Angela was sitting in her office, sketching absent mindedly in her sketchbook. They didn't have a case today and she seemed to be lacking any profound ideas for a painting, so she decided to enjoy a little peace and quiet for awhile, but now she was getting bored. Just as she was about get up to go visit Micheal and Hodgins in daycare Brennan walked in.
"Hi, sweetie, what are you going here?"
"I find that I am concerned about something that I think I shouldn't."
"What is it?"
"It is not a what, it is a who. It is Sweets. Booth told me that he is living in his office because he broke up with Miss Wick and gave her their apartment."
"Well that is rather..concerning. Bren, sweetie. Have you talked to him?" Angela pushed the sketch pad off of her lap, looking her best friend up and down.
"No, it's irrational to be worrying about because he is a grown man, so I didn't speak to him. Should I?" Brennan bit her lip, it would have been barely noticeable to anyone but Angela.
"No, no, you don't have to. I know how much you hate dealing with matters of the heart." Angie smiled sweetly, pushing out of her chair. "That's my department."
"Are you saying you will be go to talk to Sweets?" Brennan stated, less like a question and more like an order.
"Well sure, honey, I'll go talk tot he kid. I'm sure he'll be right as rainbows when I'm done!" Angela giggled, putting her hands on her hips.
"I don't know what that means..." The anthropologist trailed off, looking at her friend.
"Never mind, sweetie, is Sweets in his office?" Angie smiled, and Brennan nodded.
"Great, see you later, Brennan." Angela said before walking out of the building. She headed over to the FBI building to Sweets office. She looked in the window and saw Sweets feet hanging over the edge of the couch. Angela shook her head slightly and knocked on Sweets' door.
"I'm not here."
"I can see you in there, sweetie, and you clearly just answered me." When all she got in response was silence she knocked on the door again before entering the room.
"Should I be concerned that you actually knocked on my door?"
"Don't make this visit about me Sweets. You are living in your office. Wearing sweatpants... Should I be concerned about YOU?" Angela asked as she walked over and sat in the chair across from the couch.
"This seems backwards." Sweets sighed, swinging his feet to the floor so he could sit up.
"That's because sometimes the helper needs some helping." Angela insisted, crossing her arms.
"I don't need any helping. I'm fine, really." Lance tried to keep his voice level, professional. He didn't feel like talking, even if he knew he needed to, but his psychologist pride kept his mouth shut.
"I don't need any special magical training to know that was a lie." The artist huffed, not breaking eye contact. She was determined to knock him off his feet just long enough to figure somethings out. "Let's start simple, why are you sleeping in your office?"
"I assume you already know why or you wouldn't be here." Countered the young man, he was keeping his defenses high.
"Yeah, I might, but I want you to tell me, sweetie." The woman gave him a helpful nod and a grin.
"Is it really that important that I say it?" Sweets huffed, crossing his arms stubbornly.
"You know as well as I do that you need to say the words. Out loud." The artist pointed a wagging finger at the psychologist. She would break him eventually.
"Well I'll have that am living here because I... I br- I-I... I bro- I-." Sweets started saying firm and level before he started to stutter and his voice started to crack. He could almost feel the tears coming on but he held them back. It was bad enough that Angela was seeing him like this, vulnerable and weak. He was sure he already looked like a wreak in sweats with messy hair and bloodshot eyes. He couldn't let her see him cry, not now.
"You...?" Angela nodded at him to tell him to finish his statement.
He turned his dark eyes to meet hers, he gave the best glare he could manage. Sweets really didn't want to hurt her, he just wanted he to go, he didn't want to look weak. She held his gaze, returning one with equal force. "I..Daisy...we.." He gulped back his voice, leaning his head back. He closed his eyes taking a slow breath. Clearing his mind he went through the textbook in his head, he remembered the chapter on how to distance himself, speak without emotion. "Daisy and I have broken up." His voice was still, even with textbook perfection. Angela nodded, waiting for him to continue but he kept his mouth closed.
"Oh, you gave her the apartment?" Angela was quiet, kind, sisterly to the man before her. She could see how hurt he was as he nodded, looking to the floor. Pulling a shaky hand through his coffee brown hair, he turned his eyes back to her and smiled.
"Yea, I mean I broke up with her so it was only fair." Came his cheerful voice, Sweets kept a soft smile on his lips.
