Title: Fighter
Author: Lucy Mars
Spoilers: Just to be safe everything.
Disclaimer: Nope, last time I checked, they still don't belong to me. ;]
*Okay, you're right. I am an evil, sadistic person for not posting the next chapter of Dark Depths. But please try and bear with me as I suffer through some awful writers block. It'll be out soon. Until then, hope you can chew on this while you wait, oh, oh so patiently. ;]
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Chapter #1:
"Advil?"
"What?" CJ asked looking up from her laptop and finding an ashen looking Donna standing at her door.
"Advil." Donna repeated clutching CJ's door frame.
"Are you okay?" CJ asked getting up and pulling Donna down onto her couch.
"I just need some Advil." Donna sighed sinking into CJ's couch.
Putting her hand against Donna's flushed forehead, CJ felt a frown spread across her tired face. "You're warm."
"I'm fine." Donna said obviously not fine.
"You should be at home. Resting." CJ pointed out, "It's past midnight. What are you doing here."
"Work." Donna shrugged trying to get back onto her feet. "Josh needs the thing for tomorrow.
Watching Donna sway on her feet, CJ grabbed her hand and forced her to sit back down. "Sit here."
"Where are you going?" Donna asked blinking rapidly to try and clear her blurry vision. God, her head hurt.
"To get you some Advil." CJ said digging through her drawers. "Damn, I don't have any."
"It okay CJ. I'll be fine." Donna said trying to get back up. "Just a headache."
"Stay." CJ commanded in her no-nonsense tone. "I'll go and steal some from Sam."
"Okay." Donna sighed closing her eyes. God, why wouldn't the room stop spinning.
Watching Donna shiver, CJ pulled a throw over her before heading out of her office to find some Advil and a pair of kneecaps to break.
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Grumbling to himself, Sam crumpled another piece of paper and threw it across his office just as CJ came barreling into his office. Opening his mouth to say something, Sam quickly shut it when he saw the expression on her face. Whatever it was that he did to piss her off, it didn't look like he was getting out alive. "CJ."
"Move." CJ commanded coming around to his desk.
"Okay." Sam complied rolling his chair back. Watching CJ open his drawer with unnecessary force, Sam felt confusion mar his face as he watched her riffle through his pens and pink balls that he stole from Toby. Whatever it was she was looking for, she didn't seem to be any closer to finding it. "Ah…CJ?"
"What?" CJ snapped.
"What are you looking for?"
"Advil."
Reaching across his desk, Sam plucked the yellow bottle from the far corner and handed it over. "Here."
"Thanks."
"Are you okay?" Sam asked confused.
"Why wouldn't I be?" CJ asked twisting the cap fiercely, closer to crushing it then actually opening it.
Taking the bottle from her, Sam popped it open easily and handed it back to her. "You usually don't come in here at midnight and attack my desk."
"Good point." CJ said grabbing Sam's water bottle too.
"So, you do want to tell me what's wrong?"
"Why would anything be wrong?"
"CJ." Sam frowned rubbing his forehead. Stopping abruptly, Sam absently wondered when he'd starting doing that. It was disconcerting that he was picking up Toby's habits.
"I'm going to kill Josh."
"What did he do now?" Sam sighed.
"He's being a jackass." CJ grumbled.
"Okay," Sam said waving his hand in the air, "and you're surprised by that why?"
"Because I'm going to kill him this time." CJ said adamantly.
"What did he do now?" Sam asked surprised by her seriousness.
"It's just…he's…" CJ said struggling to find the right words.
"CJ?"
"Never mind." CJ said shaking her head. "It's nothing." That wasn't true. It wasn't nothing. But what was CJ suppose to say? As the Press Secretary, she was suppose to want a scandal free White House. The President having MS and never disclosing it was bad enough. What sane person would want to add in the Deputy Chief of Staff sleeping with his assistant, to the job? Who cares if the two are unhappy for the next two, maybe six years? Ha! Who cared if they missed their chance together and were unhappy for the rest of their lives? Not her. Right. Who cared if they really loved each other. Who cared if they were perfect for each other? Complemented each other with their crazy quirks. Who gave a damn whether they were or were not happy? Not her. Though, oddly enough, CJ couldn't get over the fact that they both were pretending to be happy for the, ahem, unlucky one who was dating the vivacious and damn annoying Amy Gardner. Can't forget bitchy. No. No. Can't forget that. Or the fact that Amy Gardner seemed incapable of moving her mouth while talking. Nope. Who cared? Not her. Maybe if CJ told herself that enough times, she would begin to believe it.
