They finally did it; they finally just went to Vegas and got hitched and man was he fucking relieved. They're both glad they decided to just take themselves [and Santana, Matt, Quinn and Sam because they couldn't do something that big without their best friends] to Sin City and just got it over with.
Okay, so the only reason they actually did it without telling anyone was because everyone was driving them crazy; especially their batshit, certified crazy ass parents. It was supposed to be their day, right? The first few weeks it was all good until Rachel called his ma one night to ask her advice on centerpieces. After that the woman was calling Rachel every single hour to check up on the plans, like no joke. His mother got her dads totally into helping [taking over] with the wedding plans one day when they saw her walking out of the craft store with a shitload of materials for centerpieces.
It got so bad that one day he came home from work only to find Rachel bawling her eyes out over a half gallon of soy rainbow sherbet while watching Monster-in-Law. Puck sat down beside her and pulled the frozen dessert out of her hands and set it on the coffee table [on a coaster, fuck you very much] before pulling his fiancé onto his lap. He quietly asked her what was wrong while brushing her hair out of her face and she sobbed out that their wedding didn't even feel like it was theirs anymore. He got pissed then because he didn't give a fuck what the wedding looked like as long as he was marrying Rachel, but once he finds his baby crying? Shit gets fucking serious, motherfuckers.
"What do you wanna do then baby?" Puck had asked tenderly. He looked straight into her big, beautiful brown eyes to let her know that whatever they did was her decision.
"Let's to Las Vegas Noah," she'd exclaimed, suddenly excited about having at least some say in the planning. "You, me, Santana, Quinn, Matt and Sam; all of us. They're the only people I care about seeing us getting married right now. Please, baby?"
To say he had been shocked would be the under-fucking-statement of the fucking century. He always knew Rachel to be the kind of girl that wanted the big wedding with the press all trying to get in [like the way they did at their engagement party] and everyone they know there. He guessed that their parents completely ruined wedding planning for her in every possible sense, though, so he understood.
"Alright then," Puck chuckled as Rachel giggled and squealed excitedly.
She was up off his lap in seconds calling both of her best girlfriends on three way while he texted for Matt and Sam to come over to their apartment so they could talk to them. Their friends all arrived within seconds of each other since Matt and Santana lived together [as a couple] and Sam and Quinn lived together [as a married couple pregnant with their first child] in their building.
Both Rachel and Puck discussed with the four others what they wanted to do and asked if they were willing to go with them. Quinn and Santana jumped up immediately and hugged Rachel in that weird chick group hug thing they do while Santana yelled something about how it was "fucking time you took charge, Rae". Sam and Matt stood and told him they were in before Matt said something about his ma going on a fucking rage.
"She's my ma," Puck replied, "I love her and I respect her but fuck her and everyone else in the damn fucking world if she thinks she can make my baby cry and get away with it. She's lucky this is all I'm doing. If it was anybody else, their useless life would be fucking over."
All six friends had their flight booked, their bags packed and were heading to the airport within two hours. Puck and Rachel packed two large suitcases each along with carry ons because they would be heading to their honeymoon in Spain [they would head to Italy after that, fuck you he took care of his wifey to be so good] right after they got married. The four others would head back home to New York where they would proceed to ignore all three parental units until the couple got back in two weeks.
Rachel called her director and explained everything to him about what their parents were doing and how they were going to be gone for three weeks and the man [who loved Rachel like his own daughter] told her to take an entire month off and that her understudy could handle things. Puck did the same with his producer and he told him that they could put his album on hold for a month as well. The girls also went ahead and called a Jewish place on the strip to book a time for them so they could make it to their flight on time.
Everything was going according to plan and Puck was fucking glad that something was the way they wanted it.
A flight and two hours later Rachel Berry became Rachel Berry-Puckerman and both she and her new husband [and their friends] couldn't have been happier. They got the simple ceremony that they wanted and they got to share with the people most important to them.
"Noah," Rachel gasped as all six of them settled into the limo that would drive them to the airport, "don't tell your mother. She'll kill me in my sleep."
"Baby," Puck said incredulously, "maybe you've been talking to my ma too much. You're legit crazy cakes if you think I'm going to tell the devil's daughter about this."
Rachel wanted to scold him for speaking poorly about his mother but instead she just shrugged and giggled before pecking him on his lips then leaning against him with her head on his shoulder.
A month later they had their parentally planned wedding just like it was supposed to happen and all six of them agreed that their real wedding would be their little secret.
What they didn't know? Six years later their four year old son will innocently ask his grandma what it means to elope and where Vegas is at because he wants to see the place where his mommy and daddy got married.
