Authors note: I always found the scene in "Reckoning" S7/E15, where Kate is standing, bloody scalpel in hand, over Doctor Neiman's body to be rather disturbing. So this is just my way of answering that scene through Jerry Tyson's point of view, while also giving him a chance to say any last words.

Epitaph

Yeah, I know. I'm dead. And I gotta say, I was surprised. I didn't think Castle had it in him to one-up me. Really thought Beckett was all the leverage I needed to control him. Boy was I wrong. Well, it's too late for a do over. I may not have succeeded in ripping out Castle's heart, but in the end I did manage to taint the soul of his beloved Detective Beckett. Did you see her, standing there? I did. It was the last thing I saw, or what was left of me saw before I…well, that's a story I can't even begin to tell you. So, let me just stick to my epitaph.

Ok, if I had a tombstone…that's if, because as it is, I lie buried in a wooden box beneath two other wooden boxes containing other unclaimed remains in a Potters field. There isn't even a plaque with my name. I am now just a number engraved onto a metal stake that's been plunged into the ground above me. M7305-R4-03. I am the 7,305th person to be buried here this year…plot M, row four, third person from the top. That's all that's left of me. And it's the one thing that pisses me off the most, more than the dying. It's not being able to have the last word. So…if I had a tombstone, this is what I would have wanted it to say:

"You can't always get what you want…

…but you get what you need."

Yeah, go ahead and laugh. It's a quote from a Stone's song. But it's perfect. And what are today's songwriters anyway but yesterday's bards.

Castle denied me of what I thought I wanted, of the power to control them both, to make them suffer. But it was Beckett who gave me what I needed. Oh, Detective, what you did! I was impressed. Truly impressed! Did you see her, standing there with all that blood covering her hands, dripping off the tip of that scalpel? You didn't see what happened, but I did. Don't ask me how I got there. I hadn't ever been dead before, but 'bam!' there I was in an instant, watching her from above. Some kind of cosmic closure I guess, I dunno? All I can say is, it was exquisite! Doc Nieman, she never stood a chance; I applauded her conviction though. She died never giving Beckett what she wanted, never told her where Castle was or if he was dead or alive.

You know, now that I think about it, both women gave me something I needed. Nieman gave me her life. And Beckett…she gave me a piece of her soul. No, I'm not going to tell you what she did. That's my trophy. But you saw her, the same as they all did when they burst into that room. She never flinched. She just stood there, transfixed; her entire focus was upon the body at her feet. And oh, all that blood! They may not want to admit it, but we saw it on their faces…the shock and the horror. For a split second, what everyone saw looked like something out of a slasher film. And then there was that look on Beckett's face when she turned around. Wow! I am gonna treasure that forever.

Some of you are scoffing, I know. Hey, to each his own. But let me tell you this. Strangulation, it is a power trip, or it was for me. But killing someone the way she did, with a scalpel, that…that was primal. Hell, I was dead and she scared the shit out of me. And it was at that moment that I knew I'd been given closure. You don't like it, too bad. It's done. I'm done. And now, before I pass away into history via the obligatory true crime novel or two hour long movie of the week, I want to take you back to the moment I died. Do you remember it? Castle mocking me…saying that he lured me into my own trap so that he could watch me die. Remember? Well, there is this one thing you may not remember, and it happened right after the bullet hit me in the chest. I remember it though. I couldn't help but hear it. It was just how many of you were cheering! Now tell me this, what the hell does that say about you?