"CJ?" Sam asked shaking her arm lightly and snapping her out of her mental rant, "CJ?"
"Yeah?" CJ asked easing her death grip on the innocent Advil bottle.
"Are you okay?" Sam repeated.
"I'm just tired." CJ lied. "Listen, I've got to go and give Donna the Advil."
"She's still feeling sick?" Sam asked worried now.
"Still?" CJ asked.
"Yeah. Donna hasn't been feeling well for awhile now. She's been complaining about these headaches. Actually, she hasn't been herself lately."
"How so?" CJ asked feeling bad about not noticing anything unusual about Donna's behavior.
"I don't know," Sam said frowning, "she's just been off. She seems to have trouble remembering things that should be second nature."
"Has she gone to the doctor?" CJ asked.
Looking guilty, Sam played with his pen. "I don't know. I didn't ask."
"Okay." CJ said determined now. She was going to drag Donna to the ER if she had too.
"What is she still doing here?" Sam asked noticing the time.
"Doing something for Josh." CJ practically spit out.
"Josh is still here?" Sam asked surprised. It's been really quiet. He though that Josh had left.
"Apparently," CJ growled, "Josh is on a date with Amy Gardner."
"Oh-kay." Sam said nodding his head. That's why CJ was so mad.
"What?" CJ asked noticing the expression on Sam's face.
"That's why you're mad." Sam stated.
"What?"
"That's why you're in the mood that you're in."
"What are you talking about?" CJ asked trying to compose herself.
"CJ." Sam sighed, "Of all of us, you're the one who wants Josh and Donna to, and I quote, 'finally get their heads out of their asses already' the most."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." CJ denied. One drunken night, and she'd never live it down.
"Yes you do." Sam said gently. "You do. But CJ, now…for them to…it's just…if they…another scandal…"
"Don't you think I know that?" CJ snapped.
"Yes, but…"
"Don't you think that I realize how much easier my job would be if Josh and Donna kept their hands off of each other while we're here?" CJ continued gesturing madly around the room. "I know that, Samuel! It's my job to know that. It's my job to keep them apart. It's my job!"
"But you don't think it's right." Sam pointed out gently. "None of us think that it's right."
"Then why do we keep on pretending that nothing's there?" CJ asked trying to get her emotions in check. "Why do we keep praying that they won't see what they've spent all these years denying? Why?"
"Because we wouldn't survive another scandal." Sam pointed out. He just pointed out exactly what CJ knew but wished she didn't. Talk about hitting the nail dead on the head.
"How do we know?" CJ asked feeling desperation fill her. She didn't want to pretend anymore. She didn't want to watch Josh and Donna anymore and wonder what kind of person she was. What kind of person stood in-between two people who…who…
"We know, CJ." Sam sighed rubbing her arms. "You know it too."
"But I…"
"I know." Sam said smiling sadly. "We've all felt it, CJ."
"I don't like feeling like this." CJ whispered rubbing her tired eyes. "I don't like feeling this guilt."
"None of us do."
"Then why do it?" CJ asked.
"Because we have no other choice."
"We do." CJ said looking down at Sam's kind face.
"No CJ, we don't." Sam said seriously.
"But…"
"CJ." Sam said grasping her arm. "Re-election is coming up. We can't battle two things at once. We don't even know if we can win one."
"Then what am I suppose to do?" CJ asked.
"We're suppose to do our jobs." Sam said simply.
Sighing, CJ looked away from Sam's piercing blue eyes. The problem was, lately she didn't like her job very much.
"We've come this far CJ." Sam said forcing her to look at him, "We've come this far. It's too late to turn back."
"It's never too late." CJ said softly.
"It is." Sam said fiercely. "It is. Josh has Amy Gardner now."
"And who does Donna have?" CJ snapped, hoping to guilt Sam onto her side.
"Until she finds her own prince, she has us." Sam said honestly.
"How do we know that Josh is happy?" CJ rebutted.
"Does he seem unhappy to you?" Sam asked.
"How would I know if he was pretending?" CJ retorted stubbornly.
"Because we would know."
