Hello, friends! I am back with another story I have taken from my previously written stories and REWRITTEN! I know no one on here probably remembers, but about three-four years ago I wrote a lot of fanfics when I was about thirteen. They're were really poorly written. I took a really long break from writing, so now there is this huge gap in my recent stories and my old ones, so I decided I would rewrite ALL my old stories. This one used to be named Try to Love Again, but it was really rushed. It had a lot of reviews and a lot of people liked it, but I wasn't happy with it anymore. So, for the past three days I've been working on this, and let me tell you, it has changed COMPLETELY. It still has the same basic plot, but it's pretty much a new story.
Morning Song
"Hurt so bad, more than I expected that it would. Worse than that, it seems to be lasting just a little longer than it should."
-Morning Song/The Avett Brothers
There's something serene about sitting at your dining room table, a lone, surrounded by the peace and quiet, watching the sun set behind the rolling hills. Day like this, when everything is so picture perfect, I wish would last forever. Soak up the soft, orange-pink glow of the setting sun and just relax for once in my life- that would be ideal. Though, things are never as perfect as they seem, and often I am left with a bitter taste in my mouth at the end of the night. Finn, my little buddy, flew around my head annoyingly.
"Molly, you don't have to stay in here all night. It's Friday!" He whined a bit, finally coming to a rest on a book I was planning on reading. I rolled my eyes at him and swatted him off of it, ignoring his statements. "Molly, please..." the little sprite waddled across the table and sat his tiny hand on top of mine,
"Finn," I sighed and he nodded in response. He understood. Tonight wasn't a good night. Tonight wasn't a night to try and make any more friends. Since coming to this island, everything has been nonstop work, work, and more work. There was the work I had to do around the farm, also known as the work I signed up for. Then, there is the other work, such as the work of ringing the bells- otherwise known as voluntary work, but still a chore all the same. Most of the bells have already been rung, and there's only one left now. The purple bell, which brings me to the last form of work I have to complete.
Making friends. It's become something that I dread, now. Waking up and knowing I have to be nice to everyone, when all I want is to be alone. Alone, bitter, and peaceful. However, the only way to ring the bell is to collect the secret wishes of everyone in town! In order to do that, you have to be friends with them. I do not want to make anymore friends. Do you know what making friends entails? Heartbreak. Pain. Drama. Oh my gosh- so much drama.
Don't get me wrong, though, because when I first started out doing this, I was so hopeful and happy. Nothing compared to whatever I am now. I thought that I could change the island, make great friends, and maybe even find love…all that good stuff. It was all a change, for me, and a better one at that. Well, at the time I thought it was a better change from my past, but that's a whole different story. Anyways, back then, things were different.
As I laid my head down on the kitchen table, slouched in my chair, and legs stretched out, I began to play with a little glass tumbler. There wasn't anything filled in it, not yet, anyways. Finn shot me a warning look,
"Molly, you don't have to do this." He flew up from his spot and landed right in front of my face. He was practically touching my nose; he got so close to me, looking me straight in the eyes. I exhaled a breath through my nose, causing him to stumble backwards, but he caught his balance, "I hate seeing you like this." Finn shook his head at me, disappointed most likely.
"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean," I murmured, eyes glazing over as I stared past him and out the window. All of these feelings…there's so many. I don't want to deal with this anymore.
"The first step in getting help is admitting you have a problem." Finn wagged his finger in front of my face, his hand on his hip, and but sticking out slightly. I smirked at him as I lifted my back up head up,
"Problem? What are you referring to?" I chuckled, getting up from the chair, and dragging the still unopened book off the table. Face read and cheeks puffed out, Finn flew back up in the air and followed me as I sauntered over to the kitchen.
"You know what I mean!" He snapped, and I grabbed for a slender blue bottle from one of the cabinets and some cranberry juice from the fridge. Both bottles in two different hands, I made my way back over to the dining room table. "Molly Grace Wyatt you put that bottle down now." Finn hissed in my ear,
"Okay, mother." I mocked, setting the cranberry juice down on the table. Smirking, I placed the cork top of the blue bottle between my teeth, causing a hollow popping noise to ring out when I removed it. Finn sighed heavily as I poured and mixed both liquids into the small glass I had been messing with earlier. Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, and picked up a little white letter that had been sitting next to my glass.
"That's too much…" He fretted, trying to take the bottle from my hand. I let him take it, but not before I let another splash to fall into the glass. "I hate seeing you like this."
"Two." I muttered under my breath, stirring my drink with a butter knife I had used earlier.
"What was that?"