"You broke up with her?" Angie questioned, watching the man nod she sighed. "And your just fine?"
"Yes." Sweets said, nodding firmly.
"Don't lie to me, Sweets." Angela stated putting her hands on her hips.
"L-lie?" Sweets stuttered before clearing his throat and refocusing. "Why would you think I'm lying?"
"Sweetie, just look at yourself." Angela gestured to the man."You really think your okay?"
"I-I'm fine. Really. J-just fine." Sweets said fiddling with his thumbs in his lap before shaking himself. He couldn't break. The psychologist could feel his emotions swelling up behind his walls, threatening to break through. He couldn't break, not now and not in front of Angela.
"You may be able to tell when people are lying.." Angela eyed the man. "But you certainly are a horrible liar yourself."
"I-I'm not..ly..lying!" Sweets gulped, cringing under her gaze. The tears stung his eyes and he bit his tongue trying desperately to hold himself together.
"I'm here to help you, Lance.." Angela made her voice even quieter, gentler she really just wanted to help the poor man. At the sound of his name the man finally cracked, a tear falling from his eye. Sweets squeezed his eyes shut, Daisy's happy voice echoing in his mind 'My Lance-a-lot!" She'd say, and he missed her so desperately it hurt in his throat. Soon another tear broke his glass barrier, and he felt himself loosing this battle.
"I'm fine!" He cried at her, the tears itching on his cheeks. "I'm fine..." The doctor whispered to himself.
"No, Sweetie, your not, but it's okay..." Angela spoke softly to the young man. She watched tears drip off of his face and onto the floor. The artist watched the young doctor slowly start to unravel in front of her and her face took on a look of sympathy.
"I-I'm fine... I'm f-fine..." Sweet muttered, clenching his eyes shut. He tried to stop the tears but they just kept coming, no matter how much he willed them away. His mind flashed with a wave of thoughts about Daisy and he started to cry more. "I-I'm f-fine."
"Sweets..." Angela leaned forward slightly to get closer to him.
"I'm f-fine! I just... I-I just..."
"You just...?" Angela whispered, softly putting a hand on Sweets slightly shaking shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.
"I hate this.." Sweets voice was desperate. "I hate feeling alone all the time...I don't want to feel like this!" He'd begun to sound like a little boy, crying to Angela. She knew he didn't want to tell her, she heard to pauses in his voice but he needed to.
"It's the price you pay for finding love, sometimes it doesn't work." Angela smiled, putting her hand on the weeping mans knee. He shook his head slowly, trying to gain control of his tears. He hated himself for crying in front of her, he hated that she wanted to hear why he was sad, he hated the feeling s he had.
"It's so not worth it.." He stammered, feeling overwhelming hate rise up in his throat, it jetted through his body. The anger and frustration coupled with sadness sent a storm through his body, a horrible,deadly storm. "I felt this way enough to know it's not worth it."
"Oh my... Sweatie, you know that's not true... It is worth it... Sweets. Sweets." Angela said trying to gain Sweets attention. She shook his leg ever so slightly.
"Don't, Angela! Just... Just don't..." Sweets tried to cover his face with one hand as he tried to use the other to remove her hand. He was so angry, so sad, he couldn't deal with it. He was startled when he suddenly felt a hand grab his chin and point his head forward.
"Sweets, look at me." Angela stated gently, looking right at him. He opened his watery eyes and blinked away a few tears. Suddenly his anger had diminished and only sadness took its place.
"I miss her!" Sweets bawled, suddenly sweeping Angela into an unexpected hug.
The woman was a bit shocked but slowly she wrapped her arms around the young man. She pulled him tight and whispered. "I know, sweetie, I know. You'll get through this, you'll meet someone better."
"There is no one better..." He whispered back, pulling from the hug. He looked away, and to the floor of his office. "She knew me, the real me, and she stayed. Daisy stayed after...after she found out all my secrets, she must have been so stressed!" He pressed his hands to the side of his head, pulling his knees up to his chest. Sweets clawed his finger nails into his skin, trying to stop himself from talking. "It was so unfair...I never treated her the way she deserved, it wasn't fair. I put so much on her and I just...It wasn't fair..."