"How do we know Josh wouldn't be happier with Donna?" CJ said posing the eternal question.
Sighing, Sam roughly ran his hands through his hair. Why was CJ bringing it up now? Why? On the eve of re-election, the last thing the administration needed was a scandal involving the Deputy Chief of Staff and his young blonde assistant. Sam knew were CJ was coming from. He saw the special bond that Josh and Donna shared. He saw the way they laughed and bantered. He saw how broken Donna looked when she stumbled into the waiting room at G.W. He saw how she pulled herself together for Josh's sake. How she held him together when he needed her. He saw how Josh pulled himself together for Donna's sake. Not his own. Not for his mother. Not for the administration. Josh did it for one Donnatella Moss. Sam was the one who found Donna crying when Josh fell into a drug induced haze for christ sake. He saw her pacing the halls on Christmas Eve. He saw Donna's love for Josh. He saw Josh's love for Donna. Sam knew exactly the guilt that CJ was feeling. He felt it too.
"How do we know?" CJ repeated watching Sam and his tight face closely.
Snapping his head up to look at CJ, Sam gestured around them. "How do we know that Josh won't hate Donna when she costs him his job? His life?"
"It wouldn't come to that." CJ stuttered.
"It would." Sam sighed. "It would."
"He wouldn't hate her."
"How do we know?" Sam asked throwing CJ's question back at her.
"Because he loves her more then all this." CJ replied. "He loves her."
"He worked his entire life to get to this point." Sam said shaking his head. "Josh is his job. He would never be happy without this."
"Life is more then a job. Happiness is more than the White House." CJ whispered clutching Sam's sleeve.
"For you," Sam said, "for me…for any normal person that's true. But not for Josh. His happiness is instilled in these walls."
"Then what do I do?" CJ asked letting her grip on Sam's sleeve slip away.
"Absolutely nothing."
"Absolutely nothing?" CJ echoed.
"Yes." Sam said sternly, "Don't do anything that you're going to regret CJ."
Sighing, CJ nodded. "Fine." The problem was, she probably wouldn't regret it. Moments like this, CJ knew that she wouldn't regret it. But she wouldn't do it. At least not for now.
"Okay." Sam said sitting back down, drained. The conversation had drained him. He'd never be able to finish this. Grabbing his coat, Sam shrugged it on. "Okay."
"Donna's probably wondering where I am." CJ said shaking the Advil bottle.
"I'll come. I want to see how Donna's doing."
"Okay." CJ said leading Sam through the empty halls towards her office.
Following CJ, Sam re-played their conversation in his head and wondered if it would ever really come to that. Would Josh end up hating Donna? It was a question that Sam wanted but didn't want to know. He usually wasn't one to play with fire. However, CJ had managed to ignite the guilt that Sam was so use to repressing. He hated this feeling. Hopefully a couple of beers would help extinguish this feeling.
"I've got Advil." CJ said hoping that Donna couldn't hear the strain in her voice. "Donna?" CJ asked when she didn't respond. Looking up at Sam with an expression of panic, CJ knelt down beside her couch. "Donna?"
Donna lay beneath the throw that CJ had covered her with, shivering with a force that wasn't natural. Whatever color that had been in her face before was gone. Replacing Donna's normally pink and healthy face with a stark sickly white. Her breathing was labored and shallow. Leaving CJ and Sam with a sick feel in the pit of their stomachs.
"Donna?" CJ said louder. Hoping to wake Donna and quell the panic that she was feeling. Looking up at Sam desperately, CJ shook her head. "Something's wrong."
"Donna?" Sam asked grabbing her shoulders. "Donna?"
"Oh my god." CJ gasped realizing that Donna wasn't shivering. She was convulsing involuntarily. "Donna?"
"Donna!" Sam yelled trying to wake her. "We need an ambulance. CJ, call an ambulance."
Grabbing her phone, CJ punched the numbers with trembling hands and said with a terror that she didn't know she could feel when the ringing stopped, "I need an ambulance."
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Please.......don't hate me. ;] *Mwuhahaaha* I have this thing for cliffhangers....nah, I don't understand it either. ;] This was just a spur of the moment thing that I will continue if you guys want. Here's the catch. You gotta tell me that you want more. ;] Haha. I'm the master of subtly...I know. Hope you enjoyed it.
-Lucy