"That's the second time you've said that tonight. Usually you say it about four or five times a night. I decided I would count to be sure." I stuck the knife in my mouth, sucking off the liquid to be sure not to get the table wet after I set it down. No drinks in this house will ever go to waste. Not even one little drop. Finn turned red in the face again, and threw his little arms up in the air, clearly exasperated with my behavior,
"It's the truth! I'm worried about you! You're friends are worried about you!" He turned his back to me and began to pace around the table. I laughed a single laugh, meanly and forced,
"Friends?" I scoffed at him, "What friends? You couldn't possibly mean Luna and Gill my best friend and ex boyfriend, could you?" I emphasized heavily, drawing out the sentence. My stomach began to turn violently, and grabbed my drink a little too forcefully, sloshing the liquid out. I cursed under my breath and got up to get a paper towel. Finn followed me once again,
"Of course I mean them! Don't forget Luke, Candace, and Kathy, either! I've seen them, and they're all worried about you." I shook my head in anger,
"Un-freaking-believable. Luna and Gill? Seriously? Worried- and it's about me?" I laughed again, this time even harsher and angrier than before. "What a laugh- how amusing!" Waving my hands and the paper towel through the air, I made my way back to the table once again.
"They're your friends." Finn tried to calm me down, taking his usual spot on my shoulder. "They sent you that invitation." I read over the lines of the card again, just as I had twenty minutes ago before this whole night started. You are cordially invited to the wedding of Luna and Gill, next Sunday at five. We got the letter last Monday, so the wedding is this Sunday.
"Friends don't do what they did." I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to rid myself of the upcoming headache I was surly about to have. It's almost been a year, now, and the pain and hurt they caused me still hasn't subsided. Everything still feels like it happened just yesterday…Sighing, I finally took a sip of the drink I had just mixed. The sweet yet bitter taste burned the back of my throat, but it felt good. I tipped my head back, and downed the rest.
The day started out normal, like most days. I went about my business on my farm caring for my animals and tending to my crops in the morning, and by the afternoon I was continuing my quest to ring the five bells of Castanet Island. I had just finished the fourth bells request, which meant the fifth and final bell should be making its appearance soon. Hopefully, I would finish by the end of the year, but to reach that goal, I would really have to pick things back up. It was the beginning of winter, now, and it was so, so, so cold out.
The snow crunched under my work boots as I made my way into town. The day before, my boyfriend, Gill, had asked me on a lunch date. Obviously, I made time for him in my schedule. I always did, even if I was supposed to be busy. He was important to me. The journey was about an hour long, but the scenery was lovely, so I never minded walking to town to meet him. It was fun, even, because I got to be out in the wonderful, crisp fresh air and take in the beautiful environment of Castanet. Even though it was only my second year on the island, everything still felt so new to me. It was amazing and wonderful and exciting all at the same time.
"Molly, don't you remember what today is?" Finn poked me in the cheek, interrupting my thoughts. I paused slightly, but continued walking.
"Oh, let's see…It's the second day of winter…and it's also…Oh-Oooohh my gosh!" I gasped, clasping my mitten covered hands over my mouth. Finn chuckled, "It's Gill and I's one year…" Grinning goofily I began to speed up. We were meeting up at the Brass Bar, and I could hardly wait to see him now! I already had plans of attacking him with love and affection- not even caring if other people saw! I know he doesn't like public displays of affection, but today was a very special day.
I finally made it into town, and I quickly walked up the short flight of stairs to the bar. Finn whispered some words of encouragement in my ear, knowing full well what I was planning on doing. He didn't think Gill would mind too much, but he still worried about me sometimes. Gill was a Grumpy- Gus a lot of the times, and not to mention extremely formal and stuffy. Finn often thought he needed to lighten up, but I thought it made him all that more appealing. It was cute. Especially when he'd get flustered when I told him I loved him or kissed him or hugged him. I smiled at the thought, and flung open the door.
"You're going to tell her, right?" Luna asked Gill, leaning in really close to his face, "You have to tell her. Today." She looked angry- angrier than normal. Gill sighed heavily and nodded his head. They still hadn't noticed I was in the door way, which was good. I was going to sneak up and hug him from behind as a surprise. I barely contained a giggle as I began to sneak up, shoulders hunched over and walking on my tip-toes, "Good, I'll see you tonight, right?" another nod from Gill, and I paused slightly in my tracks, "Love you." She smiled sweetly at him and kissed him…on the lips…
My heart dropped into my stomach as I stood up straight again. Luna turned around to leave and stopped, looking me straight in the eyes, eyes wide open. Gill looked up at her and then turned his head to see me. His face turned bright red, and stood up quickly, smoothing out his white suite.
