Edited: 4-April-2012 (Mostly spelling and grammar, but there is a bit of re working to make the story flow better too. Thank you for those of you that PM me and let me know about the errors. If you all find more please let me know.)
Author's Note: This is my first Mass Effect Story so please I would hope you all stop and give me a bit of constructive feedback. This is also my very first work in the first person. I so hope I did ok with it.
Spoiler Alert: This as info from the Mass Effect 1, DLC Lair of the Shadow Broker in Mass Effect 2, and very minor info about Mass Effect 3. Also the story would make more sense if you have a basic working knowledge of the Mass Effect world. Just giving you a heads up.
Background Information: This is written based on my Commander Shepard I have been playing since Mass Effect 1. I've imported this character all the way through Mass Effect 2 and now Mass Effect 3. My Commander Shepard is female and has been paired with Liara T'Soni from the start and no other romances through any of the trilogy. My Shepard is a Paragon, though in this one shot it doesn't matter so much but I wanted to let you all know.
Disclaimers: If you don't like a loving relationship between two women then don't read. If you start to read and you find you don't like the story then don't read just click the little X and it will go away, I promise! I don't own any of the characters within the Mass Effect World unfortunately they belong to Bioware and EA I'm just using them a bit and I'm not getting money from my work it's all just for fun.
Enjoy and please Review.
MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME
I woke up with a start a light sheen of sweat misting my skin as my eyes try to adjust to the low light levels in my quarters. After a few breaths I realize that my breathing is heavy and ragged and my heart is racing. Shifting the thin sheets off my legs, I swing them over to the edge of the bed placing my bare feet on the deck and brace my elbows on my knees as I cover my face with my hands trying to calm down and figure out why I had awakened in such a state. Then it hit me again, an echo of despair, grief, and pain. It made me choke on a sob as it drifted through my consciousness, and I knew it was not my emotions at least not directly. Sighing, I stood and grabbed some clothes to put on so I could leave my quarters without causing undo attention, "Kaelyn, I wish you would talk to me... You need not bare this alone." I find myself whispering to my empty cabin as I finally buckle my boot and stand to leave my quarters.
No one paid me any mind as I walked past the few crew that were eating a meal or talking with each other. There was always someone up and around at all hours on a ship. My heart ached as I stepped into the lift and sighed with relief when no one joined me in side. I selected the level on the panel and leaned heavily against the lift wall. I knew I really shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't just let her suffer. It's not the first time I have felt the subtle shifts of Commander Kaelyn Shepard's emotions.
With us now in such close proximity all the time it's becoming common place. It's not something I have shared with Kaelyn, and makes me feel a bit guilty for not being forthcoming about something so personal, but in truth; I do not know what she will make of it. It is not normal for casual couplings for this to occur. Though, no one could call our couplings casual, far and few between maybe but not casual even in their rarity. This phenomenon is not uncommon with couples that have formed a fully bonding union, but very rare with those that have not, and never with a non-Asari coupling. In truth the only reason it is not as strong as it could have been is because I started the bonding but did not complete it, all without informing Kaelyn, hence the guilt.
Thinking about that night nearly seven months ago still makes me shiver with a mixture of desire and despair. She was once again about to go out and save the galaxy from the Reapers and I was so terrified she would not come back to me. She had told me that if it was all over the next day she would want to marry and have lots of little blue children running around, the thought makes me smile even now. When she asked me to give her something worth coming back for I nearly wept with my desire to keep her there, with me forever, so that I wouldn't lose her again.
As she took me there, that night, I opened my mind to hers fully so that she would feel what I felt for her and I would feel what she felt for me; in that moment of perfect union, that was so beautiful in it's purity, I nearly finished the connection. I wanted to make sure that I would have something of her if she didn't return to me, and if not for the words that where being whispered softly from Kaelyn's lips, I would not just have this mental connection to her, I would be carrying a daughter made from our union as well. As she laid atop of me she promised me that she would come back and nothing could keep her from returning to me. I cried as my body and soul released with her knowing touch, pulling back from the 'union,' just holding her tightly to me as I wept. Kaelyn just held me, stroking my damp skin gently, telling me how much she cared for me and that she would not leave me again.
Due to the depth in which I formed the union we still remained slightly linked, which brings me back to the here and now. Normally I would ring the chime to announce my presence but I don't want to give Kaelyn the chance to hide behind her carefully constructed walls once again. "EDI?" I call softly, knowing the AI would here me.
"Yes, Doctor T'Soni?" EDI responded lightly back, as I leaned my forehead against the door blocking my path.
I was tired of keeping my distance and holding back how I felt for Kaelyn. It was taxing to constantly war with myself about whether or not I should allow myself to be in love with anyone, let alone Kaelyn, at such a young age. I was only one hundred and nine, and for an Asari, a race that can have a thousand year life span, I was just out of adolescence. As I stand here wishing this door was gone so that I could just hold Kaelyn in my arms and make the pain she was feeling go away, I finally realize that I don't want to hold back from Kaelyn any longer and at this moment in time I just want to let go and tell Kaelyn that I loved her with everything that I am. That I very much wanted to share that life she had flippantly described to me all those months ago. "EDI? Open the door, please?" I finally whispered as yet another echo flittered through my mind.