"Sweets... Sweetie, stop your hurting yourself." Angela said softly, prying his hands from his head. "Sweets... Sweets look at me."
"I-it wasn't fair!" He cried, looking to the woman across from him. "It wasn't fair... I-I wasn't fair... I... I was a horrible boyfriend... I-"
"Sweets, stop talking like that!" Angela raised her voice at him. She wasn't going to let him beat himself up.
"Wh-what?" Sweets blinked at her, startled slightly by her tone.
"You were a good boyfriend, I'm sure you were!" She stated firmly, looking into his eyes. Looking up at her, she felt a pang in her chest, he looked so much like her own baby boy at home.
"You don't know that, you couldn't possib-" He began put was halted by the look in the woman's eyes.
"You are a good man, so I know you'd be a good boyfriend." Angela smiled gently, but that caused bitter joy to rise in Lance's chest.
"That's doesn't even make sense..." He cried, looking down, unable to meet her strong eyes.
"It doesn't have to make sense to be true, sweetie..." Angela tilted her head in an attempt to look at his face. "Your a great guy, Sweets, you ju-"
"You don't know, Angela! You don't know that! You just... Just... You don't know." Sweets snapped at her slightly, shaking his head through his tears. "You don't know."
"I don't have to. You and Daisy dated for a long time. You were even engaged once, Daisy clearly saw something in you that you seem to be blind to... Your were a good boyfriend to her. If you weren't, you would have been splitsville a long time ago." Angela smiled at him, trying to look reassuring even though he couldn't see her.
"That doesn't mean I was a good boyfriend. she might have just been trying to like.." He gulped back his tears trying to get a hold of himself. "Trying to fix me or whatever!" He sighed, closing his eyes. He began to feel guilt rise past all his sadness, and then anger at himself.
"She might have, but I doubt it!" Angela pleaded with him, trying to make him feel even a little better. "Your a smart guy, and you are sweet, and nice, and you care about people, there's no reason Daisy wouldn't thick your a total catch! Hell, I think your a total catch." She smiled kindly, keeping her voice light.
"You'd make a better shrink then me..." Sweets groaned, covering his face with his hands.
"Sweets, you know that's not true... Your good at your job, you know that." Angela tried to keep her voice reassuring but sadness was starting to seep into her tone. She hated seeing Sweets like this. Sweets felt his guilt and anger swell. He was hurting his friend. He should be able to control himself, he was a psychologist after all!
"No... I- I can't. I talk about this anymore. I-I can't..." Sweets felt tears starting to collect his hands. "I can't... It's to hard... I can't..."
"You have to try, Sweets. Not for me, but for yourself." Angela said, patting him on the knee. "I know this is hard... You've just ended your first real relationship. It's okay to be a little upset. It's practically a rule!"
"I can't believe I let myself care about someone this much.." He scolded himself, Angela's worry grew with his words.
"Let yourself?..." She asked, watching his eyes begin to tear up again.
"I..I decided after my...parents d-died that I'd stop caring so much about people..." He admitted in a weak voice, he was growing annoyed with himself for admitting so much to her. "I can't take this pain.."
"No, no Sweets! You have to know that's a bad idea..." She watched as he shook his head, feeling tears sting her own eyes. "Caring about people is natural, even Brennan knows that..."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore..." He pleaded with her, his voice whining. He turned his chocolate colored eyes to her and she saw it again, the little boy in his look, the little boy who need a family.
"Sweets... Please... Just... Oh Sweets... I know you don't want to... But you can't just... I don't know how you can think that... Caring for people is a bad thing..." Angela said, shaking her head slowly. She felt hot tears roll down her cheeks. Suddenly she felt a hand on her face.
"Your crying. Angela, please don't cry. I'm sorry I said anything. Please don't cry, I'm sorry." Sweets said quickly, before realizing he had his hand on her face. He quickly removed his hand, muttering another apology.
"Don't cry?" She stared at him, eyes wide. "But your crying!" She took his hand in hers, concerned.
"I know, I'm sorry..I shouldn't..I'm sorry..." He stuttered, looking at his legs, shaking his head.
"Don't apologize so much..." She laughed, feeling tears come into her eyes again. "Sweets, you have to care about people...you just have to!"