"M-Molly...you're early…" He stuttered and then glanced between Luna and I. Tears welled up in my eyes and I backed up quickly. My head began to swim in that awful kind of way, and a million questions began to fill my head all at once. I could no longer focus, it was like everyone was yelling inside my brain and there was complete and total chaos, even though on the outside I probably looked calm. My breathing became short as my lungs started to close up and my body began to shake slightly- knees weakening. Nothing I've ever felt could compare to this feeling. Kathy emerged from the back, cleaning a glass, and a smile on her face,
"Hey Mo…lly…oh, is something wrong?" She asked, feeling the heavy atmosphere close in around the room, I took a shaky breath,
"Uhm, n-no. I was just leaving." I forced myself to smile at her, hoping she was too far away to see the tears in my eyes. Gill and Luna still said nothing, as though they were the ones who were taken by surprise. I turned on my heels to leave, but ran right into someone's chest. I looked up to see an energetic looking face, wearing a bright blue, flame bandanna.
"Hey, hey! Well if it isn't the couple of the hour! Happy one year guys!" Luke laughed, and Candace filed in quietly behind. I backed up again, panicking even more than before. My eyes shifted from left to right searching desperately for an escape route, but finding nothing,
"I-is this some sick j-joke?" I demanded as a lump began to form in my throat. Luke gave me a confused look and Candace peered around him, making eye contact with her sister,
"Molly, let's calm down now…" Candace walked over to me, placing both hands on my shoulders soothingly, "It's going to be okay." I slapped her arms off of me, angry and confused
"Did you know? How long?" I barked at her, and she shrank back a bit in fear. I knew it was unfair of me to be so angry with her, but I didn't care at this point. When she didn't answer I became even more distraught and upset, "You two were my best friends." I spat and turned to face Gill again, feeling weak in the knees, but I didn't have anything else to say. I had seen everything. I had understood everything. He wouldn't even look me in the eyes.
The next morning I awoke abruptly to a loud banging on my door. My head was pounding with an awful headache and my mouth was extremely dry, but I rolled over in bed to check the time and make sure I hadn't accidentally overslept. However, it was only five in the morning. Who in their right mind is at my door now? I felt like the walking dead- and I probably looked like it too, but I somehow managed to get myself out of bed and throw on my robe over my scantily clad pajamas. Slipping on my pig-shaped house slippers, I glanced at the wedding invitation on my table on my way to the door. That was what brought about last night, anyways, with the drinking and that entire day replaying in my dream. How perfect. How wonderful. A wedding, don't you want to go, Molly? Don't you just love weddings? My sarcastic thoughts wouldn't shut up, but I still wanted to know who was at the door. I flung it open wildly, causing my already messy hair to fly about my face.
I didn't really know who I was expecting to be at my door at this time, but I know Luke was the last person who would have crossed my mind. There he was, blue bandanna and all, standing shyly in my doorway at five in the freaking morning.
"Have you lost your damn mind?" I hissed at him, and he just smiled sheepishly back at me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Finn sleepily sit up in the tiny bed I made for him.
"Molly, who's here?" He asked, but I ignored him. Luke, like the rest of the villagers, couldn't see Finn. If I were to talk to him in front of them, they would think I was crazy!
"Oh, uh, hey…" Luke greeted me, avoiding eye contact; I slapped my hand to my face and invited him inside. Harvest God; please grant me the strength to not bash his freaking face into the concrete. I swear, I'll never drink again, just give me the patience to deal with this.
"I'm sorry the house is a mess, but I don't really get visitors so there's usually no reason for me to ever clean." I sighed and led him to the dining room table to sit down, "Did you need something?"
"Well, to be honest, I came to see how you were doing with the situation." He sighed as he sat down in one of the little wooden chairs. Situation? What situation? I followed suite and sat in my own chair across the table,
"I don't understand what you mean." I rubbed my temples. Dealing with Luke has never been easy, and getting him to explain things is basically like pulling teeth. He really looked well, though. The past year has been good to him, and he has even got some scruff growing on the side of his face. Not a lot, though, just some stubble. He's beginning to look a lot like his father, Dale- only fitter, younger, and handsomer. Luke ran a hand over the top of his bandanna,
"With the wedding of course." He stated matter-of-factly. It's strange, he's changed so much since the last time we'd actually spoken. I can't quite put my finger on one specific thing that's changed about him, though. Oh, that situation. I nodded my head,
"Ah, yes, yes of course. The wedding. I'm not going." Luke frowned at me, his topaz colored eyes flashing in the early morning sun peeking through the window,
"Why not?" He demanded, almost angrily, but not quite. I smoothed out my ratty hair with my hands,
"Why should I?"
"They're your friends." Luke sighed and leaned across the table, "Shouldn't you be happy for them? Anyways, it's been well over a year, and you know the saying, forgive and forget." Since the last time I had spoken with him, it seems as if Luke has grown up. A lot. I seriously do not need this kind of stress today. My head pounded even harder than when I first woke up, reminding me of the poor decisions I made last night.
