You're stupid; so, so fucking stupid, you naïve little girl. You actually believed him? Didn't you learn? Remember Sam, who promised the perfect wedding and the perfect family in a perfect home, maybe with a couple pets? What makes Jake any different? He's a boy, like Sam, maybe younger, maybe a bit easier on the eyes, but he's still a boy and they're good for nothing but breaking hearts. Jake said it would work, maybe. And maybe you just wanted it to. Maybe you wanted someone to love you, because no one wants Leah Clearwater anymore—no one.
"It could work, Lee, for a while… at least."
Jake. Jacob Black. Tall, brooding, just like all the others—just like Sam. They had the same dark eyes, same dark hair. Jake's hair was always longer. Maybe his eyes a little lighter, but there was really no difference. They all looked like a bunch of twins, identical to the lashes on their eyelids. But Jake's are different… thicker, maybe, or darker. You weren't sure as you tried to take in every aspect of his body, memorize it, with tired eyes before it was too late.
"No, Leah. No! Listen to me—and listen good. This won't last forever. I'm not your prince."
Prince, princely, chivalrous; all the things Sam wasn't and Jake was, kind of. You never liked fairytales, but you always wanted that feeling—the feeling that the fair lady felt when she got her happily ever after with that goddamn Prince Charming. You always thought that Sam would be that boy, the one who'd already swept you off your feet and had you halfway to the carriage to take you to the wedding, to the ball. But then Emily stepped in and ruined everything. That bitch of a cousin, who just had to steal Sam. It was going to work—it was. But then you had Jake and she had Sam and maybe you could be a little more pleasant to her. After all, Jake made you happy. He gave you those butterflies that Sam used to, maybe the ones that Sam was busy giving Emily, now. But Jake wasn't so princely, after all. He had Nessie, now, and you had no one.
"Lee-lee, are you okay?"
Seth; he was such a sweet kid, always caring about everyone whether they wanted him to or not. He was too nice for his own good but you let him be, because what harm could it do? It wasn't like much could happen to the kid, with that goddamned optimism. He was like Mom, Sue, in the way that he flocked towards people in pain, trying to help. He was so much like a mother, you thought, trying to make sure everyone was okay. Everyone except you, that is. Sometimes, you thought that he didn't try to help you because he didn't know how. You were the strong one—you were the one who didn't cry when Dad died and you held him when he sobbed late at night. You held him when he cried over Dad, over Sue falling for Charlie, over Jake being horrible to him, over loving Edward too much, and over those stupid boys calling him a faggot. "I'm only bi, Leah, only bi…" he'd cry, grabbing your shirt. You'd rub his back and smooth his hair, feeling like taking Mom's place, because you know she'd hold him and do the same when he was little.
"You would understand if you were a mother, Leah."
Isabella Swan, daughter to your future daddy. She had everything and threw it away for some boy. Some dead vampire boy, at that. Kind of like you, Leah, dropping it all for a boy. For Sam, for Jake. You never liked her much; thought she was a little high and mighty, maybe a little dramatic. But what really, really bugged you was that she had Jake—perfect, perfect Jake—and she still chose Edward over him. And, in turn, broke your brother's heart, not to mention Jake's. Maybe you were just a rebound for Jake. He needed a girl to make him forget about Bella, and you were there, single, alone, maybe pretty. But then Bella went and got knocked up by her vampire boyfriend—husband, sorry. The baby was cute, you'd admit that, but you never thought she was cute enough to make Jake imprint.
"Maybe it'd be better if I just went away for a while."
You never told Jake that you were pregnant. You were going to, after everything settled down, but then he imprinted. You were two months pregnant and crying and crying and crying when you found out Jake imprinted. Of course, he never promised forever—he wasn't like Sam, not in that aspect. Jake was temporary, and you knew that. You still wished he was forever, like the way you thought that Sam leaving you for Emily was just a horrible, horrible nightmare you'd someday wake up from. You didn't know what to do about the baby. You couldn't raise it alone (you're already raising Seth.) You couldn't ask Jake to help, much less tell him (he already has Nessie, remember? Silly girl.) Mom was a definite no (you didn't want to burden her with another child, what with her having Charlie now.) So you were all alone in the world with a baby due in seven months.
"You're always welcome here, Leah."
Edward Cullen was a mysterious creature, you concluded one day. He was a vampire, yet surprisingly human, and completely and utterly in love with someone who, at any point, he could kill. Until, y'know, Nessie was born and Bella became a vampire. But Rosalie Hale, his… sister, so to say, was even more mysterious. She was cold, inside and out, and hated the pack—you included. She especially hated Jacob and increasingly so after he imprinted. She was on good terms with some of the wolves, but really only Seth because she enjoyed his childish company. But she could tell that you were pregnant the moment you walked in to speak to Bella about your parents' wedding, only a year away. Rosalie whisked you away before you could, demanded that you told her everything, and offered you a place to stay in their home. It was hard to decline, but harder to accept. Your pride screamed no, but your head and mouth said yes. Rosalie smiled, and you felt a little better.
A/N: This is in Leah's POV, actually. She's talking to herself, or at least her past self.
I really, really love the Clearwaters. They're easily two of the most angsty characters in the book, especially Leah, and that is where this comes from.
Dislcaimer - I do not own any rights to Twilight, nor to any of the characters in this creation. I simply own the words I wrote.