Mowing the Lawn
Wufei: Only weaklings mow lawns!!!
TP1: Oh, just shut up!! *whacks him over the head w/ her
indestructible blue mallet, which she has somehow acquired from nowhere*
Wufei:…@_@
TP1: Ahem…Now, for the test area…*snaps fingers*
The scene has suddenly changed from a dark room to a sunny,
green yard with grass badly in need of mowing. Five lawn mowers are in the
background.
TP1: Who would like to go first?
Heero: *death glare*
Duo: *whistling*
Trowa:…….
Quatre: *looking fearful*
Wufei: *glaring daggers*
TP1: *sigh* Fine. I'll just pick. Let's see…how about
Quatre?
Quatre gulps and goes over to the nearest lawn mower. The
instant before his hand touches the handle, 40 Managac (sp??) soldiers run over
to him and move him away from the lawnmower, sitting him down in a lawn chair,
conveniently placed under the shade of a tree.
Managac Soldier #1: Do not bother yourself w/ that, Quatre-sama.
I shall do it for you…*starts to pull the
string-that-starts-the-lawn-mower-thingy but is intercepted by another MS*
MS#5: No! I shall aid Master Quatre in the mowing of
the lawn!!
MS#17: NO!!! It is I that shall do it!!!
All the Managac soldiers start arguing (minus Rashid) and
begin a catfight. Rashid slips by them unnoticed and, under the din of their
arguing, begins to mow the lawn.
Rashid: *is finished* Well, Quatre-sama, what do you think?
Quatre: *sweatdrop* Uhh…it's nice…but I could have done it
myself, you know…
MS#34: *stops pulling MS#21's hair* No! You must not
over-exert yourself, Master Quatre!!
TP1: *sweatdrop* Rashid? The purpose of this fic was to see
how Quatre would mow the lawn. Not his over-obsessive protectors!
Rashid: Thousand apologies, madam. *bows* Well, we must be
on our way. Gentlemen…
The Managac soldiers stop fighting and each of them say
good-bye to 'Quatre-sama' before disappearing to whence they came. When all of
them are gone, Quatre lets out a sigh of relief.
Quatre: Whew…sorry about that, TP1-dono; they're only
looking out for me…
TP1: It's ok, as long as they don't show up in this fic
again. Got it?
Quatre: *nods* I'll tell them not to interfere anymore.
TP1: Good. Ok, *turns to four remaining pilots* how
about…Duo!
Duo: Okay…
Duo walks over to the lawn mower, wondering how to start
it. Finally, he decides to pull the string-that-starts-the-lawn-mower-thingy
(I'll call it the STSTLMT from now on…) but ends up tangling it in his braid.
Frustrated, he kicks the lawn mower and it starts. However, Duo's hair is still
entangled w/ it, and it pulls the poor Deathscythe pilot every-which-way,
cutting the once again tall grass at all sorts of weird angles.
Duo: AHHHHHHHH!!! HELP ME!!!!
TP1: *sweatdrop* Fine…*snaps fingers and lawn mower
magically disappears, leaving a crying Duo on the ground, grass-stained and
cuddling his braid in his arms*
Duo: *sniff* My bwaid…*flood cries when he realizes that it
has numerous split-ends*
Everyone else: *sweatdrop*
TP1: We'll just leave Duo alone for awhile…k? Ok! Onto the
third test! Let's have Wuffie-chan handle this one…
Wufei: What did you call me, baka onna?!?!
TP1: Just mow the grass…-_-()
Growling, Wufei walks over to the next lawnmower,
evaluating its quality. Shaking his head in disappointment, he reaches behind
him and pulls out two katana.
Wufei: *gets into fighting stance* Grass, you are a
weakling! I shall annihilate you!!! *starts slicing at amazing speed, leaving
everyone else speechless*
~Moments later…~
TP1: Oh my…*jaw drops*
Wufei: *looks at perfectly even grass triumphantly* Ha!
Lawnmowers are tools of weakness! The true way to cut grass is with katana!!
Duo: *is back from crying over his hair* You know, he does
have a point; he got it a lot more even than any lawnmower ever could.
TP1: *looking at Wufei in disbelief* Wow…*snaps out of it*
Anyway, our next one is…Trowa Barton!
Trowa:……
TP1: Well? Aren't you gonna cut the grass?
Trowa: *shakes head 'no'*
TP1: *sigh* Well, seeing as Trowa refuses to…
Duo: HEY!! How come he gets to get out of it?!
TP1: *gazing starry-eyed at Trowa* Because he's so hanyaan…n_n
Trowa: *rolls eyes, but doesn't say anything for fear that
TP1-dono will get mad at him and make him mow the lawn, anyway*
Duo: Not fair…*pouts*
TP1: *regains composure* Like I was saying…b/c Trowa
refuses to cut the grass, our final person is Heero Yuy.
Everyone looks around expectantly for Heero, but the
Perfect Soldier is nowhere to be found.
TP1: Huh? Wasn't he just-*stops talking as look of horror
comes over face* Oh no…
Her suspicions are correct, as we see Wing Zero landing
just a few feet away from the frightened group.
Heero: *in Zero mode* Heh heh…the grass is my enemy. My
enemy must be wiped out…*aims laser*
TP1: RUNNNNN!!!!! *runs away as fast as she can, followed
by the rest of the gundam pilots*
Heero: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *fires laser; an enormous crater is
formed where the grass once was* Heh heh heh…
Everyone else is caught up in the blast and is covered in
black ashes from the burnt grass.
TP1: *cough cough* HEERO!!! YOU BAKA!!!!!!! *snaps fingers
and Wing Zero disappears, leaving a very happy pilot standing on the rim of a
huge crater*
Heero: Mission: complete. ^_^
TP1: *sigh* There goes my yard…anyway *turns to audience*
please come back for the second chapter of this fic: Gundam Wing On-
Wufei: *reading script of what TP1-dono's about to say,
interrupts her* NOOOO!!! This is EVIL!! INJUSTICE!!!!!
TP1: Hehehe, exactly, my little Wuffie-chan. ^_^ Make sure
to review!!!