"You know what, no. I've changed my mind. I don't want to deal with this right now- I feel like absolute crap and you're lecturing me on the values of friendship? Please leave." I stood up abruptly, almost knocking my chair over. Luke widened his eyes in shock,
"Molly, please, I'm only trying to help. I just wanted to talk to you." He tried to reason with me, but I shook my head in a fit of anger.
"Why didn't you come and talk to me a year ago when I actually wanted and needed someone to talk to? You don't get to just come in here, today of all days, and claim to want to check up on me!" Luke stood up now, and tried to walk over to me. He reached to grab my arm, but I pulled back roughly. "Please, just leave." My voice waivered, but I remained strong. I didn't want to talk to Luke. I didn't want to talk to anyone ever. Not after what happened. Letting myself talk to them would be me opening up again, and I would just get hurt. If that were to ever happen again, if I were to ever feel betrayal again from someone I thought was my friend, I don't think I'd be able to handle it. Hell, I could hardly handle it the first time it happened. Look at me now- Do I look like a healthy person? Do I look happy? That's what I thought. Luke shifted his gaze to the ground,
"I did come to visit you, but you wouldn't talk to me then either." He sighed and walked over to the door, "Well, if you decide to come, you are welcome to sit with me." And just like that, he left the house. He didn't come to visit- He's lying! No one came…I was on my own. Feeling the heat rise in my face, I sank to my knees on my dining room floor, wrapping my arms around myself tightly, and rocked slightly. Why did he have to come today? Why stir up old feelings and upset everyone? I clenched my fist tightly and slammed it on the floor, this wasn't fair. Nothing is ever fair. My chest tightened and I felt myself begin to gasp for air, as if I couldn't get enough. Panic. Why? Why? Why? Why?
Stupid. I'm stupid. No they're stupid. You didn't do anything wrong. I can't do anything right. All my fault. He didn't come to visit you. Not your fault.I can't breathe. Why can't I breathe? Calm down. Just calm down. I wasn't enough. I'll never be enough. I'll never be good enough. Worthless. Dirty. Farmer. Not pretty. It wasn't your fault. Gill cheated, but it wasn't your fault. I hate this. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up! STOP!
The war in my mind began to rage and my head began to spin, no, the room was spinning. I couldn't focus my eyes, so I just squeezed them shut and waited for the voices to fade out. My body, shaking violently, began to tingle. It started around my mouth and worked its way down until I could feel it in my finger tips. It's almost over. My breathing began to normalize, and the shaking slowed down. Okay, okay, breathe in deeply. Exhale slowly. I lifted my right hand to my face, feeling the wetness around my eyes. When had I began to cry? Finn flew over to me and rested on my lap,
"Molly, it's going to be okay." He tried to soothe me, but he never really understood how to handle moments like this. I shook my head,
"I'm going to take a shower."
"You need to apologize for treating Luke like that." Finn sighed,
"I don't need to do anything until I've taken a shower."
"You're impossible!" Finn threw his hands up in the air, "You know Luke tried to talk to you after everything happened. Why are you trying to deny it? You're the one who shut yourself out." Shut up, Finn. Shut up. Shut up.
"Why is everyone picking on me today? I'm not the one who needs to apologize." I snapped at Finn, causing him to fly back in surprise. I almost never raise my voice with him, so he looked really hurt after he regained his composure. He was my only friend, after all, but sometimes he could be extremely annoying. I love him to death, though.
"Molly, we only want what's best for you." He flew back over to his bed, "Wake me up when you're done with your shower."
"Sooooo, where are we goin'?" Finn asked as he flew circles around my head. He obviously knew where we were going, but wanted me to admit it myself. I sighed and rolled my eyes at him as I grabbed him by the wings and sat him on my shoulder,
"Stop that you're going to make both of us sick." Finn laughed lightly in my ear,
"But where are we going?" We were making out way out on the path behind my house that led up the mountain. It was right around area where it becomes rockier and more gravelly than grassy. "Are we going to see Luke?"
"I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders, causing him bounce up and down a bit.
"You're no fun; just tell meeeeeeee!" Finn continued to whine a bit, even as we crossed over the rope bridge over the river and past the waterfall. Soon we were entering the Garmon Mine district
"Finn, you know where we're going. You know what we're doing." I shook my head, smiling slightly. It wasn't a particularly sunny day, in fact, it was fairly cloudy out. Though, that never bothered me anyways. I always did prefer rainy days to sunny days. Sometimes, the sun just gets too bright. It's too happy. There were several darker clouds out in the distance, over behind the mountain, ad were threatening for rain. Good. I hope it rains. I hope it rains today, tomorrow, forever. Just…no storms. I only want the light rain. The moody feeling rain. Storms are…scary. I sighed as a slight breeze whipped my hair around my face. I miss coming here all the time. The mining district used to be my favorite district to visit, not just because mining was fun, but the hike there was as equally enjoyable. I always did get pleasure from the strenuous workout up to the base of the mountain, and to the little shops surrounding it. The air was also nicer up there as well. It was thinner, because of the high altitude, and also felt a little cooler. Maybe I should start mining more. That would keep my mind off things.
