"Ready or not, here I come!" Shouted Edward as he effortlessly flew through the forest, searching for his wife. "Bella! I'm serious, we mightn't get any sleep, but you can't hide from me forever, Emmett will be all jokes when he hears that we haven't had sex in three days."

But what Edward didn't know was this Bella was in quite a sticky situation. "Edward! Get me out of here!" Bella screeched, her voice no longer sweet as a vampire's voice should be, "I'm stuck in this treasure chest, let me out!"

Bella could hear loud thuds, resembling those of footsteps. They were obviously not Edward's, but she was much too intoxicated to tell the difference. "Help?!" and that was we think that Bella lost consciousness…

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" some random voice woke Bella up, and she found herself with a meowing snail that called itself Garry. "Spongebob Squarepants!" Bella was extremely confused and hope that Edward would come and save her. But we all know he wouldn't because he cannot read Bella's mind.

"Who are you guys?" asked Bella, "Why can I breathe underwater?" Mind you, Bella is one stupid girl, who forgot she is a vampire that doesn't need to breathe. "Say it! Tell me how I can survive underwater," she demanded.

Garry was shocked at this imposter sleeping in his bed. "Meow," Which in snail language means 'cat noise'. "Meow, meow, meow," giggled Garry.

"Prrrtttt..." did Bella just fart? I think it might have been an anchor, slowly giving Bella a super sized wedgie that gave her raging libido syndrome. "Hello Mr. Pirate," said Bella as she greeted Captain Jack Sparrow, as he had saved her from drowning if she could drown that is.

"Why hello there white one, are you some kind of albino?" asked Jack, "I'm afraid the cannibals would enjoy eating someone as cold and well preserved as you."
Bella chuckled, "eat me? I doubt they'd be able to cut me with a chainsaw," Jack was just a tad confused. "A chainsaw? What is a chainsaw, most cannibals like to just rip you apart with their spears, and I don't actually think I know what a chainsaw is!"

"But we sure do! It's kind of like shark teeth on a thing that spins, destroying everything in its path," announced the narrators. "Thanks," said Jack "So, kind of like a shark on steroids?" he guessed. "Yes, that's right," we said again.

"Who the fuck is that?" exclaimed Bella as she looked into the distance and saw two tiny figures with her immortal eyes. "I can't see nothing," said Jack. "Oh hello there Bella and Jack," said the two tiny figures, "we're the narrators of your adventure Bella, but you can just call us Belinda and Carlina."

We slowly walked up to Bella and Jack, and formally introduced ourselves of the authors of this parody style adventure. "Sometime we like chicken to talk random seesaw and the oak leaf went malteasers to the sausage and out of stapler who saw rotten egg in the night of la push," said Carlina, and I don't think she was totally aware that she was in public. Oh yeah, and although Carlina is also a narrator to this story, she seems a tad out of it so I (Belinda), will take over from here.