I don't own Naruto...sobs...Now that you went and killed my dream! Well lets get a move on.
Rating: T
Pairing: Lee/Gaara
Summary: Lee is being hurt by his family. He was thinking about killing himself for awhile now and tonight seemed as good as any night to do it. So who is the mysterious person who stops the kunai from touching his lonely heart? Who is this Gaara person? What will happen when he takes an interest in Lee's recovery?
Warnings: blood, hate, self-mutilation, character death, mentions of suicide, and rape.
Tonight
Chapter one:
Lee's Pov
I really don't know why it matters where I die; nobody will notice anyway. Nobody ever notices. Not the people who force themselves on me, not the people who say they care, and not the people who look at me before turning away because they do know what s going on but don't know what to do about it. They know what the screams they hear are all about. They know what happens when they ask where I get the bruises from. They know that when I'm bleeding that it's not from training, when have I ever been able to train? They all know, but no one wants to go against a man who has killed hundreds of men and then said that it was their fault and got away with it.
Nobody wants to get in somebody else's business, so I just smile and nod even when all I want to do is cry and ask why. Demand that they help me, that they notice me! That they just look and see what's happening. I try to hate them but it's hard when I really think about it, after all, I'm not their kid, I'm not their trouble, and I don't really want to be, I just want tonight to be it. I just want tonight to end it all. I can't take one more thrust, one more lash, one more punch, one more slap, one more kick, or one more slash. All I can take is one more stab. A stab that I have envisioned for years. I used to want to wait until I was of legal age and just leave to show him I'm better than him but now I don't even care what he thinks, I just want out.
I walk along Kohana's roads and wonder what the Jounin thought of all that's happening; they of all people should know better than anyone. They're trained to see these kind of things, but I guess they have enough problems doing missions to involve themselves with such "trivial" matters. I sigh as I see Kohana's huge lake. I've been here before, when I was but a kid it was the last normal day that I can remember. I was four then, now I'm fifteen. I wonder if I would have waited if it would have made a difference. Probably not; we can't have everything, can we?
I sit down on the edge and let my feet slip beneath the surface just as I hope my body will do as soon as this kunai finishes me off. I want the water to wash away all the hurt, the pain, the sadness, the loneliness, and the tears. I don't really want anyone to remember me, I just want time to cease for me as if I'm frozen. I want to slip beneath this surface and land at the bottom of the lake, to fall through its depths and let my final home know I'm here, finally happy, finally safe, and finally not alone. I'm not sure if anyone will ever find me but if they don't, then that's even better because then I never have to leave my home again.
I raise the kunai and bring it level with my chest. I pull it back and start to plunge it forward when a hand shoots out and grabs my own, preventing my deliverance to the underworld. "Now, shouldn't you be sleeping soundly in your bed at this time of night?" The person asked in a cheery voice. I look over to him but I've never seen him or any of the few people standing back behind him. They must be some Jounin's just coming back from a mission seeing as they're still all in their ninja gear. I snort and tug at my hand hoping to pull free and hurry and finish this. It was starting to get out of control and, damn I should have just done it in the tree in the forest like I had planned last night, but no, I just had to do it here. "Now, now lets be calm, you need to think about what you're doing here kid. What about your parents?" asked the man a little ways from the one still holding tightly to my wrist. I growled getting angry again; what did they know!?
I yanked my hand back with surprising strength, that made the man bending over at the hip trip slightly and land on his knees right in front of me. In a moments notice he was up and his hand stretching out towards mine again. I didn't want him involved again, I just wanted it all to end. I tore out of the clearing and could hear all their feet hitting on the ground, giving chase just behind me. I heard one of the guys curse when I slid into a hollow tree and started to slide down. Then I felt a couple of thumps as they jumped on top and started to race for the end hoping to get there first. No such luck for them, I came out and took off at full speed, which was pretty fast, well as fast as any of the chunin. I hear a man call out for me to stop. As if I was going to do that! I don't even know where I'm
running to, but I know I can't stop. I have to keep running, I have to keep going.
"Hey, why don't you just give up?! You were about to do that anyway weren't you? So just stop being stupid and stop running already! Are you Listening to me?!!" One of the men from behind me shouted. It pissed me off; what did he know about me?! How dare he assume that it was ok or that I had gotten into some little spat! "You ass! What would you know about me?! I'll never give up to you! You no good freaks!" I yell back at them making one of the guys laugh and another sputter.
"Hey, just come on kid let's talk ok, that's it just talk, you know we can keep this up all night but can you?" Another shouted to me as I ducked under another tree and turned to follow the tunnel back and around them. I heard a few growls as I started to hear feet smack on the inside of the rocks coming after me. I thought about hiding, but these are Jounin here; they'd find me within a few minutes! I'm growing a little tired but I know I can go on like this for at least another 3-4 hours. I have no idea what I'm doing, they're going to keep following me, until they catch me and then, they're going to take me back there, to him. I won't go back to him, back to that. I won't
let them send me back to him, I won't be hurt anymore.