I paused at the front door of the carpenter's shop, trying to work up the courage to face Luke after what had happened earlier this morning. I was really out of line, but he was just so frustrating. Biting my lip, I reached for the door knob, but was instead hit in the face by the door opening.
"Ah, shiiiiii-taki mushrooms," I laughed nervously, clutching at my forehead, trying to keep myself from cursing.
"OH! Oh my gosh, Molly are you okay?" I heard a deep voice, one that I didn't recognize, exclaim. I winced, removing my hand from my head to look up at who had hit me. The boy's sandy blond hair and bright green eyes were so familiar to me, but he had grown up so much. His face was no longer soft with the beginnings of puberty, and his arms looked as if they could carry ten of me. I stepped back in surprise,
"B-bo? Yeah, I'm fine, but you? You've…changed…" I cocked my head to the side, studying him in amazement. Bo laughed heartily,
"Really? I guess it's been a year and a half since the last time we've really spoken." He trailed off awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, "Uh, not to be rude, but is there a specific reason why you're here?" I felt my face flush,
"Is L-luke here?" I averted my eyes slightly, staring at the ground. Bo smirked at me,
"So you're here to see Luke, huh? Well, I guess it has been over a year since you and Gill broke up. Ready to finally move on, eh?" The boy laughed, nudging me in the arm a bit. I felt my chest tighten again, but I did my best to ignore it. Let's not talk about this, please? After a few seconds of me not responding, Bo finally sighed, "Lighten up, it was just a joke. I'll go get him, okay?" He smiled and left me standing out on the porch. Okay, so when he gets out here, just keep your cool. Apologize. Be nice. Don't say anything stupid. Pshh, like I could say anything stupid. Shut up, and listen. Just tell him you're sorry for what happened earlier. Yeah, but what if he doesn't accept? Well, at least you tried then, right? What's the point if he doesn't accept? Calm down, you haven't even apologized yet! Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. You're impossible! I'm you, dammit, don't argue with me!
"-Ollyyyyy? Hello? Is anyone in there?" I was forced from my thoughts, being tapped slightly on the head.
"Hmm? Oh, I'm s-sorry, I spaced out!" I sighed, looking up to find Luke staring intently at me, and I stepped back a bit, leaning against the railing of the porch.
"Did you need something?" Luke asked gruffly, and I winced at the harshness in his voice. Clearly he's still mad at me. I would be too if someone treated me like that! Shhhh!
"I-I just wanted to apologize for this morning, so uhm here," I bowed slightly in front of him, "P-please, I'm sorry for being so awful this morning!" Luke didn't say anything for a few seconds, and I glanced up at him, worried.
"No, I'm sorry. I should've been more understanding." He sighed, and I stood up quickly, messing my hair up again for the umpteenth time that day,
"N-no! I am the one that is sorry! I was out of line." I frowned slightly as Luke began to chuckle,
"So was I, though." He smirked at me and I pouted,
"Incorrect, false, you are wrong. I am the one that needs to apologize."
"Okay," Luke smiled at me, "I accept."
"Is that all you're going to say?"
"Is that not a good enough answer? I accepted your apology…"
"NO! I-I mean…I don't know. I guess I was expecting you to be mad? Or yell at me for being selfish?" I bit my lip and wrapped my arms around my waist as I leaned even more on the railing.
"Do you want me to yell at you?" Luke laughed, furrowing his brow in confusion,
"Uhm not really…" I smiled weakly and a little embarrassed,
"If you're that worried about it, I'm sure a nice dinner would make up for it." He smirked, walking closer to me,
"You want me to pay for your dinner?!"
"Do you want me to accept your apology?"
"…I thought you already did…" Luke stepped back and fake-coughed into his shoulder,
"Ahem…yes…But I can revoke it!"
"No, you can't…?" I laughed, becoming increasingly more confused with the conversation, "What in the world are you trying to do?"
"I-I'm…Dinner…?" He began to blush a little, "Go to dinner with me!" I stopped laughing, feeling my heart drop into my stomach. Dinner? What? He's serious? Why? I can't dinner…I can't go to dinner…not with Luke! He's just a friend. A friend I haven't even talked to in like forever! This doesn't even make sense. I was so mean to him earlier today, too. What in the frick-frack is actually freaking going on?
