The Way I remember

by MartinezlovesMalik

Happy is a girl who is mentally ill, who came just came out of the mental hospital. She is trying really hard to move on from her past, but she finds it hard to escape when trials come across her ways. A new school, home, friends, and setting. This was supposed to be good for her, but is it making her worse? She fights against love for Owen, her old and new friends, and school.

Chapter one –The beginning-

Happy's point of view

I tossed and turned until I gave up. The covers made me feel trapped, I rustle them down to my feet. After a few moments I'd feel the air flow from me and I'd feel alone. I rolled out of bed and laid flat on my back as I hit the floor. I stare up at the hospitals ceiling. The cold tile floor gave me goose bumps and stood up, my feet walking me towards the door. I stop at the door and turn around to look at my room, the bed molded into the floor, to insure we couldn't flip or throw it at staff. A plastic chair with a desk also molded into the floor and wall. In the dark it all looked the same. I turned back to door which I expected to be already open, with a big metal square handle, but I found my bedroom door with its round handle. I turned around and my bed hung over my computer desk and unmade. My closest half open, with my wooden chair that hung clothes. I had forgotten I left the hospital a week ago. It was time for school to start. I turned my head and there were wal-mart bags full of supplies. I looked closely at the clothes on the chairs and price tags still hung from them. I let myself slide down on the wall to sit on my carpet floor. I swung my head forward to bang it against the wall, but it would have woken everybody up. I didn't want that, at least at the time I didn't. I didn't need anyone coming into my room, it was only 4:16 am in the morning and I needed time alone. School. People. Teachers. Classes. School. The one place I spoke about over and over again in group. The place that brought me to where I was in the moment. I scuffed and groaned. I crawled over to my desk and grabbed a marker. I began to mark my skin. The first line tickled my wrist. I began to mark down harder as I tally marked my right wrist. By the time I was half way down my left wrist I needed a new a tool. I grabbed a pen, and let the sharpness go down my left thigh. I let out a moan of relief. I let the pen roll out of my hand. I looked up at the clock, 4:51 am. I had to find a way to make them let me stay home from school. I couldn't go back. It was a new school, new people, new home, new setting just what I needed. But at the moment I didn't believe it was what I wanted. My wrists and legs began to itch. I dug what little nail I did have on my small fingers into my skin. It wasn't long for the itching to stop. But of course the oh so familiar tingling feeling stayed. I needed to pee. I stood up and wiggled my toes in between the carpet. I went to my dresser and grabbed a pair. The image of hospital socks replaced my polka dotted purple ones. I dropped them on the tile floor. I took deep breaths and was back to looking at my carpet floor. I quickly picked up my socks and put them on before my mind could play tricks on me once again. I walked out into the hallway, and stood listening for anyone who may have woken up. I tipped toed towards the bathroom. On my way I passed the kitchen, still only 5:03 am. I had about an hour before anyone woke up. I turned on the light and realized that was a huge mistake. I had forgotten I wasn't in the hospital and that my house indeed had a mirror in the bathroom as any other. I turned into the closest and pulled out beach towels. I went into the kitchen and grabbed push pins from the drawer. I went back into the bathroom and hung the beach towels over the mirror. I was pleased but I didn't turn back on the light. It was still summer soon light would shine from the window. I turned the shower on warm and let it run as I undressed. I let the water run out the marker and pen. It revealed red markings where I pushed the tool down harder onto my skin. I stepped under the shower head sighing in sweet relief and the water engulf me. I smiled and the plan began to swirl in my head. Once showered I wrapped my hair in a towel and wrapped myself in another. Before opening the door I smiled once more for practice and headed to my room to practice some more.