I won't take the beatings, I won't take the cuts, I won't take the belittling, I won't take the starvation, I won't take the helplessness, I
won't take the pain, and I won't take the rapes anymore. I won't take people looking down at me, and I wont take help from others, not that they give any to me. The one time I want to be left alone, they try and help, go figure it'd be like this. I don't even know what I'm running from anymore. It can't be just them, they wanted to help me, right? That's what I wanted for so long, so why do I feel like I have to keep running or there won't be a next time, that I have to get away and do what I had come to do or I wouldn't get the chance to do it again. I listen and try to hear how far behind me they are. I don't understand how they hadn't caught me yet. I can't hear anything but my own pounding heart as I run into the opening of the lake again. I see them jump above me and land some 7-10 feet in front of me. I stop and start gasping for air.
I must have been running for awhile now. How much longer can I keep running? How much longer do I have to keep breathing? How much longer do I have to keep trying? How much longer do I have to suffer?! "Why can't you just leave me alone?!" I roar at them. The man that had grabbed my hand before starts to move forward and I can see his face or what's not covered by a mask in
the moonlight. He had grey/white hair. The man following him had some weird bowl cut hair and really big eyebrows! They were three others there too. One with a cigarette, one with a scar covering the left half of his face and one with a needle like thing sticking out of his mouth.
"Come on kid, why don't you tell me what's got you all twisted in a knot, ok. Maybe we can fix it huh. What, you having some friend problems, fighting with your parents? What, give me a hint." The white haired person asked of me. I looked down in my hand to realize I was still clutching the kunai in my hand. Had I had it with me the whole time I had been running?
I look back up at him as he bends to his knees just a few feet away from me. I don't know what to say, not that it's any of his business anyway. I shake my head, "You wouldn't understand, please just go away. Nobody has to know, all you have to do to save me is to turn away right now. Just leave me be." I say as the man narrows an eye at me. He looks creepy. I wonder what he's thinking right now. "Well, why don't you tell me what's the matter and I'll decide if we can help you or not humm? That's fair right to let me decide
what I can or can not do." The man said. I glared at him; he gets to decide what he can and can not do, but I can't decide to do what I want now? Where's the fairness in that?! "You can decide whatever you want but I also decided and you're not going to change that! I don't care what you can or can not do! I don't care, do you hear me?! I don't care! Just leave me alone! Go mess with someone else! Go spread the rumor that the Rock kid lost it and offed himself for all I care! Just leave me alone!" I scream at him. Why won't they go away!
His eye seemed to widen in surprise and a bit of fear as I started to rise the kunai again. He put his hands up in mock surrender, "I wouldn't do that. What you do is your own business, it's just I don't want a guilty conscious later ok, so why do you just come relax at our place and then if you still want to do this tomorrow, we'll talk about it then. Come on kid meet me half way here. I can't just let you kill yourself!" The man in the back said the last part as he moved forward a bit to stand next to the man who was kneeling.
I don't know why I'm even listing to them, I don't know who they are and it doesn't matter. I'm just trying to prolong my time here. Why? Why would I want to do that? After everything I still fear the edge of the blade. Now that I think about it, I had kind of felt a little relief as the hand had grabbed mine earlier. I look up again and see them all standing there in front of me I look at the kunai again. If I don't do this I might not get another chance, I have to do it and I have to do it now! My hand starts to tremble as I try to move it to get it to do as I command! I see the first man's hand reach out, his fingers numbly running slowly up and down my arm making no attempt to take away what's mine. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know what to feel anymore. But all I can feel is his hand running up and down my arm, being joined by the others. I can feel myself trembling all over now. How can they do this, how can they take this last hope away from me?! Why can't I pull away and do as I please? I hate them for this but I hate myself even more.
I'm just standing here and all five of them are surrounding me and just holding me but not one of them has taken the kunai yet. My hand still clenched around it; I want to use it, really I want them to feel a little of my pain, to make them understand, if only a bit. I take the kunai and let it fall into the mans shoulder. I can't believe I just did that. He grunted a little but didn't move nor did he stop rubbing my arm. Why won't they leave?! They should hate me now. I look at the kunai and see a little blood fall from around the blade. I mumble something, maybe an apology, maybe that I hate them; I'm not even sure what I'm thinking anymore let alone saying, he says nothing as my hand reaches out and takes the kunai from his shoulder. I drop the blood marred thing to the floor and one of the others kicked it away. It was about now that I realized just how tired I actually was. And then I let my eyes slide shut hoping they would never open again.
Kakashi's Pov
I sighed as the boy's form slumped onto me, asleep. "Well, that was one way to spend the night." I whispered to my companions as we began our trek home. I had no clue what was going to happen, but at least I would be able to sleep tonight. I felt a finger probe at the wound and smiled, I would have told them it was fine and to leave it if I knew I wouldn't be wasting my breath. They would do as they pleased, and I couldn't be happier about that. I look down at this kid, he looks to have been beaten, and I don't think that could have been from the chase, I'll have to ask later if he opens up to us. I can only hope, that come tomorrow he won't have the guts to do it again, because I don't look forward to spending the next few nights like I did tonight. I would much rather have the brooding kid around, so that I can snuggle up with them. I sigh when I feel arms wrap around my waist, giving silent support to me.
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TBC...
Well, what did you think?? I hope you liked it! It took me three days to do this damn thing! Mostly because I was to lazy to do it all in one day but also because my ideas keep coming and I had to sort through them all... anyways PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! .