"Uhm…I…W-what?" I could feel the heat rising into my face again, "Dinner? With me? You want to go to dinner with me?" Ah, no. This is too much. Nope. Nope. Nope. Can't deal with this right now. Molly Grace Wyatt you will go to dinner with this man if it's the last thing I do! I am you! This is no time to be arguing. Go! But…Gill…BE HAPPY. EAT DINNER.I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts,
"Do you not want to?"
"No! No, I do not want to say no to going to dinner with you! I-I mean I don't not want to go to dinner with you- argh, I want to go. Yes. Take me to the food."I slapped my hand to my forehead, forgetting about the knot that was recently just put there, "O-ow!" Luke began to laugh uncontrollably,
"Oh my Goddess, are you even okay in the head?" He gasped for air, "Why was that so difficult?" I sighed, smiling all the while,
"I don't even know." We laughed for a bit longer, but soon we had to go back to work.
"So, just meet me at the Brass Bar?" He asked, and I shifted uneasily in my spot,
"Last time I was there was over a year and a half ago." Stared at the ground, trying not to make eye contact,
"Okay, well we don't have to meet there. I will pick you up, that way you don't have to feel sad and lonely on the way there by yourself." Luke smiled at me, patting me on the head. I looked back up at him, He's being so nice…
"Alright." I nodded my head, and waved goodbye on my way down the steps, "What time?"
"I'll pick you up at six!" He waved back and went back inside the shop. I walked hope, a little quicker than when I walked to the carpenter's. There was a noticeable skip in my step, and a little excitement running through my veins, even if the sky was darkening and a storm was noticeably brewing in the distance. Is this a date? Of course it's a date! He didn't ask me on a date. He asked for dinner. Asking someone to dinner is how you date! I'm sure he's just being nice. Being nice would be accepting your apology and moving on. Being interested is accepting your apology and forcing you to go to dinner. I-interested? Luke is NOT interested in me! Yes, he is. No, he's not! Yes, he is! No, he isn't! We haven't spoken in months! Probably closer to a year! Over a year maybe! This is ridiculous. I don't have to listen to you. Yes , you do, I'm you! I hate you! You hate yourself.
Finn was unusually quiet on the way home from the mining district, and also during the rest of the day while I finished up my chores. It was strange, most of the time he would have had a million and five questions about what was going on. He would have asked what I was going to do, what I was going to wear, how I felt about dinner- personally, and then he would have told me what he thought. There should have been no room for even me to talk back, but for whatever reason, he chose to be silent. I looked up at the sky, hand over my eyes to shield them from the nonexistent sun. It's going to rain. I can feel it…I hope Luke and I get to the bar before the storm hits…
"Finn, are you even awake?" I asked finally, after I finished my last chore of the day: taking care of my multitude of animals. I had so many now- cats, dogs, horses, cows, sheep, ducks, chickens, and pretty much any animal you could think of. They were my friends, and were always there to listen to my problems. To be honest, after Gill and I broke up, they all just started coming. It all began when I left a fish out for this orange and white tabby cat- his name is Abner, now. After that, they all began to just file in. It's my fault, really, because I love animals so much. I just kept befriending them. All of them. So many cute animals. Still, even after trying to talk to Finn, he didn't reply. "Finn? Fiiinnnnnn? Finny? Are you there?" I asked, worriedly shaking my shoulder.
"Wh-what?" He asked, annoyed and sleepily. I huffed angrily,
"Don't tell me you've been sleeping this whole time!" I heard Finn chuckle in my ear,
"I fell asleep during your talk with Luke. How did it go?"
"We're going to dinner. Tonight?"
"WHAT?"
"Exactly!"
"How did this happen?" I sighed and shrugged my shoulders at him,
"I don't even know. It just…did. What should I do? Do you think it's a date? What should I wear?" I began to panic a bit as I walked back into the house. It was about four now, and I had two hours to prepare myself for dinner. "Maybe this was a mistake. I'm still kind of sad about Gill."
"To hell with Gill, Molly." Finn flew in my face as I headed for the shower, "You're never going to get over it if you keep acting like this! You have to let yourself have some fun."
"B-but…"
"No buts! You can do this. Okay? Please, you can't keep beating yourself up about this. You can't keep yourself from being with others, either!" Finn sighed, "In order to let yourself love again, you have to take the risk of letting others love you."
"Molly, he's here! He's here! He's heeeerreeeeeee!" Finn squealed flying around my head excitedly. I laughed and twirled in front of him to show off my outfit. I was wearing a light pink dress with white lace around the edges and brown, ankle boots.
"Quickly, do I look okay?" I asked. Finn swooned,
"Adorable!" I nodded and opened the door. Luke was standing there, back turned to me, and muttering something under his breath.
"H-hello?" I asked timidly, and he turned around quickly, face slightly red.
