman: So…your saying if you get a girlfriend Kyle and your parents will be super pissed off?
Ike: Uh, probably.
(Cartman puts his hand on Ike's shoulder)
Cartman: Ike, I shall help you.
Ike: Wow, thanks!
Cartman: No need to. Pissing of Kyle is all the thanks I need. I gotta go now. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon and we'll get started!
Ike: Awesome!
(Cartman walks off laughing to himself)
Cartman: This is gonna be sweet.
END of chapter 1! So how will the boys prepare for the games? Don't they know the girls aren't even talking about them? And will Cartman help Ike get a girl? Stay tuned! Oh, and REVIEW!