"I never said I didn't. I care about people but I don't want to... Y'know... CARE about them. When you care about people you get close to them and when you get close..." Sweets shook his head and took his hand from her. He pulled his knees up to his face and cried silently.
"Oh God, sweetie, you really are heartbroken..." Angela said softly while she patted his leg.
"It's better to distance yourself, well myself..." He trailed off, and she looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "I'm not strong enough to have anyone depend on me, I'm not strong enough to be someone's ,what do they call it? Other half?" He grumbled, pushing his hand through his hair again.
"What do you mean, sweetie?" Angela leaned forward, looking at him. She saw how broken he was and it made her want to cry again.
"I'm... I'm weak. I have always been weak. I'm not strong enough to support another person... I'm weak. I broke up with her but I'm so weak that my heart has been completely crushed... I'm not strong enough to... To love someone like that... Not again... I can't... I'm not strong enough... I'm too weak.." Sweets looked up at Angela with tearful eyes. "Angela your crying again..."
"A-am I?" She chuckled, then looked at him. "You aren't weak, Sweets. You...you can love some one you can, you just have to have time to heal.." she began but he shook his head violently.
"No! I won't!" He rose his voice, he didn't mean to startle her, but he was so hurt. "I don't want to love someone like that ever again..my entire happiness invested in them, I never want to do that..."
"What are you saying?" Angela's voice was heavy with concern.
"I'm saying that... That I don't want to be in love with with someone like again... I won't... I CAN'T!" Sweet shouted a little louder than he had intended. "I can't. Not again. I can't keep feeling like this... I-I can't." Sweets hung his head and let a few more tears slid down his face.
"Oh, Sweets, you say that now... But give it time." Angela said giving Sweets a sad smile as she lifted his head up so he would look at her. "You can't get through life alone, Sweets. Everyone needs someone..."
"No..Angela..No..." He pulled his head away, he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "I-I'm sorry..I just." He took a deep, wavering breath and coughed a little from all his crying. "I don't ever want to be in love again." He stated finally, more tears filling his eyes.
"Your still young, Sweets. In a few months, maybe a year or so you'll meet someone you really care about, You'll love again.." Angela smiled, but Sweets shook his head.
"No. I won't ever love anyone again. I don't WANT to, I'm too fragile for love." Sweets said while he tried to shake the tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry about dumping all this on you, Angela... acting like this... I should be able to control myself better..." Sweet said, running a hand through his messy mop of curls. "I'm trained to deal with this kind of thing... And I made you cry... I'm sorry." Sweets mumbled while he tried with little success to straiten himself out.
"Sweetie, your hurting. Even if you are a psychologist, everyone needs to vent a little." Angela smiled at him, still thinking of how young he looked. "It's human nature, you should know that." she tried to make him smile, but she barely got a glimmer of recognition from his eyes.
"I know I should... And I do... I'm just sorry you had to see me like this." The young psychologist said with a shuddering breath as he finally managed to stop crying. "You have more important things to deal with. Micheal starts preschool in another year or so right?"
"Uh, yeah.." Angela paused, shaking her head. "Don't turn this around with like reverse psychology or whatever!"
"That is not the proper use of that term.." Sweets shook his head, exasperated.
"Honey, are you saying you are done caring about people?" Angela asked hesitantly, watching the man before her.
"I'm saying that I don't want to... But I like to help people, y'know? If I start to care too much then... That's my own fault." At this point Sweets had slipped into his professional persona, completely strait faced.
Angela stared at him, he was doing it again she knew. Blocking out the world, his thoughts, burying himself a way. "Don't say it like that, like its your fault. I mean it's not a bad thing.." She paused, a thought dancing its way into her speech. "What..what about all of us at the Jeffersonian?"
"I thought you were going ask that." Sweets said, flinching visibly. "I... I can't say I don't care. I can try pretend I don't... But you guys have became... Like friends to me." Sweets said before he started to scold himself internally letting her back in. He needed to learn to distance himself better. They would hurt him, like his relationship with Daisy had in the end.
Angela saw something in his face, something she couldn't name. "Sweets...You know you can trust us?"
"Honestly?" Sweets asked, concerned. She nodded, looking at him with hopeful eyes. "I wish I could say yes, but I've learned that you can't always trust people..." He tried to keep a professional tone, but he heard his own voice crack on the word 'trust'.
