Authors note: This is for Under Finger And Thumb, who recently got a tattoo of a fanart she drew of my fic Beautiful Liar. This isn't a sister fic, it's sort of a drabble but it isn't really, call it a One-shot that has nothing to do with anything. Awesome huh?
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it, although, I do own a muffin. No, I refuse to share, get your own!
Regretful light;
Everyday I wake up knowing, simply knowing that I'll never see them again. I'm always cold, lying still on the floor in cell that they left me in. It's dark, the only light in the room emanates from a small candle. It's almost burnt out. I watch as the flame flickers, my lips form a grim line. It's probably pretty breezy today. Not that I would know for sure.
Ever since that day...darkness. It was like even the sun faded away, frightened of the new era. Hidden, buried deep beneath the clouds, gray, ever lifeless. I had known since the beginning it would have been bad, but I never expected this – mercy. They allowed me my life, not that I'm allowed to live it at all. I'm trapped. It's like some cruel, twisted game of 'Who can break me first'.
They made me watch them die. Some even had they audacity to wrap their arms around me – tell me everything would be okay. I never believed them. It was disgusting, watching everyone I ever knew and loved get cut down. By the end of it all I was caked in blood, never knowing whose it was.
Shuddering at the memory, I close my eyes willing those poisonous thoughts away. It doesn't do me any good, to think of things like that now. A waste of time, nothing will come of it, fruitless attempts to think of ways I could have stopped it, ways in which I could have saved them. The only thing that matters is the end result; I didn't.
No matter what I do, nothing can stop those thoughts flooding my mind. It was the best of worst day of his life, it was great, to be able to watch him become Hokage, finally. It cut us all deeply, watching him fall at their hands. We fought so hard to protect him, yet...it wasn't enough, nothing we did was ever enough! With all the Bijuu finally extracted, no-one stood a chance of survival.
It was a matter of hours before Konoha fell, days before Suna, months before the rest. The only ones able to put up even the slightest challenge were the sound-nin, of course, Orochimaru would never go down without a fight. But of course, nothing lasts forever. As it turns out, Akatsuki became the ones to finally defeat him, I wouldn't expect anything less from them.
A cold chill runs down my spine causing me to grip at the tattered material that clothes me. I turn my head, gazing in a half-aware state out at the nights sky. It had long since turned a deep red, banishing the calming navy that painted the skies before. At least...I think it was navy. I don't remember anymore. I don't remember much, come to think of it. Not the smile on Hinata's face when she assured herself that one day she'd tell Naruto how she felt, nor the sigh Shikamaru would give every time something was troublesome, be it Ino or just waking up in the mornings.
I have no idea how long I've been down here, it's hard to tell when there aren't any sunrises, or sunsets, for that matter. Day merges into night now, always dark. It really makes me wonder...why didn't they just kill me then and there? Why did they have to pick me? Was everyone really gone?
I have to blink my tears away, I ask myself those same questions day in, day out. Fruitless as ever. I wish I could just shut my brain off, trying to escape is useless, having discovered the hard way, multiple times...I really don't think I'm up for another round. I jump slightly, jerking upright when I hear the door to my cell opening and closing violently. I curse inwardly, I had forgotten it was time for my daily visit.
"Good morning, Kiba-kun," it's him again, always him, no-one else but him and his piercing azure eyes "you've missed me, yeah?" I say and do nothing as he moved to sit across from me, cross-legged with a mischievous smirk on his face. He sighs loudly, agitated "you're dirty again!" he yells at me in a scolding tone, while bringing the sleeves of his cloak to my cheek and scrubbing at the muck furiously, while his other hand cupped my other cheek, steadying me.
I wince, and pull away sharply, causing him to glare at me "Look, yeah. You haven't spoken for months and Zetsu-san says it's unhealthy-" he pauses for a moment, staring at me pointedly "make no mistake, I could care less about what happens to you, but making you speak is my mission, got it?" Nothing, simply silence "Got it?" he repeats firmly, in a tone that I know promises pain.
In response I nod, which apparently wasn't be best thing to do, since the next thing I knew, I was brought to my feet, only to be sent plummeting to the floor seconds later with a swift kick in the gut. I groan as I hit the wall, sliding to the floor. My vision blurs as he descends upon me once again. I cringe, trying to pull away as he cups my face in his hands.
