A/N: Thought about writing this when I saw the new Killers video. Epic song that it is, I couldn't ignore that Dianna Agron was stepping in for Brandon Flowers. Just had to write a fic about it.

Glee will never be mine and The Killers for that matter.

Prologue

I open my eyes, it's far too bright outside. Funny I don't remember opening up the curtains, not last night anyway. Those stars just remind me of her, all of their brightness and sparkles just remind me of her. Does it really matter though when everything seems to be a reminder of her? I close my eyes for a few seconds and damn there she is again. I choose to stare at the ceiling, it's one of those popcorn ceilings from the 70's – was that what they called them? Our old apartment in New York had similar ones. I miss that apartment. It was rotten and small, the heater never worked but it was okay because we would cuddle up close to each other and we knew we would make it through the night.

My eyes begin to well with tears again, so I close them up shut willing myself to get control over my emotions. No more crying, I don't want to cry.

I hear a faint sound coming from the hallway, pulling me out of my reverie. I disregard it but moments later the sounds become louder and it's no longer easy to ignore. Maybe I should get up, but my body refuses, its weak and hungry from days of disuse. I try anyway, to get up and investigate the offending noise. I move slowly and paddle my sore limbs through the hallway. I reach the kitchen and catch Santana rummaging the contents of the refrigerator. Pointless, I barely packed anything much less grab something for consumption. She shuts the door and huff in disappointment, turning instead to investigate the contents of the pantry. She grunts this time. Like I said earlier, pointless.

She notices me finally; a little astonished to find me standing in the hallway. She opens her mouth, about to say something but she points to the kitchen table instead. I find two cups of coffee and my mouth begins to water. I pull the chair and sit. My hands find one of the drinks and cup it. I didn't realize how cold I was, that my body has been shivering. My body welcomes the small contact of heat emanating from the cup. I take a small sip and feel the warmth quell my thirst and appease my shivers.

It takes a moment before I decide to say something. I know she's waiting for me to. There are many things that I want to ask like "How is she doing?", "Have you see her?" None of those came out. I wasn't ready. I hold my breath, unsure of how to proceed. I could talk about the weather – not gonna work. Not with Santana anyway.

I settle for "How did you find me?"

She takes careful footsteps towards the table, handing me a plate of food. Hmmm bacon and eggs, thoughtful, I surmise. She takes a bite of her own food before mumbling out "Do you really care?"

I shake my head, "No, not really."

"What happened Q?"

I stand up and head for the coffee table adjacent to the kitchen. I rustle for a lighter and later find my cigarettes. I turn it in between my fingers before lighting it and coming back to the kitchen.

I inhale and let the smoke linger in my lungs before I blow it out. "We broke up."

Santana drums her fingers against the table, looks up to me almost disbelievingly before replying, "Shit, I thought you guys just fought. I didn't… I'm sorry Q."

I notice her try to hide her surprise and I pretend not to see it. I grip my coffee and finish off whatever was left. It was cold now but I gulp it anyway. I chuck my finished cigarette and she grimaces at my actions.

Sensing my non-chalantness she changes the subject.

"Nice place you've got here." She offers while surveying the apartment. It was a mess, much like me, with bottles of alcohol carelessly thrown around, ashtray full of cigarette butts. I chuckle at her statement. Her attempts at humor always make me smile.

"She just another girl Q, don't let it stick to your heart so hard."

I look down, why she can't just let me enjoy this moment, I don't know. Pain settles uncomfortably in my chest, it leaves me feeling nauseous, it's tightening.

"That's just the thing; she's been stuck there for a long time now. I can't just peel if off." I barely choke out the reply.

"You're going to have to. Please tell you're not coming back to her. She broke your heart." I can see anger building up in her. I've only ever seen her like this when it involved Brittany.

I close my eyes again, trying to stop myself from falling apart. I see her eyes again. Those brown sad eyes, I've come accustomed to these past few months.

It was the final straw. I hug myself as I prepare for my inevitable break down. I see Santana enter my line of vision a few seconds after, she's wearing a sad smile but I can't make it out. My eyes are too blurry from all the tears. She stands me up and lead me to the sofa; one hand stabling me as my foot steps falter and the other wiping my tears.

It's the feel of her gentle fingers wiping my tears that make me realize even more the mistakes I've made and just how fucked up my choices have been. How I know, deep in my bones, that I did this to myself.

"I messed up, San" I gasp through my tears.

"Don't do this Q, Don't take all the blame. She broke your heart." She runs her fingers on my wet cheeks and kneels in front of me. Somehow she manages to wrap her arms around me.

"She broke my heart, but I know I've been breaking hers too."

So that's the prologue, I've already written the next chapter and just doing some editing. Not quite sure how long this fic would be so let me know what you guys think.