Impurities
Authors Note:
This was supposed to be a full-length story, but it ended up as an epic one shot again. Oh well, I do so love these things. It's a LarsaxPenelo and added AshexBasch and BalthierxFran.
Observation:
'Lamont' is horrifyingly close to 'Lament', is it not? Also with the fact that 'Penelo' is so close to 'Penelope'; so, it's like, 'Penelope's Lament'? It's freakishly eerie…
Acknowledgements:
Maria, inspiration about retribution. Yes, we all adore you.
Anna, if you don't get out of my mind yet, I'll kick you out of it.
Edwin, for the songs and for the new CD, I love it!
Scene 1 - Observations
Penelo knew how to dance.
She had been dancing ever since she was born and ever since she first saw her mother crying when her father had left for the war. She had learned how to dance then, and that was how she became the most ravishing and most graceful dancer on the recent Rabanastre streets.
Penelo knew how to fight.
She had first stared at her blood-stained hands seven years ago and she had shook and cried because she had actually killed someone. She was weak before, too frail and innocent to be stained with the horror of murder. But now, she could enjoy the victory with every foe felled. She was not sadistic, she was just used to the way blood splattered her face whenever she impaled an Imperial with her swords.
But there was one thing Penelo didn't know how to do. And that was how to love.
It would be surprising, seeing as if Penelo was that typical teenage woman who flirted with men and knew all the complicated tactics of playing 'hard-to-get' and 'demure-and-docile'. But deep inside, Penelo was not like that. And she remembered that one night seven years ago when Ashe and Fran and she were based on the same tent on the way to Draklor.
It had been night then, and the three women of the group years ago lay in silence in their beds, awake but not talking until Ashe had stirred and directed the most unexpected question that would go out of a princess' lips.
"Penelo, how do you get a… boyfriend?" her unassuming voice had come and Penelo started in the darkness.
"Uh…I don't really know, Ashe. I mean, you don't get one, don't these things just happen? She had stated, wondering why the princess would ask something like that. But Ashe gave thoughtful noise in the dark and Penelo heard Fran's voice.
"Having trouble with the Captain, your majesty?" Fran's murmur could be heard and Penelo had felt Ashe's blankets go in a flurry.
"What-?! How- how dare you assume that…! I would never-! "The princess retorted quite defensively and Penelo had giggled silently at her reaction.
"No need to hide it, Ashe. It's pretty obvious." Penelo had smiled to herself and said matter-of-factly and she felt Ashe's temper subside into an aftermath of a tantrum.
Ashe's blush could be heard. "It is…that blatant, then." Penelo had heard the princess' shy voice come and Penelo nodded.
"Don't worry, you two make a cute couple."
Then the night had been spent in the talking and laughing about early-stages and the awkward silences and the shared experiences that even Fran had been forced to share her current relationship with Balthier. The three had bonded after that, but still, Penelo had only given advice about something she didn't know.
So now Penelo was faced with a situation just like Ashe and Basch's years ago, this time, it was a bit more awkward since Penelo had seen him ever since he was only eye-level with her. But now…
Larsa was probably taller than Ashe, with Penelo only reaching up to his neck at her height. And he had this mature air with him that made her feel decades younger than him. And he had this twinkle in his blue eyes whenever he grinned sharkishly that made Penelo's own eyes widen because she had never seen Larsa so...so expressive and outgoing about…this.
He was courting her.
Because Penelo had stormed into his office and literally kicked Basch out so they could talk properly, and she had gripped Larsa by the collars of his fancy-schmancy clothes and she had demanded what the heck was going on with him.
And Larsa had smiled in his recently annoying way and he said: "I am courting you."
That was when she wanted to run away with her arms flailing in the air and scream and shout "Bloody murder!" Because Larsa was her friend and this could ruin their friendship and mostly because Penelo had seen Larsa run around in his very unique style of poufy sleeves and green leggings, throwing hi-potions left and right and these certainly weren't very nice memories if Larsa was going to court her.
Especially when she could still remember when Larsa had thrown an X-potion her way and it hit her head and she was knocked out for weeks.
That was the time when she woke up to Larsa begging for forgiveness and the endless times he would support her and only her. Penelo still remembered the time Ashe was hit by a Yeti in Paramina but Larsa ignored it and just kept on following Penelo and giving only her, his precious potions.