"Ah! H-hey, Molly." He smiled, "Oh, uhm, these are for you." Luke handed me a bouquet of flowers. F-flowers? He brought me flowers! That sounds like something you do on a date…I told you, you dummy. Okay, calm down. Put them in the vase. I'm going to throw up. Uh, okay, no. Don't do that.I pulled my lips back tightly over my teeth, trying to smile without showing how nervous I was. I failed, most likely, but Luke didn't say anything.
"Thank you, I'll be right back. I'm going to put these in some water and then we can go ahead and go." I left and then came back as he waited patiently. The walk to the Brass Bar was a fairly long one, but Luke was extremely entertaining to talk to. He made me laugh a million times, and we didn't even notice how dark the sky got by the time we were half way there.
"D-did you hear that?" I asked, jumping slightly,
"Hear what?" Luke asked, still smiling at me. A low, menacing grumble in the distance sounded and I jumped again,
"THAT!"
"What, the thunder?" I clutched at my chest at his calmness,
"Yes! The thunder, it's going to rain!" Luke chuckled and shook his head,
"Nah, we're going to be fine. It's just thunder," He smirked at me, "Unless…don't tell me you're afraid of storms!" Luke laughed and grabbed my sides, tickling me slightly and causing me to yelp.
"Ah! N-no! S-s-stoooop that! I am not scared of storms." I huffed, putting a few feet between the two of us so he couldn't tickle me again. "You're so mean!" I whined jokingly and he scoffed.
"Mean? I'm no-" Just as Luke started in, a crack of lighting was heard and the heavens let loose a mighty down pour of cold, cold, rain.
"I TOLD YOU!" I shouted over the sound of the pounding rain drops, and we took off sprinting towards town. I was just ahead of him, but he was catching up quickly with his long strides,
"THIS IS TRUE, YOU DID INFACT TELL ME!" Luke shouted back, grabbing my hand as he passed by me, dragging me behind him. "HURRY UP, SLOW-POKE!"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SLOW-POKE?" I laughed and passed him again, and soon it turned into a game to see who could stay ahead of the other. We ran through massive mud puddles, not caring if we splashed dirt onto each other, and I even tripped in one. Luke helped me out of it, but didn't let me rest for long, because he grabbed my hand again and the race continued.
Soaked, out of breath, and freezing, the two of us finally entered the town. We slowed down a bit, but still quickly made our way up the steps.
"I'm going to beat youuu!" I sang as I skipped up to the door, but Luke just laughed and swooped me up in his arms.
"Oh no, you won't!" He pushed open the doors of the bar and walked in, still carrying me. Then he sat me down, chuckling, "Look, we tied." I swatted at his arm and turned to face everyone else. They had all pretty much stopped to look at who had walked in, but then realized it was Luke and I. No one really said anything, except for the occasional 'hello', but I could tell what they were thinking. 'What is she doing here?' was probably it.
"You choose a seat," I tried to fix my soaked hair nervously, because of the looks we were getting, but it was useless. It had gone completely flat and there was no point in trying to mess with it.
Luke chose one of the booths in the corner to sit at, which was nice, because then I could make sure no one was blatantly staring at the two of us. Kathy took our order, and she was so nice to me. It was really weird, and I feel horrible, because of the way I treated her and dropped all contact with her.
"Molly, are you okay?" Luke asked me, staring intently into my eyes. I felt my breathing hitch, but I pushed past it and nodded my head.
"Yeah, I'm just…" I trailed off a bit, "Kathy and I haven't talk in a long time either." I finally decided to say. Luke smiled,
"She still wants to be your friend. Everyone still wants to be friends with you, and like I said earlier, we're all worried about you." He patted my hand, but I took it back and sat it in my lap. It didn't even faze him, only made him smile even more. "We know what you went through was hard, but if you want, we're still here for you." I felt the tear well up in my eyes. Any other day, I would have lashed out in anger. Hell, this morning when he was basically saying all the same things, I lashed out in anger.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I bowed my head, trying not to look Luke in the eyes,
"I understand what you went through, you know. With Selena and all," He began to talk, and I listened. I let him do most of the talking from that point on. "She really hurt me, and it was very similar to how you and Gill broke up. So, I really do understand how hard it must have been for you, but you have to let yourself rely on others more."
"How did you get to be so wise?" I chuckled through my mess of tears, "It seems like just yesterday you were still so immature."
"Immature!? You thought I was immature?" Luke laughed in surprise, waving his hands around and causing me to laugh even harder. I wiped the tears from my now puffy face,
"Can you blame me?"
"No," He smiled, "Because I really was, but I guess you live and learn. You can't just cut yourself off from people and never allow yourself to love again. The only way to heal is to let you love and be loved in return." I sighed shakily and took a drink of the blueberry cocktail I ordered, but when I looked up I saw a very, very, angry Selena making her way over to our table.