"Sweets..." Angela squeaked, shaking her head. That wasn't the answer she was hoping for. The artist felt a pang in her chest and tears started to glisten in her eyes.
"Oh crap, I'm sorry Angela! Don't cry, I didn't mean it, honest! I'm just... I'm just uh..." Sweets tried to say something that he thought would comfort the woman but came up blank. "I'm sorry."
"You shouldn't be sorry for being honest I just.." She cleared her throat, blinking her eyes to keep the tears at bay. "I just want you to trust me, because I..I trust you.." She smiled, and the psychologist stared at her in disbelief.
"You do?" He paused, fighting another wave of tears. "I'm so sorry...I'm just...I'm just damaged goods, ya know?"
"Sweets..." Angela said shaking her head. "Don't say that. You aren't damaged, your just a guy with issues."
"Thank you." Sweet remarked sarcastically with a slight eyeroll. "I'm a psychologist with issues, yay me!" He twirled his fingers around in mock celebration.
Angela couldn't help but grin as she looked at the ground, shaking her head. "Your a guy with a past, just like very other guy. Though, yours might be more..how do I put this, dramatic? Tragic? Ah, either way theres someone out there who'll love every part of you, past, present and future." She looked back up at him and smiled. "Everyones got scars, sweetie."
It took all Sweets will power to not flinch when she said that. He put a small smile on his face. "I guess you have a point. If no one had issues I'd be out of a job, huh?" Sweets decided to glaze over what she had said about love. In hopes of changing the subject. "So... How is little Micheal?"
"Oh he's so cute! He's making these sounds likes he's trying to say 'ma ma' and wait..." Angela had a silly grin on her face but she narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you trying to throw me off topic by using my son? That's low, man..." She joked.
"It was worth a shot." Sweets said with a shrug. "But he does sound pretty cute..." The young man said in a last ditch effort to change the subject.
"That's not going to work this time, baby boy shrink." Angela said, giving Sweets a firm poke to the chest. Sweets gave a sheepish shrug in response. "Look, sweetie, you can talk to me! You might think I would try hurt you-"
"You wouldn't try to hurt me.." He corrected on instinct, but his face flushed pink and he avoided looking at Angela. "I sound so dramatic.." He sighed.
"That's okay, sweetie, because something pretty dramatic happened." She paused, trying to get him to turn his head. "You've been through a lot, I can't even imagine what your life is like or how you feel, you always keep things to yourself and it's gonna eat you up. We are your friends, all of us, even if you can't trust us yet, we still trust you. You'll learn to care again..." She smiled but he shook his head, managing to look at her making his eyes hard, and unloving.
"I don't want to love again, I can't.." He stated, looking at her, she opened her mouth to argue but the sadness in is face stopped her. She stared at him, his deep eyes breaking her heart as she looked at him.
"Oh Sweets-" Angela started before Sweets cut her off.
"It's fine, really. I'll be fine!" Sweets said painting a smile in his face, hoping it would be enough for her to drop the subject. He really didn't want to to talk to Angela but she was so persistent and even if he didn't want to, he trusted her a little bit. The young man really wanted the conversation to end, he felt guilty for dumping all this on her and angry at himself for letting her in. He could trust her right? Then again Angela did tend to be kind of... Gossipy. What if she told someone?
He sat there on the couch, panicking a little. His breathing got forced, and his eyes were wider, Angela noticed. "Sweetie, are you alright?" Sweets shook his head yes over and over, but she knew. "Your freaking out...why?"
"No reason... 'Cause I'm not even freaking out. I'm just sitting here. Don't know what your calling about." Sweet had realized that he was being to ramble and quickly stopped speaking. She wouldn't tell anyone right? Well maybe Hodgins or Brennan...
"Honey, you are a horrible liar." Angela said, her tone kind and understanding. Something about that made Sweets' stomach role, he didn't want to be helped. He was the helper, he couldn't help people if he was this big of a mess after a simple break up. His mind spun with all his locked up thoughts.
"Sweets... Sweets... Sweets!" Angela said, trying to get Lance's attention. Right now Sweets was sitting there with a dazed and zoned out look on his face and she didn't like it one bit. "Sweets... Lance." Angela murmured, putting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to anchor him down to the real world.