Penelo always had Larsa there for her, but when they had arrived at the Gran Kiltia's' shrine again and Larsa found out that his father was dead; she was not strong enough to follow him into his room and comfort him. She was not there for him in his time of need.
And now Larsa was back in her life, after 7 long years of just thinking of what had happened: he was back.
Scene 2 - Contemplations
Penelo was used to climbing the Imperial Palace.
She was used to climbing its long walls and she knew where the hedges were that carried her floor to floor to the top. She had always reached his window effortlessly.
And so here she sat, perched on his windowsill, watching him work on his desk, sighing.
He could not see her. It was a one-way direction of sight and Penelo very much wanted to break the glass and burst into the office.
But that was wrong.
They had been together, for how many months? Penelo lost count. They had been happy, content, and he had done something wrong and she had said something wrong and here they were.
Penelo continued to watch him.
Larsa was taller now, but he was also very much tired than before. His eyes closing much more often as if he had nothing to see worthwhile, Larsa was tired.
Penelo did not know what madness drove her to go back to Archadia and its Palace and its Emperor once again. She did not know if her mind was being tortured by the perturbation of missing him or if she was still in love with him.
Penelo was back at Archades, back on his windowsill, watching him work away and watching him slave away.
The pain never hid from her, it was a constant, and as if it was something she was born with. She never tried to hide it either. And Ashe, Vaan, even Fran or Balthier had lent her their shoulders and their handkerchiefs to cry on. But nothing compared to his comfort, his smile, his warmth.
Penelo sat on his windowsill in the rain that now started to pour, and she knew she would have to leave.
She jumped and fell down the endless floors of the palace, the rain falling with her as she felt the wind swathe her. She landed softly on her feet and walked slowly away from the palace. She would probably not go there anymore.
She stopped to look back, her eyes vulnerable and open. Good-byes were hard, especially if they weren't heard
Especially if it was for someone who had already barred their windows with steel.
Scene 3 - Conclusion
Penelo had never felt anything so painful.
Something excruciatingly hurtful and agonizing that seared through her bones and tore through her, It was so painful.
And she was powerless.
Powerless to stand, she couldn't recognize the people hovering above her, the voices frantic against her ears. It was all a dim buzz of ambience; the crackling of the inner fire consumed it all, engulfing her.
So this is death?
Penelo asks herself as she closes her eyes for the last time, the edges of the darkness spiral into her, and she dies.
Scene 4 - Waiting
Penelo had never felt so much regret.
She regretted dying, regretted being weak, for giving up without a fight.
Her grave was in the gardens of Ashe's palace, for her friendship was the best anyone could give.
And Fran took time visiting it, making sure it was clean, fresh flowers every day.
Vaan was always there, she was his best friend, she was his only family left and she had left him all alone. She regretted this.
Balthier had left his handkerchief on her grave, with his casual smile.
Basch would frown at her and shake his head, but there was a time he laughed softly at her. And Penelo finally knew she was forgiven.
But he never visited.
For days and days she waited, her spirit lingering in the gardens. And Ashe and the others had felt it ever so often. They had taken to talking to her, though she did her best to not reply. It was wrong.
He never came.
She waited for so many days. The leaves bloomed and shone and froze and fell so many times that she had given up in watching them.
Then one morning, he came.
It was still the time for winter and the snow caught on his eyelashes as he walked ever so slowly towards her grave. She listened to his footsteps, slow, and soft against the snow that fell over the gardens.
He came and he stood over the place where she lay, dead.
She did not speak. It was wrong.
So he spoke instead, his soft blue eyes as vulnerable as hers directed to the wind. His whisper was unheard, yet still, she heard his words.
"Let's not dwell on the wrong, Penelo."
And he smiled and walked away, his footsteps staining the snow.
Author's Second Note:
Sad. I love sad love stories. But I never understood why I don't write happy endings. It's bad, huh? Still, I want to thank all the LarsaxPenelo fans for their wonderful world of unfair and star-crossed love. It's brought some meaning into my head, you know? And also I need to praise Mariagoner for her awesome Lanelo pieces, I love it so much, Maria!
If you guys didn't understand what happened to Penelo, she dies of some disease that hit her when she was falling from the Palace. Who said colds aren't deadly?
PLAYLIST:
Scene 2 & 3– Tonight by Boyce Avenue
Scene 4 – Can't Cry Hard Enough (Bellefire Version)
Scene 1 – any soft music XD