"Are you serious right now?" She demanded, slamming her fist on the table. Luke jumped, looking up at her. His usual happy demeanor immediately turning sour,
"Serious? Excuse me? I don't understand what the problem is." He replied, scary calmly. Some people began to turn and look at us, and I just shrank down in my seat hoping she wouldn't look at me.
"You're on a date with her?" Selena rolled her eyes as she made a weird disgusted noise,
"I-I thought you said you weren't dating anymore…" I squeaked out, feeling the heat rise in my face and my stomach began to churn. Oh no. Not again. No, no, no,no, don't tell me this is happening again. I felt my chest tighten and the panic rise in my throat. Calm down. If Luke says they're not dating, then they're not dating. She's so mad, though. What if I'm the other girl? What is going on? I can't breathe. Deep breaths. Remember. Deep breaths. I'm going tO THROW up!
"Okay, no, you need to back you soggy lampshade." Selena turned to face me, and got in my face, "I don't know where you've been, but Luke and I have been dating for some time now." My head started to spin out of control, and I felt my legs shake as I stood up in the booth.
"S-soggy l-lampshade?"
"Did I stutter? That's what you look like to me." She picked at her nails, bored with the conversation.
"Molly, please sit down. Don't listen to her, she's lying." Luke tried to calm me down from across the table, but I couldn't process his words fast enough in my head. Too many thoughts were jumbling together and nothing was making any sense. I took a deep breath. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. And then exhaled. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
"Are you inept? What are you even doing?" Selena grabbed my arm roughly, pulling me out of the booth and shoving me, "Get out of here! No one wants you here!"
"Luke said you aren't dating anymore. I'm not leaving." I planted my feet and regained my posture, "You hurt him, just like I was hurt. You are the one that needs to leave!" I raised my voice, and Selena scoffed, turning to Luke.
"Seriously?" She asked, shaking her head,
"You cheated on me, and now I'm here with Molly." Luke smiled at me, and I tried to smile back.
"No one will love you like I love you." Selena sighed and then glared at me, "You're pathetic." And with that she pushed past me, roughly, but I didn't say or do anything. Still shaking, I sat calmly back down in the booth,
"That was terrifying." I laughed, but I knew deep down I was still shaken up about it. Almost losing my cool like that in public is one of the worst things I could ever think of.
"You handled it well," Luke nodded, taking a drink of his cocktail, "Well, kind of. I could tell you almost had a nervous breakdown over there."
"More like a panic attack. Those happen to me quite frequently…" I wrapped my arms around myself, something I do that helps comfort me. "How can you come here and hangout with me when you've been hurt like that?"
"I don't want to shut myself out, but don't get me wrong. It still hurts whenever I see her, and even more when stuff like this happens." Luke sighed, staring off into space. His topaz colored eyes glinted in the low lighting of the bar, and I watched him in admiration, "Moving on is one of the hardest things to do, but you have to let yourself try to love again. It's a process." He smiled greatly at me and grabbed my hand, causing my face to blush.
"I wish I could be more like you."
"You're here, aren't you? I told you, it's a process. It won't happen in a night, and it won't even happen within a month. Hell, look at how long it took you to even get to this point." Luke squeezed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine,
"Ah, I-I uhm…" I trailed off, and my face was now a bright as a tomato. Luke's eyes widened in concern,
"S-sorry, was that too much?"He asked, trying to remove his hand from mine,
"N-no!" I shouted a little too loudly, squeezing my hand tightly with his, "This is fine. This is a nice pace, for now." I looked away from him, trying not to meet his eyes. It's been over a year and a half…I haven't talked to Luke in so long, how are we getting along this well? Don't put too much thought in it! You're not dating, yet. Just let it happen. Let what happen? Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, bby, shhhhhhh. You're impossible. I'm you.
"So, do you want to go to the wedding with me tomorrow?" Luke asked, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles, sending a tingling sensation through my arm. I nodded my head,
"Yes, I think I can do that."
~Fin
Okay, Okay, I know this was super freaking long, but I was worried about rushing it too much. Also, I wanted there to be a lot of character development with Molly. I hope everyone liked it, and I'm sorry if it's still really poor quality of writing. I've improved over the years, but there is still so much I need to work on.
My sens of humor is weird, I know, but I hope some people got a few laughs from this. Ah- yeah. This is set as a complete story, because there is a squeal, but it's in a different time line and also from a different point of view. It was meant to be a companion story- like you don't have to read the first to get the second, but I changed my mind. I want them to be together. Also, that way if they get enough likes, I could do a whole bunch more of the little one shots. I don't know. I haven't made up my mine. It's just a thought.
Anyways, thanks for reading! Don't forget to drop off a review and tell me what you think! :) It's always appreciated.