Sweets felt her hand, but her voice sounded distant. His thoughts were spiraling out of control, he couldn't keep anything straight. Memories of his parents, and of Daisy swung in his mind's eye. "Yeah.." He said, his voice barely a whisper, he couldn't make it any louder. His mind was running at hyper speed and he couldn't control it.
"Sweetie, talk to me. What's wrong? Are you okay..." Angela was basically pleading with the young man at this point.
"No... No I can't... I can't..." Sweets said in a strangled whisper, try to shake his thoughts from form his head.
"Why? Why can't you?" Angela asked while she tightened her grip on the man ever so slightly.
"Because I'm the one people are supposed to talk to!" He finally admitted, looking at the floor in embarrassment. "What the point in having a psychologist who's depressed?" Angela stared at him, but he couldn't look at her.
"Sweets, look at me."Angela said softly before frowning when he continued to stare at the ground. "Sweets. Look at me. Now." Angela demanded in a soft yet firm voice, her eyes boring forward towards Sweets.
Slowly the psychologist pulled his gaze from the ground, turning his eyes to the woman. He had no more tears to cry, so his eyes burned with his sadness. "I...I'm sorry, Angela..."
"You shouldn't be sorry for being human." She whispered, feeling her throat tense up at the look of pain on his face. He'd become a friend to her, someone she cared about deeply, and she hated seeming him hurting.
"Well I'm still sorry... I-I never should have said anything. You have other things to deal with. You have a family... I'm sure little Micheal is missing is mama right about now." Sweets said with a small smile. "You should go and see your family. I'll be fine here. You go."
"I'm not going anywhere.." Angela began to defend herself, she wanted to help him. Something about his tone made her want to leave, some desperate note in his voice made her feel like she needed to go. Something messed up was going on in his head, she knew that, and she wanted to help.
"Really, Angela, it's unfair of me to keep you here." Sweets nodded, giving a plastered on smile. "You have a family after all, no ones expecting me home, so you should go.."
"I just want to help you, hon." Angela said with a sad smile on her face. "And Micheal will be fine with his Daddy for now. I just want to help you. You can trust me, Sweets." Angela smiled at him and patted one of his hands. All she wanted to do was help him. He looked so... Helpless and alone like an abandoned child. She just wanted to help him.
"I know I can I'm just..." He let out a sigh while a bitter smile was on his face. "I'm scared. I've not had the best experiences with people." He laughed, but Angela's look was somber, silent, and he began shifting in his seat. Sweets felt more and more uncomfortable telling her how he felt.
"Sweetie, you don't have to be scaried or nervous. I'm not going to hurt you." Angela said with a sad voice.
"Not on purpose! You would never hurt me on purpose, your too sweet a person to do that, but hurting me accidentally is a whole other thing!" Sweets said, scooting back in his seat on the couch so that she couldn't touch him. He had to make himself distant and he couldn't do that if she kept comforting him. He really just wanted to be alone so he could sort himself out.
"What's going on with you honey?" Angela's worry was growing with every movement the psychologist made. He just shook his head, he wanted to ignore his feelings, just push them away. He always did that, it was how he had lived. He'd never had friends like this before, he was nervous to have people be able to hear everything he felt. He was to broken for that. Sweets looked at the artist for a moment, guilt building up.
"Nothing... Nothing at all. I-I'll be fine really. Don't worry about me..." Sweets said, his eyes shifting back and forth. "You can go... A-and you won't tell anyone about what I said... R-right?" Sweets bit his lip and looked down. He hoped she wouldn't be offended. He didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"I...I can't promise that sweets.." she said feeling guilty, his face fell as he nodded. "Some of the stuff you said... its kind of scary and I don't know if I can handle it alone. I can't imagine what its like your head.."
"You have no idea.." he sighed, he understood its like the rule psychologist's have to live by: if the patient is a danger to themselves or others legally they must share that information.
"I just want to help you. I just want to talk." Angela said, watching Sweets carefully as he shook his head.
"I can't! Not now." Sweet said while he shook his head and clenched his eyes shut. "I can't. No."
"Why not, sweetie?" Angela asked, a worried frown on her face.
"'Cause you'll tell! You'll tell Dr. Brennan and Hodgins! And Hodgins will tell the interns and Cam and Dr. Brennan will tell Agent Booth! Then everyone knows and I have a bunch of people treating me like a little kid. Even more then usual, anyway. I-" the young psychologist realizes he had already said to much and decided to shut his mouth before said anything else.
