Title: Remembrance
Rating:T
Genre: Angst
Author Notes: Ok so i haven't written anything on here for a LONG time lol and today i just felt like writing something and this is what came out of it :P I have had this idea in my mind for a while and just had to let it out. So i hope you all like it! :D
Summary: "Years, and she hadn't heard the slightest word from the once mysterious hunter to have passed through her life so long ago..." now as a certain hunter reappears, both have to come to a decision, what's more important, their love or their destinies?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Supernatural or Buffy characters or worlds.
Remembrance
Years, and she hadn't heard the slightest word from the once mysterious hunter to have passed through her life so long ago, having left both material and emotional turmoil in his parting.
So shock was an understatement when that distant, yet unforgettable soul crashed back into her lif- "You Son-of-a-bitch! I'm gunna shove this salt so far up your – "
Her heart skipped a beat as his voice resounded in her ears, her mind reeling with hope, could it be him? She was sure her eyes were deceiving her as they took in his well built frame, the familiar scent of his leather jacket teasing her senses into remembrance of past times…good times. Then she was sadly snapped back to reality, to her life, to her job.
"Ok, so how about less words and more killing?" She snarked, hands on hips, trying to keep her years perfected façade from showing her inner battle of restraint.
He froze. Losing his concentration, he was knocked to the ground by the freaky-ass slime dude he was currently hunting in a town he had sworn he would never return to.
Sunnydale, California.
All he remembered before the darkness was a blur of blonde shaking the slime off her hands.
"Dean, dean? Dean!" *slap*
"Damn woman, I know you liked it frisky but…damn!" She just looked at him indignantly as he soothed his now aching jaw.
"What are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too sweet-cheeks." The hint of a smirk evident on his face. Some things never change she thought unable to stop her own lips from turning at the corners.
"Hunting. Why else?" Dean answered as though it were obvious.
"Argh, I see you haven't changed one bit Dean." She rose and walked away a few paces, unable to make herself leave altogether, despite her better reasoning, the part of her that still kept her awake each night yearning for his touch just one more time rendered her feet glued to the spot.
"Ditto blondey."
"Why did you come back?" Her voice was smaller as she spoke this time around; her back turned away from him, yet the goose bumps all over her body told her he was still there.
Dean shifted to his feet, shoving his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, pulling it tighter to shield himself from the chill in the air, despite the warmth his heart was sending through his body as it pumped wildly in his chest as he took in her now mature frame, the curves of her body – focus!
At his silence she turned to face him, immediately regretting her choice as she found he had moved to stand right behind her, their bodies now crushed against one another, their faces mere inches apart.
A small gasp escaped her with the shock, the sound sending shivers down Dean's spine.
"Buffy…I – " He couldn't believe himself, all this time he has wanted the chance to see her again, to explain why he had to leave, that she had been the brightest point of his life before all the supernatural kicked it up a notch. But his well-rehearsed speech disappeared as he looked into her eyes, seeing the hurt that lived in them, hurt he had put there.
So, coughing uncomfortably, he stepped back a few paces, creating some space between them. Instantly feeling hollow at the loss of her presence.
"It was Sammy, you know how he gets when he finds a job…" He watched as her shoulders slumped at his words.
"Oh, right, of course yer…a job, got it." Buffy fought against the hurt as it tried to punch a way through her chest.
"So, how you been?" lame! Dean berated himself mentally.
"Died for a while, went to heaven. You?" Buffy quipped, wanting more than anything to close the distance he had put back between them, wanting more than she could have.
The story of her life it would seem.
"Been to hell, rescued by an Angel."
"Huh." Was all Buffy could think to say.
"So heaven? Guess you were the lucky one." Dean couldn't help the small chuckle to leave his lips as his nerves got the better of him, his usual banter coming up an all time blank as he tried to think of something meaningful to say, anything to make her understand that she didn't mean nothing, that he didn't just come back for the job.
"My friends pulled me out, I'm back to this," Buffy motioned with her arms to the graveyard they were currently standing in. "Don't feel all that lucky over here." This was ridiculous, how long had she waited for this chance? To have him, the Dean Winchester standing in front of her again, to have him all to herself?
"It never get's any easier you know, living like this, but it's what we do and why we do it is what matters. But the sacrifices we make, those are what make it unbearable, Buffy…" Hearing that tone in his voice, her face lifted as her eyes searched his.
"Dean please if you're just going to tell me how much you regret leaving, I don't want to hear it. It won't change the facts, it won't stop me from ever having loved you and I don't think I can do that all over again, I can't survive you leaving, not again." Buffy started to walk away, it was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, but to go through all that heartbreak again was be even harder.
"No, don't leave, Buffy please listen to me." Dean startled out of his place as he saw her move to leave, every fiber of his being yelled at him to stop her, he couldn't let her out of his life this time, he couldn't, he wouldn't.
He grabbed a hold of her arm and twisted her round to face him, their bodies once again pushed up against one another. "Why should I? You're just going to leave me; you don't have a choice Dean. It's how you live and I realize that, we both lead such complicated lives, destiny-fulfilling crap constantly being shoved down out throats, how can either of us compete against that?" The tears she repressed earlier welled in her eyes, a single lone tear streaked her flushed cheek.