There was a very slight pause though if EDI was a person it would have been a rather long pause as they tried to figure out the reason behind such a request without all the data. "I apologize Doctor T'Soni, but it would be unethical to-"
I cut her off, the need to comfort my lover becoming more urgent "I know EDI, Please..." I paused, how do I explain why it was so urgent for me to get in there at that very moment without just ringing the chime and announcing my self. "She's hurting EDI, she needs me... I... I need her" I finished softly.
EDI didn't respond back, she didn't need to as the soft click and hiss of the door unlocking and quietly opening told me that EDI believed me and knew I was there to help the Commander. The soft glow of the large fish tank was more than enough illumination to make my way to Kaelyn's bed side. The sight of the woman I love in so much turmoil was enough to break my heart all over again. By the Goddess how she copped with this on a daily basis and function as she does with the same sincere nobility, and she has possessed from the day that I met her years ago, I can not say. All I can say is that I will no longer stand on the sidelines and let her suffer it alone.
I swiftly shed my clothing and set them on the couch nearby, then walk quietly over to the bed. Kaelyn had long ago thrown off her light sheet and was only clad in one of her black Alliance issued tank tops and running shorts I had seen her wear when she was making her daily run around the ship. I slowly lowered myself to sit on the edge of the mattress, silently thankful that the mattress was harder than it looked, something that Kaelyn had joked about a few times before. There was a soft whimper and an equally softly spoken "Please..." that came from Kaelyn's lips. The plea was one for acceptance, what ever was happening in her dream world she wanted to be believed. Kaelyn had faced so much resistance to nearly every thing she has been trying to do for the past three years that it could be literally any number of events that the dream could be about.
It was time to end Kaelyn's dream, I didn't want her to suffer anymore. I laid myself next to her, on my side easing my weight on my elbow, my body not quite touching hers reaching out I lightly stroke Kaelyn's soft damp hair. I hold my breath as I wait to see if Kaelyn will wake, slowly I release it as she doesn't. It's obvious now, as I'm so close to her and with my sense of touch, that she has been sweating but it doesn't bother me. I keep my touch feather light as I move my fingers through her inky black hair. It's something that I've always found so fascinating about Kaelyn. I can't say that hair is something I find attractive in every human, but nearly everything about Kaelyn has fascinated me from the very beginning. Her hair is so dark and soft in the few times we have been together I found that my hands find their way to it often.
Once durning a visit before Kaelyn had made the jump through the Omega-4 relay I remember just laying, much like I am now, with her body just snuggled against mine and just run my fingers through her hair for nearly a half an hour. It was the most intimately beautiful thing I've ever experienced in my life. Now I note how much longer her hair is than it was then, it was out of it's high "ponytail" and splayed over her pillow. It had this shine to it that reminded me it of silk as it reflected the suns rays, even in the dim light that came from the fish tank in her cabin.
I find myself smiling as I watch the tension in her face ease as I continue my ministrations. She is also leaning into my touch which makes me breath a little easier as the waves of emotions from Kaelyn begin to fade to the subtle "hum" I had come to associate with her being close by. I find myself wondering how much stronger the bond would be if we ever do bond fully, it already feels so strong, but that could just be because I've never bonded with anyone this closely before.
"I could have sworn I had locked my cabin door when I went to bed." The horsely spoken words interrupted my thoughts and made me stop, my fingers entrenched in her thick locks. I look down at her and see that Kaelyn had yet to open her eyes a smile once again spreading over my lips as she turns more fully towards me and drapes an arm over my waist as she tucks her head just under my chin her ear nestling against my breast where she would easily hear my heart beat.
"It opened right up for me so I guess you didn't." I teased her lightly a soft chuckle escaping my lips. She only gave a sleepy laugh knowing I was lying but not really caring.
I lowered myself to lay more fully on the bed, Kaelyn shifting so that I could get my shoulder under her head, I execrated my hand from her hair briefly only to replace it with the hand attached to the shoulder she was now resting on. Still settling against me she softly pleas, "Don't stop, please." I turn my head and lightly brush my lips over her forehead my fingers return to slowly running through her silky hair.
With the other hand I gave a small biotic lift to the sheet and lowered it back down to cover us, I didn't want Kaelyn to get too cold as the sweat began to dry on her body, lovingly stating in a soft murmur "I won't stop my love, sleep now, I will keep the demons at bay." I'm not really sure if she heard my words or not, as the sheet settled in place over our bodies, I heard her deep even breathing indicating she had already drifted back to sleep. I planned to keep my word none the less. Commander Kaelyn Shepard may be the one that protects us all from the demons that haunt the galaxy, but I will be the one that protects her from the demons that haunt her soul.