"You what?" Angela whispered looking at him. He shook his head and she needed to push, he needed to talk. "Maybe its better they know, sweetie. We are your friends we want to know when your hurting. We want to help..." she smiled looking at him "What were you going to say?"
"No. It's not better they know. They have been fine not knowing for years and they will continue to be fine not knowing... And I'll be fine to! I'm a grown man, Angela. I'll be fine. I can't talk about this anymore. I won't." Sweets said, crossing his arms stubbornly. He couldn't talk to her, she would tell them all.
"Y-years..." she repeated, her voice trembling with the horrifying fact. The fact she had never noticed his pain. This time she turned her gaze away as tears began flowing down her cheeks.
"Woah! Your crying. Your crying. Why are you crying, Angela! Please don't cry. I'm sorry, please don't cry." Sweets slipped forward and leaned towards her. He flinched. He must have said something wrong. "Don't cry, Angela. It's okay."
Its not okay!" She said louder then she wanted and the therapist flinched. "Its not...you've been hurting and been through so much and we call ourselves your friends...and
.and we didn't notice?" She looked at him with watery eyes, her cheeks fiery under her tears.
"It's okay, Angela, you couldn't have possibly known. It's not your fault." Sweets put on his best attempt at a comforting smile and put a hand on her shoulder. "There was no way for you to know. It's okay." He really felt bad now. A sense of intense guilt washed over him. He had hurt his friend.
"But you always know when we are hurting and try to help...I see when Brennans worried." She gasped, putting her hands over her mouth as a realization hit her. "Maybe, subconsciously we were ignoring it or something horrible!" She turned to him shaking her head "oh I'm so sorry Sweets..."
"Oh no, no no no no. No." Sweets shook his head and gestured for her to stop speaking. "This is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, subconscious or otherwise. You have nothing to apologize for. I only ever let you see what I wanted you to see. If anything it's my fault. You have nothing to be sorry for." Sweets smiled at her, hoping it might cheer the artist up.
Angela turned her tearful eyes to him and crossed her arms. "Sweets you are very secretive." She announced with annoyance and he sighed nodding.
"Well... I can't say I'll change Angela. It's kind of how I work, but I'll tell you what, the next time I am homeless and just broke up with my girlfriend, I'll give you a call." Sweets said, earning a flat look from Angela.
"Smartass." Angela remarked, continuing to give a flat look.
Sweets shrugged giving her a small smile, Angela bit her lip to stop her own grin from showing. "I'm just kind of screwed up." He gave another shrug, leaning back he crossed his legs. "Don't you think is missing you?"
Angela knew that stance, it was his shrink stance. She narrowed her eyes at him playfully. "I guess so. Granted he is with little Micheal so he is probably pretty occupied." She crossed her legs as well and took on her own 'shrink stance.' "What about you? Shouldn't you be working... Or finding a place to bathe? You kinda smell like BO." She joked with a smirk on her face.
"Hey hey, play nice." He put his hands up in mock surrender "I haven't been sleeping much so I got a lot of my work done. The bathing thing is still an issue..yeah." he smiled, giving a nonchalant shrug. "How have you been feeling lately? With Booth and Brennan having a child, the group dynamic must be changing." He was trying to push the topic from himself, taking on his professional tone.
"You know just as well as I do that we all love Christine and know that whole... Brennan being a fugitive thing is over... HEY! You did it again! Using children to change the topic. Shame on you." Angela poked him in the shoulder, a playful smirk resuming its place on her face.
"I have no idea what your talking about." Sweets said, shaking his head with a small smile playing on his lips.
"So what's this about you not sleeping?"Angela asked with a raised eyebrow.
"O-oh that..." Sweets sighed, scolding himself silently for mentioning it. "Uh like, work and stuff?...yeah work.." He rambled on, looking away he cursed under his breath for being such a bad liar.
"Really? Your trying to lie yo me again?" Angela let out a sigh of exasperation.
"I just have insomnia or something...nightmares all that. I'm fine don't worry" sweets smiled, waving his hand to dismiss it.
"Nightmares?" Angela asked, concern lacing her voice.