Dean was speechless, she was right and he knew it. How was any of this fair? After all they had both gone through, life, death, destiny, how can they not be given this one ounce of happiness?
"Screw destiny! I'm sick of it, all of it. Sammy's older now; he's stronger, capable of hunting on his own. Buffy we could leave, disappear, leave all of this crap behind us." Dean could hear the begging in his voice, but he didn't care, for the first time in years this was the first thing he had ever been so sure of.
For a moment Buffy let herself be consumed by the dream, immediately thinking over all the possibilities ahead of them, together.
But in her world happiness never lasts long and now was no different.
"We both know that's not possible Dean. I'm the slayer, this is my life and I can't just leave that behind, I can't abandon the people I care about, my family…" her throat constricted around the word, how could she have even considered running away with Dean with her family relying on her? What about Dawn, she already lost her sister once, she couldn't do that to her again.
"I know." Dean all but whispered, dropping his forehead to rest on Buffy's.
Their breathing quickened, Buffy's tears became one with Dean's as he let go of his self-control. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this Dean, we both have responsibilities, I have a sister and a family that need me right now, and you have Sam…"
In a moment of panic Dean said the only thing he could think of that could change her mind. "I love you Buffy." Dean had tried telling himself over and over since he left that it wasn't true, how could it be? They had only been together for mere months, he had been with plenty of women before and since, yet this one, she had found something inside of him that he never knew he had, the chance to love, to have a life outside of hunting…at least that is what he had hoped.
What a fool he had been.
His words caught her off guard, she knew they had something special all those years ago, but never had she heard him say he loved her and before she could think she responded without a moments doubt. "I love you too."
Dean smiled and laughed, Buffy unable to stop herself from joining in. Their bodies shaking with laughter, their tears suddenly ones of happiness, but it didn't change what was going to happen next, no matter how much they both wished otherwise.
Dean placed a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear, his finger lingering on her perfect cheekbone, dismissing his sudden realization of how thin she had become.
Their laughter subsided and they were left staring into one another's eyes, Buffy's hands lightly pressed against his chest. Dean started to lean towards her, parting her lips in anticipation, Buffy slowly rose onto her toes, her face growing closer to Dean's with each passing second, Dean's hands circling her waist protectively.
Just as their lips were about to touch the blaring sound of ACDC interrupted them. Their face's stopped and Dean muttered something that sounded like "bitch", but was determined to ignore the offending cell screaming in his jacket pocket.
"You should get that." Buffy voiced her minds words, trying to hear them over the shouting her heart was making in protest.
Grumbling with agitation Dean pulled out the phone roughly and pushed it to his ear. "What?!"
A few profanities and insults later, Dean hung up, referring his attention back to the petite blonde in front of him, who in that moment suddenly looked like the pre-battle worn young woman he had met the first time around, looking just as dependent on his next words as she had the day he told her he was leaving.
"That was Sam, when I didn't call, he - . We've got to leave pretty soon, the sheriff is becoming suspicious." The disappointment was clear in his voice, along with a hint of anger.
"I understand."
"Buffy…"
"No really, it's ok, you have to go. Look Dean, you were always special to me and now, knowing what you have been through you are even more amazing than I first thought and there's no way I can keep you all to myself, the world needs you, and Sam. We have to sacrifice the things we want because of who we are, I learnt that pretty early on, it's the price we pay for being special." Buffy took a purposeful step backwards; knowing that being near him will only make this harder.
"You're right. Man it sucks being special!" Dean frustrated, shoving his hands pointedly back into his pockets.
"Tell me about it."
"Well then, I guess I better get going, don't want Sam wussing out on me because he thinks I aint going back for him."
"Yer, you should get back to him, say hi for me." They both stood rigid as statues, neither wanting to leave first, their eyes locked for the last time, knowing this time truly was goodbye.
"Will do, say hi to Giles and everyone too, tell him Bobby might have some info of some use to him."
"Great, I'll tell him. So…" Buffy's feet instinctively took a step forwards, towards Dean, as he mimicked her step with one of his own.
"So…I guess this is…"
"Goodbye."
Buffy's word was a whisper against Dean's lips just before they crashed upon her own in a wild burst of passion. Both finding the sense of fulfillment within each other's arms, that hollow feeling both had carried along with them for so long felt complete for the first time since they parted years ago.
As their lips moved with one another, their bodies a single entity, they felt all of their responsibilities wash away and be replaced with love.
Knowing this was to be their final kiss, their bitter sweet goodbye, despite their wishes, this was going to be the last time they ever saw each other, they ended their embrace and simply looked into the others eyes and then left.
The Slayer using all her strength from past generations to make her legs move in the opposite direction of the man who in her mind has been her destiny all along.
The Hunter channeling all his remaining energy into believing that their paths would cross again…but somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he knew that wasn't true.
Both warriors in a battle bigger than themselves, both having sacrificed their own happiness in the past and the present, both simply thankful that their destinies had coincided, even if it was only for a brief encounter.
But as Dean tried to prepare himself for a life without hope, that their destinies were too great to ever exist together, it suddenly dawned on him.
Since when had he ever given a crap about destiny?
Hope you all liked it :D
Felt nice to finally start writing something again, i may be a little rusty so please forgive me if this isn't brilliant lol
Please leave me a review, they always make me feel better ^^
Cee xx