My eyes flutter open cautiously when I felt his thumbs rubbing gentle circles on my tattooed cheeks. I almost feel like I could ask him what the fuck he thought he was doing. He's tried everything to get me to talk, nothings worked, if I didn't know better, I'd say I didn't have a voice anymore. Our eyes lock; I can't help but wish I didn't. The look in them, it's almost kind. It's sick.
That stupid smirk is back on his face, causing me to look away "you have beautiful eyes" he says, chuckling. I pointedly ignore him, focusing on the candle on the other side of the room, it's burned down a lot, it's almost out. It'll be a while before it gets replaced. I'm forced away from my musings when I receive a series of taps on my cheek, I turn back to my blond captor, and he...seems pretty irritated "eyes on me Kiba-kun" he says, his voice sickeningly sweet.
I scowl silently at him, my rage slowly building "it won't do your friends justice if you die now, will it? Like this, like a trapped rat, yeah." At that I lunge at him, my finger nails elongating as I attempt to wrap my hands around his neck. He throws me off to the side effortlessly and I growl, having forgotten how weak I was. I tense up as he straddles my hips, smirking down at me. His laugh sent shudders down my spine.
Setting my mouth in a deep frown when he grips my chin between his finger and thumb, shaking my head from side to side roughly "Let's make a deal, yeah." He stills the motions of my head, once again looking into my eyes. "Tell me you love me...and I'll set you free." I don't know how long I was staring at him for, the only thing I managed to register was the candle light flickering in the background, causing his hair to shine like gold. The most colour I had seen in so long...
I gasped loudly upon being dragged from my thoughts once again, I'm completely still, once I take in that I do, in fact, have his lips running up and down my jaw line "come on," he says between kisses "saying 'I love you, Deidara-sama' isn't hard. yeah..." I open my mouth to retort, my anger at it's peak, only to find I couldn't.
Pulling me up by my hair, I cry out as his lips smash against mine, my protests are muffled when I feel his tongue being crammed down my throat. I'm too shocked to do anything but kiss back. The kiss itself is messy and sloppy, our tongues battle for dominance, and, regrettably, I'm losing. Hot tears find themselves running down my cheeks; this is the only real physical contact I've had in so long...and, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I need it – want it, even.
Reluctantly, my hands grip tightly at the front of his cloak, pulling him closer. I know what I'm doing, and I know it's wrong, but I can't stop myself...I let out a whimper when he pulls away from me, wishing I could have more of the wonderful contact. He shushes me, running a hand through my dirt-matted hair.
He gets off my hips, causing me to yelp in injustice, he shushes me, again. Pushing me back to the ground. We stay like that for a while until he begins to run his hands up and down my chest slowly, I gasp silently, when his hands slip under my clothes, which I'm more or less certain used to be a potato sack, or at least really bad linen. He rests his hand on my inner thigh, and I look off to the side, with a deep blush on my features, noticing for the first time that the candle had dimmed significantly.
He uses a single nail and runs it up and down my leg, causing me to fidget uncomfortably at the tickling sensation "won't you say it for me...?" he questions, pouting, almost cutely. The smirk is back on immediately after, and he moves his face closer to mine "I know you want to" I let out a strangled moan when I feel the wet and slimy tongue of his hand-mouth lick the tip on my semi-hardened shaft.
Cursing myself, I let out a shaky breath, thinking. To say it, and be set free? It sounds like a good deal, right? Wrong. What's waiting for me out there? Nothing. From all the stories I've heard from Deidara, I've got it cushy in here, where I can be looked after and fed on a regular basis. Out there it's a struggle to even feed yourself, let alone your family. But...if I'm in here – I moan again, that tongue had taken another lick at me, distracting me from my thoughts.
"I..." I pause to gulp, my voice hoarse from lack of use. Deidara's assault ceases , as he stares, waiting for me to finish, while reaching into his pouch for something "I'd rather eat shoe leather" I finish, unsure what I decent retort would be after being so out of practice.
He sighs, standing up, leaving me on the floor. "Fine, yeah" he says pulling a kunai into my line of sight "and to think I would have allowed you to join your friends." I stare in a stunned silence at him, watching, unable to move as he turns and walks away, leaving the same way he entered, violently.
I blink in surprise when the candle finally goes out, plunging me into darkness, all alone, once again, with no chance of ever getting out of this cell. This thought alone sends my tears falling thick and fast, and I allowed it, realizing that nothing and no-one was going to stop me.
(A/N: What do you think everyone? I, personally, am quite proud of myself. This was quite hard to write. I'm not very good with one-shots, so you can imagine...yeah. It was hard. Thank you, I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did.)