"Yeah... Nothing too bad. Just little ones." Sweet held two fingers apart as he talked. "Tiny. Nothing to worry about." The young man waved his hand again, as if it would wave away his words.
"About...about what sweetie?" She paused looking at him. Every time he revealed something more she felt the need to help grow inside her. Angela had never really seen how broken he was until now, and she was scared.
"About... Stuff." Sweets said lamely, looking right at the artist.
"Stuff?" Angela said flatly.
"Stuff."
"What kind of... Stuff?"
"Just stuff... Y'know, 'bout Daisy and m-my p-p-" Lance pressed his lips together, indicating that he was done with the conversation.
"Okay..." Angela nodded by the look in her eyes was clear. 'This conversation wasn't over,'
"Yeah...so you should be going soon, huh?" Sweets put on his perfect smile and Angela felt a twinge of sadness.
"Hmmm... No. I think I'll stay here. It's nice to get away for abit..." Angela said while glancing sideways. "Plus you got all these cool toys!" She said picking a squishy sumo wrestler up and throwing it at him.
"They aren't toys! They are nick-nacks!" He said catching the sumo and throwing it back.
"Whatever makes you feel good." She giggled catching the sumo, she kept a careful eye on the man before her. Tossing it back she saw a large smile spread over his features, he looked like a beaming little boy.
Sweets caught the sumo and squeezed it with a smirk. He then preceded to wind up and the throw toy as hard as he could. The artist ducked to avoid getting beamed by the sumo.
"I win." Sweets gave her a cheeky grin.
"Win? We weren't playing a game!" Angela laughed, shaking her head at him.
"Well then it shows you for making fun of my nick-nacks." Sweets joked, sticking his tongue out.
"Fine, fine. I'm sorry!' She laughed taking in the site of Sweets. She decided this was her favorite moment with him, he looked so young and full of life, happy and laughing. Sweets noticed her staring and got a little confused.
"Do I have something on my face?" Sweets said, impulsively rubbing his face. Angela laughed shaking her head no. "Then why are you looking at me?"
"I'm sorry... You just... Look so happy." Angela said, smiling at him. "You look really happy. I like it."
"Glad to know you don't like seeing me miserable." Sweets joked with small chuckle."and uh... Angela?"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Do I- uh... Do I really smell like BO?" Sweets asked sheepishly, a blush brushing over his cheeks.
Angela couldn't help but giggle. "Oh no, no, no! Sweetie, you don't but a shower might do you some good...you look a little homeless." She smiled at him again.
"Well I am a little homeless." He grinned at her.
"Again. Smartass." Angela said pointing at him in mock anger. Sweets shrugged playfully. "Tell you what, why don't you and me get out of here for abit? Maybe grab a bite and something to drink?"
"Uh, thanks, Angela, but no thanks. I'm not really... Suited to go out. Like you said. I look a little homeless." Sweets said grinning sheepishly. "But you could head on out if you want."
"Have you even left your office lately?" Angela questioned, not being able to keep the smile of her face. Lance stared at her, feeling a little to open with her in the first place.
"I mean I..well I've just been busy and..." Sweets rambled on, looking away from her.
"Sweets? We gotta get you out of this office, or your gonna end up being the crazy one." She smiled shaking her head.
"I can't! I'm wearing sweat pants and t-shirt! I- I haven't showered in nearly three days! What am I supposed to do? Take a sink shower in bathroom down the hall?" Sweets asked, exasperated.
Angela started laughing at his desperation. Sweets stared at her with wide eyes, he was bewildered by the artists actions. "Why don't you just come home with me and take a shower?"
"Oh no no no. I couldn't do that." Sweets said, shaking his head rapidly. "I do appreciate the offer though." Sweets smiled shyly at her, a blush spread a cross his face.
"You need a place to live..." Angela insisted.
"I've got a place." Sweets said with a grin, expanding his arms to motion to the office. Angela shook her head with a sigh.
"But uh... Tell you what. Give me fifteen minutes to become presentable and we can head out, yeah?" Sweet said with a smile. He figured it was the least he could do, even if he didn't want to admit it, talking had helped a little.
"Well..." she slapped her hands on her knees and smiled. "Alright, I'll go make small talk with some scary looking agents!" She grinned, as she stood up and made her way to the door.